JCC Post a Christmas present for the poster above you.

A piece of coal!

 

Tunick's neckbeard

 

An ugly Christmas jumper, knitted from my public hair. And you must wear it while celebrating Christmas on the beach.

 

GD auto correct. But it applies, as I'm a streaker.

 

A nude beach

 

So to conclude; you all think I'm a kinky sex obsessed nudist.

A bobble hat, knitted by me.

 

An Alex Rodriguez-signed bottle of pills.

 

A brown belt. And a brown pair of shoes. TO BE WORN TOGETHER.

 

A fine, aged Speyside to show my appreciation for making Tunick dress like a grown up.

 

A (yellow) Hulk Hogan bandana.

 

Tunes are all your gifts basically secret santa presents?

 

No, silly Sai.

 

A Waterford crystal goblet.

 

A copy of Dianetics, signed by Tom Cruise.

 

A box of Padrón 7000 Maduro Cigars

 

Miniature barbells.

 

The phone number of Marco Reus's agent. Admittedly a rather hollow gift.

 

Another generation of cloning.

 

An apple orchard.

 

A strapping young manservant.

 

Does your son know you're sending him to Frieda?

EDIT: as for a gift, do those new stores opening up all over your home state of Colorado in the wake of recent changes in legislation sell gift certificates?

 

The ghost of George Steinbrenner.

 

epic has got a Marco Reus cardboard cut out mask.

He doesn't wear it as that would be just silly, but his missus does when we they are having sex.

 

A beach towel for his trip to the nudist beach. Wouldn't want to get sand in his buttcrack.