Before - Legends Picture of the Month - Vignette Series - QGJ, OWK, YD, OCs - 3/18/11

I've been bad (slaps hand) for not responding to prior posts, which I've enjoyed immensely.

Yan was suitably astonished. It was not every day that he met with a former associate, no matter how close, and was set upon by hugging Padawans. Nor was it particularly Jedi-like.

He raised his gaze to meet Qui-Gon?s, his eyes wide with shock. Qui-Gon was fighting hard, trying desperately not to laugh, or even allow the barest twitch of a smile, but it was a battle as good as lost ? Yan had already detected it. He gave the younger Master a look that clearly said, I will deal with you later.

Then he looked down at Obi-Wan again. Force, he?s got a grip like a vice! He tried a polite cough and a stern, cocked eyebrow, but this was not enough to detach the young one.

He looked at Qui-Gon, this time outright glaring.

Qui-Gon glared back, then folded his arms into his sleeves, lifted his bearded chin and examined the ceiling to his right, a bit of his long hair falling over his left shoulder.

Dooku furrowed his brow, studying the Padawan. Perhaps there might be some sort of release mechanism? An escape?

He focused into the Force.

The Force told him there was none.

Qui-Gon smiled at his former Master, ever so pleased with himself. ?I think he likes you.?

At first I thought it was a set-up, but no, just a slightly drunken padawan. I just loved this!

 

earlybird-obi-wan: Thank you, earlybird!

LaForzaViva: Welcome back! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Cade_Cryocharger: Thanks! Limit? No limit but the one to my imagination ... You're welcome!

Raptor517: What?! You overdid it?!?! Pish tush. No such thing! Thanks!

Gkilkenny: Oh my ... I don't know what to say. That is quite a compliment. Thank you.

Valairy_Scot: Naughty! No, really, welcome back! I'm glad you liked it!

PM list:

Raptor517
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Picture of the Month: Episode 6


The transport was small, simple, functional. It had a pilot?s chair, a copilot?s chair, a fresher, a fold-out bunk and a small cabinet stocked with bottled water and various tasteless foodstuffs, plus an extensive emergency medical kit.

Obi-Wan slid into the copilot?s chair and watched silently as his Master took the piloting controls and the small ship made the jump to hyperspace. ?I?m bone-tired, Master,? he murmured. ?Is it wrong to be happy we?re going home??

?No. I can?t say that it is, under the circumstances. A good meal, a long, hot shower and a good night?s sleep ought to do us both good.? Qui-Gon could sense his Padawan?s weariness. He gave an off-handed nod at the bunk. ?Why don?t you lie down, Obi-Wan? Get some rest. I can handle this. I?ll wake you in a few hours.?

Qui-Gon glanced at the com unit as it beeped, and he pushed the green button. The hologram came to life, a small blue-tinged version of Master Windu, straight-backed, stern, arms folded into voluminous sleeves.

?Jinn,? he answered.

?Master Jinn, the Council requests that you deliver your report to the Council immediately upon arrival.?

?Our mission was quite extensive-? Qui-Gon began, but Mace cut him off.

?The Council recognizes the situation. You will be given the opportunity to rest when your report has been delivered, of that I may assure you on behalf of the Council; but the Council must request your immediate presence. The gravity of the situation demands that your report be delivered post-haste.?

Qui-Gon pursed his lips thoughtfully, mildly irritated. ?My Padawan-?

?You are not Master Conniak, Master Jinn. Padawan Kenobi?s presence is mandated according to the Code, Section V Subsection 4, Appendix A.?

Obi-Wan blinked, then looked at his Master.

Qui-Gon bowed his head, being rather less than willing to stand up to bow. ?We will be there, Master Windu.?

Mace bowed. ?Windu out.?

The little blue image of the Council member disappeared.

Obi-Wan continued to stare at Qui-Gon in mute astonishment. ?Master ??

Qui-Gon glanced at him quizzically as he confirmed their course. ?What, Obi-Wan??

?Isn?t that just a little ?? the Padawan hunted for the word, ?spiteful??

Qui-Gon snorted, but his focus remained on what he was doing. ?They asked for it, Padawan. Demanded it, actually. We, being the good little Jedi we are, are going to give it to them.?

Obi-Wan considered. ?I don?t know, Master. I wouldn?t wish it on anyone.?

Qui-Gon smiled and looked up. ?I know. But they asked for it, Padawan. Try to take some comfort in the fact that we are not being malicious ? this is a gift of the Force. Poetic justice, as it were, for putting us on insane missions and demanding an immediate report without the chance to so much as eat a decent bagel or drink a cup of tea.?

Obi-Wan nodded, praying silently to the Force for the strength he knew he would need to suffer through his Master?s antics with the infinite patience he would require to remain Jedi ? and sane ? through the next twenty-four hours.

The journey to Coruscant was uneventful. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon took shifts watching the ship, making sure things didn?t get exciting, but in the end Obi-Wan only got three or four hours of sleep. The bunk wasn?t really made for comfort as much as for expedience.

Qui-Gon didn?t even bother trying to sleep ? he sat on the floor and meditated.

 

Oh, gasps... I it. Would love to see that picture.

 

Loved the mayhem in the high council. Again a great funny adventure. And PM please

 

lols again. I'm glad to see this series continue.

Love how Qui-Gon gave the (philosophical) stinkers in the council a (literal) taste of their own medicine.

Good laughs all around. Especially at Obi-Wan paying off Mace.

Raptor517

 

This is great! So funny. I've only finished the first part, though. I'm working on the rest!

Keep it up! Oh, and please PM me when you update. Thanks!

 

This is soo funny! Mace Windu was bribed with...ohmigosh...chocolate? I would so like to see that picture.
Excellent work! I am loving the series!

 

Okay, just finished it. This is the funniest thing ever! Don't tell me you're stopping!

 

The smell was overpowering.

Good one.

 

Valairy_Scot: Thanks!

earlybird-obi-wan: Glad you liked it. You have now been added to the PM list.

Raptor517: Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.

The_Zeltron: Thanks, The_Zeltron! Added to the PM list you are. Who said anything about stopping?!

Cade_Cryocharger: Yes. Expensive, fancy chocolate. With a custom order purple foil wrapper. Special chocolate. He's not cheap. But yes ... ... chocolate. Thank you! Glad you're enjoying it!

Gkilkenny: Thank you!

To my loyal readers: Apologies, I am posting late. I would normally be posting on Monday. Circumstances did not permit being on schedule. I will strive to be prompt, but I can make no promises. Thank you for your patience, your reviews, and your time.


Picture of the Month: Episode 7


3661 BBY

A stiff breeze ruffled the Knight?s sandy hair, long from several months in the field, and he studied the small but comfortable fortress before them. He squinted against the sunlight, raising the macrobinoculars to his dark blue-grey eyes and scanning the surrounding mountain landscape, jagged rock outcroppings and gnarled pines partially shielding the Sith encampment.

?What do you think, Boeman?? he asked softly, flashing a broad grin at the black-haired Knight lying on his back beside him in the dirt.

Boeman shifted the blaster in his lap, stroked his bearded jaw for a moment, studying the sky, and a slow smile spread across his face. He shot a glance at his friend, mischief in his eyes. ?I think we?ve got him, Elbar.?

?The second we report our findings, he?ll know we?re here.? Elbar muttered.

Boeman sighed. ?You know the rule: no Sithkiller goes in after a Sith without reporting.?

?Yeah, well, we?ll just have to move fast, then, won?t we?? Ara?cor grinned.

?Faster the better.?

Elbar glanced at the datapad a few inches from his hand, then grabbed it and tossed it into his friend?s lap without a second thought. ?You take care of it.?

?Why??

?I still haven?t figured out proper procedure.?

Boeman chuckled quietly, careful not to make much noise, and shook his head. ?We joined the Sithkiller Unit three months ago, Elbar.?

Ara?cor snorted. ?Yeah, and I?m telling you, that rule just doesn?t make sense. If we were going to get killed, we would have. The reason we were accepted into the Unit is that we?re not dead yet and we?re the best there is.?

?The Fifth was good, though, you?ve got to admit. And they went down not two weeks ago.?

Elbar bobbed his head cautiously, then raised the macrobinoculars and scanned the rough terrain again. ?True. But then, we?re not the Fifth.?

Boeman grinned and shifted the blaster again, sending their report from the datapad. ?Yeah, we?re not the Fifth.? He glanced at his sandy-haired buddy. ?We doing this or sitting here in the dirt and sun yapping about it??

Elbar nodded and they left their robes and their concealment behind the rocks with a Force-enhanced flip and hit the ground running.

It took two seconds of Force sprinting to reach the fortress. The blast doors were already mostly closed, but they dropped and rolled under the door, then stretched out with their senses and sought out their quarry in the Force.

The Sith they were after was like a beacon of evil. He had a head start on them, and he was using it to his advantage to attempt to escape ? again.

They had been pursuing this particular Sith for the last month. He had, in that same amount of time, caused a great deal of havoc and mayhem, killed several Jedi, and destroyed Republic property. He wasn?t the most dangerous Sith, but he was a Sith, and the Commander of the Unit had thought him a fitting target for the two new Sithkillers.

The Commander had not been happy the first time the Sith had gotten away, especially considering the fact that the Sith had seen fit to kill a Padawan on his way out.

Master Gedam had not been happy, either.

Boeman took off down a side passage, and Elbar kept going, hoping to keep th

 

Boeman that's the Dutch word for bogeyman or ghoul. Loved the update with the masters and their archive works. Just something to annoy Yoda with it

 

Payback is SO sweet, isn't it? I just this one. Mischievious children, all.

 

Somehow the term "throwing the book" at someone doesn't do this one justice. An excellent update!

Raptor517

 

Oh, that was too good! I thought, at first, that Yoda was trying to make the Padawans fall over the railing. But no, he was trying to teach the masters something.

"Funny, that was not!" Oh, I thought I'd fall over laughing at that line. We really need an emoticon that has laughing and crying at once.

Thanks for the PM!

 

earlybird-obi-wan: I honestly didn't know that ... but it seems to fit! Thanks!

Valairy_Scot: Ah, but at what price, vengeance? Glad you liked it!

Raptor517: No, not quite! Thank you!

The_Zeltron: Hmm ... his intentions, good they were. Taken that way they were not. A surprise he got. Unpleasant it was. Welcome you are! Yes, Yoda can be a little ... mysterious ...


Picture of the Month: Episode 8


Qui-Gon was in the cafeteria when Obi-Wan found him. The datapad sitting next to his Master?s plate and the way Qui-Gon was engrossed in whatever he was reading answered most of the Padawan?s questions. It did not answer why Qui-Gon would be sitting in the cafeteria reading a datapad at 1400, since there was a meeting he should have been attending half an hour ago; and it did not answer why Qui-Gon would be supremely exhausted.

It wasn?t in his movements. He was as steady and quick as ever. His skin was not dull or darkened under the eyes. The dark blue eyes were bright, sharp, and when he noticed his Padawan studying him quietly from across the small round table, they became curious and questioning, and more than a little confused.

It was all in the stimcaf just an inch from his left hand.

Obi-Wan focused on his Master. ?You missed the Theemai Lecture.?

Qui-Gon arched his eyebrows, then swallowed a large portion of the stimcaf. ?I didn?t think my presence was mandatory. You take notes enough for both of us.?

?That?s hardly the point.?

?Is it? Since when??

?Since the Code says your presence is required at all pertinent lectures.?

?Since when do I care?? The confused look seemed to have deepened.

Obi-Wan shook his head. ?You don?t care if Master Hanalay wrings me out like a wet towel, beats me against the wall and sends me through the wash, then. Is it just because Master Conniak is in Temple that you?re being so ??? he waved a hand in the air.

Qui-Gon leaned back and folded his arms across his chest. ?I see. I will speak with Master Hanalay. And then I will speak with Master Conniak, and determine whether he is in fact a bad influence on me.? He swallowed the rest of the stimcaf, tossed the cup in the garbage. ?I?ll see you for saber practice, Padawan,? he said, then disappeared into the turbo lift.

Kenobi sat still for a moment, then got up to leave ? glancing into the garbage as he did. He felt his eyes widen and quickly schooled his features to Jedi calm.

The next day he was in the Courtyard Garden, meditating. He could usually find Qui-Gon meditating there at this time of day, if they were in the Temple; it was a habit rarely broken, but Qui-Gon was not there. The Courtyard Garden was a large one, left much to its own devices, and according to Qui-Gon the Force there was powerful. So he decided to sit beside one of many fishponds in the garden and wait.

Obi-Wan glanced up and looked around, sensing his friend?s presence, but it was a moment before Lan-Ahan stepped out from behind the willowy tree that grew beside the fishpond in front of Obi-Wan?s vantage point. The taller Padawan folded up in a meditative posture rather abruptly, and then he looked at Obi-Wan, confusion in his dark eyes.

?Have you seen Master Aven lately, Obi-Wan?? he asked softly.

The question was as abrupt as Ithlan?s entrance. Obi-Wan blinked, trying to comprehend the significance of whether or not he had seen Master Marlan. ?No, not lately. In fact ?? he tried to recall the last time he had seen Master Marlan, with growing alarm. ?I can?t recall when I last saw him. Is he alright??

Lan-Ahan shook his head. ?I don?t know, but he?s been drinking five and six shot stimcafs lately, forgetting things ? I don?t know what to think.?

Kenobi?s brow furrowed with concern as his brain shot back to the stimcaf Master Qui-Gon had been drinking. ?Five and six shot stimcafs??

?Has Master Jinn been acting strangely??

?Well, if you think five and six shots is bad ?? Obi-Wan shook his head. ?He?s been drinking seven shots.?

Lan-Ahan?s eyes wi

 

lols. Jedi Fight club? I'd pay to see that.

Great update.

Raptor517

 

You really need someone to illustrate this story because I want real pictures, not just mental pictures!

 

Not quite as funny as some of the others, but I enjoyed it a lot! That was funny about the stims the Masters were drinking.

Keep up the good work! Thanks for the PM!

 

great masters having fun at night and with the padawans discovering just that: a fight club
Excellent update

 

Wonderful! I agree with Valairy...we really need real pictures.

 

Raptor517: Thanks!

Valairy_Scot, Cade_Cryocharger: I've given your proposal a good deal of thought. I'm sorry if the lack of illustration detracts from the stories. I would love to oblige, but no. The beauty of writing is its freedom - my imagination isn't constrained by what I or anyone else can do with a tangible artistic medium, only by what I can do with words. Thanks for your comments!

The_Zeltron: Thanks! I will! And you're welcome!

earlybird-obi-wan: Thank you!

Author Notes: To you who have been so kind and patient with me, I deeply apologize for keeping you waiting. I didn't want to post replies without a story, and my muse didn't want to run to humor for a good deal longer than I anticipated.

Feedback, constructive criticism, comments, et cetera remain whole-heartedly appreciated.

PM list:

Raptor517
LaForzaViva
Cade_Cryocharger
The_Zeltron


Picture of the Month: Episode 9


The shadows and sunlight of early morning, just minutes past dawn, dappled the forest floor, the long table and benches laid out under the trees draped with a red-and-white checkered tablecloth. The diplomats of the Eveduil filed along one side of the table as the Republic?s Jedi ambassador strode smoothly to his place in the middle of the opposite side. He stood with feet spread wide and hands clasped loosely behind his back, his stance, high head carriage and straight-backed posture a subtle challenge. He resisted the urge to try to fold his arms into his sleeves, as his robe was being held hostage by a stern-faced aide, and then the desire to pry it from the blue- and black-striped hands of its annoying captor with the Force. The matching blue and black eyes brooked no argument. If the treaty was to be accepted, he would have to play by the rules ? their rules.

Rules that also dictated that he would be refused an ambassador?s audience if he carried a weapon of any kind, much less a lightsaber, or if he was accompanied by an armed party of any size or strength. His fellow Master, invisible among the surrounding trees and undetected among the Eveduil, sent an amused assurance through the Force, more a sense, a feeling than a distinct thought.

I?ve got your back. There will be no assassinations on my watch.

Aven, you had better not lose my lightsaber ?

A young lady stepped up behind the head diplomat, precisely opposite him. She handed him an ovate dish, her face bearing a unique pattern of red and orange striping. Her eyes remained downcast and humble, but if his understanding of the Eveduil race was accurate, they too would be red and orange. Nonetheless, the dish interested him far more. It was a pie, with a thin chocolate crumb crust and three layers of chocolate mousse, lightly whipped to perfection and chilled to hold its fluffy form, alternated with another three layers of a sweet whipped topping. It was rich, almost sickeningly so for one used to conservative Jedi fare, and he could almost smell the sugar content from across the table.

The head diplomat, his flabby, florid face expressionless with that queer deference to tradition that so often plagued his people, took the pie, laid it gently on the table, and slid it across smoothly until it rested on his side of the table.

He drew a deep breath, took a single swift stride forward and bent sharply at the waist, burying his face in the pie.

I hate tradition, he moaned inwardly to the Force as he felt chocolate mousse seep into his beard and cling to his hair and eyebrows.

Just as swiftly, with no pause, he straightened and stepped back, resuming his original stance.

?I, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn, meet your challenge,? he intoned, keeping his voice formally free of inflection. He carefully avoided licking any of the offending chocolaty fluff away.

The diplomats broke ranks, turning and smiling and nodding at one another. Then the head diplomat raised a hand for order and turned to face Qui-Gon again. ?Let the challenger come forwar

 

I don't feel so - full - after yesterday's St. Patrick's potluck at the office.

 

That was so funny!

Thanks so much for the PM!

 

Hehe...Eat up, Qui, and enjoy!

Great update, well written with excellent description.

Raptor517

 

Oh, Aven I am begging you to run while you still have the chance.

Thanks for the PM! This is a wonderful update! If I ever feel sick from Thanksgiving dinner ever again, I'll remember Qui-Gon.
I can really imagine Obi-Wan's face when he was told of Qui-Gon's problem.