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Before - Legends Path of Contention, Path of Resilience: Obi-Wan learns a harsh lesson - updated 12-19

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ForceForGood, Dec 15, 2010.

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  1. ForceForGood

    ForceForGood Jedi Knight star 1

    Jan 17, 2010
    Title: Path of Contention, Path of Resilience
    Author: ForceForGood
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, Dooku
    Genre/rating: Drama, rated PG for mild violence.
    Description: 20-year-old Obi-Wan is taught a harsh lesson by a mysterious Jedi Master, and faces a choice that will affect the way he fights for the rest of his life.
    Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in Star Wars, and I don't make a profit from my fanfics. This is a fun hobby, nothing more!
    Inspiration: I'm a big fan of Obi-Wan, but even I have to admit that in the prequels he gets whupped pretty badly by Dooku...twice. I wrote this story to explain why that was the case. Many thanks to the authors of Wookieepedia, which was an invaluable resource as I wrote this. I hope you enjoy it!

    Chapter 1

    The lights automatically switched on as Obi-Wan Kenobi entered the common room of the quarters he shared with his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn.

    The sudden illumination made Obi-Wan blink a bit as he looked around the room; the lighting in the corridor outside had been dim, since everyone else in the Jedi Temple was asleep. Night had fallen on this side of Coruscant many hours ago, and the dark sky outside the transparisteel window was criss-crossed by the lights from the air traffic still whizzing to and fro between the skyscrapers surrounding the Temple's imposing ziggurat.

    Although they'd been gone for nearly three months, the furniture in common room wasn't layered with dust -- the cleaning droids had seen to that -- but still, the room felt curiously empty, as if it had somehow noticed their absence.

    Qui-Gon, entering the room behind Obi-Wan, set down his travel sack without a word and headed straight for the 'fresher. Obi-Wan set his sack down too, and hid a grin. At least some things never changed. His Master always did exactly the same thing as soon as they got home from a mission, no matter whether the mission had consisted of a lot of fighting and slogging through mud, or nothing but endless diplomatic meetings in pristine boardrooms or palaces: Qui-Gon always headed straight for the shower.

    After eight years of apprenticeship to Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan also knew what was expected of him now. He activated a hot plate tucked into a nook in the common room and started brewing a pot of sapir tea.

    It wasn't long before Qui-Gon rejoined him, long hair hanging down loose and dampening the shoulders of his clean tunic. Qui-Gon got to shower first -- being Master had its privileges, after all -- but at least he had the consideration to be quick. Obi-Wan poured him a cup of tea.

    "Feeling better, Master?" he asked.

    "Much better. Thank you, Padawan." Qui-Gon sat down and took a sip of tea, then looked placidly at Obi-Wan across the coffee table. "It's perfect."

    "What's perfect?" Obi-Wan said blankly.

    "The tea, of course."

    "I should think it is, after countless lectures on how to brew it to your completely unrealistic standards," Obi-Wan teased. "But why haven?t you mentioned it before?"

    "It wasn't perfect before. And my standards aren't unrealistic, Padawan, they're just very high."

    Obi-Wan took a sip of his own tea and leaned back in his chair. "Perfect," he repeated dreamily. "I don't think you've ever used that word before to describe anything I've done, Master."

    "Don't let it go to your head," Qui-Gon advised.

    They sat together in companionable silence for several minutes, sipping their tea. Qui-Gon was looking sleepier by the minute. Obi-Wan drained his cup and drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair absent-mindedly.

    "Well, I'm headed to bed, Padawan," Qui Gon said, rising to his feet smoothly. "I saved plenty of hot water, by the way, and put out a towel for you."

    "Oh. Thank you, Master. Actually, I was thinking of going down to the training rooms first."

    Qui-Gon paused. "You want to train in the middle of the night?"

    "It isn't the middle of the night to me. I'm still on Eeropha time. I just want to run through a few katas and burn some energy, so I can sleep. No one
  2. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Apr 26, 2007
    First off OUCH! Second off it took me a minute to place you, but I then remembered who you are and then remembered you are an excellent writer. Very clean and polished writing. Do you know much about sword fighting or just have a really good imagination? Both can work if properly written. I look eagerly and most impatiently to your next chapter, that I do hope will come soon. Er now would be best of course...
  3. obimom

    obimom Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 31, 2010
    Hi! I think I remember you from over at FF.n.

    Interesting first chapter..I wonder if Qui-Gon will appreciate his former master (as I'm assuming that was) stepping in on Obi-Wan's training. Looking forward to where to take this.
  4. The1stJediPrincess

    The1stJediPrincess Jedi Knight star 2

    Sep 20, 2010
    Obi-Wan took a sip of his own tea and leaned back in his chair. "Perfect," he repeated dreamily. "I don't think you've ever used that word before to describe anything I've done, Master."

    "Don't let it go to your head," Qui-Gon advised.

    That part just made me smile. What a nice relationship you have developed between Master/apprentice who I like to think of as father/son.

    Hmmm, Dooku training Obi-Wan without Qui-Gon knowing? [face_thinking] That can't be good.

    Very nice start. If you are keeping a PM, please include me.
  5. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 21, 2007
    Pretty good.
  6. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Sep 16, 2005
    Very nicely balanced between action and characterization. I liked this a lot.
  7. ForceForGood

    ForceForGood Jedi Knight star 1

    Jan 17, 2010
    Everything I know about sword fighting, I learned from Wookieepedia and Matthew Stover's novelization of "Revenge of the Sith." Thank you for your wonderful compliments, that means a lot to me! [face_blush]

    Oh, don't worry, you will find out Qui-Gon's reaction in next week's installment. Thanks for the review, I always appreciate them! Yep, I'm at FF.n too.

    Sure, I can do a PM. I'm glad you liked the first part, I was worried the beginning may have been too slow but I thought establishing the relationship was important. Thank you kindly for the review!


    Thank you! That was precisely the issue I fought with as I wrote this.
  8. ForceForGood

    ForceForGood Jedi Knight star 1

    Jan 17, 2010
    Chapter 2

    "Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan. Are you ill?"

    "What?" Obi-Wan half-sat up in bed, automatically reaching up to smooth down his spiky hair. He shook his head slightly, trying to shake the sleep from his mind. The dull lethargy he was feeling seemed to indicate it was the middle of the night, but a glance out the window told him it was in fact already light outside.

    "Are you sick?" It was Qui-Gon's voice outside his bedroom door. "I've been trying to wake you up for a long time."

    Obi-Wan pulled the blankets off his legs, put his feet on the floor and stood slowly, his muscles protesting strenuously at every movement. Stiffly, he walked over to the door and pressed the button to open it.

    Qui-Gon's face went from worried to stern after he took one look at Obi-Wan.

    "You promised me last night you weren't going to spar, Padawan," he said.

    Obi-Wan looked down and realized that in his sleep shorts and sleeveless tunic, his half-healed burns from the night before were perfectly visible.

    "I know, Master, and I'm very sorry," Obi-Wan said hastily. "I didn't mean to, but he was just so... so intimidating, and I didn't know how to refuse, and we just sort of started fighting."

    "Who's he?"

    "I don't know. Some Master. He didn't tell me his name."

    Qui-Gon's brow furrowed. "He insisted on fighting you, but he didn't tell you his name?"

    Obi-Wan shrugged helplessly, then winced at the painful movement. Qui-Gon's face softened a bit.

    "Are you all right?"

    "It's just sore muscles, and a few burns. Nothing serious."

    "Good. Padawan, just because someone intimidates you doesn't mean you can get away with disobedience. You should have informed him you were not permitted to spar."

    Obi-Wan nodded. "I am sorry, Master."

    "It also doesn't excuse you from your duties today. Get dressed. We have work to do."


    "Master, why haven't you taught me Makashi?"

    If Qui-Gon was surprised by this conversation-starter, he didn't show it. He stepped to the side of the corridor for a moment to let another Knight pass between him and Obi-Wan, and then the two of them resumed walking toward the training rooms.

    "I have taught you Makashi," Qui-Gon answered.

    "No, I mean... well, you've shown me all the positions and so forth, but you've never had me fight a single fight using nothing but Makashi techniques."

    "It's a matter of practicality, Obi-Wan. I can't think of many combat situations in which using pure Makashi would serve you well."

    Obi-Wan started to scratch an itching burn on his forearm, and only just managed to stop himself in time. "It would have come in handy last night," he said. "I was completely at a loss for how to counter his moves."

    Qui-Gon's stride faltered for just a moment.

    "The master you fought... he was using pure Makashi?" he asked.

    "Yes. I didn't think anyone in the Temple did anymore."

    Qui-Gon didn't answer for a long moment. "There are still a few," he said at last, and Obi-Wan was surprised to hear a note of tension in his normally even voice. "A very few."

    "Well, can you show me some of it sometime? I never realized before how useful it could be. I bet I could even beat Shaak Ti once in a while with some of those moves."

    "As I said, Padawan, there aren't many real combat situations in which you could use it. Makashi is primarily a dueling form. It's designed to be used by one lightsaber-wielder against another. That's why so many Jedi specialized in it during the Sith wars. Yes, you could use it now to earn bragging rights with your friends, but it won't help you do your job. The Sith are extinct."

    "But Master..." Obi-Wan hesitated.

    "I know," Qui-Gon said quietly. "You're thinking of Xanatos."

    "He wasn't the first Dark Jedi to attack a Jedi," Obi-Wan said, "and it would be naive to think he was the last."

    They had arrived at a vacant training room. Qui-Gon closed the door behind them so they wouldn't be disturbed. He paced to the center of the room and slowly rubbed his hand over his face. He seemed lost in thought.

    "You don't like Makashi, do you?" Obi-Wan asked.

  9. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Sep 16, 2005
    Qui-Gon always teaching, but Obi-Wan, too, is always learning - and not just the obvious, but layered truths and skills.

    [blockquote]"Consider this, Padawan: your focus determines your reality. If you spend a lifetime learning how to defeat those who wield lightsabers, what effect do you think that would have on how you view your brothers and sisters in the Order?"

    Obi-Wan thought about it for a long moment. "I might think of them as competition," he said slowly. "Foes to be beaten. To gloat over."

    "There?s a reason why Makashi is called ?the contention form,?? Qui-Gon said. ?It can become a path to arrogance."[/blockquote]

    How - how unusual - and quite perceptive - that section is in pointing out one (of perhaps one of several) weaknesses that allowed Dooku to turn.
  10. gaarastar58

    gaarastar58 Jedi Master star 3

    Dec 19, 2010
    A truly great piece of writing, the realism of the characters was perfectly captured for me. This story really brought them to life.

    I look forward to reading more, double thumbs up!

    HA HU HE
  11. The1stJediPrincess

    The1stJediPrincess Jedi Knight star 2

    Sep 20, 2010
    Great update. Qui-Gon ever the patient teacher and Obi-Wan always ready to learn. =D=
  12. obimom

    obimom Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 31, 2010
    Very good chapter. I learned a little about the different styles of lightsaber fighting and why some are more preferable to others. Sounds like Qui-Gon may have some unpleasant history concerning that style (makatu or whatever it is), and maybe Obi-Wan's several burns account for some of that reason? Enjoyed this very much.
  13. SCL12

    SCL12 Jedi Youngling

    Feb 25, 2009
    What a great story i hope there is some more coming. Please[face_praying]
  14. BottledUpInside

    BottledUpInside Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 28, 2005
    This is really interesting! I love learning about all the different styles, and a little background on the Obi/Dooku fights is great.

    Keep it up! =D=
  15. Shillani

    Shillani Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jan 9, 2011
    Nice story! The dialog between the characters sounded quite natural and seemed to fit with the characters's personalities. I also liked the insight into the qualities of the different lightsaber forms.
  16. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2004
    A good introduction to some of the lightsabre forms. I'm liking this.:cool:
  17. Nienna_Narmolanya

    Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 5, 2005
    Very nice writing! You've done a great job with the characterization of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, and the mysterious Makashi master is quite intriguing. [face_thinking] I've always loved reading fan fictions that involved lightsaber duels and Jedi fighting techniques, even though I know next to nothing about them myself, so I'm glad I stumbled across this story. You handle the the terminology and language like a pro.

    I wonder why Qui-Gon gave up Makashi, and does he know who this Makashi master is? So many questions! Looking forward to more. :D
  18. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Apr 26, 2007
    update please?
  19. padawan3

    padawan3 Jedi Master star 4

    Sep 20, 1999
    Stunning piece of writing. You incorporate a great amount of detail and realism in your work. I appreciate the amount of research you put into the story. It is clearly evident, and the story greatly benefits. You could not have achieved such results with less dedication. Kudos all around.
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