Lit Books Comics A/V One Sentence or Less -- ANDOR (SEASON 1)

The Messiah has arrived and He is........Nom Anor?

 

If the Chiss had Google or Wikipedia they could have saved Luke & company a lot of trouble.

 

Luke, Mara, and Jacen read books while The Truce at Bakura happens again for some reason.

 

Alternatively...

The ten-year anniversary re-release of The Truce at Bakura is given a new subplot: "Going to the library with Baron Fel."

 

The "Invading Aliens from Bantam" Tour continues with a reenactment of an irrelevant Bantam standalone, while the Jade Shadow gang takes an entire novel to perform minimally interesting research and completely waste the presence of the Fel family, and Nom Anor leads a cult devoted to the good guys because he's Nom Anor and he does what he goddamn wants.

 

I only have really vague memories so I'm hoping the instance I'm thinking of was actually in this book (this whole trilogy just blurs together after all these years), otherwise if I'm wrong, ignore my post.


Baron Fel claims he can count, as even without Force telepathy he knew the Jade Shadow crew obviously counted to three before counterattacking against some assassins, yet he can't seem to keep track of how many kids he has.

 

Haha, perfect. Yeah, that was Refugee. Luke was written like an idiot in that scene. "Wow! You have the Force?" "Uh, no, I can just count."

 

Boo-urns! I won a competition I didn't even know I was in, but then I got disqualified. Damn you Obamacare!

 

The long awaited revamp of The Truce At Bakura, now with no chapters

 

Jaina takes a fascinating tour of the Bakuran underground, while Jacen and the Skywalkers would have had a much easier time searching the Chiss library if they had only understood the decimal-based cataloging system invented by Bard'ewe'youdoro.

 

Technically you tied. Though Hav's in the lead now anyway. So it's not Obamacare's fault.

 

Yes.

 

Librarian: Can I help you?

Luke: Do you know anything about Zonama Sekot?

Librarian: I don't see it listed, is there anything else you need?

Luke: Yes, I'd like a copy of The Truce at Bakura, please.

 

I'm on the fence about counting Parnesius' entry given that it's not really a sentence, but seeing that second place is both tied and distant, here's the deal: I'm translating the entry into the below sentence. If it gets at least 7 votes (2/3 of the original's current tally of 10) in the next 24 hours, it wins.

Jacen Solo Visits the Library: for curious Young Jedi Knights everywhere.

 

Half of the cast discover these amazing things known as books while, to the surprise of absolutely no one, the Ssi-ruuk are still evil.

 

Oh, screw it, Parnesius wins.

 

The boring conclusion to the Greatest Hits of Bantam that does a bunch of things that no one remembers because Greg Keyes wrote the set up to the finale

 

TENTACLE RAPE, is always part of the Vong's contract.

 

To "surprise" Pellaeon, Jag pulls a stunt so crazy that Jaina would have asked him what the hell he was thinking (if she hadn't been trapped in Tahiri/Riina's mind at the time), Han and Leia discover a life form that refer to themselves as a word that looks like a weird synonym of belch, and after all that they had been through to finally find the mysterious sentient planet to help defeat the Vong, Jacen tells it "Gee, maybe it would be wrong to use you as a weapon, but thanks for offering!" (but Sekot decides to go anyway.)

 

I'm sure that's a reference to something, but no way in hell am I Googling "tentacle rape" from work.

 

Eight hundred pages later, we finally reach Zonama Sekot, only to learn absolutely nothing new, but at least Jaina, Jag, and Pellaeon get to smash some Vong while Han and Leia save silly aliens and everyone pretends that this was a good use of the NJO's third act.

 

A lost world found, a lost mind recovered, a lost honor lost further and a loss of interest by the reader.

 

Team Leia seems to fight one long, drawn out battle, Team Luke finds a long lost living planet that fails to live up to its hype, Jacen says no, Luke says yes and they listen to Luke because he's freakin' Luke.