Planning thread for new NJO AU

Name-dropping the Masters is entirely your call. If you think it needs more detail and more people in it it's entirely up to you.

I personally think it could use a little more detail here and there, but you did a good job with it. Lucky you, getting the easy couple. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with Raynar and Lusa . . . I wanted to get Eyrl Besa involved (as Raynar's crush) but I wanted to ask permission first. I'm currently in the process of Garth Briese dooming the crew by answering the call and killing Bensin Tomri off in the guard tower but it's not quite done yet . . .

Edit: I did NOT want bold! I wanted highlight black! *kicks board*

 

Looks really good, Jon?I liked the J/Tk moment?

However, I did find some continuity problems with everything else we?ve written:


Tenel Ka arched an eyebrow at him, but leapt off into his arms. They stood there for a moment of eternity before an ?ahem? from the stage caught their attention. They separated, Tenel Ka definitely blushing this time. ?Master Skywalker,? she said, not looking up at the Jedi Master. She noted Jaina, Raynar, Lusa, Anakin, Tahiri and Sakana also in the Chamber, all recent graduates from student.


In that last sentence you may want to mention that the entire class of new Jedi Adapts/Apprentices were present. Because you aren?t taking into account Lowie and the Rar sisters, if we decide to use them, etc?.


Luke sat on the edge of the main stage, his pose mimicking Jacen?s on the roof. ?It?s good to see you.? He hopped off as everyone gathered around him. ?The pre-Purge Order had several traditions that I?ve eschewed, such as Jedi not marrying or having children.? His blue eyes twinkled as his mouth turned up slightly. ?Mara and Ben have proven to me how wrong that was. They also committed themselves totally to the Order, isolating themselves from the rest of the galaxy. Before she died, Mon Mothma pointed out the folly of that. We need Jedi merchants, Jedi starfighter pilots,? he said, motioning to Raynar and Jaina respectively.?

I really, really like that you explained why our story, in respect to what happened in NJO, is different concerning the Master/Apprentice relationship. Great job. I was worried that if we didn?t explain why everyone has a Master, we?d get questions about that. And since this will precede Charles and my chapters it works well..

But you forgot to mention Mia and Padmé when Luke was mentioning Mara and Ben?

I hope I?m not a pain with this? but I like to think of myself as a perfectionist and lack of continuity is a pet peeve of mine?

I also don?t think it?s necessary to have the Apprentices go off and pick their masters. But you may want to mention, maybe in a conversation between the Solo kids and Mara, about them wanting to apprentice them. Nice time for tension between the two boys to arise. Just an idea which will flow nicely into Charles?s chapter?.


Sara

 

Hi, Everyone! I just read your first post of the story. It looks WONDERFUL!!!! It's intriguing and exciting, and VERY Well-written.

I also caught up in this thread. All of you seem to be doing really well. C, I enjoyed your Zek section, and your Darth Ahrimane piece was positively chilling! :::Shudder::: He's scary!

Flowerlady, I loved your Kyp and Anakin section. I think Kyp is going to be perfect for Anakin! I loved the way Anakin was arrogantly expecting to be number two and was told he would be number 4.

Striker, you write Tenel Ka and Jacen very well! I agree with Sara though that Luke should at least mention Ben's twin at this point. (if the younger sibling hasn't been born yet.) Either that, or make the two girls twins.

Nice job, all around folks! I'm awed!

 

I really enjoyed your post as well RK_Stryker.

It was very well done and Jacen seems a bit giddy as his primary concern but he is just sixteen.

I look forward to him getting into a talk with someone....perhaps Valin? About his feelings for Tenel.

Great stuff and you aren't the worst writer, not by far.

 

OOC: Meh, so I lied.

IC:

The group was prepared to take off and join in a fairly massive operation for the Jedi. Luke wanted to see them off even as the rest of the Academy was busy with morning exercises. Ben's little stunt with the repulsor fields had left the gymnasium in bad need of repair. They were mostly on a hike through the ruins of Exar Kun's now harmless ruins.

The Jedi Master was surprised that none of them had commented on the unusual size of the expedition. It was extremely rare for Jedi Knights in pairs and unheard of for a trio to go on a mission unless it was against a whole army. They were nearly five hundred in rank now but that wasn't enough to waste resources when one Jedi would do. Luke only hoped that this would be enough for the uncomfortable feelings he was getting.

Kyp was the first to walk off the X-wing platform to shake Luke's hand as he said simply "We'll keep in contact throughout the mission. I don't expect we'll find anything out of the ordinary. Boba Fett was getting old. It's probably just some pirates that killed him in the end. It'll probably be several months before we've wrapped up all of the Black Sun breakway syndicates. A lot of worlds will sleep easier once its done though."

Luke Skywalker nodded before saying "Unfortunately, I'm not going to be available to speak with you during your mission. A Civil War has broken out on Chaladon and the New Republic feels that I'm the only person qualified to deal with the magnitude of the problem. All of the Jedi are needed across the universe and even then we can only do a small part of what needs to be done."

Jacen shook his head before saying "I can't understand why you keep answering the orders of people like Chancellor Fey'lya."

Luke narrowed his eyes before saying "The Jedi don't take orders from the Supreme Chancellor. We take suggestions. Politicians aren't whom the Jedi serve but the people that make up the Republic. I know you know that Jacen but you need to learn to be able to deal with people you don't like. Without the bureaucrats then we wouldn't know who needs what in the universe."

Master Lottson spoke up then in a calm voice "Will you be taking any other Jedi with you?"

Luke shook his head "Just me....and Page's Commandoes. The local Pro-Human force has resorted to genocidal tactics. They're not overwhelmingly powerful so we're going to try to sabotage their weapons caches and bring in their more radical leadership for trial. If we can rally the resistance then we should be able to bring a swift end to the war. Still, I don't just want to try to swoop in and swoop out. This is their world and the Chaladons have to feel that any victory against the radicals is of their own doing."

Kyp replied "Do you really want to be wasting all that time on a single world? You are the symbol of the Jedi."

"I can't allow myself to get caught up in ideals like that Kyp. If I end up an old man getting taken out by a blaster bolt saving a single life then I'll consider it a life well spent," Luke also hoped to impart a lesson by that analogy. Those of Skywalker blood were still flesh and blood. They were vulnerable, even with their great powers, whenever they were caught unawares.

Emiya nodded at the wisdom of Luke's words "I wish you the best of luck then Master Skywalker."

Luke had waited years to use that line "In my opinion, there's no such thing as luck."

Emiya's response caused his ears to burn a bit "A proper convergence of otherwise unrelated events for a fortituous outcome then."

Luke then smiled "In any case, it'll be a long mission and I shouldn't be back for at least three weeks."

"Three weeks to change the destiny of a planet," Jacen seemed amused by the whole idea.

The straight dark haired young Sakana recited a saying of her homeland before the Clone Wars "When you need to fight a war, call in soldiers. When you need a miracle. Call upon the Jedi."

The Jenassaari had sent Sakana from their ranks to learn from the Jedi before formally rejoinin

 

I am typing this from my father's house, seeing as my home PC refuses to connect to the internet. Mac, Eryl and Raynar is all right, but remember! Do not denigrate the Lusa/Raynar friendship, and do not kill Lusa!

I... have no idea when I'll get back on. I am so sorry, everyone! \

EDIT:

My PC is fixed. I now hate myself for my incompetence...

 

So who will be posting what next to the fanfic thread?
\

 

I'd think Striker will be posting it, because it's his own chapter.

Charles, again, good post, but it has done three things:

Number one, it has screwed up the post I was writing and now I've been scrambling to try to re-write it. You could have least warned us of your intentions . . .

Number two, it has de-canonized SQ, JJK, and YJK. My explaination for Ben and Mia's existence was that Luke had impreginated (can't spell right now cause I'm tired ) Mara offscreen in SQ, and as a result she couldn't be involved in JJk and YJK.

Number three, I was planning on Luke and Mara heading to Bakura, like I had told you, to rescue Malinza.

And I have to phrase this again, please slow down. We are posting in a rotation and we should write in one too. Please wait until it's your turn, thank you. padawanlost and Darth Ishtar have yet to give us a post, I've only written two, FL has completed a couple of short ones, and Striker has only written one. Please hold up.

 

1. Okay, I'll just alter what I wrote so you can do yours. And I *DID* warn you. It's called posting it in this thread and telling you I wouldn't be able to post til wedsday (I was a few hours early, I apologize)

2. Uhhhh JJK already has happened, Anakin is 15 years old. YJK has already happened, its past the Graduate Ceremony. Ditto's survivor's Quest.

3. Have Luke either have been lying to cover his real mission (Borsk has sent spies and Kam is taking his place on Chaladon) or have him detour. Hell, when Luke leaves for Bakura, just have him have already finished at Chaladon.

If you have any concerns about how this interferes with your post then this is the thread to discuss them. It's not the thread to assume that's what posted above is canon. It's just a test bit. We've already ditched fairly vast amounts of text already (most of it mine)

I'm willing to wait. And given two days isn't enough for you guys between my posts, I'm sorry, just PM me when I'm allowed to post again

 

2. Uhhhh JJK already has happened, Anakin is 15 years old. YJK has already happened, its past the Graduate Ceremony. Ditto's survivor's Quest.

Yeah, but did you hear anything about Ben and Mia in any of those? If they were five surely they would have least popped up here and there in JJK and YJK? That's what I meant.

And I've figured out my post already, don't worry about it. Look at the time I posted that, and the conversion from Pacific to Central, and you'll realize that I was kinda not thinking 100% clearly . . .

But that's not why I'm posting. You see, I've noticed that we're all fighting over posting and that's not helping the story any. That's why we need t oestablish a firm writing rotation and simply just wait for someone else to write. I thought the rotation was meant to be like this:

Charlesmagne19
Rk_Striker_Jk_5
Flowerlady
rebel_cheese
DarthIshtar
padawanlost

But we're not writing that way. So this is my proposal: we should start to write that way. The person who finishes his/her chapter and posts it here PMs the next person in line to inform them it's their turn to write. Everyone simply sits tight and continues with their lives. If the next person in line finds a confliction that prevents him/her from writing the chapter he/she will tell the person behind him that he/she can't do it (as well as telling everyone here). In other words, in this case, Sara will be PMing me, and I'd be communicating with Kathryn.

Of course, this means two things: if we do this now I'm either going to have to give up my post and have Striker write it, or Jon and Sara will have to accept their turn being skipped and I'll finish my post and then pass it on to Kathryn.

And now I've realized how fricking hard collabs are. I think we should be glad there aren't as many mistakes as there could be in Bantam and DR books . . .

 

Well I still liked the idea we all contribute a little bit when we can but now I think it's important that you just do your post Rebel Cheese then RK or Flowers (whoever does it first) then DarthIshtar and Padawanlost can add whatever they like. I think we can be loose about collabs.

But yes, I'll just wait until its my turn.

 

*Walks in*

Charlemagne, I have to agree with rebel_cheese on this one. I do appreciate your enthusiasm, but I also want to see some contrivutions from padawanlost and DarthIshtar.

I suppose my YJK-grad post will go next, then. I'm editing it and will have the revised version up with the kids meeting their Masters. And Luke trying to work his way around the word 'padawan'.

 

I'm psyched about the idea of Jaina joining the military like she did in NJO, but my question is, does her impending apprenticeshhip with Mara interfere with that? I can go either way, seeing great angsty potential with her losing her chance before she actually gets it, or with the possibility that she might neglect her training in favor of being a pilot.

I've finally got some time off so I'm going to work up a part about her applying to the Rogues, but I'm thinking that Mara might step in at this point and ask her to continue her training. It could be an interesting point of contention in the storyline. If this intereferes with any posts that are on the way, please let me know.

I know I need to wait my turn, but I finally got my bunny here and want to run with it.

Thanks everyone, and please keep up the great work.

 

I like that, padawanlost. It could go either way, there. I can sure see Mara being wary of Jaina joining the NRDF too quickly. A good source of contention.

All right. Here's my revised post. Again, please chainsaw it to death. We've got people wanting PMs when we update, too. Coolness.

*****
Jacen sat on the edge of the Great Temple?s roof, his feet dangling off into the air and kicking slightly. His entire body still tingled from the ceremony that had happened a few hours ago. A Jedi Knight? still doesn?t quite feel real.

A subtle tingling at the back of his neck heralded the arrival of someone? close to him. The clack of a grappling hook settling into the open skylight behind him heralded the arrival of Tenel Ka. Within minutes of the durasteel implement catching, a single hand shot up, followed by the lithe warrior Jedi.

Tenel Ka walked over and, without a verbal invite, plopped down on Jacen?s right side. Her hand and his unconsciously entwined, their fingers interlacing together. It was some time before she spoke. ?The ceremony was quite nice. You looked quite? dashing in those clothes, friend Jacen,? she said.

In the darkness, it was hard to tell, but Jacen swore she was blushing?

He spoke up. ?Well, now we?ve just gotta go out and save the galaxy, become famous Jedi and secure peace for the galaxy. Among other things.? He flashed a version of his father?s famous smile at her, thinking of some of those other things.

Tenel Ka settled back, catching his train of thought. ?Jacen, I am unsure that my duties would allow that. I am to be Queen Mother of Hapes.? She turned her head to look him in the eye and fully convey the seriousness of her words. ?Would you find such a life satisfying, to be in the Consortium??

The young man?s mouth turned down slightly in a wan smile. ?If I?m with you, then yes.? He suddenly glanced back at the skylight as a silent summons sounded in his head. ?Uncle-I mean, Master Skywalker?s calling us.?

Tenel Ka glanced over at the hole where she had climbed up from. ?That is a fact.? She sprung to her feet, followed by Jacen, and walked over. She knelt down and hooked the grappling hook once more into the skylight edge. ?Shall we?? she asked, holding out the stump of her left arm.

Jacen walked over to her and wrapped both arms around her waist as she slid down, her good hand wrapping around the cord. ?Going down,? he quipped. He placed his right foot on top of her left as she lowered both to the Grand Audience Chamber in one smooth, fluid motion. He jumped off within a meter of the floor and landed, using the Force to slightly cushion the impact before holding out his arms to her. ?Need help??

Tenel Ka arched an eyebrow at him, but leapt off into his arms. They stood there for a moment of eternity before an ?ahem? from the stage caught their attention. They separated, Tenel Ka definitely blushing this time. ?Master Skywalker,? she said, not looking up at the Jedi Master. She noted Jaina, Raynar, Lusa, Anakin, Tahiri and Sakana also in the Chamber, all recent graduates from student.

Luke sat on the edge of the main stage, his pose mimicking Jacen?s on the roof. ?It?s good to see you.? He hopped off as everyone gathered around him. ?The pre-Purge Order had several traditions that I?ve eschewed, such as Jedi not marrying or having children.? His blue eyes twinkled as his mouth turned up slightly. ?Mara, Padme, Mia and Ben have proven to me how wrong that was. They also committed themselves totally to the Order, isolating themselves from the rest of the galaxy. Before she died, Mon Mothma pointed out the folly of that. We need Jedi merchants, Jedi starfighter pilots,? he said, motioning to Raynar and Jaina respectively.

The young woman let out a sigh at that. ?So I can put in my application to the Starfighter Corps?? she asked. ?Master Horn was gonna sponsor me, and it?s been my dream forever!?

Luke patted Jaina on the shoulder. ?Go ahead, Jaina.? He looked back to the group. ?One tradition that I wish to bring back,

 

I love the details of J/Tk's intimacy- entwined fingers and such. I like this direction for them, but of course I knew we could count on you for this.

I've looked through three times and can't find anything that needs the lightsaber of editing, but that's just me.

Cool. And thanks to your post I can work up some Luke/Mara contention as well, since Luke told Jaina to go ahead and apply to Starfighter Corps. Excellent Smithers, my plan is working...

And now to do some writing of my own.

 

You've always been an ace with J/Tk, there was definitely not a single problem with it. You made their relationship subtle to the average eye, yet palpable to those searching for the signs at the same time. Nicely done.

It's short but then again you're more comfortable with shorter posts like Charles. I'm not going to argue with you on that one. That's more personal preferance than a problem. I mean, Kidan sucks in dozens of readers (including me) and his posts usually aren't more than two pages . . .

Yeah, Mara could definitely be concerned about Jaina being in the Starfighter Corps. I tried to write Raynar/Lusa today but I'm finding that Lusa is more trouble than Mara for me . . . which is a shock.

Hopefully I can finish the post by tonight. I was thinking of throwing in a brief Luke/Mara scene if I had room but I'll think I'll let padawanlost take it.

I'll finish it now. Should I inform Kathryn or you, Jon? I think that Kathryn needs to write some H/L, they haven't gotten enough attention yet . . .

 

I told you, Mac, you can do Raynar/Eryl, as long as Raynar and Lusa are still friends.

Inform Kathryn. She can do the H/L but good.

 

Someone really needs to post the next parts to the fanfic thread.

So whose next?

Good stuff as always.

 

I ran into DRL interference yesterday . . . but I will get this chapter done, if not up, by today even if it kills me.

I've discovered that I just can't write Lusa. Looks like that's something Jon and Ish will have to do . . . instead, I'm writing a prequel to Alex's Mara/Jaina post. Alex's given me enough info for me to write a post . . . expect Ben and Mia to feature as well. I've managed to find a way to make it tie it in to Charles' posts as well.

A question: Is Padme born yet or will she be born somewhere in this fic or later on?

Edit: Someone should probably reply to all of the readers on the thread . . . I don't want to do it since it's a reply to Charles' post . . .

 

Let's assume Padme and her sister are a year younger than Ben.

 

I thought that Mia was Ben's twin.

But all right. One year younger. I'll find a way to fit Padme in there somewheres . . .

 

I thought Mia and Padme were the twins...

Looks like my post will be next, after Charles replies to the readers.

 

Yeah, Mia and Padme were one year younger and Ben's kid sisters.

And I loved your revisions btw. They added a lot to the relationship.

Bravo.

 

I finally did it . . .

---

III


It had been several days since those words had begun broadcasting on the communications systems. And it hadn't stopped. It had continued on, incessantly, every few minutes. And it was always the same words. Always. [i]"Are you there?"[/i] And it was starting to drive Garth Briese crazy.

Bendodi Bellow-Reese had dictated that no one should try to communicate with the outside galaxy, even if it was not to answer the call. [i]"If they can keep sending out a call on our primary channel, and continue it, they sure can hack into our emergency channels,"[/i] he had said two days ago, when one of the ExGal scientists had suggested activating the Emergency Broadcast and call for help.

And now he was here, in the middle of night, lying awake, unable to drive the perpetual message out of his head. For the fourth night in a row, he was unable to sleep, to find the comforting black solace that all humans needed to function. He could see the lack of sleep's debitilating effect on his face, for every day he saw enlarging black bags grow under his eyes, he could sense his mood transforming into a whiplash, striking at anything and anyone.

He finally threw off the covers on his bed, and his bare feet touched the freezing metallic floor. After quickly shoving on a pair of socks on his feet, he slunk out out of his room silently, peering left and right, before walking down the hallway.

Part of him wondered whether Bellow-Reese was right. What if they [i]could[/i] be detected just by attempting to contact the outside? Even if they attempted to leave normal channels and go to the encoded emergency ones? What if by attempting contact all he would do was doom everyone? What if the senders of the unbroken, repeating message was something so much more than a bunch of practical jokers.

What if, [i]what if[/i] . . . the players of the message were [i]real[/i]?

He didn't understand what was coming, if something was. But the chances of the callers being a joke was shrinking more and more rapidly each day passed. And what if these seemingly omnipotent extragalactic beings were already on planet? The ExGal scientists had been noting a peculiar storm whipping the biology of this planet, gas was rising out of oh-so-many vents, murdering the animals and choking the plants. It was rapidly approaching the point where they needed oxygen tanks and anti-contamination suits just to walk outside. There was something clearly bizarre happening, even the deniers like Bellow-Reese and Yomin Carr were admitting to that.

Apparently the aliens were already here, and had already begun terraforming the planet. And if his assumption was true-and there was nothing to contrary to prove that it wasn't-it was only a matter of time before they would find ExGal. Or, even more insidiously, they might already know they were [i]here[/i] . . . and were just waiting for the perfect opportunity to kill.

Suddenly, Garth Briese felt very, very afraid.

That was it. No more hesitation. He was going to send out the call for help whether Bellow-Reese and Danni Quee approved of it or not. It was better than sitting around waiting to become a delightful morsel for some extragalactic alien recipe. Garth looked at his body for a moment. Yeah, he was definitely meaty enough to be cut up and served on some sort of prurient human/greenery salad.

He felt like vomiting.

As he creeped further down the hall, he grew increasingly nervous. What if they were already inside this base? What if they had already killed the outpost guards? Other than his roommate snoring back inside the bunk room, it was easy enough to believe he was the last surviving member of ExGal. His imagination running wild, he could almost see shadows of gigantic, sharpened claws around the corners, or a faint silhouette of demonic beast with curved, gargantuan fangs perfectly shaped to tear Garth's flesh apart.

He suddenly became aware of his heavy breathing. Putting a hand to his chest, in a futile gesture to calm his pounding heart

 

I thought Mara was pretty good, there.

All right, then. If there are no objections, then I'll post my... post later today. And start the PM list too.