Before - Legends Overall Enthusiasm (OC; humor)

title: Overall Enthusiasm
topic: Qui is so pathetic when he is captured with a cuckoo
disclaimer: just Quig is a Lucas piece, I don't know who Dooku is, but everyone else is hopefully mine
notes: Tweef is weird, but this is a serious story
more notes: I got the title when I heard the song thingy on YOUTUBE

Tweef and Qui-Gon stood back-to-back. The droids surrounding them, But those dastard reinforcements still haven't come. Qui-Gon but his lip.
"We're SO hopeless."
"Tweef, you were the one that said we were too young to die."
"That was eight minutes ago."
"So?"
"NOW WE"RE TOO OLD!"
And with that, the droids began firing and Tweef began swooning. Qui-Gon sighed and deflected some shots. He was thinking one question.
Why must I be with Tweef! Why must I! Why did Master do this to me! Why! Why! Why!
Suddenly, as if she had heard his thought, Tweef picked up a blaster and began firing wherever the droids were concentrated.
"Down droid! Down to Yomama! And stop firing at the girl, that's SOOOOOOO -ist!"
Qui-Gon would have groaned if he had wanted to get flying sand into his mouth. Tweef was such an idiot.
"Me no dummie these days- I just got another one!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slowly, the droids all collasped into smoking piles of rubble that Tweef found joy in jumping over. Qui-Gon lay on his back and ignored the rash that was spreading on his back due to overheat. His hair was damp and his vision was getting foggy. After his breathing slowed to normal, he rose punched Tweef in the gut. Tweef rose one eyebrow, and then immediately went into hysterics about the wrinkles she just got.

There was nothing to do but sigh.
Just then, more droids arrived.

 

"What now?"
"Saying the word 'crud'?"
Qui-Gon sighed.
He was annoyed. And angry. And exasperated.
"Ohpsies, no!"
He shot a fleeting glance backwards. Tweef was firing as if on cue. Her aim was horrible, even for a non-Force sensitive civilian.
Just because she's a genius with big info doesn't mean this, there has to be more to her.
Yet then again, bounty hunters often did more for more.
He snorted, shoving Tweef against a wall. She had better stay.
She did, but she fired out from miscellaneous spaces Qui-Gon did not guard.
It was almost smart.
And then Dooku appeared around the corner.
That was blessed.
Maybe he had worked with an idiot for something after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Was it funny enough

 

Qui- Gon watched Dooku come.
His master was such a genius.
And Tweef was such an idiot.
She would have made him laugh if it weren't such a horrible battle.
And yet she still is lightening up the choking darkness.
Now, if she'd only aim better, he'd be happy.
But Tweef was more likely to shoot him than a droid.

 

Uppers!

 

Dooku took care of a lot of the droids, but Good ol' Qui0Gon here was still exasperated.
Now why would that be?
Tweef.
Half the time she wasn't even firing the gun correctly, and the other half she was either not firing or aiming horrifically.
Qui-Gon whimpered softly.
With this, he thought, he'd better develop Tweef-phobia.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At last, all the droids were down on the ground.
And Tweef was climbing around on the wrecks, falling off the tower every two seconds.
Dooku was being very stern and strict about Tweef not getting herself hurt, but eventually let her go and has been laughing for quite a while.
Qui-Gon just sulked, leaning against a wall and biting his teeth very hard so he wouldn't laugh.

 

Tweef narrowed her eyes at Dooku. "I've been a professional aerial ballerina for 8 out of 14 years. I have sense. And it also explains why my arms are noodly amoebas."
Dooku registered exasperation.
Qui yawned.
Tweef bounded ferally and playfully scrambled to the top of the pile of rubble, where she stayed for a second then fell off again.
Qui-Gon whimpered from the prick of his rash.
Tweef paled and spazzed.
Apparenty, she's had some history.

 

There was a mighty low, a rumbling, hypnotic groan.

Tweef opened her mouth into a wide O and dashed behind Dooku as...