Before Padawan (re-write) Updated 13th March 2012 :-)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by EGKenobi, Sep 18, 2008.

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  1. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    I wasn't happy with that particular draft, as I felt it moved the story too quickly. I can imagine that should someone survive a suicide attempt, they'd have a lot of stuff to deal with, and I felt that Obi-Wan had dealt with a lot of it right there, while that was good. It didn't leave all that much else for the rest of this section of the story. But I can promise there will be mush further down the road!

    Well, author's always right (um, yeah) but I didn't think it too fast for those two considering how Obi-Wan is so considerate of others - I could see him, not most people, being quick to explain.

    But slow works well too and probably is more realistic.


    Drat it, you're too quick off the mark Val Wait for the PM next time lol......(Only kidding)


    :p

    Well, golly gee...if you insist ;)
  2. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Excellent EG=D=

    Obi-Wan has a lot of healing to do and Yoda is
    the right person for the job.[face_love]

    I wonder what he will tell Yoda.[face_thinking]
  3. GeneralKenobi7 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2009
    star 4
    Nice chapter, Master!:)
    Lovely Obi/Siri mush=P~
    I'm looking forward to reading more. By the way did Siri get new boots?:p
  4. JediMasterAmanda Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2005
    star 5
    I liked the old version, but this one is good too. Can't wait to see how it all plays out and who will train Obi now. Put me on the PM list?
  5. EGKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 3
    Sorry for the lack of PM's, it's 1:17am here in the UK at the moment, and I've just finished this chapter. Will send them out for the next chapter.

    I want to thank everyone who's responded too. I will respond to you tomorrow evening hopefully, when i have more time on my hands.

    thanks for your continued support. Helps make the writing easier.

    Chapter 5

    Yoda and Obi-Wan sat there for what seemed like an age, neither saying anything. One too scared to say anything, the other waiting on the Force to provide him with answers. The silence wasn?t uncomfortable, but neither was it an easy silence. Anticipation hung in the air, it seemed so thick one could cut through it with a vibroblade.

    Yoda looked around the room where Obi-Wan spent the last three days. ?hmm? he murmured quietly, ?many friends you have it would seem Obi-Wan? Yoda stated.

    This caught Obi-Wan off guard somewhat. He was expecting Yoda to try and get to the root of the problem in one fell swoop, but he certainly didn?t expect him to notice the cards and various trinkets his friends had left for him. He mutely nodded his head. ?It would appear so? he said, almost too quietly to hear.

    Yoda nodded in affirmation, ?hmm, yes popular youngling you are.? Yoda hopped down to examine the trinkets more closely, taking time to turn each one over in his hands. ?Much love has been spent, making these gifts.? He looked to Obi-Wan over his shoulder, and noticed he didn?t even look at Yoda, he was staring at a blank spot on the ceiling. He chose to ignore this, and went back to examining the gifts, ?hmmm, yes, the Force signature of the giver each gift has. Each as unique as the person who bought it or crafted it. Agree you do hmm??

    Obi-Wan knew that he couldn?t get out of answering this question. He sighed resignedly, and turned to face the Jedi Master who was using the Force to levitate a model of one of the Jedi Starfighters that were often used. He hadn?t really looked around his room since he?d woken up. And now that he did, he found that every space was filled, with cards, gifts and all sorts of things. It had only been three days, but it became clear to Obi-Wan that he was missed.

    He hung his head in shame, as the full realization of his actions came crashing down on him. ?I don?t deserve any of this.? He said, his voice full of pain. ?I took a cowards way out to try and escape my problems.?

    Yoda didn?t say anything. The Force told him to hold his tounge. He carried on examining the gifts. ?Hmm, mysterious are the ways of the Force. Hmm, yes; mysterious indeed.? He said almost to himself, he carried on viewing the gifts for another few moments before he hopped back to his stool.

    He looked at Obi-Wan with wisened eyes. ?How feel you?? he asked.

    So many an initiate had been asked the very same question, and each time they?d have had their answers picked apart by the Council. Obi-Wan knew he couldn?t try and hide anything from Yoda. Yoda knew Obi-Wan better than he knew himself.

    ?Empty? Obi-Wan whispered, ?and angry.?

    He looked at Yoda expecting to see shock on his face, but instead Yoda nodded sagely. ?and why empty and angry do you feel young one?? he quizzed gently.

    Obi-Wan spoke from the heart, ?because you paired me with someone I didn?t want me to be his padawan, and who did nothing to help me grow and never gave praise. I feel empty because I now realize that I can?t trust anyone. Not even the one who was like a father to me, but to him I was a failure. And then when I thought I was free from him, you stopped me.? He all but screamed the last sentence at the Master.

    However Obi-Wan now looked truly terrified, nobody had ever yelled at Yoda like that ever. And now, a fourteen year old had just done it.

    But Yoda didn?t react. He didn?t raised his voice in return, when he spoke his voice was even.

    ?Obi-Wan, wish to apologise to you I do, for pairing you with Qui-Gon. Thought I was doing the will of the Force at the time I was. But mistaken I was. Your near death it took me, to show that. And my
  6. JediMasterAmanda Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2005
    star 5
    great update. I do wonder who it is that will train Obi now. [face_thinking]
  7. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5

    ?Master Yoda, I don?t know what to do. I?m scared.? He said, his shoulders starting to bob up and down as he tried to contain the sobs that were screaming to be released.

    ?Release your pain you must, to the Force young one.? Yoda said gently.

    Obi-Wan shook his head, ?I can?t, all I want to do is scream, to get the anger I feel out of my system.? Yoda nodded, and using the Force, closed the doors to the suite, and activated the sound proofing system.

    ?Release your pain to the Force young one.? He asked gently.

    Obi-Wan screamed.

    Yoda was almost bowled over by the magnitude of pain the boy had gone through.


    Wise old troll - there's many a way of releasing pain and Yoda allowed Obi-Wan the release he needed right then! That had to do Obi "more than a modium" of good."

    Thanks for updating!
  8. JediKaren Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2007
    star 3
    ohh I like this a lot. Please update!
  9. Raphire Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 19, 2008
    star 4
    This Is good! I can't beleive I didn't catch this at the begining.


    I think Yoda might be the only one who would have the capacity to be a master to this poor apprentice.


    I loved the Siriwan in this story.
  10. SJ_More Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 28, 2009
    star 1
    =D= Good story, or remake of a story!

    I absolutely love the part where Obi Wan vomitted on Siri's shoes! That was hilarious what she said to him afterwards.

    I also liked where Obi Wan got away with yelling at Master Yoda and getting an apology from him. As well as Yoda holding the force around Obi Wan's room and letting him scream out his frustrations...that always helps.

    Overall nice story and I do hope you update sooner rather than later! Hehe! ;)

    Sincerely
    S. J. More
  11. EGKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 3
    You'll be pleased to know that an update is coming, it's just a bit slow that's all...

    Thanks for your continued patience

    EG
  12. EGKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 3
    Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later...

    Here's the latest chapter,

    Thanks for reading

    EG

    Chapter 6

    The Jedi Council Chambers

    The room was almost fully occupied as 11 beings discussed the movements in the Qotile system. It seemed there was a new threat emerging that called themselves the Stark Commercial Combine. From the intelligence that the Jedi had gathered so far, it consisted mostly of wretched scum and villany. And this was not a threat the Jedi took lightly. It seemed that there'd been an attack on a few of the Trade Federation's transports.

    The discussion was in full flow as the ancient Master Yoda arrived. The gathered assembly immediately fell silent, but Yoda motioned them to continue. The air bubbled with reports and discussions of what role should the Jedi play in these events.

    Yoda hobbled silently to his seat, and hopped in. He looked out on the cityscape, he noticed the sky was blood red. It was almost aas though this was an omen of some sort. He closed his eyes, and shut out the discussion that was going on around him, and looked to the Force for answers.

    Reaching out he could sense every single being in the Jedi Temple. The vast majority of them were resting at the moment, in their quarters. He could sense some in the training arenas going through their lightsaber maneuvers. He reached out a bit further and looked for a particular Jedi.

    He could sense the Soul healer with Obi-Wan at the moment.

    And looking at Obi-Wan's Force signature, he could see the raw emotion radiating from him. But it was no longer shrouded in darkness. There was a good chance that he'd come through this. He would have to face the usual ribbing of his age mates, however he'd have help with that.

    He lightly brushed against the Young Jedi's mind, and sent a burst of reassurance that all would be well. He withheld his disappointment when Obi-Wan flinched at the gesture. It would be something else he'd need to discuss with Qui-Gon before he left.

    It was then the Force spoke to him. It was then he knew what he had to do. And he would do it to the fullest of his ability.

    He opened his eyes from his meditation to find eleven pairs of eyes staring back at him. Not one of them dared to say a word. Yoda harrumphed, "old I am getting young ones. Heh heh, more sleep I need hmm?" he joked gently. It seemed to break the tension, however they were all nervous about what was to be discussed next.

    Mace kicked off proceedings. "So how is Obi-Wan?"

    Each of the Masters noted how Yoda's ears drooped at the mention of Obi-Wan. "Hmmm difficult to say that is. Hiding his pain well he is. Too long has he had to keep in I sense."

    Each Master meditated on that for a time, when Yoda spoke again, "I sense there is something for each of us to do in young Kenobi's training. Revealed to me by the Force it is, that the Chosen one young Kenobi is."

    At this many eyebrows shot up. "That's impossible!" exclaimed Plo Koon, "it was said that the Chosen one would not have a father at all, it would be a virgin birth!?"

    At this Yoda nodded, "hmm, and records we have of Obi-Wan's mother, but of his Father? hmm? Quizzed his mother I did when left him with us she did, no father there was. Thought drugged or traumatized she was at the time."

    Yoda recalled the event almost fifteen years ago, when a young girl turned up at the Jedi Temple carrying a small bundle. Yoda happened to be walking in through the main entrance on that day. It was there he first met the young Kenobi. He recalled the girls golden brown hair, and the freckles that adorned her youthful face. He knew at once there was no chance this girl could care for her child. When Yoda asked her who the father was, she told him she didn't know. And claimed that she'd not slept with a man. At the time Yoda surmised that she'd been drugged at some point. He took a blood sample of the small baby, and found his midichlorian count to be sky high. Even then he knew that this boy was special.

    The room was stunned in to silence for
  13. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    The "Chosen One" eh - OF COURSE! Unexpected, too - you fooled me on that development.

    How long THAT will remain a secret is - a nanosecond, I think.

    The next chapter or two should be quite interesting as Yoda takes over and Obi-Wan finds healing.

  14. EGKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 3
    Glad I can surprise you :)

    The next few chapters are gonna take a while to write sadly, as it's gonna be dealing with Obi-Wan, or I'll write it in to one big chapter...but it's gonna be interesting to write...

    But there's gonna be an interesting few turns in this fic yet...heh heh

    Thanks for reading

    EG
  15. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    So Qui-Gon will be away for three years and Yoda is going to train Obi.

    Brilliant move. I always thought Yoda should train Obi.

    I wonder if Obi will eventually want Qui-Gon to train him[face_thinking]



    You've made my day telling me that Obi-Wan is the 'Chosen one'[:D]

    Yahoo.=D=
  16. GeneralKenobi7 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2009
    star 4
    Chosen One?!?! Huh, I didn't see that coming...
    I very much liked how Yoda took control of the situation and practically ordered the other Council members to go along with him:p
    Great chapter, master![:D]
  17. SJ_More Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 28, 2009
    star 1
    Lovely update! I quite enjoyed it. So Obi-Wan's the chosen one, that should make things interesting. I await your next chapter with open arms.
    [:D]

  18. PrincessBrookSolo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2007
    star 2
    Yoda voice:"interesting this is" loved it=D= can I be added to the PM list please?
  19. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    I love that Obi is the Chosen One, yes indeed! [face_love] He's a better choice than Anakin, that's for sure! What was the Force of canon thinking, anyway? :rolleyes: [face_frustrated]

    That's a great idea to have the whole Council in on Obi's training, and I really love that Yoda is going to be his new master. [face_love]

    Now I'm wondering what role Qui will have (if any) in Obi's future. [face_thinking]

    This is a great story, I'm looking forward to more! :D
  20. JediKaren Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2007
    star 3
    ohh interesting! Very interesting! Any chance I can beg you to write faster?
  21. EGKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 3
    Lol, I could be persuaded for a fee ;-)

    I am working on the next chapter, it's mostly Obi-Wan seeing the healers at this point, which I'm having a hard time writing. If anyone has any suggestions, please do feel free to PM me. This isn't something I've written before, so I'm open to ideas.

    EG
  22. KellyLCrutcher Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 28, 2009
    star 2
    I just started reading this tonight and I look forward to the next post :) Keep up the great work! =D= :) Could you add me to the PM list please?
  23. littleobiwankenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2009
    star 1
    I just found this story. I love how it works till know.

    Could you add me to the PM list please?
  24. Raphire Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 19, 2008
    star 4
    Obi-wan as The Chosen one. That's different.

    Cool twist!
  25. EGKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 3
    Just wanted to let you guys know that I am still working on the next chapter.

    DRL has been hectic at the moment, so I've not had much time to write the next chapter. But it is on it's way. Sooner rather than later I hope.

    Thanks for your patience.

    EG
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