Before Out of the ordinary (Obi-Wan's genes contain a tragic secret...can the Jedi save him?) Updated 9/26

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by JOINME, Sep 4, 2005.

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  1. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4
    Title: Out of the Ordinary
    Author: JOINME
    Time frame: Obi-Wan is fifteen
    Genre: drama/short story
    Description: Obi-Wan's genes contain a tragic secret, can the Jedi save him?

    Note: I had recently been reading some wonderful stories posted for the Disabilities challenge. Then I read a number of stories where Obi-Wan dies. Hmmm... [face_devil]




    Chapter One
    "Life often goes on in an ordinary and expected manner, like the rhythmic droning of insects near a pond edge. But it takes one small occurence, like the jumping of a frog into the pond, to completely break the repetition of the ordinary. In a single instance, everything may change. The Force truly works in mysterious ways."
    The words of ancient Jedi Master Kraneus.



    'I won Obi-Wan just admit it.'

    Thirteen year old Siri Tachi did a little dance of glee as she smirked at her combatant in the Padawan Fun exercises of the day. Every once a year, the Jedi Masters held a series of competitions for the Padawans to demonstrate their techniques and have some fun. Siri had been paired with Obi-Wan Kenobi in one competition, and she had won, much to her delight.

    'It doesn't bother me that you won, Siri,' Fifteen year old Obi-Wan said calmly as he deactivated his lightsaber and clipped it back onto his belt. He reached for his robe. 'Besides, the point of the exercise is not to win. It is to better our skills and sharpen our awareness.'

    Siri looked at him incredulously, as she wiped her sweaty forehead with a cloth.
    'You've got to be kidding me,' she said, although she could never tell with Obi-Wan. 'These are the Fun exercises Kenobi. Emphasis on the word fun. Do you even know what that means?'

    She grinned and Obi-Wan gave her an innocent look as they headed out of the chambers. 'Fun is bettering our skills and sharpening our awareness remember?' he said mock seriously.

    Siri rolled her eyes and lightly punched him on the arm.
    'Whatever. Where are you going anyway?'

    'Back to the apartment. I think I'll take a shower.'

    'But what about the food?' Siri protested. 'Do you know this is the one day we actually get good food?'

    Obi-Wan grinned. 'I do. I won't be long. I'll meet you there, alright? Save me some.'

    Siri nodded, another smirk on her face. 'I should have known that perfect little Padawan Kenobi has to change into another immaculate looking tunic and robe before eating.'

    Obi-Wan blushed, despite himself. 'Is it so bad to want to look clean?'

    Siri just laughed. 'Don't take too long.'



    Obi-Wan smiled slightly as he slung his towel neatly over the hanger in the refresher, and finished combing his hair. He smoothed down the front of his fresh tunic, adjusting his belt neatly as he did so.
    [There is nothing wrong with wanting to look neat] he reminded himself. [After all, a Jedi is supposed to look presentable at all times]

    //You will certainly make a wise Master, Obi-Wan,' came the slightly amused thought of Qui-Gon Jinn through their bond.

    Obi-Wan dropped his comb in surprise and embarrassment.

    //Master?//

    //I'm in the common room Padawan. I had to leave Master Yoda's seminar before he started serving out his famous stew. You know the one.//

    Obi-Wan laughed. He put his comb away in the cupboard then exited the fresher.

    Qui-Gon was sitting at the table with data pads strewn around him, a steaming cup of tea in his hands. His eyes twinkled when they met Obi-Wan's. 'You're missing the food.'

    Obi-Wan put his lightsaber down on the couch. 'They're only getting started,' he said as he went to the refrigerator to get a drink. 'Besides, I've never really liked this day.'

    Qui-Gon chuckled. 'You need to loosen up Padawan,' he said seriously. 'All work and no soul, would make Yoda a dull troll.'

    Qui-Gon watched merrily as Obi-Wan choked on his drink.

    'Master,' he sputtered. 'I can't believe I just heard that coming from you!'

    Qui-Gon looked at him innocently. ?Heard what?? he said, winking as he sipped at his tea. ?Act/>/>
  2. DarthQuellonis Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2005
    star 4
  3. -Darksaber- Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2005
    star 3
    This is going to be brilliant, I know. More soon, please.

    -DS
  4. Stella_Ripple Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2005
    star 3
    Wow! Great start! Update soon?
  5. SiriKenobi12 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2004
    star 3
    Ok, you can't keep us waiting with a cliff hanger like that...oh poor Obi Wan....I can't wait to see what happens.
  6. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    No Obi!!!! :eek: :eek: That was such a cliffy!!!

    Poor Obi :( :(

    I loved the interaction between Obi and Siri, they're so cute together! :p

    Great story!!! I love it =D= Excellent twist too, you said above it's a gene he inherited, right? This is going to be an awesome story :D

    Please don't leave us hanging for too long! :D Can't wait for your update ;)
  7. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

    You aren't going to kill him, are you?

    The story started out so very lovely, with good-natured and banter and cheerful Jedi--but it just couldn't last.

    I'm looking forward to reading more! I like the way you write Qui and Obi.
  8. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Incredible start! You MUST post more soon! And that's an order! ;) Loving this so far! =D=
  9. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    One post and I'm hooked already...nice job =D= =D= =D= =D=

  10. Renton Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 24, 2000
    star 4
    Gah! Alexis you evil evil girl!

    God I know why I love you now! [face_devil] =D=

    Can't wait to read more!
  11. LilQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 2
    :eek: And you had to stop there. You are so EVIL!!! [face_devil] I demand an update! (Please? [face_batting] )
  12. stormqueen874 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2005
    star 4
    *dances from foot to foot impatiently* Oh, heavens, no! Obi-Wan can't feel his legs? Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! This is not good at all! You have got to update, JOINME! I have to know what happens!

    Stormqueen
  13. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1
    yay! I actully found a good story that i'm caught up to!! Yay again!! This is a really great story, i love when obi's in pain. * laughs evily*. Update!!! I need another postie!!





  14. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Oh dear, poor Obi-Wan! (I say that a lot around here, I must say ;)) Anyway, I love how you're writing Qui and Obi, the banter between them and their caring relationship.
    But I need more soon, cliffhangers are evil!!! (But they're fun too, aren't they? [face_devil])
  15. Ani-maniac Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2005
    star 4
    *adjusts her Sith robes and laughs evily* [face_laugh]

    So, Obi-Wan can't feel his legs... [face_mischief] And you mentioned Obi death... :D

    You will truly be a wonderful Sith. *bows*

    Welcome to our ranks! ;)

    As always, this was wonderfully written! Obi-Wan suddenly colapsing is deffinitely a great start. :D

    Could you please PM when you update?

    Thank you! [:D]

    Ani-maniac
  16. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    I dont like the sound of that statement[face_worried]

    Then I read a number of stories where Obi-Wan dies. Hmmm...

    OH NO you are not going to kill Obi. Are You[face_shame_on_you]

    I loved the interaction between Obi and Qui and they were actually going to go to the FUN day together.
    Until Obi collapses.
    Whats wrong with him is he paralysed!!!

    More Soon Please
  17. Star_Drifter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2005
    star 3
    Qui-Gon chuckled. 'You need to loosen up Padawan,' he said seriously. 'All work and no soul, would make Yoda a dull troll.'

    Qui-Gon watched merrily as Obi-Wan choked on his drink.

    'Master,' he sputtered. 'I can't believe I just heard that coming from you!'

    Qui-Gon looked at him innocently. [face_batting] ?Heard what?? he said, winking as he sipped at his tea.


    I love the humor! [face_laugh]

    :eek: Then Obi can't feel his legs! :eek: Poor Obi! [face_liarliar]

    Okay, I admit it. I really love the angst! :D :D :D

    Wonderful start, Joinme! You are tuning into a fantastic Sith-ling! :D

    More, more, more, please! [face_batting]

    Darth Mom :cool:

  18. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4

    Wow everyone, thanks so much for reading and replying! I'm so pleasantly surprised! You guys rock. :)[:D]



    Darth Quellonis: Thanks. =) I'm very much enjoying your KOTOR story by the way! [face_dancing]

    Darksaber: aw, thank you. :)I will have more soon hopefully.

    Stella_Ripple: Thanks Stella! =) Glad you like it so far. [:D]

    SiriKenobi12: lol, sorry about the cliffie, I know how evil they can be. ;) Thankies for reading! =)

    lost_jedii: thanks so much Ally! [:D] You are too kind. =)
    you said above it's a gene he inherited, right? Yep.
    Please don't leave us hanging for too long! I will try not to. Anything to keep my lovely readers happy! [face_love]

    maychorian: aw, thanks may. =) You aren't going to kill him, are you? [face_whistling] [face_mischief]

    VaderLVR64: I'm so humbled. [face_blush] [:D] Glad you're enjoying! *hurries to comply with order lest she be at the receiving end of a Force choke...* well your name is kinda scary. :D

    KELIA: thank you! glad you're enjoying! =)

    Renton Kenobi: Ha ha! Thanks Rent. :D [:D] so did you have a good time with your Obi clone? You seemed pretty intoxicated when you left, I trust the evening went well? [face_mischief]

    LilQui-Gon: well, I'm glad to know you enjoyed it. :) I promise to update soon as I can. [:D]

    stormqueen874: glad you're enjoying! =) I will make sure you know what happens soon as possible. :)

    Force-sensitiveLyn23: Thanks! [face_love] i love when obi's in pain. LOL! [face_mischief]

    Bastet: aw, thanks. =) poor Obi-Wan! (I say that a lot around here, I must say [face_laugh] How we love to torture the poor dear! [face_mischief] glad you're enjoying! and I'm sorry about the evil cliffie, but it had to stop there. :D I'll hopefully post the next chapter some time soon though.

    Ani-maniac: Thanks Tiffany! [:D] And you mentioned Obi death... lol, how did I know that prospect would please you? [face_mischief] Welcome to our ranks! I am honoured to be sure. *bows* [face_blush] I'll remember to PM you. :)

    Gkilkenny: Thanks Geri! =) I'm glad you're enjoying it. OH NO you are not going to kill Obi. Are You
    [face_whistling] now I can't reveal that can I? [face_devil]

    star_drifter: Thanks Darth Mom! [:D] =) I'm happy that you're enjoying it. So I'm a Sith-ling eh? o_O LOL! well, you are the Master, I shan't complain. *bows* (though I do hope I will be considered Sith enough for a promotion to the apprentice title soon! ;) :D)



    />
  19. East_Coast_Ryder Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 22, 2005
    star 2
    *whistle* Whoa. That was cool. UPDATE ALREADY! Of course, now I should go work on my disability challenge fic...
  20. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    uppie please! No pressure or anything though :D If it isn't too much trouble, could you PM me? Your an amazing writer, can't wait for the updates! [face_love] :D
  21. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4
    East_coast_ryder: Thank you! [:D] ooh, and please, do PM me when you finish your disability fic. If you don't mind. :)

    Lost_jedii: You are so sweet. I'm really happy you're enjoying. :) I'll remember to PM you. [:D]

    Thanks again everyone! [face_love]




    Chapter Two
    ?To be a Master is to have the heart of a parent. To have the heart of a parent is to know hardship as well as ease, sorrow as well as joy. Our Code forbids attachment. But there is no stronger attachment than that of the parent and the child, the Master and the Padawan.?
    From the diary of Jedi Master Delia, the first to train five Padawans successfully to knighthood.




    Qui-Gon paced inside the med facility waiting room nervously. He had insisted on being present while the Healers attended to Obi-Wan, but he had not been allowed. He stroked his beard distractedly as he paced. What was going on? What had happened to his apprentice? How did it happen? These were questions he desperately needed answers for. When Healer Marc had arrived at their apartment an hour earlier, and tried to help Obi-Wan up but failed, he had worriedly called for assistance.

    Two Healers had to carry Obi-Wan to the med facility on a stretcher because the boy could not move his legs. As if that was not enough to worry about, Obi-Wan had also gone into a mild form of dormo shock, traumatised by the sudden physical ailment, and Qui-Gon could do nothing to help him. It was this that frustrated him most.

    The creak of the main door suddenly snapped Qui-Gon out of his troubled thoughts, and he turned to see Healer Marc standing there with a clipboard. Qui-Gon's heart sank. The human Healer looked just as troubled as he was feeling, crease lines appearing in his normally smooth face.

    'Have you finished examining him?' Qui-Gon asked anxiously, ignoring the expression on the Healer's face. 'Is he alright? Do you know what happened?'

    Marc held up a hand. 'I think you better sit down,' he said quietly.

    Qui-Gon felt something constrict in his chest. 'Why ?' he asked calmly- a calmness that only thinly disguised his rising fear. ?'You can't have bad news. There is nothing wrong with Obi-Wan. He is a perfectly healthy young man.'

    Marc sighed. 'Qui-Gon I agree with you. I?m just as troubled as you are. But I am here to help. But I can?t do that if you lose your focus. I need you to sit down so we can talk about this like two mature and composed Jedi Knights.'


    Reluctantly, Qui-Gon entered the medical facility and Marc's office. Once he was seated, Marc sat behind his desk, Obi-Wan's files open in front of him.

    'So what is wrong?' Qui-Gon asked instantly. 'Why can't he move his legs?'

    'First I need you to answer some questions for me,' Marc responded carefully.

    'Of course.'

    Marc spoke quickly as he skimmed through the pieces of flimsy on his desk.
    'As far as you know, has Obi-Wan ever experienced swelling in his joints? For example, his knuckles? Painful knees?'

    Qui-Gon shook his head. 'No. Nothing of the sort. In fact he hasn't been ill at all for a long while. I've encountered more illnesses than him this past year.'

    Marc nodded slowly. He looked visibly troubled before perfect Jedi serenity masked his face once more. Qui-Gon noticed.

    'Why do you ask? Is there something wrong with his joints?' Something clenched inside him. 'Are you suggesting that he has rhemum arthriti? That's impossible. I refuse to believe it.'

    Marc let out a sigh. He leaned back in his chair, staring down at the files.
    'You must not know very much about it Qui, because rhemum always starts with a fever, or a rash, but he has none. Usually the first symptoms of joint trouble are inflamed knuckles, or knees, but that isn't the case either. Obi-Wan seems to be in perfect health, despite the fact that he can't move or feel his legs.'

    Qui-Gon suppressed the fear rising inside him. 'Then tell me what is wrong. This your area of expertise Marcus.' he reminded his former classmate.

    'We don't know.'

    The w/>
  22. Star_Drifter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2005
    star 3
    You may or may not be aware, but when infants are brought into the Temple, their parents must have signed a sheet saying that the child must not be at risk of any disease or condition. Injuries we can fix, but unfortunately, we cannot take the risk of accepting children who may not be physically or otherwise emotionally capable of becoming a Jedi. His parents did not notify us of this, and it is considered a crime under Republic law. That is something we are going to have to deal with as well.'

    [face_laugh] Okay, Sith Apprentice! [face_laugh] That is certainly evil enough for a promotion! [:D]

    Qui-Gon stumbled into the fresher room, sagged against the cold tiled walls, buried his head in his hands and wept.

    :D Good job! At this rate we'll have you Sith Master in no time at all! :D

    Wonderful fic, Alexis! You rock! [face_dancing]

    Darth Mom :cool:
  23. bek Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    Caught hook, line and sinker! :)

    He could not face Obi-Wan until he was strong again. Until he had found his centre in the Force. Until he had composed himself to be the most serene Jedi he had trained to be. Until he could become the faithful rock Obi-Wan could depend on.

    Qui-Gon stumbled into the fresher room, sagged against the cold tiled walls, buried his head in his hands and wept.


    Nice to see that even Qui-Gon has his moments. :) I'm worried for Obi-Wan though, this isn't going to be something he'll take with a grain of salt. Not only is his life at stake, but his master's sanity and his own dream of becoming a Jedi.


  24. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    :_| :_| :_|

    That was excellent!!! =D= =D= =D= Your an amazing writer Alexis! :D :D That post was so sad!!!

    I'm really worried about Obi :( :( But maybe there's still a miracle that will happen so he'll be able to walk again???

    Poor Qui :( I loved the mush and angst, you portrayed Qui so well!! Trying to make himself keep his calm but still internally falling apart. And that very last part when he went to the refresher room and cried! :_|

    I'm really wondering who Obi's parents are in your fic, and if they knew about this gene?? [face_thinking]

    The relationship between Qui and Marc was great too ;)


    If it isn't too much trouble please PM me with updates!! I can't wait until your next post!!!! :D
  25. -Darksaber- Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2005
    star 3
    Qui-Gon stumbled into the fresher room, sagged against the cold tiled walls, buried his head in his hands and wept.

    *cries*

    You must trust in the Force, Qui-Gon. Obi'll be fine, just you wait and see...

    Great post. Update soon!
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