Saga Perspectives: Journals of The Chosen One and his Rogue Master (AU, Diary Challenge) updated 5/13/20

Title: Perspectives: Journals of The Chosen One and his Rogue Master
Author: Alexis_Wingstar
Genre: AU, mixed drama and humor.
Timeframe: Starts a few days after TPM
Characters: The main characters are Anakin and Qui-Gon. They will be mentioning others.
Plot: Diaries of Qui-Gon and Anakin Skywalker taking place before my other AU fic starring them, The Bond.
Note: This is for the Diary Challenge 2013
Disclaimer: Star Wars is the creation of the Great Flanneled One and owned by Disney. I'm just tampering with the hourglass.

~~~​

​

Entry One: ​

​

Anakin: Um, yeah, I was given this journal to write in by my master. He says I should put in my thoughts and feelings about what happens to me... he also tells me not to think, just do. So, how am I supposed to do both?​

​

Anyway, since I like Master Jinn and I owe him so much for freeing me and standing up to the Jedi Council when they didn’t want me and is training me anyway, I’ll do it. Besides he promised not to snoop, so I don’t have to worry about him seeing anything that may be embarrassing. That’s not to say someone else may not snoop, so I’ll be careful to keep this in a secret place. Also, since Master is writing in his own diary, I put my name in big bold letters at the top because his looks exactly like mine... I don't want him to snoop on accident.​

​

It’s hard to concentrate on writing though, because I am worried about him. He’s still in the healer’s ward after taking a terrible injury in the fight with that Sith guy on Naboo. It was the same one who chased after us on Tatooine. He... Master Jinn, not the Sith guy... told me that if it weren’t for Obi-Wan, he would be dead now instead of holed up in the healer’s ward. Even though he and the healers all tell me he’ll be able to leave soon (which I notice can be anywhere from an hour to a week so I won’t hold my breath), I’m still worried about him. He’s so... I don’t know how to say this... but, when I first saw him on Tatooine, even before I saw his laser sword... I mean lightsaber... well, he seemed to be taller and so... I don’t know, like he was too good to be touched by anything. Now, as I see him in bed, he looks... vulnerable. Like he’s just an ordinary person.​

​

It’s scary.​

​

Also, I’m worried because the Council is mad at him for taking me as his Padawan. I don’t want him to be in trouble. I think I’ll go to them and withdraw my apprenticeship... I hope Master Jinn won’t be upset at me for doing this. I’m doing it for him, because I... well I owe him. More than that, I can’t let him be in trouble because of me.​

​

~~~​

Qui-Gon: I gave Anakin a journal to write down his thoughts and feelings. I can tell it wasn’t something he was comfortable with. I hope that since I’m doing it too, it will encourage him to do it. This isn’t my strong suit... once I do something, it’s done with. No use dwelling on the past.

That being said, I must express I do have a glaring regret that I am not able to release. I was not able to free the boy’s mother, Shmi Skywalker. She doesn’t deserve live as a slave; not that anyone deserves that. She is a very courageous, giving woman, and more beautiful than she would give herself credit for being. I’ll find a way to free her. For both Anakin’s and my sake. For Anakin, because I’m sure he’s worried for her, and I don’t want the guilt of being free when his mother isn’t hanging over him. For myself, because I care about this woman. Something about her has touched me deeply. I can’t fully explain it.

I am concerned about Anakin. He’s been very quiet while at my bedside. He told me about what happened to him while Obi-Wan and I were fighting the Sith. He was very animated while doing so. What he did was astounding, but though he was excited about the action, he was rather nonchalant about the enormity of what he did. His spirit craves the excitement, but he doesn’t seem to care about the fame that goes along with doing heroic deeds (in fact, he seemed rather embarrassed when anyone on Naboo praised him). Now though, he’s very subdued. I know he’s worried about my injury... but it’s only a temporary setback. I’m going to be fine. In fact, the cybernetic arm I have now has the promise of being stronger than the flesh and blood one I was born with. I wish I could get him to talk about what is bothering him. I’ve asked him if it was because of his mother... if he was worried about her still being a slave. He said that he was worried, but understands why I couldn’t free her. He told me it was alright, that he was sure she’ll be okay. There’s something more that is weighing heavily on him, but I can’t get him to talk about it. I guess he doesn’t trust me yet to reveal his inner thoughts. I’m not sure what to do to gain that trust. I hope giving him the journal will help him work through his thoughts and feelings.

 

Yay! Yay! Tag when you update. I rather like co-diaries LOL

 

Very nice beginning.

I like seeing both Anakin's and Qui-Gon's thoughts together.

Looking forward to more

 

Jade_eyes Yeah, it's easier to make a story that way.

KELIA Thank you. Here's more:

~~~​

​

​

Entry 2​

Anakin: Well, I didn’t have to go to the council to withdraw my apprenticeship. Grandmaster Yoda came to visit my Master, but Master Jinn wasn’t in the room because he was in a therapy session. You know, he isn’t so scary when he talks to you all alone instead of with all the other Council members around. He was actually kind of funny. Strange thing, is, I think even his jokes carry a sort of lesson.

Anyway, when he found out Master Jinn wasn’t in the room, instead of leaving, he spoke to me. He asked me about how I felt about being a hero. I told him it was rather embarrassing because I thought I was going to get in trouble for taking that fighter out. Also, because it was all sort of an accident. I mean, I’m sure Master Jinn didn’t really mean for me to start flying it. He just wanted me out of the way of any harmful blasters. I wouldn’t have been any good in the duel he and Obi-Wan had with that Sith guy. I don’t even have my own lightsaber yet. I just did what I had to, even though the circumstances in which I did it was partly an accident. I mean, I didn’t mean to make that fighter take off. But, when it did, I had no choice but to fly it. I just did what had to be done.

I did admit it was fun, though.

I don’t know why, but I just love flying. And being shot at wasn’t much different from the dangers of podracing... at least on Tatooine, anyway, because Tusken Raiders like to fire on podracers.

Some of my answers, Master Yoda seemed to like, others he frowned at and his ears flattened.

He was about to go when I took my chance.

“Master Yoda,” I said, “I um... need to ask you something. Or rather do something with your help.”

“What is it, young Padawan?”

When he said that... Padawan... it made me hesitate slightly. He didn’t want me to be a Jedi when Master brought me to the Council before, but the way he said it... I’m not sure, but it seemed like he accepted me. I wasn’t sure, but I went ahead and told him what was bothering me. “Sir, I know you and the others are mad at Master Jinn for taking me as his Padawan learner. I respect him, and am honored he wants to teach me, but...” I felt a big lump build in my throat, and I swallowed. There was something in Master Yoda’s eyes that encouraged me to continue. “I don’t want Master to be in trouble because of me, so, if it will help, I... I withdraw my apprenticeship.”

“Hmm, discuss this with Master Jinn, did you,” he asked.

“No, sir,” I answered.

“Care for him, you do.” It seemed more a statement.

“Yes, sir.”

He closed his eyes halfway as he asked, “Yet leave him, you will, if it will be to his benefit?”

I swallowed and nodded. It was kind of what my mom did for me. She let me go because she wanted me to have a better life, even though I know she’ll miss me. “Yes, sir.”

Then he asked, “Where will you go, Young Skywalker?” He asks lots of questions, I noticed.

Now, that was something I hadn’t even considered. Pretty stupid of me, I guess. I paused a minute before answering, “I don’t know, sir. I can’t go back to Tatooine. I don’t want mom to be upset with Master Jinn. Do you have any suggestions, Master Yoda?”

His ears were down almost on his shoulders, and he was looking at the floor, shaking his head. “Discuss this with the Council, I must.” Raising his head, he looked back up at me. “Say nothing to Master Jinn about this. Wait, you must, until the two of you come before the council.”

“Yes, sir.”

Then he turned and left.

I don’t know what’s going to happen. Master Yoda seemed really sad. I’m sad, too.

I hope Master Jinn won’t be sad.

Qui-Gon: Today has been very interesting. When I came back from physical therapy, Anakin was moping even worse than he was before I left, if such a thing is possible. To tell you the truth, I was irritated already, because I hate being in the Healer’s ward, so I was rather sharp with him. “Anakin, moping is unbecoming a Jedi. Either tell me what is bothering you, or go mope somewhere else!”

I regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth. I regretted it even more when he stood up and yelled at me.

“You won’t have to worry about me moping much longer anways, because I’m not gonna be a Jedi!”

For a moment, I just stood there in stunned silence. It wasn’t just that he shouted at me. It was the anger, shame and sorrow I sensed coming from him like a storm surge which washed me away. Before I could say anything, he ran out of the room with tears falling down his cheeks.

It didn’t take me but half a second to go out the door after him, but he had already disappeared around a corner. It’s amazing how such tiny legs can go so fast! Thankfully, I still heard his retreating footsteps, so I knew which way to go. It didn’t take me long to catch up with him. Especially since he ran into Mace Windu at an intersecting corridor and wound up on his butt. The boy’s tailbone is gonna smart for quite a while.

Mace was gently helping Anakin to his feet and asking if he was alright when I came over to them. The boy was apologizing even while assuring Mace he was unharmed... though he was rubbing his aforementioned tailbone while doing so. When I walked up (once I saw Anakin’s flight was forestalled at the moment of collision I stopped running), Mace stood up to look me in the eye and told me that the boy and I were wanted in the Council room.

I nodded and asked him to give us a moment. He nodded and walked away.

Anakin wouldn’t look me in the eye, even when I placed a hand on his shoulder. “Anakin, please tell me what’s bothering you,” I asked. He said he couldn’t because he promised Master Yoda.

Now that made me raise an eyebrow.

Well, I had no choice. I shrugged and said, “Well, let’s not leave the Council waiting, then.”

We were silent while I led him to the Council room. Just before we entered, he whispered, “I’m sorry, please don’t be angry with me.”

I stopped and turned to him. Kneeling so we could be eye level with each other, I lifted his chin. “Whatever it is, we’ll work it out.”

I didn’t know why at that time, but that seemed to make his sorrow grow worse. He looked as if he were about to start crying again when the doors opened, and Yoda called us in. I smiled gently, and he squared his shoulders. I could tell he was trying to smile back, but his lips trembled. I patted his shoulders and stood. We couldn’t let the Council wait. With one hand on his shoulder, I walked with Anakin into the center of the room.

When we stopped, Master Yoda stood from his seat and walked over to us. This was highly irregular. He stopped in front of us and looked up at me as he stated, “Asked to end his apprenticeship, young Skywalker has.”

I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. I looked over at Anakin, who was studying the floor as though it were of great significance. That’s when I knew why he’d stormed out of the Healer’s ward crying, and why he thought I’d be angry with him.

My first thought was that I’d failed him. I had taken my annoyance out on him when he needed me. But I realized this was something he’d been thinking about for the past few days. Still, I wondered why he couldn’t talk to me about this. I failed him somehow. “Why?”

It was a logical question.

He looked up at me with those big blue eyes and pouting lips. “I don’t want you to be in trouble any more because of me.”

Now I was really confused.

“Think, he does, that taking him as Padawan has landed you in deep poodoo with us,” Yoda explained. Then he chuckled and went back to his seat.

I sensed Anakin’s confusion, and had to smile slightly. Now it was all too clear. He thought I was in trouble for taking him as my apprentice against the wishes of the Council, so he thought if he withdrew, he’d be helping me. I’m not sure what gave him that impression, but his intended sacrifice on my behalf touched me. I gently squeezed his shoulder before addressing the Council, “Well, since it was your idea that he should not be trained, and I took him as my learner against your wishes, his withdrawal is between him and me. Thank you for the information, though.” I bowed to them.

I looked on in stony silence as they raised their collective eyebrows.

“Will you still train him,” Master Windu asked.

“Only if he wishes to remain with me,” I replied. “I cannot force him to learn.”

“Of course not. You can only lead a nerf to water. You cannot make him drink it,” Master Mundi observed.

“Stiff necked and rebellious, you are, Master Jinn.”

“I only follow the will of The Force. You only see the negative side in young Skywalker, and ignore the good in him. You do him a great injustice.”

“We did not bring you here to argue,” Mace Windu stated. “Master Yoda brought this matter to our attention because the boy initiated the withdrawal with him instead of speaking with you.”

“His intended self sacrifice on your behalf, whether or not misguided, shows he has qualities befitting a Jedi,” Master Poof remarked.

Yoda nodded. “Willingness to learn and compassion, he also has. Both, admirable traits these are.”

Mace cut to the chase. “Anakin, do you want to be a Jedi?”

The boy looked up at me, and I smiled down at him and gave him a nudge forward.

“Yes, sir,” he answered as he looked Master Windu in the eyes.

Mace, for his part looked over at Master Yoda who declared, “Then Jedi you will be, young Skywalker. Qui-Gon’s Padawan, you are, since he has chosen you. However, on missions you may not go until you have taken the Initiate training courses and passed the tests.”

“Thank you, sir!” The boy bowed.

I could feel Anakin’s relief and elation even before he turned his head and smiled brightly up at me. We were dismissed shortly after that, and while we made our way back to the Healer’s ward, I asked him what made him think quitting would help me.

He told me he’d overheard a conversation between Obi-Wan and myself while we traveled to Naboo with Queen Amidala. The one where Obi-Wan, who was still my Padawan at the time, said training Anakin was dangerous. Obi-Wan had apologised later, but, neither of realized the boy had heard us.

“Am I dangerous, sir?”

Again, he looked up at me with those innocent blue eyes. “No more dangerous than any Jedi, Anakin. We each have potential for good and evil. It is up to each of us to choose which path we take.”

He nodded.

Tomorrow he will be assigned to a clan and live amongst his fellow initiates. I hope his status as my Padawan will not make him too much an outcast.

 

Nice to see you doing a double diary and tag please

 

Ooh, wonderful great emotions and nice double perspective on how each feels.

 

I really like seeing things from both of their POV's! It's interesting to see things from a child's eyes and an adults.
Great start, I look forward to reading more!

 

earlybird-obi-wan Thank you

@ Jade_eyes hehe, yeah, you'll get not only a certain point of view.

mavjade hm... you just gave me an idea... plot bunnies coming in the form of reader's comments... never know when those little critters will appear.

~~~​

Entry 3​

Anakin: I should be sleeping, but my head is too full. I can’t stop thinking.

I’m finally a Jedi! Just the thought of it makes me want to jump up and down and yell in triumph, but I don’t think that’s quite the proper response.

Anyway, after the Council decided to let me be a Padawan/Initiate, Master Jinn spoke to me all afternoon. Well, spoke may be the wrong word to use, as he... well, I guess it’s right because he spoke in my mind. You see, since I’m officially his apprentice, he initiated what he called a training bond between us. It enables us to speak to each other without talking. More than that, it also made it so that I can sense him more than anyone else. I mean, I can sense people through the Force when I concentrate, but Master I can feel... like he’s a part of me now... and I’m a part of him. It’s kind of scary. I mean, how can I keep secrets from him? I mean, I feel like he can see everything about me. I’m afraid he won’t like some things he sees in me. I’m not quite sure I know which things those are.

Yet, at the same time, I feel like he accepts me... and even likes me... no matter what.

I just don’t want to let him down. He has so much faith in me.

Tomorrow I’m gonna be tested to see what all I know and can do so they can put me in the classes I need to be in. I’ll also be assigned to a “clan”. Master told me a clan is a group of Initiates who live together... they’re kind of like brothers and sisters. I’m a little nervous about this. Whichever clan I get assigned to, they all know each other since they were younglings, and I’ll be some stranger... an intruder.

This may sound a little strange, but piloting a podracer is easier than being a Jedi. With podracing, all you have to do is get to the finish line ahead of everyone else. I’m not sure where the finish line is as a Jedi... or if there even is one.

Note: I was interrupted in my writing... a good thing... by Master Jinn. It seems my needing the light to write disturbed his sleep. He wasn’t angry about it. He actually welcomed the intrusion so he could talk to me. He knew I was nervous about tomorrow. He told me to not worry about impressing anyone. He said I belong here, no matter what anyone else thinks. He also said I am a good person, and that anyone who can’t see it isn’t worth impressing anyway. It made me laugh the way he said it, but, it made sense. Master is very wise. I guess he has to be or he wouldn’t be a Master.

Well, I’m tired so I’ll write more tomorrow.

Qui-Gon: Well, they finally let me out of the healer’s ward today. It’s nice to be in my own quarters.

I’m trying not to think too much about Anakin. I’m sure he’s going to do just fine. In fact, in some subjects I’m confident he will excel in. It’s not his scholastic tests I’m concerned about. He was nervous last night about going to live with the initiates. Though Jedi children tend to be more disciplined, they are still children... and children can be cruel to outsiders. The boy has had enough cruelty in his life. I pray he finds at least friendship among whichever clan he’s assigned to, if not true brotherhood.

Well, I'm going to go to my physical therapy session. Thankfully, T'ra Saa is allowing me to take it in the Room of a Thousand Fountains instead of in the ward. There is no need for a sterile environment. It's not like I'm ill.

​

 

Great setting for physical therapy And yes, I can understand Anakin's qualms, and I agree: he's known more than enough cruelty and just because he can "Handle himself" doesn't mean he doesn't deserve warm camaraderie and harmless pranking as he bonds with his age-mates or initiates who have compassion. And condescension, "I'm smarter" or "I'm better" is just as bullying as anything physical if not more. Your posts always make me loquacious, because your characters read so real.

 

love Anakin's thoughts.
And Qui-Gon and healers and his trying not to think about Anakin

 

Glad to see Anakin being kept busy while Qui-Gon is healing.

That should keep him out of trouble.....maybe

Great update

 

@Jade_eyes I'm glad I can make them real for you. ​

​

@earlybird-obi-wan Thanks​

​

@KELIA hehe, perhaps.​

​

Entry 4​

Anakin: Well, most of the tests were pretty easy except for history. Mom didn’t teach me about any of the stuff that the questions covered, and the spacers I heard stories from never really spoke about history. I had to guess most of the answers. The tests took most of the morning to finish.

Then I was introduced to the Bergruutfa Clan. Besides me, there are five of them, and Master Windu is the steward... which means he oversees our teachings. Though I was nervous, I took the advice I gave Jar Jar after Sebulba attacked him... “Be less afraid.” To tell you the truth, I was just hungry and ready for lunch. I guess the others were too, because when my stomach growled rather loudly in the middle of introductions, Zyra Tomu giggled and asked Master Windu if we could finish introductions while eating. Zyra is nice, but her favorite food (raw meat) is rather disgusting. I think we can become friends. The others in the clan are nice, too, except I’m not sure about Kremji... he is kind of standoffish, and the only one that wouldn’t shake my hand. Funny thing is though, I didn’t sense any hostility from him. Zyra said he just didn’t like being touched. Though I still don’t feel like I totally belong, I think things will be okay.

I miss Qui-Gon, though.

Qui-Gon: This afternoon I officially parted ways with Obi-Wan as Master and Padawan. He will be a great Jedi Knight and serve the Order well. I just hope he learns to lighten up some. He’s always so serious except for quips in the rare occasions we go into battle. He needs to learn to bend, or he may snap like a twig. I’m sure he’ll learn as he goes out on his own. Though a Jedi learns the the basics as an initiate and the training is fleshed out in the teacher/learner roll between Master/Padawan, the learning process never stops... not as a knight, nor as a master. I think I learned just as much from Obi-Wan as he learned from me, if not more.

I feel like a proud father watching his son graduate from a university.

Speaking of sons... as I sit here in my quarters, I find it too quiet. I miss the fidgeting Anakin always did, even in his sleep. However, he’s where he needs to be for now.

 

Glad Anakin had a somewhat smooth and pleasant transition to the new environment. Not surprised he and Qui-Gon miss each other Is this a permanent thing, or will they still share missions?

 

Author deleted comments because of an accidental double post!

My apologies.

 

Jade_eyes remember, it was mention in the second entry, Yoda announced he wasn't able to go on missions until after he took the initiate training and past the tests. It'll be 2-4 years before he can go on official missions with Qui-Gon.

KELIA, earlybird-obi-wan, mavjade

Entry 5​

Anakin: This morning the others in the clan went off to their classes. I haven’t been assigned yet. Master Windu suggested I explore the temple... go meditate in the gardens or study in the library. Well, meditating is boring, and I already have explored every inch of the temple I’m allowed to go (to tell you the truth, I snuck in to a couple of the places I wasn’t supposed to go, except I couldn’t get into that big vault in the library... I wonder what’s there). I also already did some research in the library while Qui-Gon was in the healer’s ward and there was nothing else for me to do... I looked up how to construct a lightsaber and learned what I needed. It didn’t look too hard. Wouldn’t it be great to make Master Jinn proud by making my own lightsaber? None of the others in the clan has made theirs yet. I just need to find parts. So, I decided to go to a junk yard... there’s plenty of them on Coruscant. In fact, there’s one not too far from the Jedi temple on the lower levels.

I had found a few promising parts and had put them in the pack I brought with me when I sensed someone staring at me. I turned to see Masters Windu and Jinn looking at me with their arms crossed over their chests. Neither one looked very happy.

I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to go outside the Temple. Master Windu gave me a stern warning, and assigned me refresher duty for a week. I don’t know what the big deal is. I was only a few blocks from the Temple, and where I was was no more dangerous than Mos Espa.

Qui-Gon: Mace and I caught Anakin scavenging for parts in a scrap yard not too far from the temple. I’m concerned he isn’t taking the warning Mace gave him about not leaving the Temple without permission seriously. I know the boy is used to being rather independent... as far as a slave can be, that is. When he wasn’t working at Watto’s shop, he had the run of Mos Espa during the day. I told Mace my concerns, and he said he’d keep an eye on him.

I wonder what the parts Anakin was gathering are for. Surely he isn’t building a droid or a podracer. When I asked, he just shrugged and said, “To make stuff.”

 

Excellent post showing how Anakin isn't used to stricter comings and goings. He's precocious all right but I know his lightsaber will be a cool one

 

Anakin has always been different and you are showing this in the diary. Great post

 

Ack! I missed some entries... I'm really sorry! They've all been great!

Poor Anakin, he just wants the Masters (particularly Qui-Gon) and he gets in trouble. You can't blame the guy for not being used to such situations.
I hope he manages to make his lightsaber without blowing anything up, LOL!

Great posts! I look forward to more!

 

Well...I guess...I can, uh, appreciate this - though I can tell it really doesn't include Obi-Wan. <heavy sigh> But then, when something's so well written, well, I guess I can make an exception and read this.

/

 

Jade_eyes Yeah, there is much Anakin needs to adapt to in the Temple.

earlybird-obi-wan Thanks, and yes, Anakin is different, but still he holds similarities that everyone can relate to.

mavjade no need to apologize... I'm behind in reading everyone else's diaries and other stories, so know how it is. LOL Oh, he won't blow anything up while making the lightsaber

Valairy Scot Thank you for that rich compliment. You should be thrilled with this next entry.

~~~

Entry 6​

Anakin: Well, I received my class schedule today and will start classes tomorrow. My classes are: Basic Galactic History; Basic Programming; Advanced Mechanics; Intermediate Calculations; Navigation (land, sea and astral); Self Defense; Lightsaber Training; and three linguistics classes.

I wish I could start today. I’m bored with all the rest of the clan off to their classes. I snuck out of the Temple again after I performed refresher duty... there ought to be a better way to clean the refresher... it’s disgusting! Anyway, I didn’t get caught this time, and now I have most of the parts I need except for the focusing crystals and the mechanism for a safety switch (I don’t want to accidentally turn on or off my lightsaber at an inconvenient time).

Well, when I said I didn’t get caught, that isn’t exactly true. When I was coming back into the Temple from the lower level (apparently, that door is only supposed to be accessed from the inside, but I managed to pick it... a slave’s life is full of useful lessons, I guess), Obi-Wan was in the corridor a couple meters from the door. I didn’t see him at first as I was making sure the door was locked, but then he greeted me. He sounded... and looked... surprised. He asked me what I was doing.

I blushed and looked down at my feet and mumbled something about collecting stuff.

“What kind of ‘stuff’ are you collecting,” he asked.

I shrugged. Even though Master Jinn told me Obi-Wan had apologized about his first reaction to him training me, I felt uneasy. I didn’t think he liked me much. While Qui-Gon was recuperating in the hospital at Naboo, then in the Healer’s ward here at the Temple, he spent a little time with us, but didn’t really say much to me.

“Anakin, I’d like to be your friend.”

I looked up at him. It was my turn to be surprised. I guess the look on my face was kind of funny, because he grinned and I saw his shoulder heaving a little like he was laughing, but there wasn’t much sound... he laughs quietly... really weird. In spite of that though, I didn’t think he was laughing at me. I’m afraid I stuttered when I said, “I’d like that.”

We went to one of the cafeterias to eat lunch... one that the initiates don’t go to because it’s on a different level and area than where the classes are held (there are four dining halls/cafeterias in the Temple... it’s a large place). I felt funny because there weren’t any people my age there... they were all knights and masters and a few padawans... though there were only about twenty Jedi eating there at the time, and this dining hall could seat over a hundred.

Anyway, while we ate, I confessed to Obi-Wan what I was collecting and that I wanted to surprise Master Jinn by making my lightsaber. “So, please, don’t tell him about this!”

Obi-Wan shook his head and said, “Wow,” and took a couple more big bites of his sandwich.

“What?” I thought he disapproved about something I said.

He swallowed his latest mouthful before chuckling. “You remind me of when I first became his Padawan. I was always trying to prove myself worthy... make him proud that he chose me.”

“Really?” This surprised me. Obi-Wan seemed to be so confident. Well, I guess he is now. I mean, he’s a Knight. He’s proved himself... also he was raised here at the Temple... I wonder if all initiates who become a Padawan try as hard to make their Masters proud of them.

“Don’t worry about impressing him, Anakin... or anyone else for that matter. Just be open to learning everything you can from everyone here... even your fellow initiates and Padawans. In fact, right now, the best lessons you can learn are from your clanmates.”

“Then why do I have so many classes,” I asked.

He laughed. “Those are important too, but I was talking more about life lessons. Classes can only teach you stuff you learn here, and are important for everyone, but...” He tapped my head, then said as he pointed to my chest, “here is where we learn what we need to know as individuals... it is where we grow in the Force.”

He’s given me alot to think about.

This is going to sound strange... but there’s something about Obi-Wan that feels familiar. It’s like he’s my brother sort of. Maybe it’s because we both share a bond with Master Jinn. I don’t know.

Qui-Gon: I saw Anakin and Obi-Wan talking together in the dining hall today. I didn’t wish to disturb them so I just got my meal in a bag and took it to my quarters to eat. There’s a bond forming between the two of them. This is good. I think they can learn from each other.

This bond between them though... there’s something I sense that seems strange. It is like they are related... not in anyway connected to the bonds I have with each of them individually, nor in a budding friendship way... it’s like they are connected in some way only the Force knows. I sense it is something important, and it is something Anakin needs. This is good.

 

Very nice conversation and wise advice Glad they can and/or will become friends.

 

Let's hope Qui-Gon is correct - that this forming bond IS good and something Anakin needs (to keep him out of trouble and away from the dark).

I always like stories where Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Ani-Wan Anakin get along.

 

Love Anakin together with Obi-Wan and the forming friendship

 

Jade_eyes Valairy Scot earlybird-obi-wan mavjade KELIA

Entry 7​

Anakin: I just had a nightmare. I woke up Kremji, Gar and Zisho whom I share a bedroom with, because I was screaming in my sleep. Zisho woke me up by throwing his pillow at me. At least it was a pillow and not something that could actually hurt. Anyway, I apologized to them, and when they asked me what I was dreaming, I told them I couldn’t remember.

That was a lie.

I just didn’t feel comfortable sharing it. It was such a strange nightmare. It felt real and not real at the same time. Maybe writing it down will calm me and help me figure out what it means... if there is any meaning in it at all... so I brought my journal out here to the main room so I can write it down without disturbing the others.

I was walking between Master Jinn and mom, and we were all laughing and talking. It was real nice. We were happy. Then suddenly, Obi-Wan was standing in front of us with his hands folded across his chest. He looked angry.

He said, “They’re mine. I had them first.” Suddenly, he had mom behind him, and he was holding her wrist really tight, and he drew his lightsaber. And I was in between him and Master Jinn when Master drew his lightsaber.

Then it became dark... I couldn’t see anything but mom, Obi-Wan and Master Jinn.

Then a loud voice came out of nowhere and said, “I don’t care who has the woman, but the boy is mine!”

Then it felt like an invisible hand was carrying me away from mom, Obi-Wan and Master Jinn. I was screaming for them to help me, but Obi-Wan and Master Jinn were dueling each other and mom was laying down... she looked like she was sleeping... but there was no color in her cheeks and her lips were blue.

Then I saw nothing and the bodiless voice said, “If you serve me, you will be the most powerful Jedi of all time.”

That was all...

Even re-reading it, I can’t make sense of it, but I can’t get rid of those images or these questions: Why would Obi-Wan say he had me and mom first when I met Qui-Gon first? Why were Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan fighting when I was in danger? What happened to my mom? Whose voice was that speaking, and why was he taking me away from them?

Maybe I should ask someone, but who? I’d feel strange telling Master Jinn or Obi-Wan about it because it was about them. Master Windu, perhaps? He did say when he took me into the Bergruutfa Clan that I could come to him if there was anything I needed to talk about. I’ll wait ‘til later... it’s 1:34 am right now. I’ll try going back to sleep.

6am: I had the nightmare again, and the others weren’t too happy with me waking them up twice in one night screaming in terror. Even as I was apologizing, Master Windu came into the room.

I guess I woke him, too.

He looked rather annoyed... until Kremji told him I was having nightmares. Then it seemed his face changed... he almost looked like Master Jinn... I mean, my master always looks gentle and understanding... Master Windu, well, he looks rather stern most of the time. He told me to come with him, and of course I obeyed.

No one disobeys a Jedi Master... especially not Master Windu!

He took me to the room of a thousand fountains... it’s very peaceful there. We were sitting on a bench by this one fountain that had some statues of naked kids splashing each other... really, water was coming out of their hands randomly and would arch up and then splash another statue on some random part of its body. They all looked like they were laughing. All I could think was on Tatooine that fountain and all it's water would fetch a lot of dactaries!

Anyway, Master Windu waited for me to start talking. He was real patient, cause I think it was something like thirty minutes before I began telling him of the dream.

After I finished, he asked me what I thought it meant. I still wasn't sure because much of it didn't make sense at all. However, I was able to tell him how I felt about Master Qui-Gon and Obi-wan... It's kind of like we're a family without a mom... Master is the father, and Obi-wan and me are his sons.

It's funny, as soon as I admitted that, I felt better. Maybe it was because Master Windu actually smiled when I said it.

He told me sometimes dreams don't really have any literal meanings but that it was our mind's way of sorting out feelings. He then asked me if I felt afraid of losing my new family.

The question made my chest hurt. I couldn't say anything 'cause there was a big lump in my throat. I nodded.

I thought he was going to lecture me about attachments, but all he did was put an arm around my shoulders and said, rest your mind, young Skywalker."

Next thing I remember is waking up with my head in Master Windu's lap.

He looked down at me and asked if I felt better. And I nodded.

I really did, too.

Then he told me we should get back to the crèche room because the rest should be getting up soon

Though we didn't say anything else, I realized I no longer was afraid of losing my new family because it was bigger than just Master, Obi-wan and me.

All the Jedi are my family.

I still miss mom, though.

Qui-Gon: I didn't sleep well last night. I sensed Anakin was disturbed. It took all my self control not to go to the crèche area.

As it was, I had to go take a walk, as I could not get to sleep, nor could I lose myself in meditation. I wound up going to the map room and I brought up Tatooine. I sat on the floor with that desert planet hovering above me, and found myself meditating at last. It was about 6am when I came out of the map room with a plan.

I will free Shmi. It will take a while... perhaps several years... but she will be freed.

It will take a bit of dishonesty on my part, but I'm willing to live with that.

 

Yay for Mace's assurances but that dream creeped me out :shock: and to have it twice!!! I'm glad Anakin feels like he has a bigger family though (I can just bet that was Palps as the villain of the dream though)