Beyond - Legends Papa Don't Preach [Kyp/Jaina/Han/Jacen]Humour: Finally Updated June 10!!!

Chris? Scary? Naw... he just slightly overdosed on his daily crack intake, that's all.

--Den

 

Yeah, MJ, listen to Den. I didn't accidentally overdose, either!

Oh, and don't think that story is over yet. No, sir, not when you gave me an idea to fly w/. For once, I can say that somebody else thought of the idea first, and not me.

 

[color=7000CC]You know that this is the best feedback I've had since I did "Yoda Has A Bad Day." I think I've just found another reason to write. [/color]

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?You WHAT?!?

Han shrugged as he sipped his caf before gesturing back at Threepio. ?Goldenrod over there was the one that told me.?

Threepio shifted uncomfortably. ?Forgive me sir, but you requested-?

?Shut up.?

?Shutting up sir.?

Leia Organa Solo glared at her husband, still trying to comprehend what he had just told her. ?I cannot honestly believe you would do that to your own daughter.?

?You?d better believe it, and you can?t fight the law sweetheart.?

Leia shook her head is disgust as she stopped pacing, forcing herself to relax. ?I suppose you also have someone in mind for Jaina to marry??

Han grinned at her. ?I might.?

?Who??

Han chuckled, sipping his drink. Leia was about to reply when the door flew open, Jacen stalking in. He stopped beside his mother.

?What?s this I hear about you fixing Jaina?s marriage??

Han looked up at him. ?I haven?t done anything yet.?

Jacen scowled. ?That?s not what I?ve heard.?

Han was about to reply when the second door swung open, Kyp stalking in. ?Han!?

Han waved him down. ?Yeah I know, Jaina just told you and you want an explanation.?

Kyp crossed his arms, stopping beside Jacen. ?You got that right.?

Han waved them off dismissively. ?Well, to put it honestly, I was bored.?

A stunned silence descended upon the room as the three gaped at him, Leia managing to find her voice first.

?You were... bored??

Jacen growled. ?So you decided that, for something to do, you would screw your daughters life up.?

Kyp shook his head. ?Ever heard of holovids? Gambling? Simulators??

Han shrugged and leaned back in his seat, sipping his drink.

?I cannot believe you,? Leia hissed. ?I just cannot believe you would do this to your own child!?

Jacen shook his head, shoulders dropping. ?Well anyway, everyone knows that she?ll marry Jag.?

Han waggled a finger at him, leaning forward in his seat and setting his glass on the side table. ?I don?t think so. Lately, if you haven?t noticed, Jaina hasn?t seemed as comfortable around ?Captain Cardboard? as Kyp so nicely puts it. I doubt he?ll even be one of her options.?

?Which is why you gave her a month,? Kyp said, realisation creeping into his voice. ?Jag won?t be back from his mission until after that, leaving him completely out of the picture.?

Jacen took a step back. ?Well I?m going to help her sift through the possibilities.?

Kyp looked back at him. ?I?m coming with you.?

A frown threaded across Jacen?s face, suspicion laced within it. ?Why??

Kyp raised an eyebrow his eyebrow. ?In case you haven?t been paying attention, I?m one of Jaina?s closest friends these days.? He shot a hard look at Han. ?Besides, she?s going to need all the help she can get.?

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[color=7000CC]He's very, very right. [/color]

 

?Shut up.?

?Shutting up sir.?
aren't those the words we've always dreamed of hearing 3P0 and Han say?

?Well, to put it honestly, I was bored.?
ROTFL!!!!
?Ever heard of holovids? Gambling? Simulators?? I LOVE HOW GAMBLING IS THERE!!!!!!!!
?Besides, she?s going to need all the help she can get.? poor Jaina... except it'll make her forget about stupid CC, so yay!!!! but... poor Jaina...
MMMMMMMMORRRRRRRRRRRREEEEE?????

 

Oh my.... ROTF this is just hysterical! Leave it Han to interfere in such a great way.

~~Jilly

 

The ongoing Han/Jag/Jacen - Kyp/Jaina romance saga continues...

Leia: You were... bored?!

Han: Yeah, Jag wasn't here, and I didn't have any pictures of him, so I couldn't find any things to do besides screw with my daughter.

Kyp: Hey, uh, Han... think I could screw with your daughter for a little while?

Han: Sure, just head on over to her room later tonight. If she takes after her father when it comes to horniness, you should have no problem at all.

Kyp: And, apparently, if she takes after her father when it comes to tastes in dark-haired, green-eyed men.

Han: Yeah, just don't mind the smell. The bed smells a little bit like... Jag...

*All stare at Han*

Kyp & Leia: No!

*Han whips off his pants*

Han: Later, kids. I have some serious work to do.

*Han starts walking away*

Han: Oh, and Kyp. I'll send Jaina to your room. Come on twin number two, let's go.

*Jacen follows Han*

 

Eew Chris!!! That's all I have to say. You're probably used to hearing it anyway.

Anyway, good post. Han was BORED. ROFLOL!! That's priceless! More soon, please!!!

--Den

 

Funny Story. I think I will continue reading it.

 

'I was bored'. Brilliant. I think I'm going to make sure my father has lots of stuff to do from now on..... More!

Anna

 

tjp: great post! I was bored? as people said befoer that was priceless!!!

CHRIS: OMG that was just . . . sick!!! you are so . . . i dont know. but im still laughing. yes i do have a dirtier side . . just not like that!

 

?Well, to put it honestly, I was bored.?

A stunned silence descended upon the room as the three gaped at him, Leia managing to find her voice first.

?You were... bored??

LMAO!

more?

 

LOVE IT! I could do without some of the rather vulgar reviews, but your story is great!

SJ

 

This is so funny!! Post more soon!!

 

This story is genius TJP! han... bored!

Chris that has GOT to be your best one yet.

Jez

 

This is brilliant. Captain Cardboard won't know what hit him when he comes back!!! At least Han won't be bored for awhile.

 

[color=7000CC]Thanks for the feedback all. I'm glad you all liked that last one.

Chris: I worry about you. Really, I do.[/color]

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?So tell me again why you?re helping?? Jacen asked, glancing sideways at the elder man.

Kyp brushed his dark shot silver hair back from his face, dark brown flecked green eyes scanning the corridor. ?That?s the forth time you?ve asked me. What are you trying to say??

Jacen stopped. ?I think you?re after her for yourself.?

Kyp snorted, a smile cracking at his lips. ?And what makes you think that??

Jacen ran his eyes over him. ?Well for starters, how come you?ve suddenly taken such a keen interest in your appearance??

Kyp smoothed a crinkle in his robe. ?I got sick of your father giving me a hard time about the way I looked. Ask him, and he?ll tell you that he had been.?

Jacen nodded, accepting this. ?Why have you been hanging around Jaina so much??

?Two reasons.? Kyp raised a hand, lifting a finger with each point. ?Jedi Master. Wingman.?

Jacen narrowed his eyes. ?And why are you two so chummy lately??

Kyp shrugged. ?Ever stopped to think that once you get to know me, I might not be so bad? Besides, Jaina?s taken. And then there is the age thing. 16 years is a rather impressive gap, don?t you think??

?I guess, but there?s an age gap between my parents too, remember??

?But not as big as the one between myself and Jaina.?

Jacen seemed to accept this, moving back along the corridor toward Jaina?s room, seemingly pleased with Kyp?s responses. ?Any ideas with who to begin with??

?My suggestion is that we ask Jaina first,? Kyp answered as he reached up to ring the chime, but pausing as the door opened before he could do so. ?Good morning, Goddess.?

?What?s so good about it?? She grumbled, waving them in. She looked back at Jacen, who noted that she looked a little more ruffled then she had lately. ?Did you speak to Dad??

Jacen nodded. ?Walked in on Mum giving him the once over.? He jerked a thumb back over his shoulder. ?Durron walked in as I was having my turn.?

?And??

?It?s a permanent arrangement, Jaya.?

She swore as she dropped down onto the bed. Both men noted the bottle of lum on her bedside table, its contents half gone. ?Why? Why did he do it??

Jacen bit his lip. ?Believe it or not, because he was bored.?

Jaina groaned, reaching for the bottle and taking a decent swig. The two men shot each other concerned looks as she set it back down, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. ?I?d love to see what he does for a good time.?

?Do you really want to see?? Kyp asked playfully. ?I mean, you are his daughter after all, and most kids hate seeing their parents-?

?Shut up, Kyp.?

He chuckled, catching a small smile on Jacen?s lips. ?Sure thing, Goddess.?

Jaina rubbed her eyes. ?So what am I going to do? I could just marry Jag but...?

?But what?? Jacen pressed. What if his father had been right?

Jaina sighed. ?Lately, I feel... different to the way I used to feel.?

Kyp gestured for her to go on. ?Just remember we?re male, Jaina. It takes a lot longer for us to decode woman cryptic talk, if we can decode it at all.?

Jaina nodded, eyes distant. ?I don?t think I?m in love with him anymore.?

So Han had been right after all.

Jaina reached for her bottle, only to have it float away from her hand. She shot a sharp, aggressive look toward Kyp who regarded her with sympathy.

?I?ve think you?ve had quite enough lum for one day,? he told her gently as he picked it out of the air. He looked toward Jacen, seeking guidance.

?You look tired Jaya,? Jacen said softly, approaching his sister. ?I think you should have a lie down and try and get some sleep.?

She shook her head, almost on the verge of tears. ?I... can?t...?

?Try.? He nodded toward Kyp who dimmed the lights, watching as Jacen guided Jaina down onto the pillows, removing her boots and pulling a thin cover over her. ?Sleep well, Jaina. We?ll deal with the problem tomorrow after you?ve rested.?

Jai

 

?Do you really want to see?? Kyp asked playfully. ?I mean, you are his daughter after all, and most kids hate seeing their parents-?
?Just remember we?re male, Jaina. It takes a lot longer for us to decode woman cryptic talk, if we can decode it at all.? ROTFLMAO!!!! that's like the opposite of Dana's thing in Not of This Fold!
oh, thanks TJP for not doing the thing in the note... there would be one very disgusted 14 year old, here...
MOOORRRREEEE????? SOON?????????
I LOVE THESE LATE NIGHT UPDATES!!!!!!!!

 

Oh my... *snicker* This is definitely getting more and more interesting with each new part.

~~Jilly

 

LOL! to what you said in reference to Chris!

This is great, jps!

Is it too soon to ask for more?

 

Yeah, that might scare the crap out of Jaina if she saw what Han did for fun. And, boy, would she be surprised to not find her mother there too...

I'm really liking this story too because it's fairly different from most K/Js.

 

kewl post.

 

UP

 

[color=7000CC]Glad to know you all like it. I'm definatly having a ball writing it. There is a post later on the Chris will like as well. [/color]

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Jaina woke feeling groggy, her head pounding. She moaned softly, pulling herself out of bed and crossing to her fresher. Pealing off her crumpled clothes, she stepped into the shower and feeling a sharp jolt as she turned the cold water on full. Closing her eyes, she focused into the Force, easing the pain in her head as the water washed away her weariness.

Content that this had been achieved, she switched off the flow and got dried, gazing at herself in the mirror, satisfied that she was completely refreshed.

That was the last time she was ever going to let herself drink so much.

Pulling on some comfortable clothes, she applied a small amount of makeup in an attempt to hide her red rimmed eyes, before pulling on a jacket and stepping into the corridor.

The two men leapt to their feet as she approached them, casting curious looks her way before relaxing, satisfied that she was better.

?How do you feel today, Goddess?? Kyp asked as he and Jacen fell into step beside her.

?Hungry.? She glanced at her chrono. ?How long was I out of it??

?Just over a day,? Jacen answered.

Jaina?s eyes widened. ?I lost a day??

Kyp raised a hand. ?Easy Jaina. You?ve still got 34 standard days to run through the possibilities.?

Jaina dropped into a seat in the gallery, Jacen moving to grab her some food. She looked up at her good friend, eyes filled with concern and fear. ?Who do you think my Dad has lined up to marry me??

Kyp shrugged. ?Could be anyone.? He smirked. ?Just be thankful that Lando is married, that?s all I can say.?

Jaina nodded, knowing that truth lay in his words. ?Do you think it?s one of his smuggling friends or their sons??

Kyp waved it off. ?Worry about it when it happens, Goddess.?

She nodded; looking up as Jacen came back toward them with a tray filled with portions of most of Jaina?s favourite foods. ?So what are my options??

?The main thing is someone your age or close to it,? Kyp said as Jacen sat down. His eyes brightened mischievously. ?How about Jacen? You can?t get any closer then that!?

Jacen glared at him as Jaina laughed.

?I?ll keep that in mind,? she told the Jedi Master, winking at her brother who shook his head sadly.

?Last resort?? Kyp asked. ?Or would that be Jag??

Jaina shook her head, the smile fading. ?Jag doesn?t even make the list. I?d rather have you as a last resort.?

?Promise??

Jacen rolled his eyes. ?Can we please get serious.?

Kyp nodded, leaning back as he ran ideas through his head. ?How about Zekk? If I remember right, you used to like him Goddess.?

Jaina nodded, then shook her head. ?I liked him yes, but he?s also not on the list. You could say that we... disagreed about some things.?

?You said that in past tense.?

?Fine. We still do disagree.?

?So that rules out Zekk.? Kyp looked toward Jacen. ?Ideas??

Jacen nodded. ?That guy from the other squadron docked here, You know, the one who keeps giving Jaya the eye-?

?And is a major jerk,? Jaina finished roughly.

Jacen?s eyebrows lifted slightly. ?-On the other hand, we could find better.?

Jaina shook her head, rubbing her eyes. ?What are we going to do? There is no one that I like?? She groaned. ?Why did this have to happen ?now???

Kyp rubbed his jaw. ?Your fathers up to something Jaina. There?s more to this then just being bored.? He raised an eyebrow. ?I think he?s trying to set you up.?

?You think??

?No seriously.? He leaned forward, looking from Jaina to Jacen and back. ?He waited for Jag to leave, right? Then he set the time so that Jaina has to marry before Jag comes back, meaning that he doesn?t like Jag, and whoever he does want Jaina to marry must be on this base.?

Jacen?s eyes widened. ?I think you?re right.?

Kyp looked at Jaina. ?So this little job of ours is in two parts. Fi

 

Gee... I wonder who Han has in mind.... *g* Fantastic chapter. Looking forward to the next part.

~~Jilly

 

hehehe "i'd rather have you as a last resort"
MMMMOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEE????????
we could handle something like that, TJP... as long as it's hillarious