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Before - Legends Pain of the Living #part of the Dare Challenge#

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Neo-Paladin, Oct 7, 2005.

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  1. Neo-Paladin

    Neo-Paladin Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2004
    This has been done for the Dare Challenge
    From BrentusofGath:
    In 2,500 words or less, write a hurt/comfort vig about Mission on the Rakatan planet after Revan turns evil and tells Zaalbar to kill her. He only leaves her severely wounded and someone helps her.

    Title: Pain of the Living
    Author(s): Neo-Paladin
    Timeframe: Post NJO
    Characters: Mission Vao, Carth
    Genre: challenge, probably AU, hurt/comfort
    Keywords: Dare Challenge KotOR
    Summary: What if one doesn't want to come back from the dead?



    Her life flashed before her eyes.

    They said that happened.

    Who said that she didn't know. Having just experienced the span of her life for the second time she knew she had been told no few times, back on Taris. Of course the source of this wisdom was always a mystery. If you saw your life flash before your eyes when you died, how would the living know? Some had claimed to come back from death, but if they were alive, then they weren't about to die after all, were they?

    Not that it mattered now, as she now knew it was true.

    Of course if that was the case Mission Vao was left to wonder why she was in such pain. She hurt like nothing she could describe. She felt like her body had been beaten to a bloody paste. Having just witnessed the span of her life, with keen focus on the end, she knew that had been true also.

    She had plead for her life. She had never done that before. She had eaten out of dumpsters, she had stolen, she had conned, but she had never plead for her life. She had no other options left. In the span of her life she had seen some incredible things, but none of them like Revan. Fate itself seemed to bend to accommodate him. It was Revan's galaxy, everyone else just lived there.

    And so she plead for her life.

    Now she could only wish she hadn't tried.

    The cruelty, the malice, the evil exhibited by Revan was beyond what she had thought possible. Growing on her own up from age 12 in the Undercity of Taris, Mission did not think there was much beyond her imagining.

    She was wrong.

    A sort of mad desperation shown in Zaalabar's eyes when he received the order, the compulsion, from Reven, to kill her. That strength she had used and been sheltered by for so long had been turned against her as her world was turned a shade of red that grew darker and darker till black.

    Mission Vao died.

    But the questioned remained, why did it hurt so much? Pain was of the body, and the dead are without their body; at least that's what the mystics in the Undercity had said once. Now that her life had flashed before her eyes, why was everything still black? And what was that moaning sound?

    Mission took a breath in and the moaning stopped. That gave her pause to consider. Things clicked into place, and the realization that she was alive dawned on her. She was the source of the moaning.

    Mission swallowed and cracked here eye lids open.

    ?Ehhh,? Mission said as she weakly covered raised an arm to cover her eyes from the light. As she did so she began to realize how feeble she was.

    ?Careful,? A rich baritone voice said from beside her as she began to move, ?You'll still be pretty weak.?

    Mission moved slowly but deliberately towards a sitting position, but never made it as the room began tilting wildly. Letting out a scream, mission grabbed the first thing she could reach for support.

    ?It's alright,? Carth said soothingly as Mission clung to his leg. One hand soothingly ran up and down Mission's spine, and steadied her. ?It'll take awhile to learn how to find your balance again,? Carth explained. ?The Rakatan, they couldn't save your right headtail. We humans use our ears to sense balance, your headtails give you a better balance sense, but now that you're missing one you'll have to learn how to get by on just one.?

    Mission's hand reached up and felt the behind the right side of her head. Her fingers felt lower and lower along the head tail till it came to a stub, 60 centimeters too short. ?I'm a
     
  2. ladylaurel18

    ladylaurel18 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 12, 2005
    This is gorgeous, Neo-Paladin.

    ?I've lost too much,? Carth finally answered. ?Every friend, every loved one, everything I have ever cared about has either died or turned against me.

    I went back and saw you lying there on the sands I just... I had to pick you up.


    Please don't hate me. I don't want to lose you too.?

    Loved it. If it were earlier, I would be able to say why I loved it, but its not, so...maybe I'll come edit this post sometime. Until then, well, I'm sure you can figure it out. Fan fic are smart people.

    Lovely!

     
  3. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    That was simply incredible! It was very powerful and moving! Bravo on an amazing entry to the Dare challenge!=D=
     
  4. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrel Wrangler of Fun & Games star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Excellent challenge response! That has just left me in tears being so good!!
     
  5. Bale

    Bale Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 9, 2005
    A very heartfelt entry. Good work. :)
     
  6. Neo-Paladin

    Neo-Paladin Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2004
    Why thank you grand-iwan. It was an interesting challenge, and it turned out better than I might have guessed. :p I should let your master know to come find this...

    Thank you VaderLVR64. Thank you also for coming up with such a fun challenge concept.

    I'm pleased you like it Leona. A little tragedy can be a good thing from time to time I think.

    I tried to make the emotion resonate in this, as that is what this fic relies on. Thank you for your words Bale.
     
  7. ithesock

    ithesock Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 12, 2005
    Ah, poor Mission. That was beautiful, and moving. The way Carth said he had to save her, because he had lost too much - I'm not very familiar with KotOR, but your piece was wonderful. And a great response. :)

    Excellent. =D=
     
  8. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    Excellent job! Although I sort of figured you'd go for Carth as the one to rescue her, I was hoping for a Rakatan! [face_laugh] I didn't think that was too evil a dare, not compared to some I've seen and read, but I guess it was a little difficult. But you pulled it off very well. =D=
     
  9. Neo-Paladin

    Neo-Paladin Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2004
    Thank you ithesock. I'm pleased you understand that saving Mission is what saved Carth.

    Yeah, Carth was the obvious choice BrentusofGath. I reread the dare just before posting, and the way you phrased it made me wonder if that was what you were getting towards. But Carth it is. His character is established, and he needs something if he's going to survive the dark side ending of KotOR.

    The dare wasn't too evil. I enjoyed it. It was different from what I'm used to writing, but that is the point of the challenge methinks. Good stuff all around then. :D
     
  10. Force-sensitiveLyn23

    Force-sensitiveLyn23 Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2005
    i dont usually read KoToR stories, but this was really good! I love Mission she's like my favorite in the whole game! This is a great story!!!!!!!
     
  11. Neo-Paladin

    Neo-Paladin Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2004
    Thank you. Yeah, KotOR fics are hit or miss for me too. I'm glad this one was a hit for you. :D Mission is great, isn't she?
     
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