"Pains of Growth" - What If in Episode 1? Five Years Later

oops, double post

[This message has been edited by grand moff sedriss (edited 03-29-2000).]

 

As much as it sounded like they were something administered by the council in TPM, I suspect that the trials are intrisinc to the personality of the individual in question, and their greatest fears.

I don't know Dia-Mar, but I suggest you take a look at her personality to the core, and steer her section of the story towards a confrontation that she does not want... ever.

Luke's trial was to face his father one more time... win or lose, live or die, he would be a Jedi when he emerged from the other side of that confrontation. Obi Wan's was to confront and defeat the creature that had killed his Master, without falling to the dark side at the same time.

Look at the character, and she'll basically tell you what her trials are, if she's been developed at all...

 

we're off to a start...

Anakin Skywalker, son of the suns, possibly the strongest Jedi ever...was humiliated and defeated by a Gundam.

Jar-Jar Binks simply could not hold on any longer.After hearing about Mushrooms and Clams and Spiders on the Phono-transmat, he could not hold his stomach any longer.

"Jar-Jar, I think I found somthing. It looks like there are strange plants growing on the outside of the waaaaalllls!"

Anakin landed to the ground, which was a good ten feet below him, with a thump. He quickly glanced under him, and there in the starport, was a Japatea egg. Very squishy, he thought. Perhaps put here to keep people alive after falling?

The Japatea Egg, Anakin knew, could heal wounds and bruises much like Bacta. What he did not know was that it was much more explosive than Bacta.

"Jar-Jar, get down here you Nerf-herder. I could have been killed! And bring the identification system."

The Gungan looked around himself for an indentifier, but seemed to remember throwing it into the pit when he tripped.

"Uhhh, Mesa Can't find one Ani! But I think isa Know what thato eggs mighta be."

Anakin ran for cover, and put the egg into place so that the Gungan would not hurt himself.

"Ayayaoayayayaoyaoy!" he cried in a Xena like voice. Upon his landing, many of the Eggs were broken. These eggs were plant life, and thus drained a green substance.

"Jeez, Padawan Binks. Do you like pain?"
With this he activated his lightsaber and cut through an egg. The explosion was too much for it, but at least he was safe.

"Uhhh, Ani? Did that Egg just explode?"

He was replied with a gasping Anakin.

"I think we just found our bomb"

Just setting the stage for what is to come! Next time on wiie1?5yl:
Diamar's initiation! The deduction of the Bombings! Shmi gives her new child a name! A Jedi Wedding?

 

For those of you who are new, I invite you to check out our site at: http://mir.spaceports.com/~tbx/index.html http://mir.spaceports.com/~tbx/index.html

Two finished clips are up and running, one blooper video, and our take on the Wassup! commercials (Blue Milk (not Bud))

Keep an eye out for future updates and a teaser trailer by the end of the month!

 

Here's some kindling from one of the 'old timers' to see if we can reignite the spark of excitment about this thread. As one of the original 'TPM-based' stories, we carry a lot of baggage here, which alot of smaller tales (especially the onslaught of 'What if this or that happened in Episode 1 stories) drop by emphasizing one or two parts. We also happen to be on long, continous tale and, unfortunately, have never had the benefit of being archived officially (how's the Archived Edition coming? It may be worth it to post what we have now, so people interested can look in one spot to catch up and not have to visit http://jedijutsu.webjump.com/chapter1/chapter1.htmhere for Chapter 1 and Forum9/HTML/000689.htmlhere for Chapter 2 ...after all, we don't know for how long Chapter 2 will be around).

Is there really interest here aside from a few surviving authors? I'm curious about such.

I haven't had much time to post here and many things keep me distracted. There IS A nice foundation of story here, though, and it would be nice to see where it goes.

Anyway, this post merely catches up a bit with Obi-wan, reminds people about Anakin's sister, tosses in Adi (a favorite of mine), and introduces (I don't think she's been in here before) a set villain who I dislike, but was perfect for the role I needed her in. As always, as usual, anyone is free to pick up where I leave off (heaven knows my 'leaving off' of late means a minimal of a month, if not a season! .

--------------------------------

How long have I been out? It was the first thought that ran through Obi-wan Kenobi?s mind when he regained consciousness. The second thought was his mind informing him of a painful pulse that past through his body. The third was a muddled one that told him not to care; that everything was just fine. That's the one that worried him the most.

He could feel his legs and was grateful for any small favors. They felt shackled together, but otherwise unhurt, as were his hands. He tried to calm himself enough to feel out for any less-obvious damage with the Force. The painful pulse returned, jolting him from his self-diagnosis. He felt something brush the whiskers of his beard, then the warm fingers of a hand gently holding his head. Although the room?s brightness was painful to his weary eyes, he fought to open them.

As his gaze stopped blurring, he found himself staring into a pair of exquisitely beautiful dark eyes; eyes that examined him with such intent that, in his semi-conscious state, he thought he awoke to the gaze of a lover. He tried to smile at that thought and found his mouth responding slowly. This made the woman before him smirk, her thin, yet enticing lips beckoning him while mocking his enjoyment at the same time. He blinked a few more times and focused on her. Those beautiful eyes were surrounded by dark coloration, and he couldn?t tell if it was natural spots or makeup. Her lips were of the same color and contrasted her almost perfectly white skin, and were perfectly placed above a strong, yet feminine chin, between a pair of defined cheeks, and beneath a well-formed nose. The crimson hair that sprouted from a topknot on her otherwise bald head fell to either side of her face, framing it gracefully and accentuating her elegant bone structure. Her white face and beauty made him think of Amidala, or perhaps the face of an angel or ghost.

The warm fingers that held his cheeks and jaw in place prevented from thinking such for too long, as they turned his head left and right slowly. They were elongated, feeling perhaps like human fingers with an extra knuckle. Obi-wan was too dazed to move his eyes from her face, but judging from her motions, she must have been about human height, crouched to examine him. He didn?t care. Her loveliness and pleasant scent made him uncertain if it wasn?t just her presence that intoxicated him. He smiled a lop sided smile and closed his eyes, relishing in her touch.

In his bliss, the pain returned and caused him to involuntarily shiver.

?Adequate,? the dark lips spoke in a smolderi

 

just to let y'all know, you aren't writing this only for yourselves. I've been reading this one since the beginning and this page (even through the board changes) has been bookmarked for quite a while now.

keep it going!

 

Do my eyes deceive me or does this story actually survive within the first three pages? I had thought it lost! Yay!

I'll have to be checking here more often now.

What we need is some kind of big action scene...like the old Maul-Sakkari one that brought everyone in for the first chapter. THATcould potentially win some readers back.

[This message has been edited by Womprat of Unusual Size (edited 04-16-2000).]

 

Umm just to let everyone know i am reading this and have been for a while but I've just been lurking
If anyone needs help with Ideas though just email me and I'll be glad help out because I really like this story!!!!

 

j One fight scene coming right up!

Dia-Mar was thrilled at the news. She was going to have the chance to become a Jedi Knight."From languinis (Poorhouses) to Lightsabers!" It would eventually become a famous phrase, but that is in a few thousand years.

She was in her room, brushing her tunic down so it would be clean, when it happened.

"Attention all occupants of the Jedi Temple"
The intercom blared.
"There is a disturbance and an uprising of the Bothans.All Jedi Knights and Padawans are to see to it that this is stopped with no injury or casualty.Sector 4 is to stay here and continue with their lives."

Why is my sector staying here? Dia-Mar thought. Ahh, yes. Now I remember.Chancellor Palpatine's lady, Shmi I think, is staying here.

Dia-Mar suddenly thought of her running to the uprising and getting injured. She quickly located her room, and left her quarters. The holoscreening she was watching was still on....

_____________________________________________

Sidious became giddy as a schoolboy. Almost.

"Yesss Shmi. Just get closer to the uprising. Your fears will be easier justified then."

His temporary Nemoidian apprentice, Newt Gingrich, merely slithered in reply.

"Newt, how do the time anomalies progress?"
Darth Sidious sighed as he pondered a name for his new pet lizard.

"They are now finished,Mistress. You may send the old Skywalker mother and The poor girl from desert planet to their new fear homes."

"Very good, Newt. And don't call me mistress."

"I won't, mother of Nute Gunray"

Sidious suddenly supressed the urge to have roast Neimodian for lunch."

_____________________________________________

Shmi traversed the dark corridors, searching for her beloved Anakin. She knew that he would be at this uprising. He had to be.

Passing several young Padawans throwing a stone with the force, she tripped. In front of her she saw a yellow glowing object, like a gem, or the sun in the sky. Touching it, she felt it's energy, soaked it in. The two padawans never even noticed that she had dissapeared into it.
_____________________________________________

Dia-Mar Anadi found herself in familiar surroungings. She noticed a dusty smell, and felt the comfortable heat of the night. Below her was a ravine, and deep under that ravine, two individuals seemed to be fighting with lightsabers. Far beyond them,a little girl was running away.

Dia-Mar had no idea how she arrived back on this planet. She could only remember touching a glowing blue object that she had tripped over, and then found herself here.

Still, she remembered this battle all too well. She never wanted to face this again. Her worst fears had just come true.


Her master was fighting the Demon....

I am no good at writing fight scened. Hopefully somebody else takes over. Remember, Dia-Mar and Shmi accidentally touched the wrong stones, (Shmi had the blue, Dia-Mar the yellow) so Dia-Mar is at the right time but on tattoine, and Shmi is in the right place (Wherever you want) but is in the future. Let the readers flock in!

 

Wha? What did he write?

Newt Gingritch?!?! How can that be? This is getting out of hand!

-one confused Neimodian

 

Darth Maul watched his apprentice move through the corridor, the blade of his lightsaber cutting through enemies. It left red trails of light, making battle droids appear to bleed as the weapon slashed through them.

The scientist ducked, kicking one droid in the process, then spun his blade through a firing turret. The fallen droid started to stand, aimed to fire at him. The scientist responded by tossing through the passage, at one of its allies.

Maul studied the actions of his apprentice. He could be a powerful Sith Lord, with proper training. For the time being, Maul only needed think of a name. Darth Igneous, perhaps? Maul considered, decided against it. It may mean from fire, but it sounds like you?re describing a mere pebble, not a Sith Warrior.

Maul thought of the scientist?s origins. A Jedi Knight, angered at his masters. A vital part of the massive Sith plan to rid the galaxy of the Jedi.

Instantly, a name came to him. Darth Vengeance.




[This message has been edited by Dev Sibwarra (edited 04-23-2000).]

 

Whassup <insert Gene Simmons imitation here> tongue.gif

Excellent work on the Blue Milk commercial. I'm looking forward to seeing the teaser trailer as well.

Keep up the great work.

 

Still downloading here... but what are the ships you've got on the poster? They look nice.

 

Glad you all have liked it so far. The ship on the poster is the Nebulon Ranger from the Tales of the Jedi Comic Series. Seeing as how the film takes place 1000 years before the rise of the Empire in the SW timeline, we wanted to use older (possibly not very familiar ships).

Although the film is on the "serious side" we are having fun doing the blooper video and the commercials. We should be updating within the next few days with some extra bloopers and addition info regarding the film.

 

To the top!!!

 

As the ship?s ramp opened, Dazam Sicor tightened his grip on the blaster. ?I?ve got a bad feeling about this,? he scanned the empty landing bay. ?Looks like our friends haven?t arrived yet.? Dazam turned to Sio Bibble. ?Govenor, I think it?s best that my team and I inspect our surroundings before you board the station.?

Bibble nodded. ?Go ahead.?

Dazam motioned at the two security guards flanking Bibble. They stepped to his side as he nervously stepped down the ship?s ramp. ?Detecting anything??

?I?m not sure. The energy being used to maintain these Gungan bubbles is severely limiting the scanners,? one guard reported. ?Interesting? the layout of the station has changed since the last team visited.?

?Changed? how so?? Dazam asked.

?The Gungan technology is very flexible. It allows new rooms to be added easily. And someone has done just that.?

?Who would do that? Radio to Bibble and ask if he knows anything about?? Dazam was cut off by a sudden snap-hiss. ?What was that??

The security guard at Dazam?s left started to respond, but his answer quickly turned to a gasp for air. The man fell dead to the floor. Dazam saw a quick trace of movement, a shadow, moving across the bay. He reached for his blaster, fired at it. The blast disappeared into one of the walls, boiling water but doing nothing to stop the creature.

The attacker stopped moving, stood still in front of Dazam. A cloak covered his face, but Dazam knew all that he needed to from the blood-red blade the being held. ?Sith.? He whispered. At his right, a guard fired at the attacker. Dazam did as well, but the saber sliced through air, deflecting the two shots to burn into the floor.

?Fall back,? Dazam ordered. ?Get to the ship.? He fired again, more to defend himself than to destroy the creature, and jumped back towards the ramp.

The Sith, instead of running forward, retreated towards the doorway of the shuttle bay. Dazam quickly realized what he was attempting. ?Shut the ramp!? he yelled at Bibble, leaping through the ship?s door. The governor, confused as he was, complied, keying the ramp-close switch. Slowly, mechanical gears pulled the door shut.

Dazam reached for the surviving security guard, trying to pull him aboard. But it was too late. The Sith, in the safety of the corridor, drove his lightsaber into the Gungan energy field generator.

The walls of the shuttle bay collapsed, sucking the air- and the last security guard- into the cold vacuum of space. Sicor stepped back, letting the ramp close, and rushed to the ship?s cockpit. He threw himself into the pilot?s chair, activated the sublight drives at full strength, and darted away from the station.

?What was that?? Bibble asked, entering the cockpit.

Dazam looked up from the navigation computer only long enough to answer. ?A warning.

 

?Anakin,? Qui-Gon Jinn said. ?I appreciate your concern for the Jedi Temple in preventing the blast from killing others. However, if you felt there was a security risk, you should have informed us.?

?But there wasn?t time.? Anakin said. It wasn?t an excuse, just a statement of fact.

?Be more? careful next time, my Padawan.? Jinn said. Why did Yoda not discipline the child himself? Jinn wondered. He knows I dislike it.

?I?ll be as careful as I safely can, Master,? Anakin said. ?Now, if I remember correctly, we?re to appear before Master Yoda within ten minutes.?

?That we are.? Jinn said, fastening his lightsaber to his belt.

It was early, yet Qui-Gon and Anakin were full alert. They still had not adjusted to Coruscant time after their journey. The two Jedi passed only droids as they headed towards the council chambers. ?Why do you think Master Yoda summoned us at this hour, Master??

?I am not sure. Perhaps to reprimand you. Perhaps to assign us another mission.?

?This soon after the last??

?The Jedi have much to accomplish these days, my apprentice, with fewer of us to do it.? Qui-Gon now found himself standing before the door to the Jedi Council chambers. He needed not announce his presence, he knew. Yoda had already sensed their arrival, and would admit them when they chose to.

He did not have to wait long. After only a few seconds, the door slid open. The two Jedi entered in unison.

?Early you are, Master Qui-Gon.? Yoda said. ?Growing impatient, were you??

?We felt it was best to not keep the you waiting, Master Yoda.? Qui-Gon responded.

?Wise, your decision was. Act quickly, we must.? Yoda limped towards the computer terminal on the room?s far wall, tapping the activation switch with his cane. Holoprojectors embedded in the floor sprung to life, and a familiar face appeared. Despite the boy?s Jedi training, Qui-Gon saw some trace of unidentifiable emotion appear on Anakin?s face. Happiness, perhaps? Or regret? He could not tell.

After waiting a moment to confirm that the recorder was activated, the person in the hologram spoke. ?Greetings, representatives of the Jedi Order. I am Queen Amidala, of Naboo. Years ago, you helped us win the battle for control of Naboo. Now, I fear we must call on your assistance once more.

?A small political group opposing Chancellor Palpatine?s actions in the Senate recently contacted us. They wished to discuss certain matters. We agreed to meet at a space station, on the edge of our star system.

?Unfortunately, the meeting never took place. When our men arrived, they were confronted with a mysterious attacker,? The queen?s hologram was replaced with that of a dark shape moving through the air, its only clear feature a red lightsaber. ?This is the only clear image we obtained.

?We are unsure on how to proceed with this matter, and agreed that it would be best to ask you for assistance. Please, Jedi, you must hear our plea for assistance. You are our only hope.? With those words, the hologram ended.

?Interesting,? Jinn said, concealing his surprise. ?It would seem that the people of Naboo have a Sith Lord on their hands.?

?It?s Maul,? Anakin said. ?It must be. It makes sense that he would be operating on his own.?

?My conclusion as well, that was.? Yoda said.

?Could it be a trap?? Jinn asked.

?Hard to see, that is,? Yoda said. ?But no other choice have we. Master Jinn, you are to go with your apprentice to Naboo. Investigated, this matter must be.?

?Yes, Master Yoda. What resources are we to be granted??

?Serious danger, there may be. Examined our record, I have. A team, you may assemble, to combat the Sith. Command the mission, you will. Stopped, any Dark Side activity in the region must be, or the Jedi may fall.?

 

Up.

 

Could somoene just re-cap for me where everyone is right now? Despite having read-up on the posts since I left I am still kinda confused as to where everyone is. If somoene does this for me than I will soon be posting something for Tisara since she has been abandoned. I just need to make sure some people are where I think they are before I post this segment. Thank-you
~Cailina



[This message has been edited by Darth Threepwood (edited 04-29-2000).]

 

Which people?

 

Jar-Jar is at the temple, Dia-Mar is back on tatooine right when her master was killed by Darth Maul, Shmi is somewhere in the future (Shes free is you want her!)Obi-wan is being held by Aurra Sing, Maul has occupied a platform over Naboo, and Anakin and Qui-Gon are on their way to investigate that platform.

 

Hey guys, gals, and remaining readers. As life has thrown the latest in a long string of curveballs at me, instead of causing potential issues with not being able to keep up with any story threads I work on, I'm officially retiring from the WIIEO thread. . I know it was my original baby, but as Eowyn put so succinctly many moons ago, there are more important things than any silly story.

If people are uncertain as to what to do with the subplots I put in, I could write one finale post that would free up Obi-wan. As for Anakin's sister who Palaptine has 'adopted', I leave that up to you guys. At this point, she can even fade for another 5 or 10 years.

I'm going to take this opportunity to remind people of a certain few things, just for consistency in the future:

Anakin's saber- don't forget the fact that the one given to him by Hei-Jin is a double-bladed one, with one side red, the other blue. I initially thought to do it as a cool concept, but realized the metaphorical significance when I actually penned that part.

Don't forget Dia-Mar's sister. She's been in this too long to just disappear now that's she's on Coruscant.

The difference between Maul/Vader/Sidious. Don't make Sidious\Palpatine obvious or brutual. For every ounce of subtlety in Maul, there's about a ton in Sidious. I ran the Sidious 'suicide' line awhile back to not only clear up a potential 'flaw' in another's post, but also to give Palpatine breatihng room. To make him come out and run amok as Sidious ruins part of the character.

Hei-Jin. Though my original character, he's been handled well by those who have used him and I'd like to see that maintained. Remember that he's blind, has double golden lightsabers, has this unrequitted thing for one of his former masters, Adi Gallia, and has basically actually gotten a little more jovial than I initially made him (especially around the curmudgeon Owen)...his injury probably caused that.

Remember the living Force. Whenever you write a character, picturing the actor who portrayed that character saying it. If it doesn't sound right, analyze why and reword it. Granted, you can't always be as stiff as the TPM dialogue, but in most cases, things seem more right if the character sounds like he would actually talk like that. My early Qui-Gon/Anakin scenes were lauded once or twice because I made sure that it sounded like how the characters spoke.

Anyway, that's enough preaching. In leaving this thread, I want to thank a number of people:

elegant_weapon@UNC, who very early on came into the story and wrote a fantastic fight scene which not only drew in the audience, but also established Hei-Jin Sakkari as a valid, even cool, character.

Eowyn, for her superb Amidala posts (no one anywhere else I've seen captured the 14 year old Amidala so well). Eowyn's a splendid young lady that I'm glad I get to talk to from time to time even though she's no longer posting.

Cigam & Dev for being the long term stalwarts of this story. They've long since held the work together and provided many a good reading while doing so. I'd waste even more room highlighting what they've done.

Lwyn'nya Kenobi, for gracing us with a post or two. Given her popularity, it was akin to having George Lucas or Steven Spielburg film an act of your film for you.

Mona Starfire, for also taking an active role of leadership when the thread slowed down and providing us with the thread's second most favorite original character, Dia-Mar.

the_podracer, for proving that a free, open story forum can survive anything

All the other contributors, who each added their own touch to this story.

The readers, who supported the story early on with incredible intensity. I originally wasn't sure how well this would be taken, but the early responses were so overwhelming that it made many of my days

And, last, but not least by any stretch, EmeraldSaber who was (and still is) my biggest fan, a source of support, and a dear and beloved friend. She started off as a fan of this story and eventually, through coaxing, not only became a contributor,

 

Maybe I can coax somone to permanently shut down the thread.Since I wasnt actually named in the goodbye, and I didnt do anything to help anyway, I will go try my luck at something active . Goodbye

young fools. Only now, at the end, do you understand the power of the dark side. I will enjoy watching you die.

 

Well said, Cloudreaper!

[This message has been edited by Emerald Saber (edited 05-07-2000).]

 

May the Force be with you, Cloudreaper.

Is there anyone else who still is interested in this story? If so, please post here. Perhaps we should resort to some behind-the-scenes planning to give this story more life.