Before - Legends Pushing Me Away - co-written with Shaindl - Complete 10/3!!!! No way!

Great post there. I already want to kick Asantes. Good work!

BTW, For all those of you who haven't seen the bunny from which this sprang - be afraid, be very afraid.

Nem

 

Man, I haven't posted in a while! Well, things are definately taking a turn for the not-so-good. I'm intrigued as to who Xanatos is working for...do the crystals all harbor the light side of the force? if so, why would someone be harvesting them illegally? Oooh, this is a good one. And RUN OBI-WAN! Asantes is too creepy! anyways, good posts!

 

Shaindl Silly Jedi! Splitting up!

LE We can't take the credit for Asantes. He is Shan's creation. Just hope she doesn't mind the direction we have taken him.

Kynstar The way the mean old mods are cracking down on things, it may not get as juicy as it could have.

Xeana Poor Obi should know by now that his feelings serve him well.

diane Xan may have given Asantes way too much leeway in handling the Jedi.

PK Those bad feelings seem to be contagious!

Captain Xan may not be too happy to find out who the Jedi are.

Vadey Shaindl hasn't figured out yet how I tricked her into doing the action scene!

jeday I'd like front row seats myself!

Opal Next posty may be up soon.

IKL I agree that Obi and Xan are the best. I'm not so sure about that third one.

birdy Confrontation? Between who?

Layren I'm the complete opposite of you. Have a devil of a time with Jinn! Xan just seems to write himself.

Shan * breaths a sigh of relief* I wasn't sure if your version of Asantes was a good guy or not. We have a few unexpected twists in store. Hope you like them.

Nem Asantes is a piece of work isn't he?

The_Hutt The crystals are strong in the Lightside of the Force. Their importance will become clear soon.

Posty will be up today or tomorrow.

 

VF2002 - That is no light ball you smacked in Shaindl's direction for her next post to write - you have no idea! But I think I left her with an equally nasty scene to write. And Nem, quit trying to frighten our readers off. Here's the next post all - hope you enjoy!

//[italics]// = speaking over the bond

* * * * * *

?You?re sure this is where we?re supposed to meet your customer.? Qui-Gon phrased it as more of a statement rather than a question as he looked dubiously around the dim room. The cantina?s interior was like that of cantinas all across the galaxy ? dim and smoky, the wear of years apparent in the pocked walls, the torn flooring and the scored tables and bar. The walls were also coated with a thick treatment of grime, another testament to the years the place had seen.

His Padawan?s admonition that he had a bad feeling about their mission had weighed heavily on him since they had parted company. It was true he hadn?t felt anything wrong, but it was unlike Obi-Wan to express such overt doubts without cause. He wondered fleetingly if he had been wrong to separate from the young man. With a quick shake, he threw off the thought. His Padawan was more than capable of taking care of himself.

He glanced down at the greasy little man beside him. When they had been given the assignment, they had been told Asantes was dealing in crystals that could possibly be used as focusers in lightsabres. Together with disturbing rumours of suspicious ships in the vicinity of Ilum where the Jedi?s crystals usually came from, the situation had been deemed worthy of investigation.

Which was why he now stood in a dirty little rundown cantina with a man he wouldn?t trust as far as an Ewok could throw him. His Padawan was correct. There was something wrong here.

?I think I should go and find my Padawan, Mr. Asantes.?

The crystal dealer looked up at him in surprise. ?But my contact will be here momentarily and your Padawan is on the other side of the city up in the hills. It?s at least an hour away even for you. I?d hate for you to miss what?s likely your only chance to meet him.?

The Master opened his mouth to argue, and was interrupted by the beep of his comm. Stepping away from the man beside him, he thumbed it on. ?Padawan?? He surprised himself ? usually he answered with a short ?Jinn?. The anxious use of his apprentice?s title came out of his mouth without conscious thought, a nod to the sudden unease he was feeling.

?Yes, Master. Are you okay??

Must get a hold of myself. ?I am fine, Padawan, just curious to know what you?ve found.?

?The cave is filled with crystals, Master, more than are on Ilum and of finer quality, if I?m any judge.?

?I?m sure you are, my Padawan. Is there anything amiss??

?No, Master. I?ve taken a brief look around the cave, but there is nothing to see. A few men working at mining, but they have all assured me they are free beings, there to make a living.?

?I see.?

?I?ll be leaving here soon, Master and will see you back at the ship.?

?Yes, Padawan. I may be a little longer. Mr. Asantes? contact has yet to make an appearance.? He hesitated. ?Stay safe, Obi-Wan.?

?You as well, Master. See you when you arrive. Kenobi out.?

?Jinn out.?

He stood still for a moment, the feeling of unease growing and settling over him like a shroud. Attempting to shake it off, he turned back to Asantes. ?It appears I can spare a few more minutes to wait.?

Qui-Gon?s unease grew even further as the man smiled and led him to the bar. ?Excellent. Can I buy you a drink??

* * * * * *

The cave was, as he told his Master, filled as far as he could see with crystals. The Force sang in the cave, its music the sweetest he had ever heard. He was reluctant to leave, knowing that few other Jedi would have a chance to stand in the midst of such pure lightside energy. Only an insistent tug on his sleeve kept him from enjoying the moment more.

?We should leave, Padawan Kenobi.?

Obi-Wan glanced at his guide, a compact, nervous man named Mir?ka. Hi

 

Excellent! Loved what you added at the end! Left me with a tough one hum?

 

Aiee! [face_shocked]

Gosh was that gripping, Shaindl! My eyes were glued to the page. Perfect pacing and an astounding use of language, very creative in your wording.

Obi-Wan's compassion for Mir'ka was beautiful and so typical of his character.

I loved how Qui-Gon answered the comm. Such a clever and realistic way to show his unease and concern for his protege.

I can't wait to see what happens next in this spellbinding story...no, seriously, I CAN'T wait...so get crackin'!

 

Wonderful, absolutely wonderful. Rivetting and scary and I could just picture the whole thing. Loved that the man was forced to betray Obi-Wan. Loved that Qui-Gon was so uneasy and tried to get to him without success.

So looking forward to the next post!

 

That was a fantastic action sequence

 

Very well soluted, Shaindl.

Qui didn't meet Xan, I would have been surprised if he would. Or was it even Palpy at the end? You know, because of the use of 'my friend'. Xan wouldn't have called him that.
And Obi's taking? You showed how good Obi's instincs are, good enough to strike fear in Qui's heard. And how well he is trained and rooted in the light. He went into the trap willingly to spare the guard trouble and at that point he didn't even know about the family.

And now, the ball is back in oe's field without that the situation at the end of her post changed much.

Vadey

 

I never worry when one of my bunnies are picked up by you two Asantes was meant to be a creep, and you've certainly accomplished that - beautifully.

First word that comes to mind after reading this post - WOW! I was riveted from beginning to end. I love the rising concern of both master and apprentice and the acceptance of what was about to happen on Obi-Wan's part. He gave it a valiant effort, but was seriously outnumbered. I feel for both of them with what is coming.

Poor Obi! The things we(or should I say you two) do to him I'm sounding like a broken record here - but oh, it's such good angst. I love it.

--shan

 

Sweeeeet! But evil cliffy nonetheless!
Love the suspense! Poor Obi... tried to make it last as long as he could. And poor Qui... couldn't make it in time, ohhh how I don't envy the folks who get in his way when he tries to find his Paddy!! Beware the avenging Angel has arisen!!!

Great job!!!

 

Woo-hoo! You get 'em Kenobi!
Cliffie!

 

Oh wow that was a wonderful action sequence. Those are always the hardest for me to write. You two did a marvelous job!! Very well done, I can't wait for more!


Just out of curiosity how do you manage to come up with them so easily and so fast!?

 

What an ending! Giving a human side to Obi's betrayer was a really nice bit of writing, and the action was just incredible.

 

Very nice work there Like someone already said, great action writing. Love Mir'ka - poor guy, I really do feel sorry for him.

And Nem, quit trying to frighten our readers off.

I'll quit doing it if you quit the evil cliffies.

Nem

 

"He wondered fleetingly if he had been wrong to separate from the young man. With a quick shake, he threw off the thought. His Padawan was more than capable of taking care of himself."

Oh Qui-Gon, you always think that Obi-Wan can handle it by himself, but you never take into account the billions of beings across the galaxie who are after him. Rabid Obi fans are a virtually unstoppable force!
Poor Mir'ka, "employed" by such scum. Lame old Asantes can't even do his own dirty work. And Obi-Wan gave a valiant effort, but you know how it goes...

"Traditional Jedi teaching said there was no such thing as luck. In practice, every Jedi that Obi-Wan knew believed in random chance, and knew that it was luck that would get you almost every time. The one thing you couldn?t have planned for, the one thing you couldn?t have prevented was almost always the thing that led to disaster.
And so it was for Obi-Wan on Sempris."

That whole section was good. The flow of this thread is very good, and the action scene has nice movement. Great job, although you sure left us with a killer cliffie!

 

Yeeps! Wow! - I love how you captured Obi's spirit in that post Shaindl - noble yet resigned.

Good thing I brought a bungi cord - I think I'm gunna need it.

 

noooooo! Obi-Wan!

I have to laugh at the fact that everyone, from jedi to sith, discribes Asantes as being greasy. Kind of makes you wonder how anyone would trust him enough to give him a job like controling a mine in the first place.

 

Great post! I love the characterization of Obi. I can sense lots of angst coming, for both Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon - can't wait for the next post

 

OE - yep, I left you with a nasty one. But I love what you did with it - not that I'm surprised, of course.

LE - oh, wow, such nice words again. But you don't have to suck up just because I agreed to beta for you. Seriously, you say the nicest things - thank you. I would like you to take note that I used the proper initial

Diane - I'm glad you could picture it. But if you think that was scary, wait'll you see the next post...

PK - thanks!

VF2002 - thanks! Nope, they haven't met yet. Just to clarify, it was Asantes talking to the bartender of the cantina at the end. Yep, I left OE with a terrible post to write - but you're going to love what she did with it...and hate the cliff!

Shan - yeah, OE and I seem to excel at writing creeps - I think it's a basic flaw in our characters. I'm glad you love it - we're getting to your post soon.

Kynstar - yep, I think Qui's going to be doing some major turning over of the place to try and find Obi-Wan. You'll have to wait and see if he's successful or not.

Xeana - if you thought this was bad, wait'll you see the next cliff...

Layren - thank you - I find action hard to write too. I try to see it in my head and then describe what I see. For this post, OE suggested an ambush on their way back from the mine, and as soon as she said that, I saw Obi-Wan turning the car up on its side. Then the trick was to try and describe it. I hope it worked.

As for how we turn them out so fast, for me, OE walks softly and carries a big, big stick. Seriously, there's a couple of things that go into it - lately my writing urge has been really strong so I've been spending a lot of time at my keyboard (much to the chagrin of my husband a couple of times ). Second, it really helps to be writing with someone - as soon as a post goes up, we start discussing the next one. I find that the simple act of discussing a post and the ideas that are going to go into it really inspire me. And it doesn't hurt that I'm working with someone as talented as OE - that's inspiration in and of itself.

Opal - thank you - you say such nice things. I think there are very few people in the world who would have the power to stand up to someone when their family's safety is at stake, no matter how good a person they are. I'm glad Mir'ka came across as a good guy.

Nem - I feel sorry for Mir'ka too! And we have nothing on you when it comes to action, dear.

Hutt - we are an unstoppable force, aren't we? Nope, Asantes can't do his own dirty work - can't get his hands dirty, after all. See all the previous comments about the cliff...

PR - I think you might need two or three bungie cords...

anekasolo - I think that's why Asantes was hired for the mine - who else would want to run it? And wait 'til you see what happens to Obi...

AnariaZar-Rel - welcome! Always great to have a new reader! The angst! Oh, this story is going to be filled with it!

Thanks all for reading. The next post should be up in a little while. Cheers!

 

Layren To answer your question. Once I know what the post is going to be about the writing takes care of itself. I rarely spend more than an hour on any one given post. Luckily I have Shaindl to light a fire under me when I get stuck!

Now shall we check in on poor Obi?


*****************************************************


As he slowly drifted toward consciousness he became aware of two things simultaneously. First was the excruciating pain that seemed to burn along every nerve ending in his body. From the top of his head down to his bare feet, his very cells felt as if they were being inundated with an incessant current of agonizing torment. The second realization was even more distressing. Where he normally felt the soothing presence of the Force, there was now only a cold empty void. Something was blocking his connection.

Long reddish gold lashes fluttered as he struggled to open his eyes. He shut them just as quickly when a hot bright light burned into the sensitive orbs. Waiting until the white spots ceased chasing one another, he gingerly shifted his head to the side. A hiss of pain escaped between slightly parted lips as the action elicited yet another surge of agony through his temples. Short deep breaths helped to lessen the ache allowing him to once again open his eyes.

Blurred vision prohibited him from clearly identifying his surroundings. He got a sense of sterile white walls and the strong medicinal smell of a medcenter. Muted sounds reached his ears, the shuffle of several pairs of feet-the low murmur of voices not too far away-and the clang of something metallic being rolled close to where he lay. Cold fingers began to probe his aching shoulder, causing a wave of bile to burn the back of his throat. Swallowing it back, he became aware of the constriction that wrapped around his neck and held his arms immobile.

"Ungh..." He was forced to break off as the fingers moved down to torment his leg.

A low guttural moan clawed its way from his chest, the bruising pain that accompanied the rise of his ribcage reminding him of what he had recently endured. He had been ambushed while returning from the mine. Overpowered by a strong force of heavily armed men, he had been shot in the shoulder and leg before being dealt a blow to the head from a blaster.

Awakening wounded and nearly unconscious, he had still fought his captors. Had fought with every ounce of strength left in his body as they held him down and forced a metal collar around his neck. His struggles had earned him countless painful jabs from a stun gun at various points of his battered body and even his vulnerable throat.

His senses had tried to warn him that all was not right with Asantes. He hoped that Mir?ka has gotten away safely. He wondered what his master was going through at the moment. Qui-Gon was probably tearing the city apart in an effort to find out where he had been taken to. The thought brought with it a sense of peace and calm that lasted until a shadowy figure bent over the top of him. Blurred vision kept him from being able to bring the person into clear focus.

"Relax pretty Jedi. This will go much easier if you don?t fight the procedure," a disembodied voice assured him.

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to question the man but no sound would come out. Panic began to set in, his battered body shifting on the metal table as he tried to sit up. Cold hands latched onto his legs and arms and held him down with brute force.

"Now now. You are only going to make this more difficult than it has to be," his captor warned him.

Held immobile, he began to breath raggedly as he felt a chill as metal rods were secured to his temples. He knew what they were. Had felt there terrifying presence once before when he was thirteen. The electro-pulsers were connected to a memory-wipe droid and would effectively steal his past from him. He was about to be mindwiped for the second time in his life. The first time he had been able to fight the effects with the aide of the river stone his master had given

 

He was no one. And he was alone.

Oh, that's so sad! Everything, just taken without a second thought.

Great job, OE - you know how much I loved this.

Shaindl

 

Oh damn! Well, I knew it was coming but it still is awful when it arrives.

I liked how you went through Obi's life and listed all the high/low points of his life and how Qui and Obi had finally gotten to a point where they were good for each other rather than tearing each other apart.

Great job. Looking forward to the next post and then seeing where you two are going to take it.

Edit: You spend a hour on a post of this length. Damn! This would have taken me a week. Damn. I'm so envious!

 

Ahhhhhhhhh! WTF?! Oh no... not able to fight off the erasing this time! *Sniff!* Poor Obi... all those memories being erased!

Mean thou are! Terrible! hehehe Obi angst!

Great work! Right about the cliffy... hehehe

Can't wait for more!!! And yeah... poor Qui! Ponder on how a memory wipe affects the Master/Padawan bond. Umm is it still there? For the Force is still there too we all know that doesn't juz 'leave'. Woo-hoo!! Good job!

 

He shut them just as quickly when a hot bright light burned into the sensitive orbs. Waiting until the white spots ceased chasing one another, he gingerly shifted his head to the side

I know your pain Obi.

Oh no - Poor Obi!!!