Saga POETRY IN MOTION - AN ANTHOLOGY/AN IDEA WHOSE TIME HAS COME - AND GONE? NEW POSTS - 9/23/03

Wow! This is really more like it. We're beginning to generate a wide range of thoughts and comments and interests, and spur writers (poets) to look at things from different perspectives. Wonderful.

f_o_w - terrific analysis of what lies beneath the placid surface of the Insensitive Lout - making me think maybe I should rename him - - maybe - - but - - nah! In my heart, I still think of him that way, no matter how burdened he was inside, and I may decide to explore that a bit further soon.

Phoenix - OMIGOD! We should hang a label on this that says, "How to take pen in hand to add flesh and bone to a character who had none in his original guise." This was just touching - and chilling at the same time.

Good work, People.

Now - how about some Han/Leia or Luke or Lando or Palpy or Yoda or Mace? Granted Obi is the love of MY life - and I like writing Ani and Qui, etc., even I know the saga does NOT begin and end with him - though, of course, it should. So come on all you Lukie - lovers, etc., etc. Surely you can think of some wonderful verse about your favorite noble heart.

In the meantime, maybe I can get something else posted today - at least, more haiku, if nothing else.

In the meantime, happy Sunday.

CYN

 

Not entirely sure of this one; I find it difficult to deal with the tragedy in Anakin's heart, though I acknowledge that it must have been so. I think my biggest problem has always been that Jake Lloyd was so precociously CUTE - and I HATED to think that the deliciously evil Vader had once been so adorable. GRRR!

Anyway - for what it's worth - here it is (and I do acknowledge that Obi-Wan - for all the devotion and hard work he would have put into his efforts, would NOT have been able to give Anakin what he needed. In truth, I don't think ANYONE - including the Insensitive Lout - could have done that.)

Anyway -



Anakin's Farewell

by CYNICAL21


I stood in shadow
And watched the light adore you.
You moved ? and every step became a dance.
You laughed ? and captured hearts with just a glance,
And I believed that none could stand before you.

I moved to join you,
To leave the gloom behind me,
You took my hand; in truth, you took my heart.
To light me with your glow, to take my part ?
But I stepped back, to meet the fate assigned me.

Ever did I want to be
The man you sought to mold,
The brilliant vision of your noble mind,
But old betrayals left you lost and blind,
And I, alas, am not what you behold.

I?ve loved you so,
Sweet, precious prince of light;
The darkness in me you could not defeat;
Yet, honor-bound, you never would retreat;
You would not let me go without a fight.

Farewell, beloved Master;
You watch me as I fall.
Your eyes are mirrors of a broken soul;
A shattered heart that cannot be made whole;
But I must heed my darkling Master?s call.

And yet I love you still,
And wish I could have been
The Chosen One you sought to make of me;
The blessed and blessing child of prophecy.
Tell me, Master. Could you have loved me then?

FINI


BTW _ I've been reading and rereading the works of Dylan Thomas - who always manages to get me right in the heart - and it occurs to me that our beloved Ewan would be spectacularly good in portraying this marvelously poetic rebel. Maybe we should start a campaign, hmmmm?

CYN

 

You laughed ? and captured hearts with just a glance That about summs up Ewan doesn't it? You do these so well Cyn ! I'm not a big fan of poetry but when it's written this well, even I can appreciate it. I'm all for campaigning for anything that will give us more Ewan!

 

Here's some humorous ones:

TIE Pilots' Song

We can't see out the back
And we're lacking in shields
On defense or attack
Our wrecks litter the field

We've got two tiny guns
And no missiles or torps
Chances are three to one
That we'll end up a corpse

And without hyperdrive
There's no running away
We just hope we'll survive
To fight the next day

Oh our twin ion ships
Emp'ror says they're the best
We keep stiff upper lips
When we're put to the test

Oh, our friends say we're nuts
Or think we're crazy guys
But if you think we lack guts
Just look at what we fly

And now, some limericks:

Lust was Prince Xizor's favorite sin
His pheromones made the ladies' heads spin
Bu his deepest of fears?
That in some atmospheres
The effect might be doubled - on men!

Darth Maul was dressed to terrorize
With his tattoos, horns, and yellow eyes
But his arrogance led
To leave Obi for dead
Til he promptly was cut down to size

The handmaidens were beauties, they say
But got Ani in trouble one day
"I'm so sorry," he said
When Pad found them in bed
"But in the dark, can't tell you from Sache!"

 

Ah, Timmy - me lad - wonderful.

And limericks from a guy's perspective are just totally different - and delightful.

Only you could come up with such a scenario for Anakin's philandering. Bravo!

More, more, more - puh-leeeeze!

CYN

 

You're a terrible influence, Tim.

AHEM - limerick time again.


Two Jedi walked into a bar,
And the younger looked ready for war,
Wailed ?That frog pinched my butt,
And I?d as soon kiss a Hutt,
As to have my tush groped by Jar-Jar.?


Asbestos shield in place - you may flame when ready.

CYN

 

Here's a lame one:

A deserted young girl from Naboo
wanted desperately to find someone new.
She replaced the void
with an astromech droid,
a foul-mouthed guy called Artoo.

 

Sweet, precious prince of light


Awwww! Very nice, CYN. I like 'em both.


I like the TIEpilots one, Tim. For some reason it cracked me up.

@ Lazybones.

A foul-mouth guy called Artoo...

Priceless!

 

Wow, so many wonderful poems. I don?t know where to start. So I will just say great job and I look forward to reading more creative works.

 

FYI - if anyone is interested, there's a new Songs post up on ff.n - when and if they ever get it loaded. You know how slow it can be.

Anyway.

CYN

 

Wow...what a great collection of poetry in such a short time! Kudos to everybody who's been brave enough to post their work here. I don't have time to analyze everybody, but here are a few short notes on some pieces that especially caught my eye:

CYN: From the Wastelands is a wonderful beginning to the thread. I was especially struck by these lines:

And try to conjure magic from the dust
And try to know all is not as it seems

They captured Obi's longing and waiting and wondering during that long exile perfectly for me.

And when I got to Anakin's Farewell--well, that was just heartbreaking.

Tim: I replied on the original thread to your first two poems, but I just thought I'd mention that Foresaken is as powerful as it ever was--still one of my favorites.

Destiny: I should have tempered his powers strong
Now I have the highest price to pay

Awww! This is right on the mark. You can tell, watching Obi-Wan in ANH, that he's still beating himself up for Anakin's fall after all those years. Great work.

f_o_w: I loved your Ode to SW Fanfiction, especially the last line, which made me giggle.

I may or may not get brave enough to try my hand at this myself. Till then, I'm enjoying everyone else's contributions.

 

[edited out the mini-poem. Just don't ask why. ]





BTW, thanks to everyone who's said something about one of my poems. I appreciate it.

 

BELATEDLY


BY: CYNICAL21


I didn't have time to tell you -
And now I never will;
To show you how you filled my life
With hope and light and laughter,
With new respite from broken dreams,
And morning smiles thereafter.
Sweet slumber undisturbed by fears,
Held fast and anchored in your heart
Where malice never entered,
Where darkness held no part.
I see you gripped in mourning,
In bouts of silent tears -
And ache to speak, to tell you
How much they meant - those years
When you stood tall beside me,
My shadow and my light,
The child I saw to manhood,
My legacy - my knight.

FINI

* * * * * * * *

My continuing thanks to all who have posted here - and I hope it goes on. Still waiting to hear from the OT contingent; I know there must be some of you out there, and can only conclude that they haven't posted here because they think that if it's MY thread, it's NOT going to be Lukie-friendly, etc. WRONG!!!!!

This is about poetry, People - of the heart. That's why NO VONG - they are SO not poetic.

As for this little offering - you guys better get busy posting and drown me out - cause I got a million of 'em.

CYN

 

I don't have any more written but here's one at the top of my head.

There once was a Jedi named Jinn
Who let the Chosen One in
He was a good boy; the jedi he'd destroy
But in the end the light side would win.

Man, everyone is doing great. I don't have time for individual omments right now but everyone did well.

 

There's too many to comment on, so I'll just say, great job, everyone!!!

And thank you to all who commented on my poems. I'd try more, but my mind is consumed by my two sequels I need to be writing. AND, I need to get caught up on one or two fics and head over to 'the other site' to take a look at CYN's new post!

 

Okay, I'm really nervous about this...

This poem is like Anakin's thoughts. Here goes!

---

[b]EDIT:[/b] I'd just like to celebrate this poem as being my 1000th entry on the JC.
[hr]

[b]I Remember Being Happy[/b]


I remember being happy.
I really and truly do.
If I reach out, at a moment?s pause, I can remember.
I can taste the warm, sweet garden fruit.
I feel our fingertips brush and we share a smile.
It is the smile of a beautiful secret kept between loving souls.
You lean to whisper in my ear and I laugh; for your breath tickles my skin.
I stop and pick a flower, nestling it in your soft hair.
We pause at the stream.
We laugh at our distorted reflections and our fingers entwine.
You turn to me, a soft question on your lips.
I smile and answer you with a kiss.
When that moment is over, we pull apart.
I gaze at your face, memorizing every line, every contour.
A droplet of dew settles on your eyelash.
You blink; and it becomes a tear.
I wipe it away slowly, letting my thumb caress the soft, succulent skin of your cheek.
You raise your fingers to my lips, stilling my thoughts.
We gaze for a long moment.
Then, you laugh.
And I laugh with you.
My laughter blends with yours and spills out around me.
Suddenly I remember where I am.
And who I am.
I lower my head and sigh, the darkness overcoming me once more.
The warmth fades into my sad loneliness
And I don?t remember the sun or your hair or the kiss.
I can?t see our reflection or the flowers in the garden.
And I can?t feel your fingers or your cheek.
But I [i]remember[/i] being happy.

 

Oh, my! I knew when we started this that there would be moments like this. We have had such lovely submissions from so many gifted poets - and some laughter and some tears.

But this fp - this is the kind of poetry that touches the soul.

Absolutely beautiful.

CYN

 

Ah! [face_shocked] Was going to post, then read fp's offering...

Maybe I'll wait a while.

Beautiful job, freakpudding! I'm in awe!

And I don't know how, CYN, but you brought out a side in Anakin that wasn't totally detestable.

And the ending line 'my knight' was just...wow.

I can't get over what a fantastic idea this thread was!

 

WOW! Some of these pieces are so beautiful and powerful! Keep it up Anyway, heres my first attempt at some star wars poetry. It was never my strong point in school so sorry if there are a lot of inaccuracies etc.

*~~*

My Rescuers - By Jedi_Padawan_Leigh

The door of my cell slides open
A white minion of the dark lord standing there
But he removes his cumbersome helmet
Revealing a boy, His face young and his hair fair
He had come to rescue me
I had never met him before
But something about him stumped me
As we headed out the door

Now were in the garbage shoot
With the wookie and flyboy too
Suddenly the walls start moving
What are we going to do!
A lucky escape thanks to R2
And now we are on the run
Every Storm trooper on the station will be looking for us
Oh this is going to be fun!

Me and the boy
Are now standing on an edge
I kiss him for luck as we swing across the gap
And we make it to the other ledge
We meet back up outside the bay
I look at flyboys ship and stare
Suddenly the guards seem distracted
I wonder what?s going on over there?

We make a break for it across the hanger
The storm troopers are watching a fight
Luke stops and watches with concern
As the dark lord and an aged man, duel with swords of coloured light
The old man is stuck down
Luke suddenly yells outNO!
The storm troopers and the dark lord hear this
I think its time to go!

Now I?m standing in the command room
At the rebel base
Luke is with the rest of the squadron
But Han was out of this place
The countdown draws nearer and nearer
Suddenly my heart skips a beat
Luke manages a positive hit
And the death star explodes, in a spectacular display of light and heat

Luke climbs out from his x-wing
I threw myself into his strong embrace
Han had decided to come back after all
There was more to him than met the eye, you could see it in his face
Now I?m dressed in ceremonial clothes
The entire Alliance is there
Luke smiles at me, Han shoots me a wink
My rescuers turn to face the crowd and cheers fill the air

 

FOREBODING - by CYNICAL21


He is careful to stand in the shadows -
And he watches me.
He watches us all
But somehow I know, most of all,
He watches me.
I feel his gaze, like a breath of wind -
Winter wind, cold wind.
There is no warmth in him,
And I wonder what it must be like
To live in such a frigid vacuum.
Nothing touches him;
He is alone - as he chooses to be
And I know that nothing will move him.
That I can perform wonders
Such as no one here has ever seen,
And it will accomplish nothing.

I have heard that once there was a boy
Who touched his soul and warmed his heart
And earned his trust -
Only to betray him with a smile -
And now he stands and studies me
And sees only the shadow of the one before.
If the fates decree it,as some believe,
He will ultimately concede defeat
And take me to be trained,
But nothing that I do will ever be
Enough to soothe away his hoarded pain.
And someday, when I've grown to need his love,
When he's become the center of my world,
He will have his vengence,
And I will pay the price
For those who drove him from the light
To stand in shadow -
For one who took his love and broke his heart -
And one who waits - forever dark.

I want to cry; I want to run,
But I do neither.
I've left it far too late.
He stands before me,
And I see my destiny in his eyes.

FINI

************ *************

 

<<That's why NO VONG - they are SO not poetic.>>

Wanna bet?

There were once some creatures called Vong
Who wanted to be put in a song
So when they had time
They made up a rhyme
But the poem was not very long.



I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'll delete it if you want.

Real poem from me coming later.

 

f-o-w -

CYN

 

What a lovely tribute!

Okay, I guess I'll throw these out there...

Another Tomorrow
By LuvEwan

The dunes are coarse and grim
A stretch of desolation
The light of your memory dim
In this bitter isolation.

Each step sinks deep
'Til the soul is emerged
Every tear is to keep
For this heart can never be purged.

The mirrored suns burn bright
Emblazoned in my eyes
As blinding as the funeral rite
Searing in the skies.

My skin has hardened to a shell
Victim to the sands
In this heat, shivers I still must quell
That afflict my wearied hands.

The face that was so caressed and admired
By fingers and by gaze
Is a withered mask I have acquired
Over torturous nights and solitary days.

My past is a whisper in my mind
Paled to a pallid shade
Roaming the dusty corridors entwined
By mistakes anciently made.

And what I always strove to provide
For the child I did raise
Is why legions crumbled and died
While I barely suffered a graze.

Through the swirling grit and pain
I looked to yesteryear
Yearning for a relieving rain
To drown the clutching fear.

But the dry, biting wind replied
With its hoarse and taunting voice
How I longed to release a cry?
Then I remember this was my choice.

So I fall to the solace of a tattered bed
And bury my eternal sorrow
I try to forget where that fierce loyalty led
And wait to endure another tomorrow.

Who is This Stranger?


Who is this stranger I see
With haunted eyes and creased face
Wandering lonely as he can be
Possessing such inherent grace?

Who is this shadow I stalk
Through silent, echoing halls
Flesh unyielding bleached rock
A wraith who nearly crawls?

Who is this hollow soul I sense
Hidden beneath the dark hood
Shoulders slumped and body tense
One who can only brood?

Who is this old man I view
From the core of his aching heart
Can he be the sprite I cradled, even after he grew
Even after we were forced to part?

Who is this mockery of my son
That dwells where he has died
Does he believe no battles won
And there are endless tears to be cried?

Who is this intruding ghost
Shuffling along the hill
Forgetting who loved him most
And who always will?


I know. Pretty common stuff. I'll try to write an original trilogy poem, even though I've only seen it once. It'll probably be Han/Leia or something about Luke.

 

Wonderful poems by all! I enjoyed every one!

*ahem*

Just to get the OT ball rolling...

INNOCENCE LOST- by astroanna

I race across the sands
My mind spins, though my path remains straight
Images of what I could find flash through my mind
But I ignore them

Moving even faster now
I hear once more the words of warning
Telling me of the danger
But they, too, I ignore

Finally I reach the place
That was once my home
And all that?s left is a smoking ruin
And I cannot bring myself to believe

Futilely I call to my family
Not really expecting an answer
But knowing that I have to try
Knowing that I have to believe?

And then my eyes remove all doubt
As they fall upon a few charred bones
All that is now left of the people
I once knew and loved

For a moment my eyes close
As the grief almost overwhelms me
But I force my eyes to take in what?s before me
To imprint the image in my mind forever

For now I know what I must do
My path is clear before me
And as I turn to face the destiny that awaits me
My resolve is strengthened

Strengthened by the memory of the loved and lost
And the boy I was
The innocence I took for granted
They, too, lie burning in the sands

********************************************

 

j p l - very vivid, and reminiscent, bringing back those scenes we all remember so well.

LE - poignant and filled with pathos, evoking the loneliness of the desert and the emptiness of the years - and the hearts that endured it all, from differing perspectives.

astro - a wonderful exploration of what that callow youth must have felt when his world was rocked and torn away. Lovely and haunting.

I'm thinking of trying something from a totally different POV - from the darkside, perhaps. Let me think - hmmm - yes, if I . . . later, Folks.

CYN