Before Picture of the Month - Vignette Series - QGJ, OWK, YD, OCs - 3/18/11

Title: Picture of the Month
Author: The_Nerfherder
Timeframe: Pre-TPM forward ...
Genre: Humor
Disclaimer: The usual.


Picture of the Month: Episode 1


?Why are we going down, Master? I thought we had a meeting.?

?We do. We are going to the supply rooms. I believe we could use hand soap, Padawan.?

?We don?t need hand soap!?

Qui-Gon shot a glance at his Padawan. ?Oh, contraire, Padawan. We do.?

?The cleaning droids-?

?Do not enter into our concerns. We have a need for hand soap.?

Obi-Wan considered for a moment in silence. It was the droids? job ? unless it was not for a normal purpose that his Master was in need of hand soap. Their appointment was with a senator, and Qui-Gon hated politicians.

Kenobi didn?t mind; he disliked politicians almost as much, if not more, the only difference being that Kenobi would never have deliberately kept the senator waiting. He followed his Master down to the bottom of the turbo lift, at the bottom of which was the supply rooms. It opened into a large room, with a number of metal crates with labels on the sides stacked into a few corners, a hall branching off in one direction and a door leading in another.

Qui-Gon glanced at Obi-Wan. ?I?ll just be a minute.? He turned, stepped into the hallway and started for one of the doors along its length ? one halfway down.

Obi-Wan grinned. Are you sure, Master? Last time you said ?

I mean what I say, Padawan. You must make exceptions for instances where your sanity dictates deviation from the preset plan.

Of course, Master. The younger man couldn?t contain his laughter through the bond, although physically he remained the serene Jedi Padawan.

About thirty seconds had passed since Qui-Gon stepped into the hallway. Obi-Wan could see his Master walk into the door he had chosen. He unclipped his lightsaber from his belt and hefted it a few times, admiring the feel of it. It was a new one, its construction only completed in the last day.

Qui-Gon had promised they would have a good sparring session after their meeting with the senator.

The youth decided to surprise Qui-Gon when he came back, so he stepped into the janitorial closet ? he assumed that was what it was ? and stood tensely at the closed door, listening for the slightest sound.

Thus, when something rattled in the ventilation shafts above his head, he jumped so badly he dropped his lightsaber.

It was then that Obi-Wan discovered the magnetic properties of his lightsaber, for it flew under a large machine.

Large, square, and about four inches above the floor, it hummed constantly and seemed to vibrate. It gave off a degree of warmth. There were two others like it in the room, hence the stifling atmosphere of the tiny, cramped room. It was not this machine, in and of itself, that disturbed the Padawan. It was the fact that his lightsaber had gone underneath of the thing.

It seemed odd, to begin with, that his lightsaber was apparently magnetic, until he realized that the machine possessed vents and ducts of its own, which were made of a material known to have that sort of effect on most other metals.

Thus it wasn?t the lightsaber itself that was magnetic. But he would have to get down on the floor and call it straight out with the Force, or risk its getting inextricably entangled in the workings of the machine.

He hesitated but a moment before removing his robe. This he tossed toward the side counter he saw to one side, and not getting any warning from the Force, was horrified to hear a splash.

He?d missed. The robe ? the new robe ? was fallen into an open bucket filled nigh to the brim with a suspiciously hued liquid.

He would have to retrieve it later ? his immediate concern was his lightsaber. And what could it hurt, anyway? It couldn?t damage the robe ?

Then his tunics and obi he removed, and set them carefully on the counter, neatly folded. He got down on his hands and knees and practically plastered his face to the dust-ridden floor before he could physically see his lightsaber, although he could easily sense it in the

Hah! Quite some day!

I think pink rather suits a Padawan of Obi-Wan's prestige This was so much fun to read!

Valairy_Scot: Yes. Yes it was.

Cade_Cryocharger: I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you continue to enjoy.


Picture of the Month: Episode 2


White light filtered through the high windows and scattered across the dark-grained wood floor. The solemn expressions on the faces around him were sobering. The stage was dramatically set, and he couldn?t believe that he was doing this.

Nothing in all of his years had prepared him for this ? not in the crèche, not as a youngling initiate vying for a Master?s attention, not as a Padawan at Master Dooku?s side, not as a Jedi Knight ? not even as a Jedi Master, with his own Padawans.

It had been a routine mission, as a whole. A directive from the Council, telling him to go to the little planet of Redina V, had sent him here to negotiate a treaty between the four bands of the Catapirae: the Catuu, the Sital, the Runan, and the Ediral.

Four bands of a people who were, in total, close to the heart of the Force, as he saw it. They loved nature. They lived for it, bathed themselves in its warm glow, basked in it day and night.

On that level, he envied them, but he did not envy their utter failure to comprehend the Force. Never in its two thousand year history had one Force sensitive been found or reported among the Catapirae, and they were happy with that ? even proud of it.

The four bands of the Catapirae were all pleasant, peace-loving people. It was a point of pride with them that they never once intermarried, in that same history of two thousand years.

So when Lord Wiatanno Kiable?, Chief Lord of the Catuu, took the daughter of a Runan tribal lord and married her, it caused considerable uproar.

Ultimately, it came down to bringing the two factions ? the Catuu/Sital and the Runan/Ediral ? back together. It was a daunting task. The Runan would have been happy with taking the woman back at first, but since she had been married to Lord Kiable?, they wanted the woman back, but with his head. Since marriage among the Catapirae was a powerful bond, once a couple was married there could be no divorce; ?till death do us part? was taken very seriously.

Qui-Gon glanced over the shadowed floor that stretched away from the central stage, bathed with light. Obi-Wan was out there somewhere, he knew.

The father of the bride and a few of his friends were the only remaining holdouts. While the rest of the Catapirae had agreed that they could accept the first marriage between bands with a Jedi presiding over the official ceremony, Qui-Gon was almost certain that Lord Ipane? would be leading a revolt.

So today, here he stood, waiting for the official hum-drum to get over with, waiting to stand in the ever-more glaring sunlight and lead a couple through vows that were to himself forbidden.

Obi-Wan had never been part of the negotiations. The Catapirae all agreed that a young one like him did not belong with the men in their talks. Qui-Gon had barely convinced them to let him sit in the corner and listen, and it was by the skin of his teeth that he got his apprentice into the Great Hall where the wedding would be held to guard against interruption of the ceremony.

Qui-Gon glanced down at his clothes with an inner sigh. The native ceremonial garb was foreign, and he would have liked the familiarity of his Jedi robes, but they had all agreed, once again, that if he wore the special tunics of the Catuu and the pants of the Runan, it would be acceptable. A beautiful symbolism, they called it.

At least it was comfortable. It was made of a fabric made from the fine, soft root of a special plant. The gold-trimmed deep blue of the tunic and the earthy brown of the pants wasn?t bad together. He could do without his boots, but he wished they could?ve left him his lightsaber ?

It could be worse. It had been worse. There was the mission on Agattan, for example.

He was glad Obi-Wan hadn?t seen it yet, for some odd reason. It was mildly embarrassing, being a Jedi Master and being unable to mind-trick his way into keeping his bloody boots.

It?s just for

Loved this. Jinn and lifeforms is always entertaining

Too funny!

No such luck. Obi-Wan, still laughing, said, ?Wait right there, Master! I?ll be right back!? and ran off. Qui-Gon could sense his Padawan?s Force presence in the next room ? he wasn?t bothering to shield anymore. He was looking for something ? scissors? No. He passed them by. Looking, looking ? AHA! A ? holocamera.

?AGH! PADAWAN! IF YOU-?

Beep.

The evil beep that was probably the entire plot for this story.

Brilliant job! I can hardly wait for Episode III.

Hmmm...I wonder who will bear the brunt of the jokes in the next one?

These are hilarious! PM me when you put up another post, please?

Raptor517

earlybird-obi-wan: Yes, it is a good combination. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Cade_Cryocharger: Thank you! As for being unable to wait for the next one: well, here it is. Right on schedule. Glad you liked it! I hope Ep. 3 lives up to your expectations.

Raptor517: Thanks. Of course. Consider yourself officially on the PM list.


Picture of the Month: Episode 3


It was a beautiful summer afternoon. The Temple was quieter than usual, most of the younglings and Padawans either in their classes, basking in the warm sunshine, or simply allowing the amicable quiet to persist.

The doors of the turbo lift that led to the Temple hangars slid open with a soft hiss and a tall Master stepped out, followed closely by his Padawan.

?Why don?t you meet me in the cafeteria, Padawan? I need to give my report to the Council.? The Master glanced at the young man walking beside him, appraising him with veiled concern in his blue eyes. ?I think you should get a decent meal in you and get some sleep.?

The youth glanced sidelong at his mentor with a mischievous grin, his dark eyes sparkling. ?Shall I tell them to start the caf to boiling and fire up the pizza ovens??

He was rewarded with a grin that vied with his Master?s stoic façade. ?Aye, and you know how I like it. Hot ? really hot, not that lukewarm stuff they?ll try and pass off ? and strong. Black. Hot, strong, and black. Lots of meat on that pizza.?

With a grin the Padawan stepped into a different turbo lift, and his Master was left to make the journey to the High Council chambers alone. He rubbed a hand over his black mustache and sideburns, rolled his shoulders and stretched his back muscles, and headed down the corridor toward the doors of the turbo lift.

A few moments later he was giving his report to the Council, when the turbo lift doors slid open behind him. He paused and turned, and there stood Qui-Gon Jinn.

?Masters,? Qui-Gon thundered, bowing only shallowly, ?what purpose can you possibly have for sending my Padawan and I on TEN CONSECUTIVE MISSIONS?!?? He seemed to notice the other Master in the middle of the floor just then, and bowed to him, a broad smile spreading across his face. ?Varr! I didn?t know ? when did you get in??

The other grinned and gave a flourishing bow. ?Just about fifteen minutes ago. How have you been, Qui-Gon??

?Good, good. Too many missions. How about you??

?Great. Never been better.?

?My Padawan should be in the cafeteria at the moment, and I told him I would join him for the noon meal, but if you?d like to meet some other time ??

?Splendid! My own Padawan is in the cafeteria! Fancy that! Perhaps we could all eat together.?

Qui-Gon nodded. ?That is an excellent idea.?

?Master Jinn, granted permission to enter you were not.? Yoda curled his ears severely at Qui-Gon.

?Shall we make it half past noon, then?? Master Conniak?s back was to the Council, and he winked at Jinn, a gleeful glint in his eye that matched his mischievous grin.

Qui-Gon nodded and grinned, stepped forward and shook Varr?s offered hand. ?It?s a deal.? He redirected his attention to the little green Master, who was, by now, beginning to fume, and folded his arms across his chest. ?You were saying, Master??

Yoda glared at the Masters. ?Permission to enter you do not have, Master Jinn.?

Qui-Gon considered a moment, then bowed deeply. ?Apologies, Master Yoda. I believed you would be interested ? considering Obi-Wan?s sad plight ??

He started to turn, and the Council members exchanged exasperated glances.

?What plight would that be, Master Qui-Gon?? Master Ki-Adi-Mundi asked.

Jinn turned again to face them. ?My Padawan has been wheezing, Masters.?

Master Windu frowned and leaned forward, concerned. ?Wheezing, you say? Have you not taken him to the healers, Master Jinn??

Qui-Gon shook his head. ?No point in that, Master Windu. I just noticed it last night. It might go away yet. He?s not quite sick enough to see the healers. But mark my words, Masters,? he leaned forward, pointing a severe f

Absolutely riotous. These are fantastic, please add me to the PM list.

I have to say, I was only in one food fight in school. I ended up with ice cream in my hair and a baked potato on my back. With the Force and some lightsabers... who knows what might've happened that day.

Definitely looking forward to more!

good ones! I like the idea.

food fights yes. Jedi should have fun and with Obi and Qui you can expect that

So much fun! Food fight...I'd never of thought of that. Are Varr and his Padawan OCs?
PM list? That sounds like a good idea...can I be added, please?

Again, excellent work!

lols....these are awesome, Nerfherder.

Food fights ftw!

Raptor517

Never been in a food fight before, Thank the Force.

It was funny reading it.

LaForzaViva: Thanks! Sure. You're now on the PM list. Indeed ... who knows. I've never been in a food fight, myself. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

JediKaren: Thank you!

earlybird-obi-wan: Yes, they do seem to see more fun than other teams, don't they?

Cade_Cryocharger: Thank you! You are now on the PM list. Yes, Master Varr Conniak, Padawan Glyn-Kori Farasi, and Master Shak (the Jedi cook) are all my own OCs.

Raptor517: Thanks, Raptor.

Gkilkenny: Yeah, me neither. Glad you liked it.


Picture of the Month: Episode 4


The spires towered over the cityscape, stretching grandly to the skies of Coruscant. The steps climbed to the great doors, the magnificent pillars overshadowing those who ventured up to the doors of the Jedi Temple.

?This is where the line is drawn. This is where the strong are separated from the weak, where the brave are separated from the cowards. This is where a real journalist shows what he?s made of, Gil. It?s the once-in-a-lifetime chance to make your name in journalism.?

He blinked and drew in a deep breath, staring at the structure in front of him, helmet with built-in cameras under his arm. It was a sporty red, to go with his hoverbike ? his pride and joy, that bike. It was one of the best and fastest models made, and it had taken him years to save up the credits for it. He adjusted his black nerfleather jacket, ran a hand through his sandy hair, nervous blue eyes scrutinizing the scene in front of him.

It?s now or never ? you gotta do it, Gil, you know you gotta do it ? ?this is where the line is drawn?, Gil, ?this is where a real journalist shows what he?s made of? ? quit standing around, Gil, don?t be a weak-kneed coward. Get it over with ?

Gil Vanner took a deep breath, waited for a suspicious Jedi Master to go his way, and with the resolve of a man on a mission, set his helmet on his head, strapped it securely in place, and lowered the visor. Straddling his bike and letting gloved hands find the grips and controls with natural familiarity, he revved the engine, felt a chill run up his spine, and then stepped on the accelerator, letting the roar of the powerful engine be his herald as the hoverbike shot up the Temple steps and in the open door.

For a space of two seconds there was only a shocked silence, and then a chorus of yells went up. He could almost feel the ground shaking with the pursuit of the Jedi ? he could count on the whole Temple being after him. But a JOURNALIST does whatever it takes, Gil, to get the shot, to get the story ? your story will be the envy of the whole of Coruscanti ? no, GALACTIC media ? THIS is what it means to be a journalist.

Gil hunkered down over the handlebars and let the wind rush around him, willing his bike to go faster. He had no idea where he was going, or how he was going to get there ? he took the third cavernous adjoining passage on the left and hoped the Jedi wouldn?t catch him.

It was a long, empty passage, as nearly as he could see, a very long passage ? he couldn?t see the end of it. Grand pillars and tiled floors, arches and vaulted ceilings ? it was beautiful. He might have stopped and gawked, if he didn?t think the Jedi would collectively kill him.

There was a turbo lift ahead on the right, and he saw a Knight step out and freeze, and then he had slipped his hoverbike in the open door of the turbo lift and the door had closed.

Gil sat still, his breath coming in hoarse gasps, cold sweat bathing his face under his visor, his hands shaking on the grips. He pushed a random button toward the top with a thumb, nervously tugging his black nerfleather gloves ? special ordered to match his jacket.

You?ve come this far ? you can?t back out now ? this story will make or break your career, Gil, you gotta stick it out, Gil ?

The doors slid open, and he gunned the accelerator, his bike shooting between a pair of astonished Knights before they could react. He turned a corner and wove neatly around a Master and Padawan, hoping no one would

Master Jinn can't seem to take things seriously, can he? I love this post! Why oh why does Obi-Wan have to put up with him?

Great job!

Once again you get me to laugh during the whole thing. You have a great sense of humor and the ability to write well. I hope to see more from you!

Love to read and write about that. A race through the corridors of the Jeditemple

That's Qui-Gon having fun for you. Great update, Nerfherder.

Raptor517

Cade_Cryocharger: You could put it that way! I'm glad you liked it!

JediKaren: Thank you! I suspect you will see a great deal from me.

earlybird-obi-wan: Glad you liked it!

Raptor517: Yes it is! Thanks!


Picture of the Month: Episode 5


The marble walls echoed the rapid clicking of boot heels, and an elegantly flowing gray robe, of only the finest weave and sharpest, cleanest cut, billowed and fluttered slightly in the Jedi Master?s wake. Back straight and shoulders square, thick, black-streaked white hair neatly combed, his strides long and swift, Master Dooku was certain he was ready for anything. The gleaming curved-hilt lightsaber clipped to his belt didn?t hurt, either.

Qui-Gon had called. That, in and of itself, wasn?t enough to put him on edge. They weren?t on bad terms. Scheduling conflicts, usually, and Padawans, seemed to get in the way, but they found time to say hello every now and again.

What Qui-Gon wanted, on the other hand, was enough to make Yan want to plead mission duties and head for the hills.

?I want you to meet my Padawan,? he?d said.

Babysit the new terror, he?d meant.

I?m getting too old for this runaround ?

No backing out now.

The cafeteria was quiet, when Yan entered. He sat down with dignity and ate quickly, not bothering to attempt to socialize with the few other Jedi there.

A quick glance at his chrono and a corner of his mouth twitched. Punctuality I will not compromise, cowardice is not an option ?

The last time Qui-Gon had asked him to ?meet the new Padawan? didn?t bear thinking about ? not to say that the current one was new, not anymore ? he?d been avoiding this meeting for five years. He couldn?t feasibly put it off any longer. There were no impromptu missions available that offered escape.

Yan tried to simply sit and wait, but when he noticed the long fingers tapping on the table, he knew he couldn?t sit still. Instead, he walked out into the hall and clasped his hands behind his back, pacing before a window overlooking Coruscant with an air of stately, impatient dignity.

In the back of his mind he could sense Qui-Gon?s nearing Force presence ? he glanced at his chrono again. Right on time.

The punctuality of his former Padawan did not soothe the tense twisting sensation in his gut, nor did it serve to relax the stiff, stern, untouchable carriage of his back and shoulders.

Qui-Gon was almost like a son to him. That unspoken, distant and mutual affection did not necessarily extend to Qui-Gon?s Padawans, as evidenced by Xanatos, a Sithly, insolent twit if he?d ever seen one.

No, Yan was not looking forward to this.

There was a distant clicking of boots. Qui-Gon and his Padawan were approaching from the adjoining passage ?

Dooku glared out the window at the traffic lanes.

Qui-Gon?s advance halted. It had always taken Qui-Gon longer to sense things, where his former Master was concerned.

Yan?s tenuously and studiously relaxed stomach tensed all over again. He flexed his hands for a moment, enjoyed the warm, golden sunshine, and then he spun on his heel, sweeping the edge of his robe aside gracefully with one hand so as to keep it from getting underfoot.

Qui-Gon had more gray hair than Yan remembered ? an occurrence connected to the taking of this Padawan, perhaps?

The young man in question was only average, in terms of height and width of shoulders, small to both his Master and his Grand Master ? both stood six-foot-four easily. His red-tinged hair was cut down to the traditional Padawan cut, with an advanced braid over his right shoulder.

As a major difference, the blue-grey eyes were not cold and calculating, as Xanatos? had been, but he was little less excitable, even if he was gamely trying to pin down his bubbling, indeed, boiling ? boiling over ? enthusiasm.

Qui-Gon surely sensed this unseemly near vibration of his Padawan, the fact that he was blazing with unrestrained, almost blinding energy in the Force, with none of the calm, serene peace of a

Obi meets Dooku and he likes him

A funny update

Great two reads, I enjoyed them very much. Stodgy Jedi and their no-hugging rules!

Hugging... I love the part with Yan being all puzzled and actually liking it. It is unorthodox, I'll admit.

Brilliant work! I'm hoping there's no limit to the series.

Thanks for the PM.

Haha...

Obi: "come here you big, bad wanna-be Sith master...have a hug."
Qui:
Dooku:
Obi:
Qui:
Dooku:
Obi:

Jedi Temple:

Yeah, I overdid it and I don't care. Good update.

Very good. I can imagine Dooku's face.
Loved it.