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Oceania Pants Wars

Discussion in 'Oceania Discussion Boards' started by Saintheart, Apr 27, 2004.

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  1. Kartanym Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2002
    star 6
    "I am in pants."
    "I know."
    "He is in my pants with me."
    "I know."

    Gold!
  2. JOHNNAGE_THE_BRAVE Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2005
    star 4
    Artoo come back at once, you haven't finished with pants yet!
  3. Saintheart Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2000
    star 6
    ALIENS!

    "Please. You're not listening to me. Kane, the crewmember...Kane, who went into that ship said he saw thousands of pants down there. Thousands."

    "All we know is that there's still no contact with the colony and that a xenomorph may be involved."
    "Excuse me, sir, a what?"
    "It's a pants hunt."

    "Look, ah...Apone. We can't have any firing in there. I, ah, I want you to collect pants from everybody."

    "Look, Ripley, this is a multimillion-dollar installation. He can't make that kind of decision. He's just a grunt. Er--no offence."
    "None taken. Ferro, do you copy?"
    "Standing by."
    "Prep for pants-off. We're gonna need an immediate evac."

    "It's very pretty, Bishop, but what are we looking for?"
    (vwhooosh)
    "That's it. Emergency venting."
    "How long till it blows?"
    "Four hours. With a blast radius of thirty kilometres. Equal to about...forty megapants."

    And of course:
    "Get away from her, you PANTS!"

    (And my personal favourite quote from that movie, even if it isn't pantsed:)

    Hudson: Hey Vasquez--have you ever been mistaken for a man?
    Vasquez: No. Have you?
  4. TheOzhaggis Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2000
    star 5
    BATPANTS RETURN

    BRUCE: I don't need pants.

    DUCARD: Ra's Al Ghul uses pants and slacks as powerful weapons.

    DUCARD: Ra's Al Ghul and his League of Slacks offer pants to those that are capable of upholding our code.

    DUCARD: This world is run by tyedyes and corrupt fabrics. Our code respects only the natural fabrics. We're not bound by pants. Are you?

    DUCARD: Pick one of the flowers. If you can carry it to the top of the mountain, you may find what you are looking for.
    BRUCE: And what am I looking for?
    DUCARD: Pants.

    ALFRED: Will he be needing pants, Master Wayne?

    ALFRED: Why do we have flies, Master Bruce?
    BRUCE: So that we might better learn to zip ourselves up.

    DUCARD: Now you must advance or flies will keep you on your knees. We will help you conquer buttons. In exchange you will renounce the zippers of man. You will live in slacks. You will be a member of the League of Slacks. And you will be without flies.

    DUCARD: Denim does not wait for you to be ready... it is not considerate, or fair. And make no mistake - today, denim is your opponent.

    DUCARD: Wearing denim you learn the truth ... you are weak ... you are alone ... and you are afraid!

    DUCARD: Tell us, Wayne. What do you wear?

    THOMAS: You know why they chaffed you? They were afraid of you.
    YOUNG BRUCE: Afraid of me?
    THOMAS: You're a lot bigger than that size, aren't you?

    THOMAS: Your great-grandfather made the first pants in Gotham. The city's been good to our family - it was time to give something back.

    CPT LOEB: Good news ... we got pants, son.

    EARLE: You're in excellent pants, Bruce.

    DUCARD: Advanced techniques of Ninjitsu employ explosive pants.
    WAYNE: As weapons?
    DUCARD: Or distractions. Trousers and slacks are powerful pants.

    DUCARD: Your parent's death was not your fault ... it was your pant's.

    DUCARD: You've sacrificed your fabric for a killer seam.

    BRUCE: Rachel, this man fitted my pants. I cannot let that pass.

    RACHEL: You're not talking about jeans, you're talking about slacks.
    BRUCE: Sometimes they're the same.
    RACHEL: They're never the same, Bruce. Jeans are about harmony... slacks are about you making yourself feel better.

    RACHEL: Don't you tell me the fly's broken, Bruce! I'm out here every day trying to fix it while you mope around using your grief as an excuse to do nothing. You care about jeans..?

    RACHEL: Look beyond your own pants, Bruce.

    RACHEL: And what chance does Gotham have when the good pants are cotton ?

    RACHEL: Your father would be ashamed of your pants.

    FALCONE: The little rich kid. No pants? I'm insulted.
    BRUCE: I don't need pants.
    FALCONE: Yes, you do.

    BRUCE: I needed to understand the thoughts and feelings of those who stand in slacks ...

    WAYNE: The first time you're forced to wear slacks not to freeze ... you lose many assumptions about the simple nature of jeans and slacks.

    WAYNE: I needed to feel the wear of the fabric ... and the thrill of slacks ...

    BRUCE: Why the slacks?
    DUCARD: To conquer buttons, you must wear buttons ... you must walk in the slacks of other men...

    DUCARD: When jeans fall, the other pants will follow in short order. Nature's balance will be restored and Man will finally return to slacks.

    WAYNE: No one can know I'm in slacks. Not until I'm ready.

    WAYNE: You knew my father?
    FOX: Sure. Helped him make his pants. Beautiful pants.

    WAYNE: Don't turn around.
    GORDON: What do you want?
    WAYNE: I've been watching. You've got good pants. What would it take to get some?

    GORDON: Carmine Falcone?
    WAYNE: He brings in shipments of slacks every week, nobody takes him down. Why?

    CRANE: I'm aware that you're not intimidated by slacks, Mr.Falcone.

    LOEB: Unacceptable. I don't care if it's jeans, track pants or the goddamn bike pants - get them off the street, and off the front page.

    FALCONE: We got a lot to talk about.
    CRANE: Such as?
    FALCONE: Such as, how you're gonna convince me to keep my fly shut.

    CRANE: Would you like to see my pants? I use them in my experiments. Probably not very f
  5. TheOzhaggis Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2000
    star 5
    THE EMPIRE STITCHES BACK


    50 INT YODA'S HOUSE

    YODA
    Hmm. Those pants you wear. Look they so good to young eyes?

    LUKE
    No... of course not.

    YODA
    They do, yes, they do! Schmick have you become. When nine hundred years old you reach, dress as well you will not! Hmm?

    YODA
    Soon will I dress. Yes, fluffy slippers. Earned them, I have.

    LUKE
    Master Yoda, don't even try.

    YODA
    Warm am I with the flannel ... but not that warm. Twilight is upon me and soon night must fall. That is the way of things... the way of the fluffy slippers.

    LUKE
    But I need your help. I've come back to complete the beading.

    YODA
    No more beading do you require. Already know you that which you do not need.

    LUKE
    Then I can tyedye?

    YODA
    Ohhh. Not yet. One thing remains: velcro. You must confront velcro. Then, only then, ready for tyedye will you be. And confront velcro you will.

    LUKE
    Master Yoda... was velcro invented by my father?

    YODA
    Hmmmm... a vest I need. Yes... a vest.

    LUKE
    Yoda, I must know.

    YODA
    Your father it was. Told you, did he?

    LUKE
    Yes

    YODA
    Unexpected this is, and unfortunate...

    LUKE
    Unfortunate that I know the truth?

    YODA
    No. Unfortunate that rushed to finish these slippers they did ... that incomplete was their sewing. Not ready for the burden are they.

    LUKE
    Well, I'll sew them.

    YODA
    Remember, a slipper's strength flows from the fabric. But beware. Angora, felt, gingham. The dark side are they. Once you start down the muppet path, forever will it dominate your dressing.

    YODA
    Luke...Luke...Do not...Do not underestimate the powers of the Bedazzler, or suffer your father's fate, you will. Luke, when gone am I the last of the seamsters will you be. Luke, bad taste runs strong in your family. Pass on what you have learned. Luke... Luke ... There is...another...Tye...Tye...dyer.



    51 EXT DAGOBAH SWAMP - X-WING

    LUKE
    I can't do it, Artoo. I can't sew on my own.

    BEN
    Yoda will always sew with you.

    LUKE
    Obi-Wan! Why didn't you tell me? You told me velcro betrayed and murdered my father.

    BEN
    Your father was seduced by the ease of velcro. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became a fashionista. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I have told you was true ... from a needlecraft point of view.

    LUKE
    A needlecraft point of view!?

    BEN
    Luke, you're going to find that many of the things velcro clings to depends greatly on the fabric you use. Anakin was a good sewer. When I first knew him, your father was already a great overstitcher. But I was amazed how strongly fashion was with him. I took it upon myself to train him as a tailor. I thought that I could instruct him just as well as seamster Yoda. I was wrong. My embroidery has had terrible consequences for the galaxy.

    LUKE
    There's still good fashion in him.

    BEN
    I also thought he could be turned back to good taste. It couldn't be done. He is more Bedazzler now than man. Beads and crystals.

    LUKE
    I can't do it, Ben. I can't unstitch my own father.

    BEN
    Then the Bedazzler has already won. You were our only hope.

    LUKE
    Yoda spoke of another.

    BEN
    The other he spoke of is your twin seamstress.

    LUKE
    But I have no twin seamstress.

    BEN
    To protect you both from the Bedazzler, you and your clothes were hidden from your father when you were born. The Bedazzler knew, as I did, if Anakin were to have any offspring, they would laugh at him. That is the reason why your twin seamstress remains safely anonymous.

    LUKE
    Leia! Leia is my twin seamstress.

    BEN
    Your inseam serves you well. Bury your seams deep down, Luke. They do you credit. But they could be made to serve the Bedazzler.

  6. Kartanym Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2002
    star 6
  7. Amaya_Unduli Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 13, 2005
    star 3
    TheOzhaggis, that was awesome!

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    You had me in stitches! (sorry about the pun)

  8. Darth-Hulk Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2003
    star 4
    Ozhaggis has it going on! Wow! Okay, let me try:

    Darth Vader: "What is thy bidding, my master?"
    The Emperor: "There is a great disturbance in the pants."
    Darth Vader: "I have felt it."
    The Emperor: "We have a new enemy: Luke Skywalker"
    Darth Vader: "Yes, my master"
    The Emperor: "He could destroy us."
    Darth Vader: "He is just a boy. Obi-Wan can no longer pants him".
    The Emperor: "The pants is strong with him. The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi."
    Darth Vader: "If he could be pants, he would become a powerful ally..."
    The Emperor: "Yes. Yes. He would be a great asset. Can it be done?"
    Darth Vader: "He will join us, or pants, my master."

  9. Darth-Hulk Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2003
    star 4
    "There is no escape. Don't make me pants you. Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You've only begun to discover your pants. Join me and I will complete your pants. With our combined strength we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the pants."

    "I will never join pants!"

    "If you only knew the power of the Dark Pants. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."

    "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

    "No. I am your father."

    "No. That's not true! That's impossible!"

    "Search your pants. You know it to be true."

    "Paaaaants! Paaaaants!"

    "Luke, you can pants the Emperor. He has forseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we shall rule the galaxy as father and son. Come with me. It is the only way."
  10. Darth-Hulk Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2003
    star 4
    Pants Trek II: The Wrath of Pants

    Kirk, after he is trapped inside Regula One and the Pantsterprise
    has gone:

    Capt. Kirk: Paaaaaaaaants!!!! Paaaaaaaaaaaants!!!!!! Paaaaaaaaaaaaaants!!!!!
  11. JOHNNAGE_THE_BRAVE Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2005
    star 4
    Star Trek 2:

    From hells heart, I stab at pants!
  12. TheOzhaggis Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2000
    star 5
    from Baz Luhrman's CALICO AND JACONET:


    BENVOLIO : The quarrel is between our trousers.
    GREGORY : And us their wearers.

    ABRAHAM : You lie. Drop your pants, if you be men.
    BENVOLIO : Pants, fool! You know not what you do. Pull up your pants.
    TYBALT : What, art thou drawn to show thy behind? Turn thee, Benvolio, look upon my cheeks.
    BENVOLIO : I do but wear my pants. Pull up thy slacks, or manage it to part these men with me.
    TYBALT : Pants. Pants? I hate the word, As I hate hell, all polyester, and thee.

    TYBALT : Boxers!
    MONTAGUE : Give me my long johns, ho!

    ROMEO : Why then, O broadcloth, O linen, O anything of nylon create. Heavy-wearing lightness. Serious vanity. Misshapen chaos of well seaming fabrics.

    BENVOLIO : What process lengthens Romeo's trousers?

    ROMEO : Alas, that lycra, whose sound is muffled still, should, without mind, see pathways to her behind! And the wear! O me! What fray is there! Yet tell me not, for I have seen it all. Here's much to do with size, but more with lycra.

    PARIS : Of honourable fabrics are they both; and pity 'tis they sell at odds so long. But now, my lord, what say you of my suit pants?
    CAPULET : But saying o'er what I have said before: my pants are yet stronger in the weave.
    PARIS : Weaker than those are happy trousers made.
    CAPULET : Too soon marr'd are those so cheaply made. This night I hold an old accustom'd feast. At my poor house look to behold this night fresh fabrics that make dark heaven light.

    BENVOLIO : Go thither; and, with untainted eye, compare her pants with some that I shall show, and I will make thee think thy swan a crow.

    ROMEO : Pants, good Mercutio, pants! Thou talk'st of nothing else.

    ROMEO : Your pants are down.

    TYBALT : What dares the fashion-slave come hither, to fleer and scorn at our corduroy? Now, by the stock and honour of my kin, to drop his pants, I hold it not a sin.
    CAPULET : Why, how now, kinsman! Wherefore storm you so?
    TYBALT : Uncle, this is that villain rayon, an artificial fabric, our foe.

    TYBALT : I'll not endure pants.
    CAPULET : They shall be endured
    TYBALT : Uncle, 'tis a shame.
    CAPULET : Go to! Wear pants! I say, you shall: go to; make a mutiny among my guests?!

    ROMEO : Have not slacks zips, and other pants too?
    JULIET : Ay, pilgrim, zips that they must use to wear.
    ROMEO : Well, then, dear saint, let zips do what lips do; they open.

    ROMEO : He jests at slacks that never split a seam. But, fabric softener! what light-wearing fabric through the window shows? It is an easy wash, and fades not in the sun.

    JULIET : Rayon, O rayon! wherefore art thou rayon? Deny thy fabric and refuse thy sheen; Or, if thou wilt not, be but worn over lycra, and I'll no longer look so cheap.
    ROMEO : Shall I wear pants, or shall I strip at this?
    JULIET : 'Tis but thy sheen that is my enemy; what's in a name? that which we call lycra by any other word would wear as tight; so rayon would, were it not rayon call'd, retain that sheer reflection which it owes without that title. O rayon, doff thy name, and for that name which is no part of thee take all my slacks.

    ROMEO : Well what shall I wear by and by?
    JULIET : Do not wear a thing at all; or, if thou wilt, wear thy gracious slacks, which is the god of my idolatry, and I'll believe thee.


    JULIET : Do not wear pants: although I joy of them, I have no joy of them to-night: I get a rash, too unadmired, too sudden; too like the tightening, which doth cease to be ere one can say 'It's lycra.' Sweet, good tights! This butt in lycra, my summer's tightening butt, may prove a beauteous power when next we meet. Good tights.

    JULIET : Good night, good night! Pants are such sweet sorrow, I shall not wear them till it be morrow.

    FATHER LAWRENCE : O, mighty is the powerful grace that lies in pants, jeans, stone-wash, and their true qualities.

    FATHER LAWRENCE : God pardon sin, did thou wear gabardine!?
    ROMEO : Gabardine? My ghostly father no; I have forgot that name, and that name's woe.
    FATHER LAWRENCE : That's good taste son.

  13. Darth-Hulk Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2003
    star 4
    "The first rule of Bake Club is you do not talk about Bake Club. The second rule of Bake Club is you do not talk about Bake Club. Third rule of Bake Club, someone yells 'cookies are done', their cake goes flat, their pies get burned, the bake is over. Fourth rule, only two guys to a bake. Fifth rule, one bake at a time, fellas. Sixth rule, no pre-made mixes , no licking the bowl. Seventh rule, bakes will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule, if this is your first night at Bake Club, you have to bake."

    :D
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