Saga Opinion: Star Wars: Vergence/Star Wars: Vergence-Future of the Order

I am working on these two stories as a side project, hoping to shop them to Lucasfilm and Dark Horse to get them in comic form. Here is a brief synopsis:
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The story picks up during the fight between Sidious and Windu. Sidious has slain Fitso, Kolar, and Tiin, and Anakin watches on as Windu is about to deliver the Sai cha(beheading Palpatine), but in this timeline, Anakin doesnt fall to the dark side. The force ghost of Qui Gon reveals himself for the first time, and Anakin merely stops Windu's blade instead of cutting off his limb. Windu and Anakin resume arguing over death/arrest, and at this time Palpatine uses force lightning on a distracted Windu, incapacitating him, to which Anakin intercepts. Palpatine summons Windu's lightsaber and commences fighting Anakin, and not surprisingly quickly overwhelms him. As Palpatine berates Anakin(using Dun Moch), getting increasingly more arrogant, Anakin severs Palpatine's blade wielding arm as Palpatine underestimates the young Jedi and mistimes a thrust. An enraged Palpatine lets loose on Anakin with as lethal a dose of force lightning as he possibly can(which in turn damages Anakin's cybernetic arm). As Palpatine is distracted with this, a revived Windu stabs Palpatine through the heart from behind(an unhonorable but necessary kill), and rushes Anakin to a temple infirmary, sending a platoon of clone troopers to retrieve the body.

Anakin re-dedicates himself to the Jedi order, and confides in Windu his struggles with the dark side and his marriage to and unborn child with Padme. A conference between the rest of the high council ensues and they decide to let Anakin stay in the order, on the council, and promote him to Master if he divorces Padme in accordance to Jedi dogma. Anakin does so, and ensures that his child(or children as he soon finds out) will not be trained as Jedi despite their high force potential, not wanting them to go through the constant struggle and hardship that comes with being a Jedi. He promises Padme, however, that he will always love her and watch over her and their children, even if they dont know hes there.

Cut to 6 years in the future. Jedi Masters Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker both took new apprentices almost immediately following the events on Utapau and in the Chancellor's office. Obi Wan took a bright orphaned padawan named Zett Jukassa(he was the one cut down by clones as he tried to reach Bail Organa's speeder in ROTS FYI) and Anakin took an advanced 8 year old female named Mari Amithest(one of the younglings training with Yoda during AOTC). 6 years into their training, partially due to who their masters are, the now 16 and 14 year old(respectively) padawan learners are considered the brightest and most advanced of them all. With the Confederacy's leadership(Sidious, Dooku, Grevious) all gone, the clone wars essentially ended, with nothing more than sweeps of the outer rim and core planets to get what remnants of the armies were left. Since they werent needed for battle nearly as often, Obi Wan and Anakin were able to dedicate themselves to training their padawans.

Anakin chose Mari's style, after she mastered Form I at an early age, choosing for her to follow in his footsteps as a Form V user. He also decided to teach her Jar'Kai(dual lightsaber combat, she always carries two lightsabers but primarily uses one), Sokan(combining Form III and Form IV elements to a defensive subform with quick strikes to vital areas), and Shien(holding the hilt backwards for long sweeping strikes). Along with saber techniques, he teaches her Teras Kasi, the unarmed fighting style which was developed to COUNTER Jedi. Along with this, he preached other force abilities, chief among them Battlemind, which augmented their morale and fighting spirit through sheer will, basically molding her into a great warrior. She carries a yellow lightsaber.

Obi Wan likewise focused Zett on battle, but a more balanced form. Zett mastered Form I relatively early like Mari and decided himself(with O

 

No opinions for me?