main
side
curve
  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Before - Legends Pirate's Of The Mon Calamari *'Part 6 5/8* (ABC Challenge)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Healer_Leona , Mar 5, 2005.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrel Wrangler of Fun & Games star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    This is just a little viggie, (though not the one I sent in) the result from a number of people and should be dedicated as such... first to Kettch_the_Jedi for the Alphabet Soup Challenge in the Writer's Race. Also to Knight_Dilettante and Diane, for a conversation on the Qui-Gon thread.



    Pirates of the Mon Calamari

    Aboard the pirate ship Splendiferous, pirate captain Black Jinn the Barbarian and his first mate Obi the Beautiful stood watching with anticipation as the ship sailed ever closer to the deserted island.

    ?Been waitin on this a long time we have,? Capt. Jinn muttered, pounding an affectionate thump on his most loyal crewman?s shoulder. ?Cantankerous ole Mace should have parted with his treasure years ago.?

    ?Doubt ole baldy even cares now,? Obi laughed maliciously. ?Extracting the map from his person was both a pleasure and a privilege,? he demonstrated a slash and parry move with his blood stained knife.

    ?Fate and fortune are on our side, my young mate,? Black Jinn patted the small breast pocket of the leather vest that covered his broad chest. ?Go round up a few of me boys Obi, strong backs and curbed tongues are all we want to take with us,? Jinn directed.

    Hurrying to obey, Obi the Beautiful, chose only those men he knew were as loyal to the pirate captain as himself. In less than five years, he had risen the ranks to first mate. Just as the man he replaced, Obi had stealthily murdered his way to the top. Killing without remorse had even impressed his captain and granted a weary kind of respect between the two men.

    ?Land ho,? came the brash and throaty announcement from the fliers nest.

    Motley crew that they were, they still adhered to each and every order that Black Jinn barked out at them. No man was unaware of the rumor of his having magical powers to see into a man?s mind. Only the foolhardy were arrogant enough, stupid enough to take on the scourge of the seas and those that followed him unerringly.

    Plodding through first hot and blinding white sands, then threading though a small, but verdant oasis of sharp, spiked grasses and towering palms trees, they were soon halted by their master. Qui-Gon the Barbarian pulled the map from his breast pocket. Researching it thoroughly, he then gazed around the greenery.

    Seemingly disinterested, the captain closed his eyes, his head tilting as if listening to some unheard voice before opening them with a grin.

    ?This way?,? he growled with delight and stalked off again.

    Unnerved by the display of apparent magical powers, the crew hung back ever so slightly in growing fear and awe of their mystical leader.

    Valiant to the end, Obi snarled his frustration at the weak-minded fools and trailed after Jinn until he came to a sudden halt.

    ?We dig here,? Black Jinn used his booted heel to make a mark in the sand.

    ?X marks the spot, eh,? Obi nodded with an appreciative smirk, crossing his arms over his chest to watch the others work.

    ?You are going to help dig aren?t you?? Black Jinn inquired caustically of his first mate with a raised eye brow.

    ?Zero effort is zero gained,? Obi the Beautiful retorted with the grin that brought beings to their knees and thrust his own shovel into the hard ground.
     
  2. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]


    Excellent response to the challenge Leona!!!
     
  3. Knight_Dilettante

    Knight_Dilettante Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 2002
    LOL! Lovely images there Leona! [face_laugh] And the names. [face_laugh] Oh, so perfect.

    Cute story.

    KD
     
  4. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    This was hilarious! Qui-Gon the barbarian and Obi the beautiful. Gotta love it! Very funny and cute. I hope they got their treasure...:D :p
     
  5. Kettch_the_Jedi

    Kettch_the_Jedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 2002


    Great story. The pirate idea was really good ("Obi the Beautiful" was my favorite :) ). Flowed so well an innocent bystander probably wouldn't notice the alphabet without the bold. Great going. :)
     
  6. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrel Wrangler of Fun & Games star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Layren, thanks. I just wish we could have sent more than one to the challenge.

    k_d, I was kinda proud of the names too. [face_blush]. So was your other ABC vig pirate also.. that's the feeling I had had the other day.

    Diane, thank you for the original idea... this may not have been quite what you had in mind. :D :D

    Kettch, thanks. I only wish I had waited until I'd written this second one before sending one in. Obviously I got better at it. [face_laugh]

    I think I've got the start of a second part ... up to 'D' anyway. [face_idea]
     
  7. jodiwent

    jodiwent Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2000
    Arg Matey, that brings a smile to me face :D

    This was hilarious Leona, I'll be grinning all day.
     
  8. Miana Kenobi

    Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 5, 2000
    Obi the Beautiful.... [face_laugh]

    Excellent job, Leona!! Though the thought of Qui with an eyepatch and a hook is just too good to imagine. :p
     
  9. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2000
    Aaarr, me hearties... that was well done indeed! (Though I was half convinced that "W" would be "Why is the rum gone?") Very clever, Leona!
     
  10. Gina

    Gina Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2003
    LOL! That was great. [face_laugh]
     
  11. mouse2

    mouse2 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 1999
    That was brilliant Leona! Positively inspired!

    Black Jinn patted the small breast pocket of the leather vest that covered his broad chest.

    Even if I hadn't known that you had written it. that line would have definately given it away. ;) :p
     
  12. SarkaVrae

    SarkaVrae Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2004
    :D

    great job Leona! wonderful imagery and quite a vivid little story! loved it! :D
     
  13. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrel Wrangler of Fun & Games star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Jodiwent, welcome... always great to see an old friend... hope the second part whilee keep a smile going too.

    Miana, I actually thought of giving him an eye patch, but to cover even one of those beautiful baby blues... *sigh* giggles

    Renata, That would work as he loves Corellian Black Rum! LOL!

    Gina, thank you. :D :D

    Mouse, Really, that gave it away?? What, you think I like Qui-Gon or something?!?

    Sarka, thanks, hopefully you'll like a bit more!

    Okay, this bunny has built a little nest and ready to create more little bunnies.. rather bizarre twsited little fellows I might add. Don't know how long or good this will be, so bare with me. :D I've also excluded the X in theis part as per the original challenge.. though should it work it may come up in subsequent posts.


    **********************************


    As the sweat of exertion rolled from bare shoulders to chests and backs, the energy and anticipation of the laborers waned.

    ?Barb, I really think you picked the wrong spot,? Obi the Beauteous commented with a grunt, raking a sandy forearm across his dripping brow.

    ?Could you please desist with the Barb already,? Black Jinn shot a pointed glare at his First Mate, ignoring the amused glances of the other crewmen, ? Do you think it possible to stick with Captain Jinn, Black Jinn or even Barbarian? Elusive as it apparently seems to you, Barb hardly elicits the kind of response one wishes to generate in our line of work. Fear, respect, perhaps even the occasional wanton desire in the opposite sex one would hope for. Given that all Barb evokes in your crewmates are sniggers and guffaws, ? Jinn motioned to the others who were having a hard time concealing their mirth, ?I would ask you, no demand, that you find something more appropriate.?

    He.. llo? ,? the golden skinned young man gestured emphatically, ?Barb, as in short for Barbarian??

    ?I would prefer you not to use that name,? the large man growled ferociously, puffing up his chest to demonstrate the barbarian in him.

    Just because we live on our ship, steal, pillage, kill and sometimes smell bad, doesn?t mean we always have to act all tough and aloof-like.?

    ? Kenobi,? Jinn rolled his eyes in frustration, ?that?s exactly what it means to be a pirate, well except for the smell bad part.? Lifting his arm all-casual like, Qui-Gon the Barbarian took a furtive whiff, satisfied his protégé was not speaking of him.

    ?Might I remind you, it?s Obi the Beautiful,? the First Mate hastily corrected, ?I have had it legally changed, unlike some people,? he sniffed dismissively before resuming his digging.

    ?Next time I leave you on the ship,? the tall pirate groused loudly as he stalked away from the ever-widening hole.

    Overheated and exhausted, it was mid-afternoon before the fortune-hunters struck anything but the abrasive sand. Ping, was the metallic tone as a shovel connected with a solid object.

    ?Quick,? Obi shouted, tossing his shovel aside and using his hands to uncover a sizable oblong box. Rejecting the proffered assistance from his mates, he tugged and joggled the metal chest until it was free of its sandy crypt. Sinewy muscles bunched and bulged as Obi-Wan raised the crate shoulder high and with a throaty grunt, threw in out of the hollow.

    ?Thank you number one,? Black Jinn towered over the fissure his first mate stood in, his arms akimbo ?Uness I?m greatly mistaken, I?d say I was correct in my directions and this is what we?ve come for.? Volunteering a brawny, solid arm, the captain assisted the younger man out of the crater.

    Willing himself to contain excitement, Qui-Gon the Barbarian knelt beside the case, smoothing a reverent hand over the exterior. Yearning evident on his handsome, bearded features, he suddenly felt the heated stares of his men crowded around him. Zeal
     
  14. mouse2

    mouse2 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 1999
    *snicker* Barb. Now that I like! Must be the hair that's throwing Obi the beautiful off. ;)

    There were a few more of those sweat glistening body parts. What a nice mental image they make! :D
     
  15. Knight_Dilettante

    Knight_Dilettante Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 2002
    Hee hee hee. I'm glad there is more. Go bunnies, go. Breed like mad. Show someone else what it feels like to be hip deep in bunny doo-doo.

    I think Renata hit it on the head though. Sometime, one of them has to say "Why is the rum gone?" Preferrably to Sabé. :D (<g, d & rfc)

    KD
     
  16. SarkaVrae

    SarkaVrae Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2004
    yay! more!! :D very cool!

    i'm loving the picture i have in my head of tanned, sweaty, & muscular Jinn & Kenobi! ;)
     
  17. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    I'm in agreement with the rest .... a hot, sweaty QUi and Obi is always a nice picture :D

    Looking forward to more!
     
  18. Rogue_JediKnight

    Rogue_JediKnight Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 2002
    I can't believe I missed this!

    Healer Leona the first part was HOT! Hums quietly to myself with some beautiful imagery in my head for the rest of the day :D [face_blush]

    Loved the banter in the second part and definitely snickered at ?Thank you number one," (Heehee - now that's a new Star Trek that would get my attention!)

    Lovely job Healer Leona.

    Rogue
     
  19. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Leona You really had me laughing out loud with this one. Obi the beautious and Barb....LOL. I love that Obi had his name changed.

    And a sweaty Jinn and Kenobi are nothing to ignore...:D [face_love]

    Looking forward to more. High jinks on the high seas...gotta love it.
     
  20. Gina

    Gina Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2003
    ?Might I remind you, it?s Obi the Beautiful,? the First Mate hastily corrected, ?I have had it legally changed, unlike some people,? he sniffed dismissively before resuming his digging.

    LOL! I loved that part.

    Loving the image of a sweaty Kenobi and Jinn. [face_love]
     
  21. Miana Kenobi

    Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 5, 2000
    "Just because we live on our ship, steal, pillage, kill and sometimes smell bad, doesn?t mean we always have to act all tough and aloof-like.? [face_laugh]

    Mmmm.... glistening Obi-Wan.... =P~

    Lovely job, Leona!! :D
     
  22. Jemmiah

    Jemmiah Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2000
    Why do I get the impression that you enjoyed writing that almost as much as I did reading it? :) Maybe it had to do with sweaty, glistening Obi and Qui...very evocative imagery! :D Not that I believe for a moment that it was torturous trying to conjure up that particular thought in your mind, Leona! ;) Well done!
     
  23. tangled_sphere

    tangled_sphere Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 28, 2003
    This is so clever! Loved the nickname, poor, poor, Qui [face_laugh] They are great together [face_love]
     
  24. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    This is not only cleverly written, but very funny as well!
     
  25. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    This is great Leona! Such yummy imagery! This genre is so hard to write to!

    Kithera
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.