Our city rep?

Discussion in 'Detroit, MI' started by Idgie, Mar 20, 2002.

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  1. MiraxTHorn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 22, 2000
    star 4
    Oh, you guys are good! I can't decide if I should share these speeches with my History classes or not. ;)

    M.
  2. TheHuntressDiana Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2001
    star 4
    I left out a section or two on mine...and a few sentences here and there...but I thought that was enough.

    Besides, some parts are just too hard to make relevant in less than 20 minutes. ;)
  3. Idgie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4


    Episode I:The FanForce Menace

    Turmoil has engulfed the Detroit FanForce.The election of the City Rep of outlying Michigan townships is in dispute.

    Hoping to resolve the matter with a secret vote,the crafty FanForce has stopped all online voting by the small group at Yahoo.

    While the Congress of theForce.net endlessly debates this alarming chain of events,the RSA has secretly dispatched two moderators,the guardians of peace and justice on the internet,to settle the dispute...
  4. SwordChick Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2001
    star 2
    good one Idgie! I see a TFN fan film in the making.
  5. royalguard96 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2001
    star 5
  6. Idgie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
    You got it,SwordChick!Here is an excerpt from the first `trailer'!:)

    (cut to a scene of several people sitting around a large table)

    Robertyodarugenstein:`There has not been a full-scale war since the formation of R2-detroit..."

    (cut to the Border's Books cafe.A dimly lit table in the corner)

    (Idgie slides into one of four chairs.Already seated are MiraxThorn,Swordchick,and Swordchick's Mom)

    Idgie:`Mirax here tells me that you're looking for passage to Indianapolis.'

    Swordchick:`If it's a fast car.'

    Idgie:`Fast car!?Dude,I drive like Anakin!'

    Swordchick's Mom:`Who's Anakin?'


    (cut to the interior of another cafe;in front of a large window.)

    ScoobyWanKenobi:`Look,I'm not in this for your election and I'm not in it for you.I expect to be well paid for my vote!'

    TheHuntressDiana:'If money is all that you love,than that is what you will receive...'

    (cut to the toy aisle of Wal-Mart)

    royalguard96:(aside to camera)'Soon the Detroit Fan Force will be under my control'

    DarthPhelps:'What did you say?'

    royalguard96:'Uh,I said that Detroit Fans sure know where to go...to find great toys.'

    (aside to camera):`Whew!That was close!'

    Darth Phelps:'What did you say?'

    royalguard96:'I said that game over the weekend sure was close!'

    (cut to Border's cafe.Same dimly lit table in the corner.Idgiesits alone.Enter Greedo)

    Greedo:`Going somewhere Idgie?'

    Idgie:`Yes Greedo,I was just on my way to see your boss.Tell Lansing Community College that I've got the money.'

    Greedo:`LCC is through with you.They have no time for students who drop classes to go to a Star Wars convention.'

    (cut to a long table,with about twenty people sitting around it.Angry cries of `vote now,vote now' can be heard)

    FearandBullets:(angrily slams fist into table)'Order!'

    (same interior;another angle)

    MiraxTHorn:'I'm afraid that by the time you have control of the fanboys,there will nothing left of our group,of our way of life...'


    (cut to interior of Gameworks)

    Robertyodarugenstein:'Where did you find those AOTC preview figures?'

    royalguard96'Try bleeping Algeria...'


    (same interior,different angle)

    FearandBullets:'Join me,and together we can defeat the Sith!'

    TheHuntressDiana:'Dude,that's like the fifth time you've said that.Why do you keep saying that?'

    FearandBullets:'I dunno,I just think it sounds really cool!'


    (cut to interior of Idgie's car.Idgie is swerving to avoid potholes)

    Idgie:'I'm going to move closer to one of the big potholes.'

    SwordChick and SwordChick's Mom:'Closer?!'


    (cut to interior of MiraxTHorn's house)

    JediKetch:'I cannot condone a course of action which will lead us to war'

    Huttese1138:'Look,it's five against five over which movie to watch,`Empire' or `Jedi'.We just need you to cast the final vote,that's all.Really,it's not a big deal."


    (cut to interior of Border's Cafe.MiraxTHorn is flanked by SwordChick and JediKetch.They are leaving.)

    MiraxTHorn:'It is clear to me now that this FanForce no longer functions.I pray that you will bring sanity and compassion back to the internet...'


    You can watch as the rest of this startling drama unfolds at future meetings of the Detroit FanForce!

    Spring 2002






  7. robertyodarugenstein Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2002
    star 4
    I love what you wrote Idgie. Very original and good reading.
  8. FearAndBullets Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2001
    star 1
    I order you all join me,and together we can defeat the Sith!

    hehehe, *with a Joe Pesci's impersonation*
    Wait ah minute, what are you sayin 'bout me... I'm a charismatic separatist? Are you sayin' I look like Christoper Lee? Are you sayin i'm some old SPOILER **** **** ***** ****** ***** END SPOILER, with a lightsaber here for your amusement?
    *end JP impersonation*

    Oh, ok...
    It must be the goatee...
    good one Idg...
  9. TheHuntressDiana Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2001
    star 4
    Idgie that was great! :cool:

    I laughed so hard I had a coughing fit. That part wasn't good, but you get the idea. ;)
  10. SwordChick Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2001
    star 2
    Lol Idgie, I love it! I'll bring the camera to the next meeting ;)
  11. MiraxTHorn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 22, 2000
    star 4
    OMG, that was too funny!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!
    More, I say, more!

    M.
  12. Idgie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
    Trailer B:


    (Opens with light music.Interior of a large,spacious room.)

    bobafemme:'Confer on this group the level of FanForce the council does,but agree with your taking 'you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy' as a slogan,I do not!'


    (cut to Border's Books interior.Several people are seated around a table)

    ScoobyWanKenobi:'You refer to the prophecy,of the one who will bring balance to the FanForce?'

    DarthPhelps:'Dude,that prophecy was written last week,and in pencil.I wouldn't put much stock in it.'


    (Same interior.Different angle.Huttese1138 enters,sees group of people seated around a table looking at Star Wars magazines)

    Huttese1138:'I have a bad feeling about this...'


    (cut to interior of Idgie's car,as if watching from the backseat)

    Idgie:'We'll have to land somewhere to refuel and repair the ship...'

    SwordChick:'First of all,it's NOT a ship,it's a car.A CAR!Second,if you'd stopped for gas 50 miles ago like I asked you to,we woudn't be in this mess!Ever think to check the gas guage,Mr-I-drive-like-Anakin!?I could have walked faster!'


    (cut to Indianapolis.Interior of convention center,just after daybreak.Two large doors open slowly.Bright sunlight pours in.A silhouette of a person,wearing some kind of cloak can be seen entering through the doors)


    (cut to a living room in MiraxTHorn's house)

    MiraxTHorn:'I've decided to go back to Yahoo.My place is with my people...'

    TheHuntressDiana:'But Mirax,be reasonable,they will force you to look at pop up ads and send you spam...'


    (cut to interior from the first scene)

    bobafemme:'For over a thousand generations,the moderators were the guardians of peace and justice on the internet,before the dark times,before the trolls and fanboys...'


    (cut to interior of Gameworks,by the bar.Two people,ScoobyWanKenobi and TheHuntressDiana are arguing)

    ScoobyWanKenobi:'There's no time to discuss this as a committee!'

    TheHuntressDiana:'Hello!?Group?FanForce?Vote?That's what we do!'


    (same interior,different angle)

    FearandBullets:'Join me and together we can destroy the Sith!'

    Idgie: 'But what ith a Sith?'



    (cut to interior of Idgie's car)

    SwordChick:'This bucket of bolts is never gonna get us past all that construction!'


    (Interior.Target,toy aisle)

    royalguard96:(passes hand in front of employee's face)'You will go back to the stockroom and bring out the AOTC toys'

    Target employee:(unfazed by the demonstration)'What,you think you're some kind of Jedi waving your hand around like that!?I'm a college student,mind tricks won't work on me,only money!No Money,no toys,NO DEAL!'


    (Exterior.Indianapolis Convention Center.A large group of protestors have assembled.They are dressed in 'Star Trek' regalia.They are holding up signs and shouting in unison.They are burning a Jar Jar Binks in effigy)

    Protestors:'Make 'Trek',not 'Wars'!Make 'Trek',not 'Wars'!

    (cut to interior of a hotel room high above.JediKetch is standing in front of a large window,watching the scene below.She is dressed in an ornate black gown similar to one worn by Queen Amidala.She looks concerned and somewhat distressed)

    JediKetch:(doing Haley Joel Osmont impersonation)'I see dumb people'

    (fade out)


    Coming soon

    Spring 2002
  13. TheHuntressDiana Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2001
    star 4
    Dude...Idgie...that's great! :D

    Love it! Love it!


    Now, let's talk about this trailer C... :cool:
  14. FearAndBullets Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2001
    star 1
    Another great one Idg...
    When can we expect trailer c?
    Actually, this is more like a short story.

    ...i'm beginning to see a disturbing trend here.....
  15. Sebulba-X •X C2 C3 MW RSA•

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2000
    star 6
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] These are hilarious...No way in Hades will I allow Trekkies to be protesting C2 in my city though. :mad: ;)
  16. Idgie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
    I'm glad you all liked this stuff,and I'm REALLY glad no one(so far) got offended!:)

    Trailer C? Hmmm,I don't know about that.I'd hate to overdo it,but we'll see.:)
  17. Sebulba-X •X C2 C3 MW RSA•

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2000
    star 6
    I've been on the boards for just over 2 years now, there's no such thing as over doing it here. [face_laugh]
  18. royalguard96 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2001
    star 5
    LOL!! That was absolute classic stuff Idgie!! I just need to find some Target employees who are vulnerable to jedi mind tricks ;)

    I did hear a snippet of trailer C though....it went something like this....

    Mirax: You must use the computer graphics inside FearandBullets to help plan the attack. It's our only hope.

    FearandBullets: chirp chirp beep

    Idgie: The Borders Cafe is ray-shielded, so you'll have to use proton cappucinos.

    The following was a RG.96 SPY report ;)
  19. SwordChick Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2001
    star 2
    Lol Idgie! This stuff is hilarious!!! :) This totaly makes the week I've had alot better. Let's see a trailer C if you're inclined to do so (I bet we can get it on Fox)!
  20. Scooby_Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 22, 2002
    star 4
    That's great stuff Idgie! :D

    but.....

    "You will write trailer C!" (Scooby passes hand in front of Idgie)
    "I will write trailer C." (Idgie with blank look on his face).
    "This is not the end, we want more!!" (Scooby)
    "This is not the end, you'll get more." (Idgie)

    Problem solved. :cool:
  21. Idgie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
    Wow,not only am I critically acclaimed,I also got my first SPY REPORT,and plot speculation!:)

    Now the pressure's on...
  22. jedi_blynnj Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2002
    star 1
    Idgie - I love it!!

    Fans screaming : We want more! We want more!
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    No, really we want more!
  23. Idgie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
    Trailer C

    Fade in

    EVERY SAGA HAS A BEGINNING

    EVERY GROUP HAS A FIRST MEETING

    EVERY FAN FORCE HAS A CAMPOUT


    (cut to the interior of what appears to be a basement.The basement is lit only by a single lightbulb.The sound of water dripping from pipes can be heard.FearandBullets stands beneath the lightbulb.He is addressing a small group.They appear to be nervous and undisciplined.)

    FearandBullets:`The first rule of FanForce is,you do not talk about FanForce.'


    (cut to an aerial shot of downtown Detroit)

    (cut to an exterior shot of a multiplex theater on a grey afternoon)


    (cut to previous basement interior)

    FearandBullets:`The second rule of FanForce is,YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FANFORCE!!'


    (cut to exterior of a long balcony,just after dark.Two shadowy figures, DarthPhelps and Huttese 1138 are walking along the balcony)

    Huttese 1138:`...hard to see the dark side is'

    DarthPhelps:`Really?Hard to see?Gee,you think that might be why it's called the `dark' side?


    (cut to interior of a small office)

    TheHuntressDiana:`Over 20,000!?No one has a post count THAT high,not even Master_Yoduh!'


    (cut to exterior of Toys `r Us.Just before midnight.There is a large crowd of people and several are dressed in Star Wars costumes. Robertyodarugenstein,dressed in a Jedi Knight costume,waits at the front of the line.He is sitting in a meditative crouch,in front of two large doors,waiting for them to open)

    (same exterior,different angle.Just inside the doors is a Toys r` Us employee.He is wearing Darth Maul make up,and is carrying a toy lightsaber.He checks his watch,eyes Robertyodarugenstein eerily and taps one end of the lightsaber against the doors)



    (cut to exterior.The outside of the AMC 30 Theater.It is early afternoon on a grey day.There is trash around the building and lingering smoke from recently extinguished campfires.Two people,MiraxTHorn and DarthPhelps approach the building)

    MiraxTHorn:`It looks like there was a campout here alright.Look, there's empty pop cans,food wrappers,Star Wars Monopoly money.I've just never heard of them camping out at a place this big before!'

    DarthPhelps:`They didn't,though we are meant to think they did.These pop cans are highly collectible,no one would just leave them lying around,and these footprints are side by side,Star Wars fans always line up single file,so as not to lose their place in line!'


    (cut to exterior.A handicap service ramp outside of the Indianapolis Convention Center.ScoobyWanKenobi,wearing a Darth Vader costume,appears to be weak and is having difficulty walking by himself.He is being helped along by his son.The boy helps his father to the top of the ramp,where he collapses under their combined weight)

    ScoobyWanKenobi:`Son,help me take this mask off.'

    ScrappyWanKenobi:`So you can look at me with your own eyes?'

    ScoobyWanKenobi:`No,because I've been wearing this bleeping mask for 15 bleeping hours!It's hot as hell in here,I can't see a thing,and I'm bleeping suffocating!'


    (cut to interior of Toys `r Us.Just after midnight.At the end of a long aisle, stands royalguard96,holding a toy lightsaber in one hand with a look of terror on his face)

    royalguard96:`Noooooooooo!!!!!'


    (cut to exterior,along I-96.There is a very large pothole,filled with water.Idgie's car is submerged in the water,only the back end of the car is still visible.Camera pans over.Standing beside the pothole are Idgie,SwordChick,andSwordChick's Mom.SwordChick reaches up and smacks Idgie on the back of the head)

    (cut to interior of Border's Books.Several people are sitting around a table watching and listening to a hologram of DesignSith)

    DesignSith`...you must see this logo information delivered safely to Detroit.FearandBullets will know how to retrieve it.He
  24. SwordChick Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2001
    star 2
    Hehehe! Another quality trailer Idgie! Btw, My mom loves them too - she said she's going to legally change her name to "SwordChick's Mom."
  25. robertyodarugenstein Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2002
    star 4
    Another good one. I'm Laugh so hard. Keep them comming Idgie.
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