Saga "Phoenix from the Flames" PT/ A/A - - Set before Episode Three UPDATE 3/12, orig char coming soon!

LOL No problem, my young padawan !

I'm surprised more people haven't discovered this epic story !

 

Trying to catch up here!!!

WOW!! Your story is moving right along. I loved the scene with Padme and Anakin, you think everythings cool and their gonna you know. And Bam!! Just Anakin's luck she has to run out on him. So what does any civil guy do when his woman runs out on him (especially at a momment like that) YOU GO HAVE A DRINK!!! Anakin drunk!! I loved it!! Then the thief and the chase. I believe Anakin has found his apprentice. Just like Qui-Gon he sees something in this boy.

And the scene with Tyranus and the chess was awesome!!!!! I didn't see that coming till you said his name. And I was like WOW!!! Cause Dooku is one of my favorites.

Keep up the great job DARTH ARWEN!!!!

 

Great to see this story is finally getting some recognition ! Nice comments, Stardog !

 

Good post! I liked the mention of Watto.

 

In my considered opinion, this wonderful piece of fan fiction deserves to be up on the front page

Up you go, my little beauty ! Spread your wings and fly like an angel !

 

I was just reading through the latest chapter again and I picked up on a really great line, that I failed to mention in my previous analysis.

?Everything, absolutely everything.?

This comes from Anakin and it really gives us a great insight into his character. He really seems to crave power ( even at an almost subconscious level, without even really knowing what he is doing ) and he makes "everything" his business.

So far in this story, you have managed to include so much great character insight.

 

I think this story needs some "energy puffs" to get it back up onto the front page !

 

I'm just going to up this story one last time, just in case anyone has missed the latest chapter

 

Nicely done, DarthArwen. I really liked the way you brought up Anakin's memories of slavery and Watto. I'm looking to do more of that in the future of WIK. I'm really intrigued by this young Force sensitive that the Jedi missed, he'a mystery much like my nameless padawan. [face-wink] Can't wait to see what else you come up with, and how this ties to Dooku, Sidious and the attack on Sabe. Keep up the great work, and more soon!


JD.

 

I'm really enjoying this story, DarthArwen. Anakin really needs to get hold of that temper--he should have just offered to go with Padme to rescue Sabe. He should know she'd want to go after her.

Can't wait to see what you do with this.

 

Impressive, most impressive!
Kimberley

 

It's really nice to see this story getting the recognition that it deserves

 

Up you go !

 

wow great story DarthArwen im not the long review kind of reader, so i'll just leave it here. Great job!

 

*force levitates thread* There...Up where you belong!

 

Thanks for your comments everyone! I apologise for my distinct lack of posts for what seems like centuries! I had a band contest last Saturday which meant rehearsals every night, so I have been occupied elsewhere. Also I had my driving test last Thurs, which I passed thankfully! Freedom! Waho!

Star-Dog - So what does any civil guy do when his woman runs out on him? I have NO idea! LOL! You'll just have to wait and see about the boy...thanks for the lovely comments! Hope to read more from you soon!

Keeper-of-Swords - Thanks! I hope you'll conintue to read this story, even with my lack of any sort of posting schedule!LOL!

JDH3 - Your comments are very much appreciated! I hope to hear more from WIK soon too!

anakin_girl - Can't wait to see what you do with this - Neither can I! LOL! I'm just going where the events and characters take me!

Vader - Impressive, most impressive! Why thank you Lord Vader! Comments from such a "formidable foe" are very rare!LOL!

Lieutenant_Jaina - I appreciate all reviews, even short ones! Thanks for the up too!


Any more comments? Anyone lurking feel free to review?

Anyway, just to let you all know (if you are still out there!LOL!) that there will be a post within the next couple of days. The chapter is with my "editor-in chief" now (you know who you are...Darth-Walken!).

 

Just dropped in to deliver a well deserved UP! Glad to hear that a new post is on the horizon- I can't wait!

BTW: I've been writing up a storm for WIK, so I hope it won't be long. Anyway, if you're in need of a WIK fix, I have a suggestion. The last link in my signature is a WIK tie-in piece. Zero pressure of course, but as I said it is in the same universe as WIK.


JD.

 

Up you go !

 

Well it's finally here guys! I've actually gotten around to posting a new chapter! Shock horror! LOL! Thanks againto all those kind enough to review.

Special thanks to my "editor-in-chief", Darth-Walken The Force will be with you my friend...always

Chapter Six

Padme Skywalker stormed into the Jedi Temple ignoring pleas from a security guard stationed outside.

?Miss, you can?t come in here! You?re not authorised!? he shouted, pressing the security button on his desk. A brown haired man stepped in front of the guard before he could run after the young woman.

?It?s okay, I?ll handle this.?

The guard retreated reluctantly, a frown on his face.
?Senator Amidala. What in the blazes are you doing here?!? called a familiar voice.

The young Senator turned on her heels to face the Jedi.

?Master Obi-Wan. It is my belief that you have one of my handmaidens in your care, she was attacked earlier today?I am looking for the Healers? she blurted out of breath.

?I?m sorry m?lady I hadn?t heard. Let me show you the way?, he offered. Placing a hand gently on her shoulder he began to guide her down the long hallway.

Several Jedi looked inquisitively at the pair as they made their way down the hallways of the Temple.

?I spoke to Anakin earlier?, he remarked, trying to make conversation with the young lady.

Padme?s eyes flashed with fear for a brief moment. Her stomach turned in knots and her shoulders stiffened.

?I hear he?s doing well?, he continued, studying her pale face.
She swallowed hard.

?That?s wonderful to hear. Wish him well from me next time you see him.?

Obi-Wan furrowed his eyebrows. There was something she wasn?t telling him, he could sense it. Before he could question her further they arrived at the Healer Wards.

Obi-Wan approached the Jedi sat at the main desk.

?Excuse me, could you tell me where the young handmaiden who was attacked earlier today is??

Suspicious eyes studied the young Senator. Obi-Wan noticed the glance and gestured for Padme to step forward.

?This is Senator Amidala from Naboo. It was her maiden who was injured, now if you please?, urged the Jedi.

?Certainly? spoke the Jedi, typing something into his datapad. Sliding off his seat he waved his hand towards the pair.

?Follow me.?

Obi-Wan left the room shutting the door quietly behind him. He felt it best to allow the Senator some time alone with her friend. She was evidently very upset about the day?s events and as much as he sympathised with the young maiden, just being in the Healers made his skin crawl with old memories. He remembered the first time he had brought Anakin in with a minor burn from lightsaber training.

?There you go young Ani, as good as new!? reassured the young padawan Healer.

?Yippee!?

Anakin prodded the bandage on his arm with a large grin on his face.

?And it didn?t hurt one bit?, he stated matter-of-factly, a smug look crossing his features.

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes.

?Now if you would be so kind Master Kenobi, there are a few minor details you must attend to before you both can leave? instructed the Jedi, leading Obi-Wan from the ward.

Obi-Wan sighed resolutely as he was whisked away from his padawan.

?Why is it that every time I visit this Force-forsaken place I end up knee deep in paper work?, he muttered as he went out the door.

Anakin took immediate advantage of the opportunity and began to fiddle with several devices left on the treatment tray by the Healer. Inquisitive eyes caught sight of a particularly odd-looking contraption. Grasping it with eager fingers he brought it up to his eye line to inspect it.

?Anakin!?

Dropping the device to the floor in surprise the young padawan jumped as his master came storming in.

Evidently the paper work hadn?t taken as long as expected.

?Master! Um, it?s not what it looks like! I didn?t touch anything honest!? blurted Anakin.

Obi-Wan walked towards him, a stern look on his face.

 

This was great, DarthArwen! I wish I had time for a longer review, but my time is a little short at the moment. Anyway, I'll be back, but until then..UP!


JD.

 

Another excellent installment, my young apprentice

I particularly enjoyed the flashback in the Healer Wards detailing the incident from Anakin's youthful days. It provided some much needed comic relief, in an otherwise dark and tense chapter.

The argument between Anakin and Obi Wan was very well written.

"This has nothing to do with you Obi-Wan" he snarled, his voice dangerously quiet."

Again, we see that Anakin thinks of himself as all powerful. In his arrogance, he refuses to listen to the help and advice of others, including his former master.

I also love the juxtoposition of the words "dangerously" and "quiet". Surely this sums up Anakin's whole persona ! The quiet, handsome exerior, hiding such dark and troubled thoughts within !

Ironically, he then goes on to accuse Obi Wan of being self centred and egotistical.

"Me, me, me?it?s always about you isn?t it Obi-Wan?"


Yet as the chapter ends, we clearly see that he does indeed need the help of others. He is somewhat child like here, and he needs Padme to look after him.

"Padme sighed again as she began to guide her husband back to her apartment."

By this chapter's conclusion, the night has come full circle. Anakin started off in Padme's apartment, and that is where he returns. It seems to me, that this chapter marks the end of a significant act. From here, there are so many narrative possibilities, as we head into the new dawn. What will the morning bring ? What will become of the boy ? What will Anakin's assignment be ?

I can't wait to see how this story continues

Keep up the great work !

 

Keep up the good work. I hope Anakin will listen to Obi-Wan more closely, but sadly I don't think that is in the future. Great job!

 

I refuse to let this story slip down to the second page

Up you go !

 

Something else that impresses me about this latest chapter, is the way in which you convey Padme's fear at being found out.

"Padme?s eyes flashed with fear for a brief moment. Her stomach turned in knots and her shoulders stiffened.

?I hear he?s doing well?, he continued, studying her pale face.

She swallowed hard.

?That?s wonderful to hear. Wish him well from me next time you see him."


I thought this little section was very well written I could almost feel Padme's fear. It took me right back to the infamous fireplace scene in AOTC, when Padme talked about "living a lie".

 

Great work! Can't wait for the next chappy! Loved the interaction between Anakin and Obi-Wan in that last chapter, great form!!