Before - Legends Plot Bunny Purgatory - Writer's Race Challenge #3

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Healer_Leona, Mar 13, 2005.

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  1. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    This is in response to challenge #3 of the Writer's Race .

    Good thing it doesn't really need to make too much sense... for this does not... uch. :D :D


    "Don't Jump, you?re no where near ready for it yet.?

    ?Ready for what,? Obi-Wan Kenobi asks the leather clad man that walked to the edge of the building and peered over, eliciting a soft ?whoa?.

    ?To take on the Matrix,? he turned and removing dark sunglasses, Neo slowly circles him, studying his apparel. ?Are you an agent??

    ?He?s an agent of the Force,? Qui-Gon Jinn explains matter of factly, making his way to his apprentice and protectively setting himself between his padawan and the passionless individual.

    ?Y?all do not want to be taking that trip,? A brown skinned individual in army dress greens appears. ? "Someone has tampered with the parachutes. I just used the last one to drag one heavy-assed alien through the desert, when I was suppose to be on vacation.?

    ?Come Obi-Wan, we should leave,? the tall and powerfully built man nodded his departure to other the two men and directed Obi-Wan to the door on the opposite side of the roof, where they were confronted by three children.

    ?It?s locked,? the darkest haired of the trio ventured when Obi-Wan reached for the handle.

    ?And it?s the only way out,? a boy with bright red hair gulped nervously.

    ?Have you learned nothing in the threes years here,? the only girl of the group huffed with frustration. ?Here let me help you, ? she smiled up at the younger Jedi, raking a hand through frizzy blonde hair. ?Alohomora,? she said waving a thin stick over the lock.

    They all heard the click of the locking mechanism disengage. Obi-Wan thanked them and followed his master into a darkened hall. ?Master where are we,? the young Jedi called out to the robe clad back descending unseen stairs.

    ?I don?t know Obi-Wan. What I do know is that it is a very perplexing place, with very perplexing,? he stopped before another door wondering if he would need the password the girl had used. Before he could even reach for it, the door swung open and a petite blonde young woman jumped out at them brandishing a sharpened wooded stake in one and a silver crucifix in the other.

    ?You don?t act like vampires,? the girl pouted at the cross, giving it a good shake. ?Well, yay you, not a vampire.?

    ?Vampire?? Obi-Wan asked only just noticing that his master was almost lost in the crowd that congregated in the elegantly decorated room..

    ?You know the kind, no pulse, no breath, all grrrr? arrghh.?

    ?Master..? Obi-Wan called out in desperation moving away form the strangely animated woman. Hurrying along he passed a short, hirsute man with an axe arguing with a tall, thin and fair individual who had a bow and quiver of arrows slung over his shoulder, a towering droid of some kind that flailed it?s arms announcing danger to someone titled Will Robinson and what could not have been, but looked like a two-dimensional, vividly yellow animal of some sort that spoke in an irritating high-pitched voice.

    He found his master making a circuit of the room, doing his best to ignore the unusual goings on which included phantom beings floating in the air, going through walls, followed by three men in coveralls with some kind of apparatus that hummed loudly.

    In short time Obi-Wan again found his master. ?There seems to be no way out of this room. We appeared to be trapped,? Qui-Gon stated.

    Obi-Wan looked at his Master with wide eyes. "How can you be so calm, while you're telling me this? There has to be a way out of here!?

    "I just let the Force guide me,? Qui-Gon placed a reassuring hand to Obi-Wan?s shoulder, ?It?s doesn?t reveal a way out as of yet.?

    ?Wha iz a fork elling ou?? A large, black cloaked figure stepped up and inquired. His entire head was encased hidden behind a frightening helmet and his question was jumbled behind it and harsh, wheezing res
  2. DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    So, the matrix, hp, sw, st.... ::Runs screaming.::
  3. duskwings Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jan 10, 2003
    star 3
    :eek: Oh, my ... it's the big giant crossover of every single fandom in existence. Well, almost -- I think you missed a couple. ;)

    does he wear tights too?

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    That was nice -- funny, well-written, and I like how it wasn't just Spock that was randomly invading the Star Wars universe, and instead you had characters from all sorts of random works. It was cool to see Obi-Wan interacting with them, and it certainly goes a long way towards explaining his reaction at the end.

    Great response to the challenge. :)

  4. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Ish Made you insane did I?? Cool!!

    duskwings, thanks. It was the only way I could conceive of any making any headway with what we had to work with. :D
  5. maychorian Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    LOL! That was great! I was seriously laughing. . . . Well, that doesn't make sense. I really was laughing. Loved all the references. I even got most of them! Oh, so fun. Loved it!
  6. DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    "Made" me insane? No, no, no. GOD made me insane. You made me exercize my god-given insanity.
  7. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    Oh, my ... it's the big giant crossover of every single fandom in existence.

    Anyone else remember on The Tonight Show when Ed would make some statement like that, and he'd get very emphatic about it, then Johnny would say "Oh, how wrong you are, Nose Red Like Fire Hydrant!"? :)

    Seriously, though, I didn't count, but HL, you may have had more refs in this response than I had in mine. Darn. :p You definitely lose points for leaving out Doctor Who, though. [face_shame_on_you]

  8. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    maychorian - Thanks... it was as much fun to write.. once I knew where I was going.

    Ish - Always happy to help you out. ;) :D

    Drabbo - I remember those skit on The Tonight Show.. LOL! Missed Dr. Who?? Drats! :D
  9. Knight_Dilettante Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2002
    star 4
    [face_laugh] Oh golly, very funny Leona. I loved all the random fandom references. The whole thing kind of reminded me of the pub after work in "My Hero" by Tom Holt. Maybe mixed in with the slush pile.


  10. ithesock Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    I think I'll re-iterate Ish's statement about insanity :D

    So many fandoms, so little time...that was a brilliant piece, Healer[face_laugh]
  11. mouse2 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    Brilliant Leona!

    I didn't realize you could have so many fandoms in one place!

    Eek! No wonder my hubby thinks I'm weird. I sorta understood it. Or at least knew who you were talking about. (But it evens out in the end when we're watching a historicial War Movie. ;) )
  12. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    That last line was great, Leona. That was just hilarious. [face_laugh]
  13. Jemmiah Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    "Spock twitched, so he stabbed him again." - ROFLOL!!! Why do I find that so funny?!? Hilarious, Leona. I loved trying to count all the diferent references. As for there being no Dr Who, you could have had extra points for having all nine incarnations in the one post! :D

    Fantastic! You obviously had fun writing it, and it shows. :)
  14. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    k_d - Thanks... My Hero sounds interesting, think I sould check it out. :)

    ithesock - Aww,, thank you. [face_blush]

    mouse - Well, I for one know you're hubby's right, you are weird!! :D :D

    LuvEwan - If you're referring to the "Spock twitched, so he stabbed him again." I can't claim that one, that's k_d's line, I believe. The lines in bold are from the two parts of a challenge and we just had come up with one story for them.

    Jemmish - I don't know why you twisted lass you!! :D ;) I really did have fun with this.
  15. Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    ?And what about this?? Superman pulled at his stretchable top. ?I mean tights? Who?d wear tights in pubic? ? He turned to Batman. ?At least yours are black, they go with everything.?


    This is brilliant, Leona! Positively hilarious!
  16. jodiwent Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    I love the whole super hero tight thing too.

    [face_laugh] Wha iz a fork elling ou?" [face_laugh] Good thing I wasn't drinking my soda when I read that. I could hear the voice of Darth Nader from Hardware Wars. "I can't understand you - - "

    P.S. You should get an extra point for the title. ;)
  17. Calamity Jinn Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2000
    star 4

    Loved it Leona! :)

    And it put a big smile on my face!
  18. oldjedinurse Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2003
    star 4

    Leona! What a great piece of imagineering...I loved it.

    ?Wha iz a fork elling ou?? A large, black cloaked figure stepped up ... Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan shared a suspicious look.

    "We're going in circles. This is getting us no where,? frustration tinged the Obi-Wan tone..."I do believe that I am standing still." Spock glanced to the floor with a perplexed look on his face.

    **wiping tears of laughter**

    ojn @};-

  19. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Miana - thanks.. that came as a big bright image while writing this. LOL

    jodiwent - I was kinda happy with the title too.

    Calam - thank you dear friend.

    oldjedinurse - I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

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