Prequel plot

Ok, so I heard at some point that George Lucas was considering making another prequel set much further back with Yoda as the hero. Well I was thinking about a logical prequel to what we've already seen and come up with my own little story outline. I was hoping a little critique, and maybe some advice before I send it to GL for his approval. Here goes:

Star Wars: A New Beginning
Our hero, we shall call him Dak Sheehan is a former Jedi that left the order because he fell in love at a very youing age. He chose to leave the Jedi, feeling that he missed out on much of his childhood training as a padawan, he was always uncertain of the Jedi's dogmatic training. He now employs himself as a bounty hunter, using his powerful yet unrefined Jedi skills to negotiate deals between gangsters and bring criminals to justice. During his adventures, he is hired by a young, rather ambitious man that shows great natural force wielding abilities. He brefriends the young man, who we shall call gus. During their conversations, they both brood over the lack of options for those attuned to the force, with the Jedi order being the only so-called legitimate use for their talents. Dak shares with Gus a brief story about the ancient order called the Sith.

Act two: Dak travels with Gus to his home on Coruscant, naturally he met his wife there as he was a young Jedi in training. While there the two seperate and Dak, who has always had the force strong with him feels a strange tremor of the dark side while travelling through the city. It is almost as if he feels somewhat overcome by the darkside for a moment and then it passes. During this time, we also see Dak interact with Yoda, who at just over 800 years old is still a very imposing force amongst the Jedi counsil. He also meets a younger Mace Windu and has a rough encounter with his former master, Mag Shindoor. It is clear from these conversations that the pacing of this film is much slower and relaxed than previous star wars films. We see in Dak a true human quality of his desire to be greater than he is but remain with his family. We fast forward about 5 years. At the end of act 2, Dak is called out on another job that takes him to the planet of Kessel. He meets up with the gangster Miser DeNooth, whom he is supposed to capture. During the ensuing battle, Dak is wounded and left unconsious as DeNooth escapes in his space cruiser.

Act Three: Dak is able to stow aboard a smuggler ship carrying spices from kessel to the planet Alderaan. There he is able to find medical treatment for his wounds. He quickly returns home to Coruscant to find his home in ruins, and his wife and children murdered. It is obviously the work of DeNooth. His first thoughts are revenge, but he knows that the dark side lurks in this thought. As he has lost all he loved and cared for he goes to Mag Shindoor to plead for the chance to return to the Jedi order. He feels that he has finally found the humility needed to give himself to the Jedi fully. Shindoor reacts coldly and denies his plea. He shows little sympathy for his former padawan. When Shindoor reports his encounter to Yoda, he is informed that there is a rougue space cruiser that has taken hostages of a medical freighter near Sullist. He dispatches Shindoor to investigate and free the hostages. Meanwhile Dak is hovering closer and closer to the dark side. His thoughts of revenge are only fueled by the rejection of the Jedi. He packs his personal shuttle in preparation to begin a search for Miser DeNooth, and as he is ready to leave, he receives a visit from Yoda. Yoda has come to tell him that his former master has lost contact with the Jedi during his investigation on Sullist. He was aware of his desire to rejoin the Jedi, and convinces him that by going to find and safeguard his master would be a great step in coming back into the fold. Dak travels to Sullist where he finds the freighter orbiting the planet and he sees his old master's personal craft docked there. He enters to find his old friend Gus standing over the dead body of Shindoor. It is now that G

 

wow thats very impressive except u might want to make yoda a bit younger ya know but other then that it sounds awsome i.m. me if u need help with charector names