Before Parched - (JA, Obi/Qui) - *Part 4 updated - 01/01*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Princess_Arulmozhi, Sep 17, 2005.

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  1. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Title: Parched
    Author:princess_Arulmozhi
    Timeframe: JA.
    Characters: O and Q
    Genre: Um. Ah...
    Summary: Just another...mission.
    Notes: Eh, ignore me. I'm just scribbling stuff. One more weird bunny that gnawed me to the bone.

    **************

    Water.

    The single most beautiful element in existence. That which could drive away pain. Restore strength. Replenish dried out cells, filling them with energy. Fresh. Cool. Comfort.

    Jedi padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi walked alongside his Master, through the harsh, dry plain, marvelling silently at the dust that seemed to rise with every footfall. The air around him was still, as though sucked out moments ago by the largest tube in the galaxy. Stillness hummed in his ears, and the air wavered in front of his eyes.

    Water, he murmured within the depths of his mind. Force, water. Just a few drops. Just a few. Just a drop on my lips. Just one, to ease my throat.

    It was not very well done of a Jedi to crave anything, he told himself wryly. Were I my Master, now, I wouldn?t.

    He threw a sidelong glance at the tall figure that was walking one step ahead of him, stepping carefully, as though on Cories flowers. A tall figure wrapped in thick, brown Jedi robes. Robes darker than his; thicker than his. Jedi were used to battling elements, and most were barely aware of their raiment when they were concentrating on a mission?but it was one thing to focus while in the midst of a negotiation or blaster-battle, and another to focus on nothing, while walking in a desert which promised neither shade nor shelter.

    Seventeen cycles he might have completed, and seen more than his share of what the galaxy had to offer?but it had been a long time since Obi-Wan had known such thirst.

    He thought longingly of the green, fertile plains of Naboo, as his boots stamped firmly on flat, parched ground. The fields. The waterfalls. The lush Royal gardens of Alderaan. The swaying arbours of Nei-beth. The musical fountains of Ailbor. The small, all-purpose water-containers issued to every traveller stepping foot in Coruscant. Thrice distilled, removed of all contaminants, and mimicking the mild taste of herbal essences. The Room of Thousand fountains, in the Temple.

    He stumbled a step and then righted himself, his cloak trailing briefly on the dusty earthen floor. The figure to his left stopped briefly, and then continued walking.

    They had not spoken for hours now, preferring, instead, to conserve their energies on the more consuming task of walking. Finding some kind of civilization. And trying to forget the fact that their transport, which they had been promised, had not arrived, and that they were now forced to cut through the Deadlands of Belg-IV, in a vain bid to arrive at the Thrice Blessed Prince Alzuk?s frontier-camp.

    Why said blessed Prince, supposedly an enlightened being, had denied their transport was a puzzle. Still more puzzling was why he had failed to initiate any communicate with them. His Master had been of the opinion that some problem must have arisen?entirely possible, as the planet?s communication systems appeared notoriously faulty at first glance?Obi-Wan was inclined to think that Price Alzuk was trying to test the legendary Jedi endurance, of which too many tales seemed to be floating about. Not that his Master agreed with this. But then, he had not denied it either.

    ?They know next to nothing about us?this is the first time that they?ve ever asked for Jedi intervention,? Qui-Gon had answered. ?It's never easy to trust a complete stranger, in leading you out of a great difficulty.?

    Others had, hadn't they? had been Obi-Wan's first instinct. But he had been forced to acknowledge the logic in Qui-Gon's statement, even if he could not quite accept it. Belg-IV, apparently, was not fond of welcoming visitors to it, which was one reason why they had been despatched by the Council as soon as they had received a summons.

    They had argued about ev
  2. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Woo hoo! First post! [face_dancing]


    I have a feeling I'll be reading this about ten more times. Just today.

    So so so beautiful, P_A. The 'tbc' made me grin! Someone walked in while I was reading this, and I was about to strangle them if they didn't get moving and let me be. :D

    The steady rhythm of Qui-Gon?s gait was beginning to have its effect on him; he now felt pleasantly drowsy, as against achingly tired. Something in the general region of his heart stirred; he felt an irrational urge to weep.


    How sweet was that? You take the simplest scene and make it so beautiful, so full of everything that is Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan and their relationship. I loved how he asked about if his Padawan was bigger than him. Made me think of that scene in ROTS. [face_love]

    I think it's safe to say I have a new favorite. [face_love] This was so great, I could go on and on. But I'll save some praise for the next chapter, when it comes. ;)

    Wonderful, P_A. =D=
  3. Star_Drifter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2005
    star 3
    Few would call Qui-Gon a caring Jedi?but then, they would have been those who had seen the Master in battle or at the Temple, where he had little chance to exhibit his inherent kindly impulses. Those who saw him in the midst of a mission now?those were the ones who had an opportunity of seeing Qui-Gon for what he was. And that, rarely

    [:D] Qui-Gon, beneath that hard shell lies a soft heart...

    Oooooooo! More to come! [face_dancing]

    Make sure that you feed this little bunny very well so that it grows into a nice "large rabbit"! ;)

    *leaves heaps of carrots, and lettuce, and plenty of water*

    More, please! [face_batting]
  4. TRADMIC FanForce CR and President S.W.A.P FF

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2005
    star 5
    I would have had the first post on this but I just had to go get something to drink... =P~ seriously it was that real and affecting.

    I like how Obi Wan is kind of resisting, but then gives in

    Oh, how sweet is it that Qui carried him. How many parents out there can just feel this...when you've carried your own child, falling asleep as you walk.

    And too bad not too many people got to see Qui for who he really was...
    Well, we all know the big teddy don't we?[face_love]


  5. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    awe man that was nice and cute so far. I hope this settlement is a friendly one! More soon!
  6. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
  7. stormqueen874 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2005
    star 4
    Oooooh, a new fic! *does happy dance* Just lovely, P_A! :D I loved the bit where Obi-Wan says he'll carry his padawan; the part with him rambling about what he'd do if his padawan were bigger than him made me giggle. Your writing is so heart-warming, even with the evil to be continued. Hope you update soon! :D

    Stormqueen
  8. VadersMistress Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2004
    star 6
    A new fic! [face_dancing]

    So lovely and sweet. Very beautifully written. Let me know when you update, please. :D [face_praying]

    =D=
  9. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    This was really wonderful. I loved the images you created, the way Obi-Wan seemed to phase in and out of clear thinking and finally Qui-Gon hefting him onto his shoulder and plodding through the desert.

    Loved this:

    ?I?ll carry my padawan, Master,? he spoke suddenly, and felt Qui-Gon stiffen.

    ?Obi-Wan?? came a guarded query.

    ?I wonder what I?ll do if he?s bigger than me,? Obi-Wan pondered, worried, yet feeling a great inclination to drop off into a long sleep. ?I couldn?t carry him then, could I?? He mused about this for a while, then suddenly thought of something else. ?What if he ends up carrying me, all the time?? He felt Qui-Gon?s hand rest on his back, comforting. ?You?ll be an excellent master when the time comes.?

    ?I?ll be a burden to him too.? Why not a ?her?, though?


    Good foreshadowing. I can only wonder where this story came from. Perhaps an image of Anakin carrying Obi-Wan...:D

    Great job. Looking forward to more.
  10. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    Really, really wonderful =D=

    It was so sweet, Obi and Qui are so good together [face_love] You showed their relationship so well.

    Loved the part when Qui was carrying him and wouldn't put Obi down for awhile :D :D And Obi wondering if he'll be a good master or not, so sweet [face_love] Makes me sad to think of his future :(

    Great, great fic =D= =D= That was a cliffe you left us on! More soon please! :D If it isn't too much trouble could you PM me with updates? [:D] [:D]
  11. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Another superbly written fic started. I wonder how many other than myself felt a need to get something to drink while reading this?

    LOve the relationship you show between them and I had a second where I could see ROTS when Obi-Wan not quite wakes slung over Anakin's shoulder and thinks of water for a second. *sigh*

    Post soon, post often.
  12. Jedi_Tigris Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    Aww, that was so sweet! [face_love] I love Obi-Wan's drifting thoughts and his and Qui-Gon's relationship. I hope they don't have too much trouble at the settlement, wonder what the problem is.

    Wonderful job with the imagery, I was starting to feel thirsty just reading this! Great job! Could you pm me when you update, if its not too much trouble?
  13. nd_jedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2005
    Yay - another story from P_A!

    He felt Qui-Gon?s hand rest on his back, comforting. ?You?ll be an excellent master when the time comes.?

    *sigh* such lovely mush[face_love] , not overdone - just the way I like it:).


    ?There seems to be some trouble?? Qui-Gon?s voice seemed strained, for the first time, and Obi-Wan felt a stab of guilt.

    ?I?ll enquire, shall I?? He began to move, before being stopped by Qui-Gon.

    ?Stay here,? came the Master?s voice, as he went forward to meet them.


    Uh-oh - I have a bad feeling about this[face_worried].
  14. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    'Parched' and reading it made me so.[face_coffee]

    this was just beautiful showing the caring nature of Qui-Gon and the embarrassment felt by Obi-wan.
    [face_dancing] =D=
  15. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Awwwwwwwwwwwww Yay! A new Fic!!! I love how caring you portray Qui-Gon... willing to carry his padawan through the burning desert. Oooh an evil cliffe! Bad bad! Must update soon :)

  16. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Beyond gorgeous. =D= Lovely dialogue, as always in your writing. I definitely felt like I was inside Obi-Wan's head, feeling all the fatigue and thirst and haziness. Love Qui-Gon. [face_love] Big compassionate lug. [:D] And the bit about "I'll carry my Padawan" was just perfect--it had the abruptness of a speech made from fever, but the thoughtfulness that is inherently Obi-Wan. Brought a lump to my throat, thinking of Anakin being bigger than his master. But Obi is no burden! :*

    Can't wait for more!
  17. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Yep, I'm thirsty too. Need water...

    I loved it when Qui started carrying Obi. And then when Obi started talking about how he would carry his padawan. ?What if he ends up carrying me, all the time?? ;) Now I want to see ROTS again.

    He felt Qui-Gon?s hand rest on his back, comforting. ?You?ll be an excellent master when the time comes.? Awww. I love mush. [face_love]

    I hope there's more soon! [face_batting]
  18. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    I loved how you showed Qui-Gon's compassion towards his padawan...it was very sweet and unexpected.

    I liked this alot!

    =D= =D= =D=

  19. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Replies, and an update, together with a barrel of fresh, clean drinking-water. :)

    LuvEwan: My dear...
    Someone walked in while I was reading this, and I was about to strangle them if they didn't get moving and let me be


    :D I'm glad you didn't give in to a Sithly impulse.

    Dear girl...I don't know what I would do without your reviews. You have a way of wafting me right upto cloud nine, everytime. [:D] I certainly must have read your comments at least ten times. So happy that this is one of your favourites. Thank you, a thousand times.

    Perhaps RoTS was in my mind, when I wrote this. ;)

    Star_Drifter: <watches as bunny grows at alarming rate> Lol, thank you. Indeed, Qui-Gon hides a soft heart. I daresay he takes in pathetic lifeforms - but I like to think there were only a few people to whom he allowed a glimpse of what he really was :)

    TRADMIC: Big teddy... [face_laugh] But yes, his caring instinct is all there. You had to get a drink of water eh? ;) It worked, then. I'm Darth Thirst, after all.

    How many parents out there can just feel this...when you've carried your own child, falling asleep as you walk.


    True. So very true.

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi: That settlement...ah. That will be answered in this post. Thanks for reading!

    VaderLVR64: [:D] Thanks. I really appreciate your taking the time to read my posts. :)

    stormqueen874: <watches as sq dances prettily> You dance very well.
    I loved the bit where Obi-Wan says he'll carry his padawan; the part with him rambling about what he'd do if his padawan were bigger than him made me giggle.


    Lol. That part sort of...wrote itself out. :D Thanks!

    VadersMistress: One member of the Night Crew reading! <dances happily> Thanks, VM! :D

    dianethx: As always, m'lady, you get the crux of the words so very well. I'm awed.

    the way Obi-Wan seemed to phase in and out of clear thinking and finally Qui-Gon hefting him onto his shoulder and plodding through the desert.


    [face_love] Thank you, thank you.

    I can only wonder where this story came from. Perhaps an image of Anakin carrying Obi-Wan...


    Perhaps. That image has been haunting me for weeks. That, and your previous sig. :D

    lost_jedii: I couldn't help but think of Obi's future when I wrote that, myself. Ah, foreshadowing... :(

    Thanks! :)

    Healer_Leona: HL, dear, thanks so much for dropping by, and reading. Anything Qui will pull you in, I know. :D I'm hard-hearted, so I'm glad you felt so thirsty. :D Thanks!

    Jedi_Tigris: Thanks. I shall put in a supply of cool water, to slake your thirst. Imagine how much worse it must be for Obi. :D. As for having trouble at the settlement - when has their mission ever been trouble -free? :confused:

    nd_jedi: Means much to me, when you say its not overdone. I'm not really fond of syrupy mush. :) Bad feelings, eh? Trust your instincts. ;)

    Thank you!

    Gkilkenny: Thanks so much. Glad you liked it. Parched? <hands Gkk a cup of water> There ya go...

    Layren: No bad cliffies for long. Here's your update. Thanks, L!

    maychorian: Indeed, Obi's no burden, is he? :D
    Love Qui-Gon. Big compassionate lug.


    Big compassionate lug...lol, that about describes him perfectly. I love that expression. [face_love]

    the bit about "I'll carry my Padawan" was just perfect--it had the abruptness of a speech made from fever,


    I'm glad. I wanted it disjointed, and wanted it to carry through.

    Thanks, May! [:D]

    Bastet: <waves hand> You will see RoTS again... :D

    Here's more water. Lol, I could start a business. [face_laugh]

    Yes, there's more now...as of now.

    Thanks so much!

    KELIA: Ah, welcome, welcome. Glad yo
  20. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    Oh wow...wonderfully written!! Sounds like Obi has experienced a force overload of sorts...

    More soon!
  21. stormqueen874 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2005
    star 4
    Why thank you, P_A. *blushes* I did take ballet until I was 12... :D

    And what a wonderful update! Loved the description of the meditation, so other-wordly and really neat! And now we've got the crown prince... I wonder what happened? Why was the transport delayed? *ponder ponder*

    Oooh, I hope you update soon! :D

    Stormqueen
  22. TRADMIC FanForce CR and President S.W.A.P FF

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2005
    star 5
    Wonderful update!
    Loved the decription of Obi Wan's experience

    update soon!
  23. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Awesome! I loved Obi-Wan's vision, and I'm intrigued by what it all means. Obi and Qui's interaction with the child (the prince?) was very lovely. I'm so glad you updated so quickly! Keep it up!
  24. meg_an2006 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Hey just saw this story and the first part was so cute, it made me smile, thanks, I needed that. And the second part was very visual and I felt that I was right there with Obi-Wan, great work! Can't wait to see the next chapter!
  25. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Re-read that part several times too, it was so entrancing. You really bring the reader into the mindset of both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan especially in this section. Your description created this arid atomsphere that Obi-Wan regarded with such a miserable mix of wooziness, confusion and disdain. I love that he keeps regretting allowing his Master to carry him, and the little snatches where it seems like Qui-Gon is getting a bit goofy himself.

    The attention to detail is amazing as well; the passages where they absently indulge the curiosities of the children, and the pieces of Obi-Wan's thoughts streaming through. The way you described Obi-Wan connecting with the Living Force was staggering. I never really got the difference between that and the Unifying Force until I read that, it was explained so subtely and beautifully. The ending made me go huh?, but that's a good thing. ;)

    More immmediately is necessary. :D

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