Saga Ponderances (Reposted!)

This vignette is set immediately after Han and Leia's kiss in ESB. Jedi_Alman beta'd this piece.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars; I'm just playing in the universe.

PONDERANCES

No. That didn?t just happen. He didn?t just kiss her. She didn?t just return the kiss. It was too big. Love was too big. Frightened. She didn?t want to be frightened. He?d leave. He?d turn around and go back. He?d leave her behind. She?d be alone.

Stuck valve. Stubborn valve. Valve won?t move. Arms closing in. Arms around me. His arms. Push away. Only trying to help. Your Worship. Stop calling me that. Leia. So difficult. Be nicer. I?m all right. Sore finger. Scoundrel. His hands. Stop that. Dirty hands. You?re afraid. Not afraid. Getting closer. Trembling. Not trembling. Like scoundrels. Like nice men. Nice man. No. Lips. His lips on mine. My lips on his. Hot. Passionate. Overwhelming. Hands. Hair. My hands. His hair. Right. Together. Good. Too much. Not ready. Overwhelming. Feels good. Can?t think. Don?t stop. Stop. Overwhelming. Sound. Droid. Noisy droid talking. Power flux coupling. Apart. Separate. Cold. Panic. Escape. Flee.

Princess Leia Organa sank gratefully into the pilot?s seat of the Millennium Falcon. She couldn?t believe what had just transpired. Han had kissed her; she?d kissed him back. She remembered running her fingers through his shaggy hair. She?d enjoyed it. That thought scared her, terrified her. She?d worked so hard to build walls around herself, around her heart. But he was breaking through. Leia knew that she might lose him. She knew that the war could claim him, if Jabba didn?t first. Leia didn?t want to lose Han. He meant more to her than she could fathom.

Thankfully, Threepio had interrupted. They?d had no choice but to break the kiss. The irritating droid couldn?t help that he was incapable of allowing emotion to enter into his decision-making process. Leia envied the droid. Threepio didn?t have to worry about affairs of the heart. Leia?s heart was confusing her mind. She wished she could stop herself from having these feelings. She didn?t know when, or why, or how these feelings had formed. But they had.

She needed to think. There was something between herself and Han, Leia knew. She couldn?t deny it. She was afraid to identify it. Yet, she knew. She loved him, and that thought frightened her to her very core. The very idea that Han meant more to her than any other person in her entire life ever had was practically beyond her comprehension. Though her newfound love for Han terrified her, Leia realized with a start that it also brought her comfort. Sinking further into the pilot?s chair, Leia silently stared out of the cockpit viewport, pondering this turn of events. She did not know what she would say to Han when next she saw him, did not know when or how she would profess her love. Leia let out a small chuckle, wondering all the more what she would do.

The End

 

Wow! That was great Zara!!! I really loved how she couldn't think there. lol.

J&J

 

I loved the jumbled thoughts when Han was around her. Very Un princess Leia like you portrayed her as a very confused woman in love.