Before - Legends Open Wide And Say AHH! (Qui-Gon, Sian Ny, Obi-Wan) One Shot, crackfic

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jinngerbread, Sep 13, 2009.

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  1. Jinngerbread Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 2, 2007
    star 4
    Title: Open Wide and Say AAAGHH!
    Author: Jinngerbread
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Sian Ny
    Genre: Humor, obviously crackfic.
    Summary: Qui-Gon has a problem with some medication.
    Author's Note: Sian Ny belongs to VaderLVR64. I am only borrowing him with her permission. :) Please ask her before using him.

    "I saw that."

    "Saw what?"

    "Master, don't try and fool me."

    "Fool you? Why would I need to when I've not hidden anything?"

    "I saw you throw away that medication in the trash."

    "I did nothing of the sort."

    "You did too."

    "By all means, padawan feel free to look in the garbage and see."

    "All right, I saw you throw it, where did it go?"

    "As you can see by your examination, Obi-Wan, I am perfectly innocent."

    "A likely story."

    "Sian, go away, we don't need you around for this."

    "How rude, and I'm on Obi-Wan's side, too."

    "You don't even know why we're arguing! You just came in the door five seconds ago."

    "Yes but you said the words 'perfectly innocent' and they have never described you at all, Qui-Gon Jinn."

    "Well I'm glad somebody is on my side. Now confess, Master."

    "I am a Jedi Master Obi-Wan, would I do something as childish as throw away my medication after pretending to take it?"

    "If I remember right, I think you did that more than once when you were a padawan."

    "Sian, nobody asked for your opinion. Besides, I was a padawan. I'm not one now."

    "That doesn't mean the possibility doesn't exist that Obi-Wan is right and you're stalling."

    "Ny, I know where you sleep."

    "Yes and right now you can't get to it either because you're here in the Healers, hooked up to bone knitters, so I'm not really that scared. We just want what's best for you."

    "Sure you do."

    "Was that sarcasm I detected?

    "Not a bit, Ny. Now for the final time, go away and let me argue with Obi-Wan alone."

    "You're only afraid of losing against the two of us. And besides, the Healers are trying to make sure that you stay healthy enough to argue, one would think you'd be appreciative of their efforts. You could have the Pyrrhic influenza like the person in the room next door if you don't take your medication."

    "I hate medication, Sian, you know that."

    "Hate is of the Dark Side."

    "So is medication."

    "Two wrongs make a right?"

    "So this is what you thought you would do instead, Master? Throwing it to the plant?"

    "Well it wasn't in the trash can."

    "That's beside the point. You're avoiding taking your medication."

    "So would you, if you had to take a pill as big as a tauntaun."

    "It's not that bad, Master, we could get Healer Han'yaie to cut them down to size for you."

    "That wouldn't make it any easier to swallow, then it would just have sharp edges."

    "Well I'm sure Han'yaie was only being proportional to your height, Qui-Gon."

    "It's not my fault you two are both short and that's not the reason for that pill."

    "Is he always this bad of a patient Master Ny?"

    "I'm afraid so kid. I was hoping you'd be a good influence on him."

    "Well, I'm working on it, but with how stubborn he is, you know how difficult a job it can be."

    "Obi-Wan, I am listening and I do have the ability to ground you the rest of your adult life."

    "Sorry, Master, but it's true. You are stubborn and you can be difficult."

    "And I think Obi-Wan is being generous just saying you can and not saying you are."

    "Obi-Wan, what made you think to look in that decorative plant bed anyway?"

    "Well you're always telling me to be mindful of the Living Force, Master. "

    "I see you apply my teachings selectively."

    "Just like you listening to the Healers, Master."


    "It's true, Master."

    "Now will you take this or do I have to shove it down your throat, Qui-Gon?"

    "Fine, I'll take it, give it here. There, happy?"

    "Maybe we should check under the tongue to make sure he's not hiding it intending to spit it out soon as our backs are turned."

    "Funny. Look, opening my mouth wide and everything, I took it. I just don't like taking it because it has forty side effects."

    "Forty? How come it has that many side effects?"

  2. Aya-Na_Bashu Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 14, 2005
    star 2

    I can so hear that argument. Better taun taun sized than bantha sized.
  3. Gkilkenny Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    That reminded me of a mere male friend, he has to take six at breakfast with a full glass of water and he chokes on them one at a time as they go down. He doesn't know how I can take two at once with not much water.:p

    I feel for poor Qui-Gon, they are ganging up on him.o_O

  4. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6

    Poor Qui!

    Though I have to confess, I've often wondered why some pill are made as big as they are. Are they trying to get the patient to choke :p

    Loved Sian's "butting" in to the argument. And he's right, Qui didn't stand a chance with him and Obi.

    Great job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  5. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    I read this early this morning. [face_laugh] Poor Qui-Gon, getting in trouble with his best friend AND his Padawan!

  6. JediKaren Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2007
    star 3
    *falls over laughing and coughing at the same time*

    What great timing! I'm sick and just got these HUGE pills to take. ugh!
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