Saga - PT Outcasts

Titleutcasts
Timeframe:Saga-PT
Characters:Arjen Venice,Eyan Se
Genre:Sci-Fy

Deleted.

 

Mav Edit:
Venator88 - We don't allow concrit unless the author specifically asks and then only by PM. Please make sure to read the FanFic FAQ in Resource for all the rules. If you have any questions, please PM me.

 

Venator88 - The trick here is that we cannot say more than the first two things you said. There's a thread where one has to sign up if they want private feedback. So, if FlyingspiginaPurplejarr wants it, he needs to sign up. I'd recommend that to you, too. I'd recommend it to anybody, actually. Then again, I am this person who got challenged on the same thing by two people - Selonian anatomy.

Flyingspig's got another story with this character and it's an interesting outlaw, that Arjen dude, but one thing that I *think* should be said somewhere is that this is an original character.

*ahem*

So, how did I miss the fact that there were two Arjen Venice stories? Which one predates the other? My guess is that this is the newer one, since "Arjen quickly realized that,such technology can be useful to fulfill a much greater cause,a revenge even sweater than Salusa IX.The deconstruction of the empire."

But yes, while an insight into Arjen's now definitely evil mind (he doesn't even like nature) and twisted ideas is awesome, you do need to go through this - the Doctor is a "he" in some parts and "she" in others, the spacing problem persists and it's a confusing read.

 

This was a rushed story indeed,I wanted to connect it to the other one,but later I saw it kinda sucked,maybe it should be taken down and some part retconned.Now I focus on the Nar shaddaa arc and I take my time as you said Venator.