Before One Week (Response to Writers Race Challenge Three)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by kateydidnt, Mar 13, 2005.

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  1. kateydidnt Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2004
    star 4
    Summary: Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are called on a mission for outside the Republic. This story chronicles their week long trip.

    Note: This is a response to Challenge Three of the Writers Race. Certain words and phrases are in bold for a purpose.

    One Week

    Don't Jump on the Beds! Proclaimed the sign in the crèche. Someone had decided to ignore it though and of course someone had gotten hurt as well. The patient healer took care to sooth the bruises and scared eyes of the little one. A senior Padawan watched in amusement as a different healer tended his lightsaber burn.
    ?Does that happen often? Kids getting hurt jumping on the beds?? he asked in a low tone so the little boy did not hear.
    ?Oh, every so often,? his healer said, ?although it has not happened as often as it did when you tamperd with the sign so that it said Jump on the Beds! I heard the Creche mothers were ready to order parachutes for all of you in case you accidentally went through the window.

    Obi-Wan looked at his healer trying to look like he had no idea what she was talking about. Although, his bed had been beside the window and that day that it had been open?.

    He shook his head and focused on his Master who had just come into the room.

    ?Obi-Wan, the council has given us a new mission. We have to leave as soon as possible.?
    ?Where are we going?? Obi-Wan asked as the healer finished with him.
    ?Beyond the Outer Rim.? Qui-Gon answered as they walked away from the healer?s wing.
    Obi-Wan looked at him with wide eyes, ?Beyond the Outer Rim? Where exactly are we going? And why are we going there??
    ?A small ship of colonists has called for aid as they seem to have encountered some trouble near a planet plagued with almost constant electrical storms. Their engines were badly damaged when a solar flare forced them to detour too close to the atmosphere. Their communications were quite difficult to decipher, but the problem and location are clear enough.?
    ?How are we going to help them and avoid falling into the same predicament?? Obi-Wan asked as they approached their rooms.
    Qui-Gon shrugged, ?The mechanics and engineers are working on modifying our engines and deflectors so the storms will not damage us as much.?
    ?As much?? Obi-Wan repeated nervously.
    Qui-Gon simply nodded and set about packing the few belongings he would be taking. Obi-Wan stared at him for a moment and then asked, "How can you be so calm, while you're telling me this? That there is no guarantee that we will not be stuck in the same predicament as the colonists??
    Qui-Gon turned, focusing his full attention on his Padawan, ?Obi-Wan this is not like you. You know that we are often called upon to perform dangerous missions. What bothers you so much about this one??
    Obi-Wan sighed and paused, examining the thoughts and anieties that were plaguing his mind. ?I guess it is the idea that if something did go wrong that we would be stuck so far from home.?
    ?Do not let these fears overtake you Obi-Wan. Just let the Force guide you and let yourself trust in the Council and in me that the mission is not hopeless.?
    ?Yes Master,? Obi-Wan said, pushing his fears aside and moving quickly to gather the few personal items he would be taking.

    Minutes later they were en route to their craft. Given the amount of time it would take Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon to get to the planet and the condition they suspected the colonists to be in the Master-Padawan team was taking a fully loaded modified commercial freighter rather than the standard Jedi transports. Mace Windu met them in the hanger and gave them their final briefing along with some last minute advice and supplies. After a few minutes though they were ready to leave and the nervousness that had come to Obi-Wan previously suddenly revisited. Master Windu bade them farewell with a parting May the Force be with you and they b
  2. Knight_Dilettante Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2002
    star 4
    =D= Excellent story! You created a wonderful story out of that mess of words. I am very impressed. And I loved your characterizations! Bravo!

    KD
  3. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    I agree with k_d, very well done.

    ?Er, dangerous and determined.? Obi-Wan was now looking at Qui-Gon with a flushed face, ?It?s, um, what we call the initiates.? ... love the definition of D&D!! [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
  4. JediPrissyPants Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2005
  5. Indra Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2003
    star 3
    Wonderfully done! The words were skillfully dropped in. And I laughed very hard at the 'black object' scene. :D Very imaginative.
  6. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    Loved the black object part myself. I could picture a lump of charred food steaming in the pan. I loved the bed by the window part too.
  7. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Impressive. You made a decent story out of the mess! It was almost like a serious of humorous vignettes, but that just added to the fun. Creative uses of some of those words. Good job!
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