JCC procedural show starring quirky characters rpg

Discussion in 'Community' started by hudzu, Mar 4, 2013.

  1. JoinTheSchwarz Comms Admin & Community Manager

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    Nov 21, 2002
    star 8
    I'm sure Vinny saw something that's going to be really important during the second act of the episode.

    "Hey, nice day, right? Do you like Ava Gardner and butteflies? Why not?"

    *rubs lucky match*

    *smirks knowingly*
    Last edited by JoinTheSchwarz, Mar 4, 2013
  2. hudzu Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 1, 2003
    star 6
    the scene was rapidly approaching madess. fecal matter being hurdled every which way. appearances by zooey deschanel and lab techs who have no business near a crime scene. there was only one option.

    tear gas the hell out of the place and hope for the best.

    i affixed an oxygen mask to my face, and hoped to god that when the smoke cleared the corpse would still be in decent condition and we could get some real police work going.
  3. JoinTheSchwarz Comms Admin & Community Manager

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    Nov 21, 2002
    star 8
    "But... I had some good information. Vin said he saw that hobo I nearly killed earlier leaving Mike's appartment last night with a carton of cigarettes. You know what that means, right?"

    *knowingly smiles*

    "That hobo looked at my lucky match with disgust. That means he doesn't smoke"

    *cut to commercials*
    Last edited by JoinTheSchwarz, Mar 4, 2013
  4. TypoCelchu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 1, 2005
    star 6
    I put a randomly acquired flower petal in my hair and jump on my retro bicycle and leisurely pedal down the lane while a shins track (check iTunes for availability!) loops in the background.
    jp-30 likes this.
  5. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 7
    *disintegrates from the "tear gas", which turned out to be napalm*
    Last edited by Rogue_Ten, Mar 4, 2013
  6. Ramza JC Head Admin and RPF Manager

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2008
    star 7
    I'm a cameo appearance by a current popular celebrity, because I owe the producer a favor for that incident in Las Vegas that we will not speak of.

    "Hey, I was in [that film you might have heard of] but for our purposes I am actually a random witness."
    Last edited by Ramza, Mar 4, 2013
  7. EmpireForever Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 15, 2004
    star 8
    Make sure you gather plenty of evidence so I, a forensic computer programmer, can examine all of it myself in the lab.

    Oh, and pick up some donuts from Vinny's. I'm starving, and this extra large, vegan lover's pizza isn't going to last forever.
  8. jp-30 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2000
    star 9
    I'm the happily married father of 3 you meet just before the commercial break that you think is the killer, but it turns out I'm just protecting my daughter who actually did it.
  9. hudzu Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 1, 2003
    star 6
    as the noxious smoke cleared the area, a single beautiful idea entered my head. it was so simple and so obvious the cause of death. it was set off by something i overheard my partner muttering to zooey deschanel.

    bs.

    the cause of death was bs. perhaps not the most well known killer. but it was evident that this was a man who lived his life neck deep in bs. but if that were the case, what set it off? as used to bs as he was, there had to be an instigating event. i knew then that it was that which i should be detecting.
    Rogue_Ten, JoinTheSchwarz and jp-30 like this.
  10. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 7
    *as my remains continue to liquify, the contents of my stomach are revealed: a heart-shaped locket... containing...?*
  11. JoinTheSchwarz Comms Admin & Community Manager

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    Nov 21, 2002
    star 8
    "Send this to Griffin. He will know what to do with it."

    *meaningful smirk*
  12. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 7
    *releases gasses from charred intestines, producing a sound an awful lot like "shove it up his butt"*
  13. Bacon164 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2005
    star 7
    i'm cruello de vil, a serial killer who scalps victims and uses their hair to make paper for drawing cartoons. but nobody else knows that because i'm a quacky drag queen.
  14. GrandAdmiralJello Moderator Communitatis Litterarumque

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2000
    star 10
    My name is Carlos. I am French, but because of my name I am frequently hauled in for questioning on whether I was associated with various drug, homicide, or illegal parking violation offenses. Needless to say, I frequently complain about the tyranny of these American police officers and remark about how this would never happen in Europe because we are all so much better and don't actually work. I provide an opportunity to showcase racism and ethnocentrism masquerading as humor.
    jp-30 likes this.
  15. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    I'm Rosie Szymczykowski, an alcoholic hooker with a heart of gold. I have a strange fondness for policemen, considering I'm a hooker, and often hang around Vinny Bag-O-Donuts' place. However, this potential plot hole is made into an intriguing quirk by the fact that I frequently pick cops' pockets for oddly insignificant items, then turn the objects lovingly over in my hands as I weep silently. In fact, In my grubby rented room I have a shrine built of old Zippo lighters and half-empty packets of chewing gum, all of which surround a framed picture of a bearded man. Is it of my father? A former lover? A celebrity I'm stalking? When will we find out?? NOT THIS SEASON!

    *sidles up to Detective Roosevelt*

    "Hey, sugar. Looks like you really got yourself a stinker this time."

    *considers the best way to pick his pocket*

    "Hic."
  16. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 7
    *a trapped pocket of gas in the charred remains of my corpse triggers an eruption of dried feces, which splatters all over the face and torso of a nearby hooker and detective*
  17. Point Given Mod of Literature and Community

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Dec 12, 2006
    star 5
    I'm Jack Bauer, American hero extraordinaire. I quickly drive by the crime scene on my way to thwart the fourteenth nuclear threat made against this great country. I am travelling with Veronica, a divorced, foxy CIA agent who may have the clues needed to find the comb and prevent its detonation. Yet, six hours (and six episodes) from now she will die a horrible death, like every other woman whom Jack is remotely attracted to. Twenty two hours from now I'll discover out that the villain is the President of the United States, who I'll discover is also my brother.

    I accidentally drive through the pile of the corpse's feces, spraying it on all present.
  18. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
  19. GenAntilles Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2007
    star 4
    I'm Ed Smith. I am bland, generic, and have no real skills. I am mostly comic relief. My wife was a renowned police detective with a genius level intellect, photographic, memory, fluent in 12 languages, and always bad cop. She was killed and now haunts me and forces me to be a police consultant. I'd rather stay home and live my boring life free of danger but she annoys me and does ghost stuff until I go and pretend to solve crimes that she is actually solving. By now I'm in the 3rd season so most of the main police department cast know she's a ghost and is doing all the work which leads to comedic moments as they scream at her when she posses me and goes all Exorcist on suspects in interrogation.

    Also if she solves the case of who killed her she moves on to the afterlife. She refuses to do that as it would mean she can't solve crimes anymore and she'd rather stay in limbo forever and do that. My running gag is trying to solve the case on my own, and always failing horribly at it.
  20. jp-30 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2000
    star 9
  21. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    (Clicks in Morse Code) WHERE ARE MY PILLS TIMMY