Queens Don't Cry (TPM Missing scenes) ~3nd Scene added~ 7/21

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Miana Kenobi, Jul 14, 2002.

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  1. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

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    Obi-Wan?s tears had long dried up, yet the Jedi could not move or let alone speak without the threat of crying once more. The events that had unfolded still seemed unreal in his mind, yet the dead Jedi Master that lay in his arms was proof that it had happened. Obi-Wan thought childishly that maybe Qui-Gon would just wake up and everything would be okay, but the pain that radiated from their severed bond brought him to reality.

    I should have been quicker, I should have! Obi-Wan yelled at himself. If I had been faster, I could have saved him. I should have anticipated that the Sith would knock me off, and avoided being separated that far from Qui-Gon. He?s not as young as he used to be? Obi-Wan mentally cursed at himself, wishing his life could just end right there and now so he could still be with his Master. But at the back of his mind, Obi-Wan knew he needed to stay alive.

    The boy? He wants me to train the boy? Why? What does he see that no one else can?

    Obi-Wan looked down at his Master?s serene but firm face, feeling that if he had any more tears to cry, they would be dripping down his face. ?I?ll train him, Master,? Obi-Wan whispered, his voice hoarse from sobbing. ?I?ll do it, but I don?t know what good will come of it. He?s not the chosen one.?

    Obi-Wan didn?t know if he expected a reply or not, but continued to sit there in silence, naïvely refusing to believe Qui-Gon was totally dead. He heard shouts coming from down the hallway, in the hanger, probably. Nodding to himself, Obi-Wan sucked in a breath and faced reality. ?It?s time to go,? he whispered to himself. He slowly got to his feet, feeling the pines and needles shooting through his legs from sitting in one spot for so long. He reluctantly picked up Qui-Gon?s lightsaber and clipped it to his belt, slowly moving back to his fallen master and scooping him up in his arms. The Jedi Master was heavy to Obi-Wan, yet Obi-Wan was the type who carried his burdens alone.

    ~~~~~~~~~
    Anakin Skywalker climbed out of the cockpit of the Nubian fighter, hearing a cheer come up from the small gathered crowd. The other pilots quickly exited their ships, coming over and putting Anakin on their shoulders. Anakin felt many people thumping him on the back, more still clapping and cheering.

    The doors of the hanger leading to the Theed streets opened, Captain Panaka, Queen Amidala and one of her handmaidens entering. Anakin saw the queen smiling widely, his memory kicking in that it was not the queen. The queen stood out in front, still in her handmaiden garb. Her smile was plastered on her face as she congratulated the pilots and others who had fought against the Federation droids. She approached the group of pilots, who took Anakin off of their shoulders and bowed to their queen. ?Highness,? Ric Olie acknowledged.

    ?Well done, all of you,? Padmé said.

    ?In truth, Your Highness, we didn?t destroy the ship,? Ric Olie said, putting his hand on Anakin?s shoulder. ?It was this boy here who did.?

    Momentarily forgetting that she was a Queen, Padmé knelt down and hugged Anakin tightly, much to the surprise of those around her. ?You saved us all, Ani,? she said, smiling broadly. ?Your mother would have been proud.?

    Anakin smiled shyly, then looked around. ?Where?s Qui-Gon??

    Padmé?s smile faded, the queen getting to her feet and looking at her Captain of security. Panaka shook his head. ?The Jedi have not checked in yet.?

    Padmé looked down gravely at Anakin, but she saw that his gaze was not fixed on her, but fixed in horror at one of the side doorways. She heard the crowd around her grow very quiet, turning to fix her gaze at the doorway.

    Appearing from the doorway walked Obi-Wan Kenobi, the dead figure of Qui-Gon Jinn in his arms. Obi-Wan paid the crowd no heed, but continued to walk on. Padmé tried to find her voice, moving her mouth, but nothing came out. Finally, she was able to speak. ?Captain,? she said, Panaka nodding his head and beginning to lead Obi-Wan out of the hanger.

  2. Sabe126 Jedi Master

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    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    I enjoyed reading that. Excellent!

    Sabe126
  3. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

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  4. AngelQueen Force Ghost

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    Mar 1, 2001
    star 4
    *whimper*

    Qui-Gon...

    *wails*

    Beautiful, Miana! Absolutely beautiful! And it sounds like Padme!

    Great job!

    AQ
  5. babybantha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 1, 2002
    star 2
    Oh, this was so sad! :_| Wonderfully written. The characterizations of both the Queen and Obi-Wan were perfect.

    Obi-Wan was the type who carried his burdens alone.

    That line alone is so telling.

    Excellent work, Miana! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go off and cry now... :_|

  6. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

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    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    You reminded me that Qui is dead :_|

    Really emotional fic there Miana! UP!!
  7. Dally Force Ghost

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    Apr 2, 2001
    star 4
    Very touching scene!
  8. Jedi_Johnson Jedi Grand Master

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    Apr 6, 2002
    star 5
    That was quite emotional. I think i need a tissue now. ::runs off to get a tissue::
  9. JediClare Jedi Master

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    Oct 8, 2001
    star 4
    It's been three years since we first saw Qui-Gon die...but you can never really forget it. :_|

    Well, anyway, that was great! :)
  10. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

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    Wow... lot's of replies! Thanks everyone. I was one of the few people who looked over Qui-Gon's death in the movie and thought, What happened to Anakin when he found out?

    I have another scene plotted out in my head, but the wording isn't coming out just right, so be expecting that soon.

    Mahalo plenty!
  11. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

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    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Beautifully done Miana Mahalo :)
  12. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

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    Push this back up for others to read.
  13. CalaisKenobi Jedi Master

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    Jun 15, 2002
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    I'm glad you upped this! I might have missed it otherwise. Great fic! I agree with babybantha, the The Jedi Master was heavy to Obi-Wan, yet Obi-Wan was the type who carried his burdens alone. line was simply overwhelming.

    But I have a question... what did Obi-Wan mean when he said Anakin wasn't the Chosen one? Is there anyway we could convince you to write more and elaborate :)

    CK

  14. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

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    Calais, thanks. :)

    Well, as to your questions... I'll try to answer them in the post I'm working on. ;)
  15. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

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    Obi-Wan was the last of the Jedi to leave the funeral pyre, too torn and heartbroken to move from his place beside the bed of dying embers. Through the burning, he had fought against himself, forcing his eyes to remain dry and his voice to sound stable. He had managed to stop his voice from cracking when Anakin had spoke to him, asking what the future now held for him. Obi-Wan tried to keep his visage calm, telling the boy that he would train him. He silently had let his mask of calmness break when Anakin had turned away, the newly knighted Jedi working hard to control his emotions.

    Once the flames had died and only ash had remained, those present began to quietly leave one by one until Obi-Wan was alone. He stood unmoving, watching as the last of the glowing embers fell dark. When the last of the embers had died, Obi-Wan felt his legs grow weary beneath him, the Jedi falling to his knees, fighting hard to keep his face from letting his pain show. His knees throbbed in protest upon being hit against the hard marble floor, but Obi-Wan ignored the pain. The pain in his heart was greater than that of his body, feeling as if someone what taken his vital organ and stabbed it with a lightsaber. He was kneeling only a few inches from the stone pyre, leaning forward and resting his forehead against the cold stone. He scrunched up his face in pain as he felt hot tears trickle down his face, cursing himself for letting his emotions overcome him.

    ?You?re more than my Master,? Obi-Wan whispered, feeling a warm tear drip off of his chin and fall onto his hand. ?You were my heart and my father.? He heard his voice crack, breaking his sentence off. ?And you left me?? He curled his fist and slammed it against the stone pyre, shouting, ?You left me!? He felt pain shoot from his knuckles upon impact, looking down to see his hand bleeding. Squeezing his eyes shut once more, he began to quietly sob, knowing that the only person who could comfort him lay dead above him.

    ~~~~~~~~~
    How and when he moved, Obi-Wan didn?t know. Once he had left the pyre, he went out into the gardens behind the palace, leaning up against a wall, then sinking to the ground. He brought his knees up to his chest, folding his arms over them and burying his head in his arms. His tears had been cried, yet the Jedi continued to weep, his throat parched and voice hoarse. His mind felt incomplete, as did his spirit.

    He leaned his head back against the wall, looking up at the dark sky above him. The stars seemed to twinkle in sadness, a few stay meteorites falling toward the planet as if the sky itself was crying. The stars and planets had seemed so numerous to Obi-Wan when he was younger; so distant and invulnerable to the hardships of the galaxy. But Obi-Wan hard learned the hard truth that childish dreams were false dreams.

    He felt his hand stray down to his belt, unhooking the lightsaber that hung upon it. He brought the weapon up to eyelength, running his fingers over the cool grey and black metals. He examined Qui-Gon?s lightsaber, seeing how similar it was to its former owner. It was strong, just as Qui-Gon was, battle worn, and neat and orderly shaped, as Qui-Gon preferred things; neat and in order. Obi-Wan held the weapon tightly in his hands, clutching it and holding it next to his chest. It was all he had left of Qui-Gon. That and hundreds of memories.

    He closed his eyes once more, wishing the earth beneath him would open up and swallow him whole. He did not sense the small being that came near him, not until he felt a small yet reassuring hand gently latch to his shoulder. He quickly opened his eyes, seeing the small green Jedi Master standing next to him.

    ?Knight Obi-Wan,? Master Yoda acknowledge.

    Obi-Wan tried to compose himself, subconsciously wiping his dry eyes. ?Master Yoda,? Obi-Wan returned.

    The small troll observed the Jedi?s appearance, saying simply, ?Allowed your emotions to overcome you, you have.?

    ?I?m sorry, my Master,? Obi-Wan said, sitting up straighter and reclipping Q
  16. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

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    push this back up... again. ;)
  17. babybantha Jedi Knight

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    Jun 1, 2002
    star 2
    Wow! I didn't realize you were going to be continuing this. Is there going to be more? [face_hopeful]

    That was such a good scene. I don't often think about what happened after the funeral (mostly because it's just too sad :_| ), but this is everything I would have hoped it to be and beautifully written! :)

    You captured Obi-Wan's feelings wonderfully. Especially since they were feelings he knew he shouldn't be having: jealousy, anger, doubt. Of course, it is understandable he feels this way, but I first thought Yoda was going to lecture him about it, so I was pleasantly surprised when he instead offered (some) comfort.

    Good work! Please keep going. Pleeeese! ;)
  18. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

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    Thanks, Babybantha. Well, I might be adding one more scene, but only if I can get it to play correctly in my head (it's treading in dangerous ground up there. ;) )

    Thanks for the up. :)
  19. JediClare Jedi Master

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    Oct 8, 2001
    star 4
    "You¡¯re more than my Master," Obi-Wan whispered, feeling a warm tear drip off of his chin and fall onto his hand. "You were my heart and my father." He heard his voice crack, breaking his sentence off. "And you left me..." He curled his fist and slammed it against the stone pyre, shouting, "You left me!" He felt pain shoot from his knuckles upon impact, looking down to see his hand bleeding. Squeezing his eyes shut once more, he began to quietly sob, knowing that the only person who could comfort him lay dead above him.

    Great, Miana. Just great. You went and depressed me. :_|

    That was great. Hope to see the additional scene you mentioned. :)
  20. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

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    LOL, sorry, Clare. The other scene still isn't playing out just right in my head, but I'll try to get it right soon!
  21. CalaisKenobi Jedi Master

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    Jun 15, 2002
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    You seem to completely and perfectly fill in the missing scenes from TPM... Is it too much to hope you would continue your skill to fill in the places between TPM and AotC or just between AotC?

    And thanks for answering my previous question.. though I must admit I was hoping for an "Anakin's not the chosen one, Master Yoda, I am" I know Obi-Wan would never say something arrogant like that... but it would be pretty sweet if he was the one.

    Anyways, great job :)

    Ck
  22. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

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    :) Thanks, CK. Well, I kinda have been considering it, but I don't want to venture to the AOTC scenes because there seem to be so many good ones already... But I might do some that come between TPM and Rogue Planet... I never know what else will pop up into my mind. ;)
  23. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

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    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I would love to see you take this a little bit further. At least the first few months back at the temple...PLEASE :)
  24. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

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    I'm still playing around with it in my head, but the next parts coming out a little bit clearer. :)

    I don't know about a few months, but I'm planning on a few about when they get back to Coruscant.
  25. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

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    Obi-Wan felt his eyes flicker open, his mind yelling at him to go back to sleep. He knew he needed to get up, yet his mind was against the thought. Today would be worse than the day before. Obi-Wan knew of the victory parade, then they had to return to Coruscant. Obi-Wan didn?t know if he could face the temple just yet. What few friends of Qui-Gon?s that had made it to the funeral had already expressed their sympathy to Obi-Wan, yet the Temple was full of thousands more. Obi-Wan was not one who liked sympathy and pity, and he frowned at the thought of receiving it in full blast once he returned to Coruscant.

    His conscious got the better half of him, the Jedi pulling himself out of bed and getting dressed. As he fastened his belt around his waist, he observed himself in a mirror. He noted with disgust the dark rings that were around his eyes, the glazed look that remained in his eyes, and how rough and messed up his hair looked. Obi-Wan tried to remedy one of his appearance problems, wetting a comb and running through his hair, spiking his hair in the typical padawan style.

    His hands froze in midair as he realized what he was doing. He was no longer a padawan, but a Jedi Knight. He could wear his hair in whatever fashion pleased him. Obi-Wan thought of the possibilities, but his hands continued spiking his short hair. His mind argued with his hands, but Obi-Wan knew that old habits died hard.

    When he finally exited his appointed room inside the Theed palace, he found the hallways buzzing with activity as Nubians prepared for the festivities and parade in the latter part of the afternoon. Obi-Wan tried to remain out of the way, walking and not knowing where he was going, simply letting the Force guide him.

    He frowned when he found where the Force had guided him, not wanting to face his biggest fear and monster just yet: the boy. He found himself in a small circular room, seeing Masters Adi Gallia and Depa Billaba, adjusting the newly given padawan clothes on the small boy to their proper positions. Adi was the first to take note of Obi-Wan, giving a small smile as she welcomed him. She whispered something to Depa, the other woman nodding, then turning to leave with her fellow Council member. ?We?ll leave you two alone,? Adi said, giving Obi-Wan another smile as they left the room, leaving Obi-Wan alone in the room with Anakin.

    Anakin gave an uneasy bow to his new Master, the young boy not all at ease with the young Jedi and knowing that the Jedi was not all at ease with him. He saw the Jedi not move a muscle at his small bow, Anakin not knowing what to do or say. He could see it written clearly on Obi-Wan?s face that the Jedi did not know what to do as well.

    The boy and the Jedi continued to stare at each other for minutes on end, neither thinking up anything worth while to say. Anakin could see that Obi-Wan was not that comfortable at the thought of training and raising a child, the boy lowering his head. ?I know you don?t want to train me,? he mumbled, seeing the Knight raise a surprised eyebrow at him.

    ?I never said I didn?t want to train you,? Obi-Wan said, sighing with admittance. He saw a vacant chair in the corner of the room, going and sitting himself in it. He could see the child?s blue eyes piercing into him, the boy waiting for the rest of the statement. ?But what?? he asked.

    ?No buts, Anakin. Qui-Gon?s last request was that I train you. I promised him I would, and I don?t break promises.?

    The boy lowered his head once more in regret. ?I?m sorry I caused that fight between you two when we left Coruscant.?

    ?It wasn?t your fault, Anakin. Qui-Gon and I never agreed on anything most of the time.?

    The boy showed a small glimpse of understanding, yet sorrow still remained. ?I know how much you miss him. You miss him like I miss my mother.?

    Obi-Wan tried to fight off the tears that were threatening to spring up once again. ?He was more than my master, Anakin. He was my guide, my mentor, my father,? Obi-Wan added.

    Anakin looked shyly at the J
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