Saga Out of Mind--Obi-Wan post-TPM grieving angst--Vignette 57

The entire thing seemed to be vaguely illegal. After all, Obi-Wan had spent nearly his entire life as a Jedi and was not accustomed to matters of deceit and the 'little white lies' that every child had the privilege of employing. When you tried to tell a little white lie around Master Yoda, he would see straight through your shields and then cripple you for trying to lie to him. Qui-Gon tended to simply stare at you in obvious disappointment until you wanted to confess every minor indiscretion that you had ever committed, including the incident with the gundark on your sixteenth birthday. Qui-Gon's first apprentice, the intrepid Lien Tama of too many years and too many Padawans of her own, tended to just smirk until you told her what was really on your mind.

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your perspective, Lien was in the Outer Rim on a negotiation assignment, Yoda had other things on his mind and Qui-Gon had been left on a funeral pyre sixteen days ago.

Anakin hadn't asked where his Master was going to go that day--it seemed to be implied that he would sit around, fluffing pillows and making up stupid rules while his Padawan was in class--but Obi-Wan had felt a kind of irrational fear that Anakin would want to know.

Perhaps the boy would understand. After all, they were both troubled by the loss of Qui-Gon and the strange relationship that was forced on them both by duty and the Council. Perhaps he would have been relieved that his Master was mortal and willing to admit to weakness.

Or, perhaps, he might blame himself. There was no way of telling.

Obi-Wan had been a nine-year-old boy once, but he had been what Qui-Gon kindly referred to as a ?particularly peculiar whelp.? He had been more docile than most and while he had managed his fair share of trouble, his emotional outbursts tended to be reserved for vehement disagreements.

Anakin, on the other hand, had grown up in an environment that was abhorrent to anyone with an intelligence quotient rating in the triple digits. While his mother had apparently done a credibly admirable job of counteracting the brutalities of slavery by giving him what creative outlets that she could, he knew two truths that did not fit in well with Jedi philosophy.

The first of these was that all emotion should be given free range and expressed in order for society to function as it should.

The second was that any person who discouraged overt emotional displays was a slave driver in a literal sense.

Obi-Wan could certainly understand the need for emotional honesty, since it was essential to be attuned to the inward self when seeking the will of the Force. Emotional outbursts, however, were a sign of a Padawan prone to irrational thought or impulsive actions. It was the sort of thing that the Council had feared in accepting a potential Jedi who had nearly a decade of emotional rules to unlearn.

Moreover, the idea of his Master as someone who was no better than a slaver was both insulting and distressing, but more importantly, it was a powerful preventative in fostering a good Master-Padawan relationship. Obi-Wan could hardly blame Anakin for thinking of things in such black and white terms?it probably had kept him from keeping undesirable company in the dangerous streets of Mos Espa?but it was certainly cause for concern.

Nevertheless, he was hardly eager to place the burden on his Padawan?s narrow shoulders and this was the primary reason that he had not spoken of the day?s plans to Anakin this morning. It was a simple matter of wanting to keep the concern to himself until he had a better handle on what was causing his distress.

The mind-healers? cloister was one of the most secluded areas of the Temple, since they preferred to isolate those who sought them out from external pressures, but the difficulty lay in the fact that arriving there required him to pass by most of the training halls and the refectory. He had chosen to request the appointment during a time when Anakin should be thoroughly occupied with his history l

 

You know, a lot of people overlook Obi-Wan's position in the prequels. And he really did try his best in raising Anakin.

Excellent, Ish. Loved the healer and her method of getting to the heart of the matter.

 

Second time his hands have been brought up in connection with their strength and the training he has had

It was beautiful, and I liked the mind healer, as she was so real, matter of fact, getting to the point. If only we were that lucky with therapists in general!
Great job!

 

I think Obi-Wan was a lot more of a father figure than Anakin would be willing to admit, which is a lot of why he resented it, having been snatched from his mother. Glad you liked the healer.

Yup, I like the hands thing. The healer was based on my other Nedra, who is a family therapist. THanks.

 

Glad you liked the development of his Qui-Gon mentality. Thanks for reading.