Before Pre TPM - Dooku/Qui/Jocasta - 'One Lesson Too Many' Completed - 24 Feb 05

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Kynstar, Jul 31, 2004.

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  1. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Well looks like this is going to be an early b-day dedication to Layren. Kind'a couldn't sleep this Fri/Sat so whipped this up for you! And also hopefully to make you feel better since you mentioned you were a little sick. Forgive booboos if there be any! ;) I didn't specify planet in order to keep it short and simple. Hope you enjoy it and hope you feel better!

    For the other readers: Hope it comes to par for you as well ;) Enjoy. I soooo much wanted to make this longer... but it's short ;)

    ______

    "You have become more unruly as the day has progressed. Do tell me why, why have you Padawan?" Jedi Master Yan Dooku asked as he drew himself up to his little over 6 feet in height. He was currently looking down his nose at the teenager. Keeping his hands clasped behind his back as he took on the instructor role once more. His dark robe swirled around him as the wind whipped the cloth roughly revealing an equally dark tunic and pants. His elegantly curved saber clipped on his belt reflected the sunlight shinning through the partly cloudy skies.

    Qui-Gon Jinn, at sixteen was nearly the same height as his Master, but not quite as broad. His body was still lean but it held the promise of further growth. His clothing was nearly the opposite of what his Master was wearing. Clothed in a light tan tunic and pants, even his robe was much lighter in color. Crossing his arms and lifting his chin slightly, the Apprentice stared back at his Master. His blue eyes nearly glared with defiance.

    "Because Master, what I did was right and you can't admit that to yourself. It grates on your nerves to realize that your very own Padawan did something right for a change while doing something else than what you originally ordered." Qui-Gon tried to keep his voice even, but it was hard. The two were nearly equals when it came to being stubborn. Over the years the two have bumped heads and some nearly came to full-blown arguments. Usually Qui-Gon would back down, but not this time. He had been correct in saving the sick stratt. Which normally at birth are known to be cuddly balls of fur, but quickly grow into voracious, muscle-bound carnivores with deadly claws and razor-like fangs and measure well over six feet in length from the tails to their snouts. These creatures were known to be a famous specialty at black-market pet shops. They had found out from the local wildlife specialist that if the animal had gotten worse, it could have without a doubt gone on a killing spree. Unfortunately the closest living beings near the beast's home that would have been considered a threat to it were the occupants of the town.

    "I saved their lives, Master. Think about what Doctor Kel said. He said it would have torn through the village."

    Dooku's brown eyes had slowly darken and sharpened as they reflected his gradual rising anger. A muscle twitched near his right temple, moving in rhythm with his elevating heart rate. He was controlling his breathing, but barely.

    "That was not an excuse to defy my orders. I told you to stay with the mayor and his family while I finished with the negotiations. You left them. You went out on your own. Left them, Qui-Gon. They were considered at risk! They had been threatened earlier this week! And you left them because of an animal?! Dooku lost some of his control and the words came out harshly: "An animal, Padawan!" He shook his head, causing the little over shoulder length, dark brown hair to sway against his back. He had the hair hanging loosely due to the cold season that the village was currently having, but had the bangs tied back in a leather strip in order to see clearly in case combat erupted.

    "Animals are precious life too! Just because they aren't as sentient as most beings in the universe are, it is no excuse!" Qui-Gon shot back as his control slipped. Why can't he see that? He's strong in the Living Force too? Why doesn't he understand?

    Dooku shook his head once more as he picked up on the young man's thoughts through their bond. "I do understand, Qui-Gon. But you had or
  2. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Good story. But you realize that Qui-Gon would never have accepted Obi-Wan's defiance either. Perhaps Qui-Gon learned a little too much from Dooku. And I'm sure that Dooku made Qui-Gon's life just that much harder after this incident!

    Nicely done!
  3. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Ooooooh Kynstar!!!! :eek:

    That was wonderful! I could feel the emotions playing off the two of them. I liked how Dooku didn't even realize that he'd hit him and how Qui-Gon wouldn't speak to him after he was punished. Meditation!? that's all!/ goodness if he's spoken like that to me he'd be cleaning floors for a week! Good job though! I really enjoyed it!


    =D= Do another one! hehehe
  4. Jedikma Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 4
    Kynstar !!! I loved this!! It was great!

    You did a great job with Dooku. He seems to be on the edge here and it is easy to see how he eventually ended up a Sith.

    Also liked the way you potrayed Qui-Gon. I could just see this confrontation!

    As for Dooku heading to see Jacosta. ;) ;)

    hehe I loved this! (Oh, I said that already)

    Is there going to be more to this story?

    I hope you do some others like this one, at the very least!

    ~ Jedikma :)
  5. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Beautiful job, Kynstar! :) I loved how you portrayed both Dooku and Qui-Gon. Perfect.

    That was an amazing vignette. Hope to see more of them from you. ;) *hint hint*
  6. LilQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 2
    I LOVE IT!!! :D Nice job.
  7. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Intriguing Kynstar. I certainly can see where their being so alike would lead to problems. I can't blame Dooku for chastising Qui his disobediance, even the punishment, but the slap... not good.

    Wonderful one poster!!
  8. jeday Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2004
    star 2
    Wonderful!! Hope there'll be more. :)
  9. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Wowzers!!! :eek: [face_blush] I didn't expect such an awesome turn out! And for one that was juz a 'spur of the moment' type fic as well! Hehehe THANKS!!

    dianethx: Hey! ;) Was curious if you were gonna read it hehehe. I'm so happy you liked it!! Yeah poor Dooku...he thinks that he has been to easy on Qui maybe.

    Layren: Well, my Lady, I am extremely pleased that you enjoyed the fic!! 'Twas for thee, madam. :D
    [:D]
    As for punishment... well he did meditate for 6 hrs and went without supper. You know how growing teenagers need their food (specially boys)! You know darn well he'll be nearly starved by breakfast! hehehe

    Jedikma: Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it as well! Yeah Dooku and Jo are 'good' friends hehehehe

    Well if you guys would like more...I guess I could scrounge my brain if it becomes wanting for more! ;) I will leave it up to the readers ;)

    LuvEwan: Thank you! I am so glad you liked it as well ;) I was nervous on Qui's part, but guess with what folks are saying they liked him all right.

    hehehehe well you never know...I might sneak a few differ type of viggies out there once in a while ;)

    LilQui_Gon: Thanks!! I am pleased you enjoyed it! New to the board? Hope you have fun! I'm somewhat new and I've been having a blast myself!! :D

    Healer_Leona: Thanks so much! Yeah that lil bit that Qui said kind'a pushed him slightly to far.

    Yep with the two being stubborn and somewhat prideful (bad combo at that) that they are most definitely gonna be stepping on each others' toes occasionally!

    jeday: Hey you! :) How ya been? Glad you enjoyed it as well! As for more... like I said earlier depends on you all. Was juz a 'out on a whim' type :) but it could easily go further if I set my mind to it :D


    You guys... I got warm fuzzies! Thank you sooooo much! [:D]
  10. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    I have to work this weekend :_| But I'm looking forward to reading this Kyn! :D
  11. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    =D= Dooku!!! [face_love] A young Dooku!!! *hehehe* You do a wonderful job here showing the stubborness of both Master and Apprentice. ;) Wonderful seeing these two battle wills together! I just read LE's Eyes Half Closed and this was a nice follow up! Oh I'm getting bit by plot bunnies....EEEK!!! :D

    So he's going to go talk to Jocasta Nu! :D I wouldn't mind reading more Kyn *hint, hint* :D
  12. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Hehehehe hey t_s I figured you'd like this. If you truly enjoyed it you are going to enjoy this next bit even more. I could not resist the temptation for this last post. This will be the end for real... well unless you all desire more! ;)

    It took me several tries to finish it due to having to stop and fan myself. *Whew* Got awful hot I tell you!

    Hope you enjoy this lil bit... well it's a lil longer than the first bit. As for their first kiss... I am doing a lil tale with a couple other authors and it will have their first kiss in it. But this is technically a little bit after that.

    This is right after Dooku leaves Qui-Gon to meditate for his punishment.
    _______
    Second Kiss

    The Jedi Temple's library?one of the largest rooms in the Temple there was only a couple of others that meet or superseded the size of this immense room.

    Master Dooku's scowl shifted slightly as he remembered the several times he had hidden in this very room when he was a child. When he had nightmares that would drive him from the crèche in horror. He would sneak out and slip down into the library for comfort.

    He stopped as he approached the busts of the Lost Ones. Turning, he looked at them as he clasped his hands behind his back. How ironic that these heads were a comfort to a frighten little boy. His scowl deepened as he was reminded about his weakness as a child. I am afraid no longer! Nothing frightens me any more. A sneer replaced the frown as his eyes took on a glint of arrogance.

    "Yan? You're back from the mission already?" Jocasta Nu, the newly appointed Archivist asked as she walked up behind the tall Jedi. She concentrated for a moment with the Force and noticed the instability that radiated around Dooku.

    The tall Jedi turned on his heel and looked down on his friend of old. He silently berated himself for not focusing; he had not sensed her approach.

    "Yes, we are back." He replied crisply as his eyes took in the slight changes of the Archivist that he noticed. She had her hair up once more in the bun and was wearing an off-white tunic with designs on the tabard. His hard expressions lighten a little as his muscles began to relax some. Just being near her has calmed me considerably.
    He sighed inwardly as he braved a small smile. "I'm sorry Jo. Qui-Gon and me?we had?" He shook his head and looked away. He spotted several initiates across the way and focused on the youngest for the moment.

    Jocasta was slightly taken back by the sharpness of his words. But she wasn't all that surprised. She was used to his moods and lately they had been on a tangent. She smiled warmly as she reached out to pat his arm in order to get back his attention. "Come let's go to my office and talk." She headed down one of the multiple rows that consisted of data varying from governments and their politics to planets and their wildlife. She headed for the far back wall of the library, nodding in return to those that greeted her as she passed by them.

    Dooku followed at a slower rate. This is why I came?to talk with her. But now?

    Jocasta entered her office, which was a small room consisting of a desk that had a terminal on it, several chairs, a small end table that had a pitcher with some water in it. Her desk had durasheets spread across it with a cup near the keyboard. The walls were of a light tan in coloring while the floor was carpeted with a shaggy dark brown material. Taking a seat behind the desk, she motioned for Dooku to sit as well.

    Dooku hesitated as the door closed behind him. He had not really talked with her lately. As the thought crossed his mind, he took a chair and positioned it in front of the desk. He turned it around and straddled it. He then laid his arms on the top of the chair's back and rested his chin on them. He sighed quietly as a strange weariness crept up on him unexpectedly.

    "It has been a while has it not?" His elegant voice reflected the weariness that he felt. Lifting his head, he stared into the archivist's face.

    Jocasta was shocked by the
  13. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    So romantic, Dooku and Jocasta. Very intense Kyn! Loved the relationship between these two [face_love] It was so sweet. And at the end with the robes... :D I really enjoyed reading about our favorite Sith!!! I wouldn't mind if you continued, Kyn.... of course I really miss Lindoro....*hint,hint* EEEK!!! ;) Dooku, Lindoro, Dooku, Lindoro, Dooku...HELP ME! Too many wonderful shady characters!!!! Can't BREATHE!!! :D

    Great job!!! I've really been enjoying these snippets of Count Dooku's early life and it makes his character have so much more depth. [face_love]
  14. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    This was wonderful. I really liked the way they fought their feelings for each other and then gave in. Now, they will have to deal with the consequences but Qui-Gon was right. I'm sure Yan does feel more at peace, deep down inside.
  15. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Ahhh so many revelations here. Yan and Jocasta going from friends to lovers and even more telling that Qui-Gon one caught them kissing. Ho Ho, I've no doubt that that brought out all kinds of awkwardness from his master.

    Well done Kynstar!
  16. Jedikma Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 4
    This was definately intense! :D

    The thought of Qui-Gon catching them kissing does give one cause to think about Dookus' behavior towards the boy.

    Well done, Kynstar!

    ~ Jedikma :)
  17. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    How did I miss replying ot this? I thought I had already -- ahh well I will remedy that.

    I love the way you showed Jocasta and Dooku's relationship. I think the Jedi standing on love is a bit too strict myself and I stand by that as being one of the reasons that they were destined to fall. I would love to see this turn into a longer story :D You do such a good job with all the characters it's lovely :)

    Bravo! Encore!

    =D=
  18. LilQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 2
    Hey Kynstar, yes I am new to the board. I'm a big Qui-Gon fan :), He's the reason I love Star Wars. Down to the subject, I'm diggin the story. Will there be more? [face_batting]
  19. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    t_s: Yeah like I said earlier; I could not write all this in one setting! Even though I didn't go into details, the kissing was more than enough to 'rock my world'! hehehehe *SIGH* Now if I could juz find me a guy like that.... hehehe

    Yeah, wasn't sure how folks would handle the take on the robe at the end. Small things like a person's scent or any smell in general can trigger memories no matter how far back the memories go.

    Hehehehe! Breathe girl! ;) Fear not! I'm working on the next section with Lin and Mena. Thanks so much! [face_blush] So glad you enjoyed it!

    dianethx: Thanks! Yeah... his won't be really all that bad. Except he's going to be acting almost like a child after tasting ice cream for the first time; wanting more! hehehehe

    Jo on the otherhand...she will have the hardest trouble recovering. She has always adhered to the Code and never - not even the slightest - strayed from it until now. She is frightened and confused as she realizes that she has to handle this on her own. Not very likely that she'd go rushing to her old Master for guidance on this! LOL!

    Yep, Dooku does actually feels more at ease and he'll realize that later on. He won't be as gruff toward Qui! ;)

    Healer_Leona: Yeah hehehe I'm gonna dive further in that first kissing scene that Qui interrupted. Needless to say Dooku and Jo were taken back when Qui caught them. hehehehe Cuz the kiss juz 'sort of' happened. Thanks! Glad you liked it!

    Jedikma: Yep, he's been somewhat hard on Qui hehehe as if you all hadn't noticed. It upset him for his Paddy to catch him in an 'un-Jedi' let alone 'un-Master' like position! hehehehe Thanks!

    Layren: Hey b'day girl! (well in a couple days rather hehehe) Thanks! Glad you liked it! Yeah those two were meant to hit it off. Their views differ in many areas, but they're sooooo sweet together! [face_love] If only I could switch places... hrmmm ;) hehehehe

    LilQui-Gon: Yeah doesn't Qui juz rock??? He's so dreamy too! *SIGH* If I could juz run my fingers through that long hair... and be gruffed by his lil beard... *slaps self* hehehe sorry! ;)

    Thanks for commenting and swinging by! Welcome, welcome to the boards then! Oh you'll get more than your share of Qui here! There are sooooo many lovely stories of Qui! Angst, drama, action... etc all kinds!!

    As for more of this story... depends on all the readers. If they truly wish it... I juz might comply. ;)
  20. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    I followed the link in your One Last Hope thread. Although I like Dooku I have never given him much thought. With these 3 vigs I may reconsider. ;) I commented on One Last Hope in the Challenge thread.

    One Lesson Too Many.
    Very believable portrayal of Qui-Gon and Dooku. Qui-Gon?s independence is showing strong and causing problems. He would be a handful who uses Dooku?s lessons well, including defense. Dooku?s stubbornness after the incident also seems to fit into his personality. Neither addressing what happened and Dooku?s strictness ties in with Qui-Gon?s later interactions to Obi-Wan nice. The chilling day matches the clash between them. :)

    Second Kiss
    The word intense was used. :eek: It was all that. That was a warm fic to read on a cool afternoon. I had been able to imagine Dooku as a romantic in the past but somehow not Jocasta. We are all young once... :) Great friendship they have there. ;) I specially liked his trauma over cleaning the robe. Odor does bring out intense memory. :D I loved his struggle with considering sleeping with it. :p [face_laugh] Cute ending to a very emotional fic. Oh, I was also glad it seems to have smoothed out between Qui-Gon and him.
  21. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Although I like Dooku I have never given him much thought. With these 3 vigs I may reconsider.

    Hey juz the fact that I got ya thinking of him makes me smile! :D

    I am glad that you liked my portrayal of the two in One Lesson Too Many The two are so alike that their clashing was bound to happen, and with Qui being in his teens (which is a problem for most kids during that stage) it isn't helping any either.

    Qui-Gon has gotten used to Dooku in the matter of when something serious happens, lay low for a while and things will blow over. Just sometimes it might take more than a little while. Dooku did NOT mean for the slap to happen and he secretly hopes Qui never brings that back up. It's one of those 'I won't say anything if you don't' type of moments.

    Glad you enjoyed the first section!! :D

    The word intense was used. It was all that.
    hehehe! You know what's funny? It's the first time I've ever done a 'mushy' type fic. Never really did romance... so I had to kind'a throw in what I would actually like and base it off what I knew about Dooku. He was never a 'touchy-feely' type or talked about his feelings. So I had him explore that a little in Second Kiss with Jo. She brought out a side of him that he had no inkling of an idea that existed.

    Hehehe I don't imagine Jo as a romantic either! ;) Kind'a why I let him lead this through. That and she's more adhere to the Code than he is or ever was.

    :D :D I'm glad you liked the robe part! hehehe yeah I couldn't resist throwing that lil bit at the end about rather or not to sleep with him. His pride and 'manchoism' won out in the end. ;) hehehehe

    Yep, yep, the two are great friends...the friendship has juz taken a lil bit step off the normal pathway.

    Yep, his lil 'mingle' has cleared his mind somewhat ;) hehehe

    Thanks so much for reading and commenting!! :D
  22. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    At the request of several readers... ;) hehehehe I will have another post w/in the next couple of days. Juz thought I'd let you know.
  23. Jedikma Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 4
    Oh, I can't wait Kynstar !!!

    I look forward to it! :D
  24. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Here's the next lil bit. I broke it in half due to the length of it. I'll post the next part either Sunday or Monday. Hehehehe I still can't believe you got me to continue this! ;) Then again... once you asked it kept nagging me... well a certain tall, lusty, charismatic... OK enough... you get the picture. *He* kept persisting! ;) hehehe
    __________

    Qui-Gon opened his eyes and turned his head toward the small window in his room. He had the blinds slightly open in order to catch the light from the sun. He noticed that it was just starting to lighten on the horizon. Another morning has arrived? His thought drifted as yesterday?s events resurfaced in his mind. I hope enough time has passed for him to cool off. I know I must have patience?but sometimes it is so hard with him. Sighing he turned his head and looked up at the ceiling. I must focus on the here and now not on my anxieties. He reminded himself as he sighed once more.

    Getting up out of bed, he turned his alarm off. He was always up before the alarm would go off, but he set it anyway just in case the day ever came that he happened to sleep in later. That day had yet to come.

    Being the morning person that he was he grabbed his robe and put it on over his sleep clothes as he walked barefooted to the balcony. Opening the doors that led outside onto the small walkway, Qui-Gon smiled as he watched the sunrise.

    The traffic was flowing to and from the many buildings across the way. Night never truly came to Coruscant and at that thought the smile on his face became a small frown.

    There were times when Qui-Gon wished that the Jedi Temple was actually on a different planet. Like Chandrila or even Naboo. He sighed as he thought of those two planets? luscious forests. At least we have the Room of the Thousand Fountains. I don?t know what I would do if we didn?t.

    He bowed his head and sighed once more as he lifted his head back up to see the sun creeping slowly upward. He chuckled as he shook his head causing his long braid to flop over his shoulder onto his chest. I would adapt as any Jedi would. But he knew it would be hard if he did not have that room to fall back on. Being strong in the Living Force was sometimes a burden, but to Qui-Gon it was a gift and he would always treasure that gift.

    Qui-Gon turned and closed the doors as he walked back into their sitting room. He knew that his Master would be up shortly and that he would be expecting his caf. Qui-Gon chuckled as he laid his robe over one of the chairs in the kitchenette and began to prepare himself some tea and his Master?s caf.

    The alarm began to buzz, alerting the Jedi Master of the hour. Dooku grunted and flopped onto his stomach as he tried to block out the ever-persistent sound, but it would not go away. After about fifteen minutes of lying there listening to the annoying sound, he sighed and got up from his bed. Shutting off the alarm he then made his way out of his room and headed for the kitchenette.

    Qui-Gon was chuckling as he finally heard the buzzing stop. Guess he had a rough night. Thinking about yesterday ruined his mood as he automatically lifted a hand to his cheek. I will not dwell on what happened. I caused it by accusing him of failing in his instructing. How could I say that? His shoulders slumped as he got his cup and his Master?s caf to put on the table. His stomach rumbled as it reminded the young man that it had been quite a while since he last ate. I?ll cook something up once Master comes? At that thought the tall Jedi entered the kitchenette.

    ?I have your caf ready, Master.? Qui-Gon stated as he handed the cup to the rough looking Master. Dooku looked as if he had been up all night instead of sleeping. His hair was all in a mess while his face looked rugged.

    Qui-Gon wasn?t sure whether or not to comment so he decided against it. ?Want some eggs Master?? He asked as he brought out a skillet and took eight eggs out of the cooler. Grabbing a bowl he began to break the eggs over the bowl.

    ?No
  25. Jedikma Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 4
    So Jacosta had to take a little sabbatical? Looks like these two will have to work at getting past the guilt. Can't wait to see what happens next. ;)

    Glad to see you are continuing this. :)
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