Saga Prancing Bantha Blues (humor, Luke, Yoda) - entry for The Dare Challenge - author replies 03/12/08

Title: Prancing Bantha Blues
Author: Golden_Jedi
Timeframe: ESB
Characters: Luke, Yoda
Genre: one shot of pure silliness
Summary: written for The Dare Challenge (see my dare at the end of the story and pity me). I?m not making any profit of this, as usual . Thanks to DarthBreezy and CoolValar for the feedback.



Prancing Bantha Blues

Some days Luke Skywalker wondered if he had been wrong and what he had heard as Ben Kenobi?s voice talking to him in the middle of a typical Hoth blizzard had been really a hallucination. Or, in the remote case that he in fact had received a message from a deceased Jedi Master, if he had received said message correctly. Or in a complete way. Maybe what Ben had wanted to say was really something like: Luke, you must NOT go to the Dagobah system. You will NOT learn from Yoda...

Because Yoda was crazy. Or maybe he was the crazy one for staying with him.

Of course Yoda was curious about his food and how he had gotten so big on ration bars. Some days Luke wondered, aside the previous considerations about his own sanity, if food was the only thing Yoda cared about anymore.

?Luke!? The little green Jedi interrupted his musings, poking him in the ribs with his gimmer stick. ?Stop daydreaming, you must. Asking for service, table four is. Hurry up!?

As the young Rebel dodged through the dozen of tables scattered in front lawn of The Prancing Bantha several customers from at least three different species shouted his requests at him. Thanks the Force ? literally ? he was able to translate what the beings wanted and filed it in his mind to transfer the orders to the kitchen later. It also helped him anticipate the intentions of the couple of Twilek girls in table seven and save his rear end from being pinched.

As he loaded his tray with three orders of roasted swamp rat with smashed tubers on the side for the Devaronians in table six and a second tray with assorted beverages for the group of Ithorians that were awaiting for their gaggli to be ready Luke remembered the day he had met the Jedi Master.
//

After crashing and half-burying his X-wing in the nearby swamp his hope had flickered briefly when the little green stranger had say that he knew Yoda and he could guide him to his dwelling. But he had insisted that they must eat first, so he was not that surprised when the eatery appeared to be their destination.

Instead of sitting at a table or the bar, the little creature went behind the counter and stepped into the kitchen. A Ugnaught busied himself around a cooking fire mixing something inside a steaming pot with a big wooden spoon. His guide almost fell into the pot sniffing the contents and then rushed, picked a can from a shelf and added some dried herbs to it.

A few moments later Luke was sitting on a small stool in front of a bowl of soup that smelled better than anything he had tasted in his life. ?Eat!? The mysterious midget ordered.

?But I need to find Yoda...?

?Patience... It?s the Jedi?s time to eat too...?

He was not sure what happened next. Maybe the strange soup had some hallucinogen in it but he could have sworn he heard Ben again, arguing with the stranger.

?I cannot teach him, the boy has not patience,? the annoying toad-like creature sentenced at last. He will learn patience, the ghostly voice of Kenobi argued back. Or maybe he said he won?t? It was difficult to tell in the noisy kitchen. A second Ugnaught had joined the first and they were arguing between them in their own language. What did this all mean? Maybe the guy with the pointy ears was a ventriloquist and everything was an elaborated trick...

The second Ugnaught went out through the back door and came back bringing in a plate with a huge piece of grilled... something on it. He presented it to the muttering green creature. He turned his attention back to his soup ? he was rather hungry after all - but to his horror, the next thing he heard was the

 

Bravo. That's got to be one of the more out-there dares this competition has produced, and you fulfilled it brilliantly. The very idea of Yoda running a diner is hilarious, but add in Luke trying to carry three trays at once and dodge Twi'leks wanting to pinch his rear . . . brilliant

I love the way you handled the death of the critic, and how Yoda had had a grand plan after all.

?Once in nine hundred years an original idea I get and young Skywalker ruins it... Typical!?

Again, bravo!

 

hmm err interesting. Though kudos for you for writing about Yoda. More people should.

 

?I can?t believe it!? Luke whispered, realizing that poisoning the critic had been a big mistake.

?That?s why you failed!? Yoda sentenced. ?Now, back to traditional training, we must resource,? he muttered, while he closed down The Prancing Bantha forever and dismissed the Ugnaughts. ?Once in nine hundred years an original idea I get and young Skywalker ruins it... Typical!?

He brought Luke his backpack and instructed him to wear it, then slipped himself in. ?Start running, now!? He ordered.

Luke started what would be the first of many long, challenging, tiring training sessions. And there were no tips waiting at the end of it.


This was AWESOME!! Really, I could quote the whole thing back to you. Absolutely hilarious and I could really see poor Luke being an overworked waiter, and dodging the Twilek Girls.
SO creative and well done! Bravo!!

 

That was awesome!!

?My passport into the Emperor?s entourage, he was! Lure Palpatine to come out here to defeat him, I could have!?

Oh Luke!

I loved it.

Great response to the challenge

 

[voice=Yoda]Great job with this dare you have done.[/voice]

 

I literally am not able to breathe because of how funny this was. It made 90% sense.

BTW, is the Swooning Bantha also owned by Yoda?

 

Well done on an excruciating Dare!!!!

 

I've seen worse, but it was trying for me because I had never written something based on Yoda before.

Thank you!

Indeed.

I couldn't help it.

That was the part that gave me more trouble .

I always had the feeling that Yoda had second intentions with everything.

Thanks again!

Exactly my thoughts when I received the dare!

I'm still congratulating myself too.

Probably . Thanks for reading!

Please, don't!

THAT's awesome!

Thanks so much!

Heeee...

Thank you!

Thanks!

Ouch! At least I know you survived because I saw you posting in the Social thread!

Sense in the nonsense? That's weird...

No, Obi-Wan owned that one until he had to leave Tatooine.

You tell me...! Thank you!

 

Oh my!! Your dare....oh my gosh....

You did so well with the materials you were given. I was laughing my...erm, behind off.

Fantabulastic writing, Golden_Jedi!

 

Dagobah serving as a premiere restaraunt planet is mind boggling, to say the least. Using it as both a Jedi training regime for look and as a cover to lure Palpatine out to try disposing of him yet again is even more mind boggling. I liked your dare!

 

Meredith_Kenobi: Oh my!! Your dare....oh my gosh.... You did so well with the materials you were given. Thank you! I was laughing my...erm, behind off. Cool! Fantabulastic writing, Golden_Jedi! Thanks again.

Bri_Windstar: Dagobah serving as a premiere restaraunt planet is mind boggling, to say the least. Indeed . Using it as both a Jedi training regime for look and as a cover to lure Palpatine out to try disposing of him yet again is even more mind boggling. I liked your dare! It was... interesting and definitely out of my usual grounds.

 

Excellent! I enjoyed that response.

 

I'm glad!

 

Oh My Land!!! That was just hilarious and a brilliant response to the challenge, Goldie!

I laughed through out, but his really made me chuckle: It also helped him anticipate the intentions of the couple of Twilek girls in table seven and save his rear end from being pinched.

You had a really tough Dare, but rose to the challenge!!

Bravo and well done!

 

Thank you!

I couldn't resist it when that image came to my mind.

 

That was really hilarious. The dare was unbelievable but you pulled it off beautifully. LOL on Luke killing off the food critic.

Great job.

 

Thanks, Diane!