Before Options ---- Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, mission -- COMPLETE -- 21-Oct-2007

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ardavenport, Aug 1, 2007.

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  1. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    unexpected turn of events...

    are we seeing Mayb's true colors?

    and a cold Qui-Gon, wow. i suppose he wouldn't be quite so frosty if the person he had Force suggested had been a bit nicer.

    will wait patiently for author's return!@};-
  2. Master_Tigris_Leigh Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2004
    star 1
    I'm delurking because I felt the need to tell you how awesome I think your story is, and how great you are at mixing action and humor. =D=

    I can't wait for the conversation between Qui and Obi about how he gave her those bruises . :D Please post soon, and if you don't mind, kind you add me to your PM list?
  3. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    Mayb's kick finally connected.
    Oh dear - she is really angry now. I'm glad I'm not somewhere nearby ;)
  4. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Yay Mayb! You go girl

    I hope she will take a moment, after collecting herself, to be grateful the ruse was exposed before she found herself a slave.

    Loved how one minute she's attacking and the next whining about her bruises

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]


    Great update

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  5. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Buckethead [interrobang} How dare she! :p

    Seems there's even more going on than first thought huh?
  6. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4

    JazzFox: I must admit that I'm glad Mayb got to kick something that wasn't Obi-Wan. :p Thanks for the reply!

    Valairy_Scot: Hmmmmm, I don't know if one could find steel-toes boots that would match Mayb's outfit. :p Thanks for reading!

    ratna: Yes, I think that Mayb's true personality is showing a bit along with her temper. I don't think Qui-Gon minds terminating the contract option a bit. Thanks for reading!

    Master_Tigris_Leigh: Oooooh, thanks for delurking! I'm glad you're enjoying the story. More explanations to come.

    Fifilla: I think that Obi-Wan especially wishes he were not somewhere near Mayb. :p. Thanks for reading!

    KELIA: Thank-you! But I'm sure that Mayb is very practiced with gratitude. [face_whistling]

    Healer_Leona: Oh yes, there is plenty going on. Thanks for the reply!



  7. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4


    === oO%*%Oo ==%%%== oO%*%Oo ==%%%== oO%*%Oo === - - part 10


    Obi-Wan stood in the back of the lift full of police, prisoners and Jedi. And Mayb.

    She had retrieved her metallic gold dress and shoes, kept the white robe to hide her bruises and wrapped a complimentary hotel scarf over her 'ruined' hair. While she had done that, he and Qui-Gon had more or less gotten the rest of Master Devano and Knight Yudis' story.

    Aimoh'toh and his enforcers had been following Mayb, hoping to capture her since she had been promised to a 'special' customer. Aimoh'toh did not seek out cheap, sentient labor for use on backward worlds where it was cheaper than droids and their maintenance. He supplied sentient flesh to rich criminals who craved the sinister luxury of dominating another being, the cruelest form of slavery.

    Strangely enough Aimoh'toh had not tried to kill Hawxol. That attack had come from three former students of the Yube Krim Academy who had been Aimoh'toh's former victims and freed from their slave masters by Yinis and Binoka. One came from a family of means and the three of them had vowed a pact of revenge before they set off to expand Yinis and Binoka's work. But none of them were assassins and Yudi and Devano had easily stopped them. Devano declared them to be nothing more than an annoying distraction, but he admitted that they had been useful in frightening information out of Hawxol. They had been left behind in the custody of the local authorities on Massko, though Devano expected them to be eventually let go with only a warning.

    The lift doors opened and they all moved out into the lobby. Aimoh'toh snarled at the constables who had a firm grip on his upper arms. The slaver's anger burned hotter than even Mayb's fit of outrage.

    They crossed over Qui-Gon's saber gashes in the marble floors and separated into two groups. The police would take Aimoh'toh and Hawxol. Slavery or enabling slavery was a crime against the Republic and could be prosecuted on Cucadu. The Jedi would remain for a few days until the local authorities and the sector prosecutors had questioned them for the courts. And Qui-Gon would arrange for accommodations and transport back to Massko for Mayb.

    Obi-Wan spotted Zi-Zom Edoma's maroon suit across the lobby as they went to the manager's office to make arrangement for the considerable damage done to the hotel. The lawyer stood with four others, two men and two women. Three of them broke off from the group and headed toward the moving knot of police.

    "Aaaaaaaauuuuuuggggghhhhhh!!!!"

    Devano's yell filled the huge lobby. People jumped and looked around while others on balconies a few floors up looked down. Devano and Yudi, blue and green sabers lit and swinging, leapt high, landed and ran toward the three people approaching the police who had their weapons drawn. Activating their own sabers, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon rushed after them.

    "What are you doing here?" Devano bellowed. "I left you on Massko!" Both Devano and Yudi had their sabers pointed toward them, but the three appeared to be unarmed, or if they had weapons, they were smart enough not to draw them. They were all humanoid young adults, wearing similar utilitarian gray jump suits. One was a beautiful Twi'lek woman with a light purple complexion and a diamond tattoo on one cheek. Another was a large, muscular male human with reddish blond hair and a big chest. The third, standing in the middle before the other two was a pale-skinned, sliver-haired humanoid, as tall as Yudi and Qui-Gon. She pressed one hand to her chest, all her body motions smooth and elegant, like a dancer.

    "Looking for a little more revenge are we?" Devano challenged the tall woman, apparently the leader of the three.

    She made a face, showing her distaste for the short Jedi Master barring her way. Her expression changed to virulent hatred as she looked toward the police prisoners. Obi-Wan sensed an anger, a betrayal and fear that had been nurtured for a long time. Hawxol looked away. Aimoh'toh leered evilly.
  8. Persephone_Kore Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 19, 2006
    star 4
    *shrieks with laughter* They got chased out by karaoke!

    I also particularly liked Pom's comment that she used to be like Mayb. It seems to offer some hope for Mayb to grow up eventually, if hopefully in less traumatic circumstances -- though I don't know whether that's likely to happen with Mak Edoma or not.
  9. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    what is it with Jedi and singing[face_laugh][face_laugh] Great update
  10. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    I'm wit you , bra!
  11. Master_Tigris_Leigh Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2004
    star 1
    Hee hee, "an aggressive sexual advance" indeed. [face_laugh]

    Well it seems as though everyone is happy, even Mayb. :D

    Loved the end to the post, and I can't wait to see where you go with this next. Also, thanks for the PM. [:D]
  12. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
  13. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    "She made an aggressive sexual advance toward me. And I pushed her away. And locked the door." His explanation was as short as he could make it. Obi-Wan kept his gaze steady on his fellow Jedi.

    Poor Obi-Wan. He's been through a lot. And Qui-Gon seemed mildly annoyed and distracted by the whole thing. At least Mayb is gone!

    LOL on the karaoke.
  14. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    "They're JEDI, Zi-Zom. They CAN'T get married. They're all EUNUCHS!"

    "I am not," Devano said, offended.

    "Nor me," Yudi added.

    [face_laugh]

    Loved the whole chapter! =D=
  15. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    That was hilarious.

    "They're JEDI, Zi-Zom. They CAN'T get married. They're all EUNUCHS!"

    My favorite line

    Great update

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  16. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Well that would run me off too! :p

    Another great update! =D=
  17. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Persephone_Kore, earlybird-obi-wan, ratna, Master_Tigris_Leigh, Healer_Leona, dianethx, Fifilla, KELIA, VaderLVR64: my apologies for not replying individually. I love your replies @};- [face_love] but I'm later than I wanted to be with posting the last bit and I'm looking at some potentially time-consuming DRL for the next few weeks, probably month, so I'm posting without replies for now. Replies to replies later - thanks so much for reading! :)




    === oO%*%Oo ==%%%== oO%*%Oo ==%%%== oO%*%Oo === - - part 11


    "The mark will be completely gone by tomorrow," the white droid told Mayb, removing the last bacta patch from her bruises. This one from her elbow. The smudge of darker color left behind made her immediately want to wash it off, but she would have to wait for it to finish healing.

    After the Grand Muzat's med droid collected its tools and excused itself Mayb was able to turn her chair back to the mirror to see how the hotel grooming droid was doing with her hair. She smiled at the results. Her golden hair looked nearly perfect again.

    "I believe all the damaged strands have been repaired or trimmed and it has been properly moisturized. I will begin styling it now," the droid announced, ZZ8 or ZT9 or something like that.

    "Of course," Mayb agreed and the droid began gathering up tresses.

    Mak was taking her out to a nightclub later that night. Thankfully she had a good enough evening outfit with her. But she would need to go shopping tomorrow.

    "Are you done with the droid Mayb?" Mak asked, coming out of the fresher. "I think I need a trim before dinner." He patted his neat mustache.

    "It's just doing my hair. It'll be done in a little while."

    Mak grunted and went to the wardrobe for a fresh suit.

    Unfortunately they were having dinner with Mak's lawyer cousin. Mak said they couldn't avoid it since Zi-Zom was close friends with his Mum. He would never hear the end of it if they did not placate her. And they were going to meet Mak's Mum and Da tomorrow. They would have to arrange for a suitable meeting with her parents and sis and step-brother and cousin. The meeting with he family would have to wait for them to arrange the trip off world.

    Family. Now that's the proper way to open a marriage negotiation. I don't know what I could have been thinking with Qui-Gon.

    She shuddered, now embarrassed by her appalling lack of judgement. Certainly other girls fantasized about older men, but she had taken it too far. She supposed it was just part of the bad judgement of youth, but Mayb really had expected that she was well past the impetuous faze of her life. The droid has finished gathering up all her hair and was winding the glittering wire around it to serve as the base for her evening headdress.

    "I don't think the contract penalties are enough for all that happened. I want to sue," she said while she applied a little cream to her cheeks, nice and smooth.

    "Can't."

    Mayb scrunched up her face in displeasure and then hastily smoothed her features, but Mak was busy with the closures on his over-tunic. He was not looking.

    "I wanted to sue," he said, standing and adjusting his collar, "the minute I heard who took your option, but Zi-Zom said you can't sue a Jedi. The courts won't take it. They have immunity. To everything apparently. And Zi-Zon is a hissing screech when it comes to getting her way with the law. Loves sinking her fangs into a tough case. If she says it can't be done, then it can't be done."

    He came over to the dressing table and stood behind her, an admiring look on his face in the reflection, while the silver and white hotel droid, the blue and purple seal of the Grand Muzat large on its body, settled the headdress on her head and began attaching it.

    "We're getting along so well. I wonder if this marriage contract thing is really necessary?" he speculated.

    Mayb made a pouty face. "Well, I suppose we could talk about that with your Mum and Da tomorrow," she speculated. He grimaced and Mayb pre
  18. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    =D= Very nice ending - I really enjoyed this story!
    Great job! =D=

    In the end all Jedi found themselves choosing between the transitory pleasures of living and the essence and energy of life itself.
    Loved that sentence!
  19. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Perfection! :D

    Loved this:

    "Do you still harbor a desire for Mayb."

    His apprentice shook his head.

    "No. I believe that energy is. . . spent." Obi-Wan sighed now. "And I still do not know why ever had it."

    "Do you wish to know why?"

    "There is no why Master," Obi-Wan answered with a sad smile. "It simply is. Or was." Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "Or will be."

    Qui-Gon raised his eyebrows at this unexpected wisdom, but before he could ask for more, Obi-Wan asked him something.

    "Was it this difficult for you, Qui-Gon? When you were my age?"

    "No." He folded his arms before him. "For events like these, I never even thought to ask myself the questions you put to yourself. I would simply act."


    How true! ;)

    =D=
  20. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    You tied everything up so neatly but I was rather sad at the end, especially after this...

    "No," Qui-Gon reassured him. "You said that you had deceived yourself into believing that you could control your moment of desire. But your recognized it immediately. That is who you are, Obi-Wan.

    "However, I," he continued, loosening his arms and then lowering his hands to rest them on his knees, "deceived myself for years thinking that the Force stayed with me during pleasure and passion. There were no attachments; they would be gone as soon as they were spent. But there was no control at those times. It took me years to truly learn what you know by instinct, Obi-Wan," he admitted.

    Obi-Wan looked surprised. And then thoughtful.

    "I still feel as if I have missed something. And that the opportunity will not return. Or if it does, I will not take it."

    "No," Qui-Gon agreed. "That seems unlikely."


    Yes, that's who he is but to never really know the joys and desperation of passion, even for a little while is something he might have used to better understand Anakin. Ah, well.

    Nicely done. Loved that they jumped into the gardens together at the end.

  21. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    In the end all Jedi found themselves choosing between the transitory pleasures of living and the essence and energy of life itself.

    ... ...

    "Shall we visit the rest of the garden?" He invited, gesturing to the paths far below. Obi-Wan grinned.

    They jumped off the platform together.



    Nice ending. Perhaps what are transitory pleasures of living and what is the essence and energy of life depends on what each person brings to the moment...?@};-
  22. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    loved the entire story seeing it coming together in the end and

    "Shall we visit the rest of the garden?" He invited, gesturing to the paths far below. Obi-Wan grinned.

    They jumped off the platform together.


    was a wonderful end.=D=
  23. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    I loved Qui and Obi's conversation and thank the Force this whole mess with Myab is over!!

    [face_dancing] [face_dancing] [face_dancing] [face_dancing]

    I want to sue

    *sigh*
    Mayb, Mayb, Mayb

    [face_shame_on_you] [face_shame_on_you] [face_shame_on_you] [face_shame_on_you]

    Why doesn't that surprise me? :p

    I'm glad she has found happiness with Mak. They seem perfect together.

    Great ending. I have enjoyed the story from beginning to end

    =D= =D= =D= =D=

  24. Master_Tigris_Leigh Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2004
    star 1
    Sniffle. Its over. :( But what a beautiful ending! I loved it, especially how they jumped into the garden together. [:D] =D=

    Mayb was a fascinating OC. I found myself both loving and hating her at various points in the story, but I'm glad she found herself someone to suit her needs...and leave Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to people who can appreciate their oddness. :D ;)

    Excellent story. Write more soon!

  25. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Mak Edoma was not perfect; Mayb could see that. He was hopelessly vain for one thing. But after Qui-Gon. . . .

    . . . .Mayb thought that Mak Edoma had excellent possibilities.


    And not just a bit like her huh? o_O ;)

    "However, I," he continued, loosening his arms and then lowering his hands to rest them on his knees, "deceived myself for years thinking that the Force stayed with me during pleasure and passion. There were no attachments; they would be gone as soon as they were spent. But there was no control at those times. It took me years to truly learn what you know by instinct, Obi-Wan," he admitted.


    An honest and frank observation on both of them.

    That was a most lovely ending. [face_love] [face_love] Thank you for sharing it.
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