Saga Our Honored Dead 1 yr post-TPM. *Ch 4* posted 0617. Obi, Ani, Padme. Banter, Serious both.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Valairy Scot, May 27, 2008.

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  1. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

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    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    Title: Our Honored Dead
    Author: Valairy_Scot
    Timeframe: one year post-TPM
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker
    Genre: short story
    Summary: It is one year since Naboo was freed from occupation. It is a time to remember, and to honor those who sacrificed their very lives.
    Note: Written in honor of Memorial Day (U.S. holiday, of course). Dedicated to the innocent bystanders of conflict, for while a "just cause" is defined by each side, there are always those who are caught up in events not of their choosing.

    Second note: My intent was - well, either a one-shot or a short story - but it took on a dimension of its own. A serious study and reflection - is no longer. It has become a short story with a solemn occasion as the catalyst for the story.

    It even went slapstick in one chapter which horrified me. I may have to rework that banished chapter into a double-entrendre slapstick skirting-the-guidelines humor viggie, and if I do post it, I may just have to do so anonymously so I don't have to hide my head in shame (says The Sith Stops Here author with an equally horrific chapter 3 not posted because - everyone will know it's me. The banished chapter is possibly Benny Hill meets Monty Python meets risque friends I-am-never-going-to-post-that-chapter-under-my-name-chapter - and I don't even know much about Benny Hill or Monty Python to make that claim).


    Our Honored Dead



    Naboo was, he had to admit, a beautiful planet. Soft clouds tantalized with glimpses of verdant green as the ship broke orbit and angled down to the designated landing spot. The capital came into sight ? the broad boulevards and ribbons of silver water interlaced ? the magnificent palace he had wandered alone in his grief.

    He had never meant to return, but here he was once more, one more being with one more piece of grief to add to the grief of the thousands he would face tomorrow.

    Obi-Wan?s hands tightened just a little on the control yoke of the small interplanetary craft and he glanced over at the almost-bouncing boy who had leaned so far forward in his seat that his nose smudged the windshield. He needn?t have worried; his padawan?s focus was out there, seeking the presence of another and oblivious to his master beside him.

    ?Anakin, strap in, we?re landing shortly.? A slim hand gently urged his padawan back into his seat. That got the boy?s attention. Pleading eyes looked at him.

    ?May I land, Master? May I??

    Inwardly shuddering at the thought of an anxious boy barreling towards the landing pad -and Obi-Wan hurtling along with him - the young man merely said softly, ?This planet does not need to witness another tragedy, my padawan.?

    ?Master!? The boy?s eyes reflected his hurt at the statement, but Obi-Wan continued on as if he had not been interrupted, ?And it would be a tragedy if I should stagger out of this ship and promptly throw up in the midst of our welcome.?

    What he saw as a possible tragedy was apparently a source of amusement to the boy at his side.

    ?Yeah, my landings make you just as green as Master Yoda.? Anakin giggled and after a moment, Obi-Wan grinned as well. He could see the humor in the situation after all, from his padawan?s viewpoint. From the viewpoint of their welcoming committee, now - .

    A low chuckle escaped him. Never in the annals of recorded Jedi history had a Jedi sprawled on the ground before a head of state during a formal welcome.

    ?I would hate to tarnish Master Yoda?s reputation, and a green Jedi low to the ground, bent over on hands and knees, might be mistaken in the first few seconds for our esteemed master. Not to mention I have no desire to have my ankle get reacquainted with his gimer stick.?

    ?He hits Jedi? I won?t let him hit you, Master.? Anakin was all indignation now, and belatedly Obi-Wan remembered that Anakin had not grown up with either those jokes or little taps.

    He tousled the boy?s hair. ?A joke, Padawan. I tug your braid, he taps ankles.?

    ?
  2. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Simply stunning! I love the banter between Anakin and Obi-Wan. And Obi-Wan is spot on!

    PLEASE put me on the PM list for this one.

    ?May I land, Master? May I??

    Inwardly shuddering at the thought of an anxious boy barreling towards the landing pad -and Obi-Wan hurtling along with him - the young man merely said softly, ?This planet does not need to witness another tragedy, my padawan.?

    ?Master!? The boy?s eyes reflected his hurt at the statement, but Obi-Wan continued on as if he had not been interrupted, ?And it would be a tragedy if I should stagger out of this ship and promptly throw up in the midst of our welcome.?

    What he saw as a possible tragedy was apparently a source of amusement to the boy at his side.


    [face_laugh] =D=
  3. jedidas3 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    Wonderfully done! =D= I love it when one shots take on a life of their own. Please PM me when you do update. In case I haven't asked before, PM for anything you write! [face_praying]
  4. dianethx Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I really liked the banter between Obi-Wan and Anakin. Plus Obi telling Anakin that it was a mission and not a visit to his friend, Padme.

    And suddenly there was no place Obi-Wan Kenobi would rather be, than dedicating the following day to those who had fallen and those who had lived to rebuild.

    The dead lived on, in those who were left behind.


    Very well put.

    Please put me on your PM list for this.
  5. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    That was a wonderful beginning.

    It seems so fitting for Obi-Wan and Anakin to return a year after the invasion to honor those who lost their lives.

    I loved the banter between Obi and Ani during the flight.

    Please PM me when you update

    looking forward to more

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  6. Gkilkenny Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    You honour them well.O:)

    I think they will remember the good times as well as the bad.:)

    very nicely written.=D=
  7. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Lovely and just hoping to see what the ceremony will bring.

    Please continue this and a PM.

    Loved the Anakin Obi-Wan banter and just like Anakin to get a green master when flying.
  8. charie Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2
    Wonderful! I like how you show Obi-wan's train of thought in how he responds to Anakin. It shows his uncertainty as a master. They also seem very close and I too LOVE Obi/Ani banter.[face_laugh] [:D] PM please.as you are well known for your stories to not usually be short. Lucky for us readers![face_love]
  9. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

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    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    VaderLVR64: For what was meant to be a serious piece ? it turned into banter and humor. I?m trying to yank it back to a less irreverent direction - I'd understand it, but many folks would be offended with the mix. This is not meant to be a dark humor piece.

    Jedidas3: The way this story was going, it had to be viggie (it could stand as it is, like that) or at least 2-3 chapters, because banter and the actual ceremony didn?t seem to belong in the same chapter.

    Dianethx: I just can?t write those together without either banter or an argument.

    Kelia: Thank you. Banter comes easily to me, as to them.

    Gkilkenny: Thanks. Yes, there will be memories, but they?ve lost the sharp bite. Naboo is painful memories, yet it was a time of beginnings and fresh starts as well.

    Earlybird-obi-wan: Green masters, yes, but no cold hands Miss Ice. I might decide to have the speeches ?behind the curtains? as it were, for reasons that will become clear.

    Charie: Obi and Ani are close at this time. Shared tragedies, shared beginnings and not enough time to Palps to poison their relationship. I doubt this story will be too many chapters ? 4 right now, but I?m trying to work in some ?action? for Obi which might add 1 to 2 chapters.
  10. PadawanKitara Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I like the combination of banter and concern all tied into one story. Add me to the PM list please.
  11. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

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    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    PadawanKitara: I like the combination of banter and concern all tied into one story. I like to write stories with a mix of emotions; this one almost had solemn ceremonial occasion with slapstick. It won't. Got'cha on the PM list.



    Chapter Two. Old Friends.



    Even a Jedi could be forgiven the falter in his steps as Naboo again filled his senses.

    The air was warm, almost hot, and aromatic with the spice that was almost a taste of wine against the tongue. In soft counterpoint, the delicate scent of pansea and jurnassi in full bloom sometimes triumphed over more intense aromas when a wisp of wind wafted its perfume instead. Water vapor from the mighty falls occasionally reached misty fingers here, this high above the vast pool below and coalesced into shapes ? Qui-Gon! he almost gasped at one ?before the shapes swirled away into nothing.

    Memories whispered against Obi-Wan?s mind, of tragedy and triumph, of danger and danger surmounted. Cheery baskets full of multi-hued blooms softened the prevalent stone of the plaza and surrounding buildings, proud banners of life adorning the stone facades rather than the more common flags seen elsewhere. Ripe Mylori?i vine fruit again tickled at his nostrils as it had when creeping through the then silent streets, not yet knowing what lay ahead.

    Sneaking up stairs and along walkways, every sense alert to the Force as the sense of wrongness swelled ? armed droids escorting the Queen and her entourage to a prison-of-war camp ? the quick fight ? the escape into space ? it was all as fresh as if yesterday.

    Sneaking through silent streets and into the Royal Hangar ? the chill of impending confrontation ? the battle and the blade ? the blade, oh the blade that pierced two hearts that day - swallowing against the memories, Obi-Wan firmly planted himself in the here and now, and led Anakin down the ramp, to stand once more on Naboo.

    Had they turned back into their ship, they may have turned back time by a year, for those who had seen them off now stood to greet them.

    Dressed in formal regalia, the Queen stood flanked by her advisors, handmaidens and a contingent of Gungans. Obi-Wan almost smiled as his eyes caught sight of a squirming Jar Jar Binks, forcibly restrained in place by the firm hand of Boss Nass.

    Ever excitable, a child in an adult?s body, the Gungan had proven to be a valuable ally a year ago and despite his irritating eagerness he even was, Obi-Wan had to admit, quite tolerable in limited doses ? limited, for even a Jedi?s infinite patience did not quite stretch to infinity in Bink?s presence. Qui-Gon had admitted as much to him, once upon a time.

    The elaborate headdress and formal layers of make up, not to mention the heavy, stiff dress had to be extremely uncomfortable in the heat, but no hint of discomfort was visible in the Queen?s demeanor. ?The Queen? was a public persona, a façade for the masses, a formal presence that masked the being inside, not unlike a Jedi in public.

    ?Welcome to Naboo, Master Jedi.? The voice was as formal as the gloved hand held out, fingers bent to accept Obi-Wan?s fingers in return; the traditional finger clasp of protocol.

    ?We are honored, milady, at your invitation.?

    Fingers lightly touching, Obi-Wan bowed over the hand. A smile touched Queen Amidala?s eyes as they passed over Obi-Wan to the boy at his side, urged to bow as well by his master?s hand on his back.

    ?We are honored that the Jedi Order chose to accept our invitation to observe our day of recognition and reconciliation ? and that it chose to send two of its best as its representatives.?

    At his side, Anakin bounced on his toes, beaming at the words. Obi-Wan merely dipped his head as protocol required. Focus, padawan, polite words they are, but not ? necessarily - the truth. In some years, perhaps. A mental wink accompanied the thought.

    Anakin stilled, but the Force equivalent of an incredulous snort came back through the bond. For lack of a proper foundation th
  12. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Wonderful! I love your portrayal of both Obi-Wan and Anakin. [face_love]

    Anakin stilled, but the Force equivalent of an incredulous snort came back through the bond. For lack of a proper foundation the boy was overall at early initiate level, but once the basics of a particular skill had been mastered, the boy?s abilities at that skill far outstripped his age mates. Building that foundation was Obi-Wan?s task, as well as that of the other teaching masters, and it had proven to be no easy task for any of them.

    It had also come at a personal cost, though a cost Obi-Wan had willingly accepted. The new knight had not had time to be a knight, to learn to lead rather than to follow. This ceremonial mission was not just Anakin?s first mission; it was also Obi-Wan?s first mission in a year; the first without Qui-Gon in that lead position.


    Lovely! =D=
  13. jedidas3 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    Wonderful job! =D= Of course, I knew it would be! :D The relationship that you are establishing between the two is wonderful! Can't wait for more!
  14. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Loved the interaction between Obi-Wan and Anakin. Showing they are human first and with emotions.

    And Obi-Wan appreciating Jar Jar great.=D=
  15. dianethx Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I thought you did a great job on the training of young Anakin. Obi-Wan has indeed learned how to deal with temper tantrums and the guilt trips young kids often lay at their parent's feet. I'm glad he's using laughter to soften their relationship.

    Wonderful.
  16. nada_smith Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2006
    star 1
    Hi. I've been reading the stories here for awhile, but I've been too shy to post anything. I've enjoyed some of your other stories, and I decided I finally had to tell you how much I love this story and especially this last chapter!

    To me you've achieved the perfect balance of affection and discipline/learning, of uncertainty and acceptance in Obi-Wan and Anakin's early relationship.

    Also the initial description of Naboo and how it affects Obi-Wan's senses and stirs his memories was wonderful. I love to read about relationships and interaction and sometimes find myself skimming descriptive passages. This passage really caught my attention and drew me in though. I loved the bit about the air being "almost a taste of wine against the tongue."

    So thanks for sharing this story with us! Now maybe I'll get up the courage to post again sometime.

    ~nada~
  17. charie Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2
    Well done, as usual. It is interesting to see how Obi-wan deals with Anakin in the begining. Did you say something about "action"?[face_dancing] Bring it on Val, I can't wait to see where this is going!=D=
  18. Bastet Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Aww, I just read both your chapters, and I'm already enjoying it very much! [face_love]

    As others have said, I also really love Obi-Wan's and Anakin's relationship in this story. [face_love] I loved the flashbacks that showed how that relationship has grown over the past year.

    ?I do?? He let surprise bleed into his voice. ?Hmm, why then am I sitting here ? tickling you?? He pounced. Anakin giggled and squirmed underneath him, all signs of the tantrum gone with his laughter.

    ?Master, stop. Stop, Master.? With a pretend grunt of surprise, Obi-Wan let his padawan push him off the bed and attack him in return. The physical exertion always washed the boy?s frustration away.

    He enjoyed the brief tussle as much as Anakin did, and he had to admit, the boy?s fierce hug that always followed. With that hug, all was right again in his padawan?s world ? and thus in his own, as well.
    [face_love] Awww!

    Please add me to the PM list for this one as well! [face_batting] :D
  19. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    As yet there had been no trial; no public acknowledgement that what happened on Naboo a year ago was illegal or that the tragedy of Naboo was not an accusation but a reality.

    And that in itself is a tragedy.

    :_| :_| :_| :_|

    I loved Obi and Ani's interaction throughout the update. You captured them both perfectly.

    Great update

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  20. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    VaderLVR64: Thank you, but I know you ? you just love Obi & Ani.

    Jedidas3: I love their early relationship where you can see the traits that led to Darth Vader, but could easily have been trained or tamed except for the meddling of that Siduous.

    Earlybird-obi-wan: Obi-Wan ?tolerates? Jar Jar in small doses. He?s learning to see beyond the obvious, but not even a Jedi can enjoy the company of all beings at all times.

    Dianethx: Gee, is that how someone should deal with tantrums? Does it work on Siamese cats, too?
    This is ?Get Away from the Lasagna.? [image=http://www.mtnlover.smugmug.com/photos/2537328_kB2SY-S.jpg]

    Nada_Smith: I've been too shy to post anything. 8-} Don?t be shy, I don?t bite[face_liarliar], nor does anyone else here on the boards (except certain Siths).

    I've enjoyed some of your other stories, and I decided I finally had to tell you how much I love this story and especially this last chapter!
    To me you've achieved the perfect balance of affection and discipline/learning, of uncertainty and acceptance in Obi-Wan and Anakin's early relationship.


    Thank you so much - you made my day! [face_blush]

    Charie: I did say something about action, but that particular plot detail is not coming. Anyone want to suggest something? Behind the scenes Obi saves the day from __?

    Bastet: I loved the flashbacks that showed how that relationship has grown over the past year. Watching the early years is like planting seeds and watching them grow ? it?s fun to watch vicariously. Just like seedings, the future is full of promise.

    Kelia: The machinery of justice runs slowly ? especially when a Sith lord is able to manipulate so many. Better slow justice than none, and better than hurried justice that is anything but.

    I loved Obi and Ani's interaction throughout the update. You captured them both perfectly.[face_blush] (Wait til chapter 5.)

    Thanks. There?s such an innocence, I think, in those early years, as the two try hard to be what the other needs. They haven?t yet become bogged down in the ?same old, same old? yet. Obi?s delighted with the young fresh perspective and not yet ?tired? of dealing with Anakin?s less than enthusiastic embrace of the Jedi life. Anakin is still trying to play on Obi-Wan?s gentle nature and attempt to be the best master he can, but with a childish innocence still. The patterns of their future interactions are being laid, but not yet cast in stone.
  21. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

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    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    Chapter Three. Weeping Endures for a Night; Joy Cometh in the Morning


    With a silent sigh of relief, Obi-Wan noticed that the suite given to them was about as far away as possible from the suite given to the Jedi just a year before. He had not slept - truly slept -one night there; the day of their arrival had been the beginning of three all but sleepless nights.

    Only Qui-Gon had slept there, in eternal sleep. The healers, unable to practice their craft, had silently brought the body there, and there Obi-Wan had done his duty to the dead. He had gently cleansed the cold flesh and dressed the body in clean tunics and leggings.

    What remained of Qui-Gon had seemed so much less, the mortal body no longer filled by the larger than life soul of his master, bearing its own silent testimony to the truth that the luminous being inside was the true being. It was not his master at whose side he had kept vigil that night, but it had been the shell he wore when alive in this galaxy and it had been the face of the man who had raised him.

    It was the loss of that tangible reminder of his mentor that had hurt the most; the emptiness within that shell had mirrored the emptiness within himself, that cold and empty void where once a living and vibrant bond had warmed a corner of his mind.

    Seeking admittance into that void had scraped and clamored all the aches and pains of a still living body ? the sharp biting pain of a severed bond, broken ends sparking like broken wires, the alternately dull yet stabbing pain in his heart, and the more easily ignored aches and pains of a body fresh from a bruising fight.

    Secure in his knowledge that the Jedi Council would come and take charge, that the young boy that Qui-Gon had championed was safe in the keeping of the Naboo, that Naboo was now secure and all that could be done had been done, the grieving padawan had shut himself in that first night to bear his lonely vigil, fingers twined with the limp and cooling hand that would never again brush his cheek or tug at his braid.

    There he had cried his tears, and there he had dried them himself, for there was none to dry them for him. There was nothing for him for everything he cared about lay silent and still, soon to be consumed by the flames.

    He had not been the only one to mourn, that night or the next. All of Naboo mourned, for those imprisoned and those killed fighting to reclaim their planet.

    When he had finally slept, he had slept on his knees at the side of the bed, grasping onto the last, faint traces of the man he loved above all others, a lock of his long hair clasped in his fist just as the tail of his own braid lay pressed into Qui-Gon?s palm, the intermingled grey-brown and red-brown still fused as one.

    Come the morning he had wiped away all signs of his vigil, risen from stiff knees and dressed in tunics that still bore signs of the dying man he had held in his arms, and stiffly gone forth to see what assistance he could offer to those in need. The dead could not be helped; they were in the hands of the Force, but in his hands he had the Force to help those alive, those not yet dead even should they be dying.

    With the Force as his eager ally, he had severed barricades and erected shelters. He had searched for healers in the midst of crowds and helped them to identify and triage those in need of healers help.

    He had walked among the sick and the injured, the shell-shocked and the silent, offering hope, food and a friendly touch, until the grief of a Jedi padawan and the grief of Naboo became simply shared grief and shared purpose.

    Most important of all, he had become a witness. What he saw and what he heard would become evidence.

    As he had worked tirelessly those few days before the Council?s arrival, he could feel Qui-Gon walking at his side. When he was about to collapse, Qui-Gon gave him the strength to remain on his feet and move forward to help one in greater need. When he returned at night, exhausted, Qui-Gon was at his shoulder.

    Early in the morning of the
  22. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Leave it to Anakin to ask if he can kiss already! [face_laugh] This part just about broke my heart!

    When he had finally slept, he had slept on his knees at the side of the bed, grasping onto the last, faint traces of the man he loved above all others, a lock of his long hair clasped in his fist just as the tail of his own braid lay pressed into Qui-Gon?s palm, the intermingled grey-brown and red-brown still fused as one.

    Come the morning he had wiped away all signs of his vigil, risen from stiff knees and dressed in tunics that still bore signs of the dying man he had held in his arms, and stiffly gone forth to see what assistance he could offer to those in need. The dead could not be helped; they were in the hands of the Force, but in his hands he had the Force to help those alive, those not yet dead even should they be dying.

    With the Force as his eager ally, he had severed barricades and erected shelters. He had searched for healers in the midst of crowds and helped them to identify and triage those in need of healers help.

    He had walked among the sick and the injured, the shell-shocked and the silent, offering hope, food and a friendly touch, until the grief of a Jedi padawan and the grief of Naboo became simply shared grief and shared purpose.

    Most important of all, he had become a witness. What he saw and what he heard would become evidence.


    :_|

    And I think this story is perfect just the way it is. =D= =D=
  23. charie Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2
    There is so much I love about this chapter, I don't know where to start. You made me FEEL so much with the characters. Thats what I love most about your beautiful writing. I'm not very good at expressing myself. I just know your writing makes me feel good. As for "action", I would not be one to ask. There are so many talented writers on this site,I'm sure one of them will come up with something if you don't.Thanks again for sharing.=D= [face_love]
  24. jedidas3 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    Beautifully done, my dear friend. =D= The scenes between Obi and Ani were absolutely heartwrenching! ONce again, your incredible talent shines through! [:D]
  25. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Lovely Yoda calling Obi-Wan little one
    That entire conversation between Yoda and Obi-Wan just so describing their relation and what is coming.

    And Anakin: leave it to him to ask about kissing. A boy but already in love with Padme.

    Superb update
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