Questions you NEVER think about....

Discussion in 'Classic Trilogy' started by DarthAtkins, Apr 16, 2003.

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  1. DarthAtkins Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2003
    star 1
    Think outside the movies for a second: What happens when everybody goes home?

    There HAS to be moments in that galaxy far, far away where there is no Empire talk or politics, and people are just sitting around chillin and sipping coffee. What do they desire? What are their personal dreams? Do the Stormtroopers have families? Being clones, wouldn't it be awful easy for them to cheat on their wives? And what about the poor Imperial women!! They don't have much of a selection with a million guys with the same face.

    Out of the Star Wars universe, it seems the only one who knows how to have a good time is Jabba. He's a pod racing General Manager, a dope dealer, and a club owner with strippers and live performances. Remember that creature with the long lips singing in Jabba's Palace? How famous do you think she was? Is she their J-Lo equivalent? Surely Jabba can afford any big recording star he wants.

    Is anybody else weird like me and wonder strange questions about how Star Wars characters live outside the movies?
  2. MeBeJedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2002
    star 6
    "Questions you NEVER think about"

    I'll let you know when I think of one... ;)
  3. Bib Fortuna Twi'lek Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 9, 1999
    star 10
    If you read the EU, you'll know exactly what the characters do outside the movies.
  4. TheDiva Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2003
    star 2
    I do. How is Carrie Fisher doing.
  5. That_Wascally_Droid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2001
    star 6
    Yeah fight year in year out non-stop i the next big thing that'll spell certain doom for the New Republic.
    Shouldn't they have gone insane long ago? ;)

    Besides, there's moments in between the EU even.
  6. Lars_Muul Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Oct 2, 2000
    star 6
    How long does Han take to go to the bathroom? Does he read magazines while sitting there? What are those magazines about? What kind of cartoon characters would they have in the GFFA?
  7. Spacehunter24 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2003
    star 4
    Perhaps after a long day's work, citizens sit back and take in a late night talkshow on the HoloNet. I wonder who the SW galaxy's version of Jay Leno is?
  8. That_Wascally_Droid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2001
    star 6
    I wonder who the SW galaxy's version of Jay Leno is?

    After Palpatine got rid of the Senate, Jar Jar and Mas Amedda needed work. They made quite a duo!
  9. DarthAtkins Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2003
    star 1
    What would their science fiction novelists write about?
  10. Clonetrooper1000 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2003
    star 3
    DarthAtkins: "What would their science fiction novelists write about?"

    Us. How boring!
  11. LAJ_FETT Tech Admin and Collecting/Games Mod

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    May 25, 2002
    star 8
    And maybe they have Jorg Sacul spinning his tales about life 'a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away..'
  12. jedi_quinn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2002
    star 4
    Questions you NEVER think about....

    Why people find Jo Brand funny. Because there is no logical answer, so I don't bother thinking about it.

    BTW Jo Brand is a fat, ugly comedienne in England who spouts really boring feminist stuff amongst other crap.
  13. gezvader28 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2003
    star 4
    I wonder where all the journalists are.

    All these big events, battles etc. and there's no sense of it being reported or that people even watch the news. Look at our wars - there's journos everywhere.
    And no-one watches TV, there's no fictional entertainment. This all seems deliberate, it's one way in which this galaxy does seem to be "a long time ago".

    gez
  14. Sophita Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 24, 2002
    star 4
    One of the most common unthought questions has to be..."How does Darth Vader go to the bathroom?"

    Out of the Star Wars universe, it seems the only one who knows how to have a good time is Jabba...

    I would say Palpatine has fun. He's the frickin' emperor! He can do anything he wants-He can make Darth Vader do the hokey pokey! He can rule in a bathrobe! He can do a really funky lightning trick!

    Wouldn't YOU like to be Palpatine? ;)
  15. Ret Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 17, 1999
    star 6
    "He's a pod racing General Manager, a dope dealer, and a club owner with strippers and live performances"

    I never thought of Jabba in such a psoitve light before.
  16. That_Wascally_Droid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2001
    star 6
    DarthAtkins: "What would their science fiction novelists write about?"

    Us. How boring!


    GFFA FANBOY: Oh why did you have to create that idiot That Wascally Droid Luke-Ahs? Whhhyyyyy!? He's almost as bad as Senator Binks!

    :p

    Being Palpatine would be fun if he wasn't such a crusty old fart. Everything's always so doom and gloom with him! 'Oh you're going to die!' 'Wipe them out, all of them!' 'He could destroy us!' 'The alliance will die!' 'I'm thirsty! You! Thirst quencher! You will die a horrible death!'

    And let's face it, even being Vader has it's down side!

    PALPATINE: Vader! Rub my back! Vader! Rub my feet! Vader! These damn slugs are back! Vader! Pop this thing under my arm! Vader! Hemroid cream! Pronto! Vaaaaader! My depends diaper feels goopy. Wanna new one! Change me!

    VADER: I hate my life.
  17. Darth_Genius Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2003
    1.) What was Leia doing all that time on Endor when the Rebels had an entire search team looking for her? She didn't even care. Hell, it looked as if she had let her hair down (literally) and was planning to spend the rest of her days as an honorary Ewok. Did she forget about her mission?

    2.) Why was Captain Panaka so bitter? Was he a disgruntled bodyguard working slave hours and pulling in minimum wage? Watch The Phantom Menace again-- every line he says in that movie leans towards the negative. He even quit his job by the time AOTC came out.

    3.) After Han won the Falcon from Lando, how did Lando get home?

    4.) R2 is fearless, C-3PO is a coward. Who would program fear into a droid? Why not make them all like R2?

    5.) In a New Hope, Chewie's handcuffs don't fit, but they fit on Empire Strikes back when Lando removes them. Did Han put Chewie on a diet between films?

    6.) If Dexter studied to become a Jedi, would he get 4 lightsabers?

    7.) Sebulba never uses his feet to walk, eat, or stand. How does he wash his hands?

    8.) Wouldn't every person on Coruscant have to be a millionare? Think of the electricity bills alone. Not to mention gas for the inevitable and endless traffic jams.

    9.) Why doesn't Tatoinne have any blue cows?

    10.) Description of the Sarlaac's digestion process: "In his belly you will find a new definition of pain and suffering while you are slowly digested for over a thousand years." How does anybody know this?
  18. PalpatineAntikristos Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 3
    "Who would program fear into a droid?"

    Apparently little Anakin. After all, Anakin is the prime example of "fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." Maybe Anakin wants a droid friend to be just like him.

    "Description of the Sarlaac's digestion process: 'In his belly you will find a new definition of pain and suffering while you are slowly digested for over a thousand years.' How does anybody know this?"

    Yoda is the only person we know that is almost 1,000 years old. Maybe Yoda's father told Yoda about Sarlaac digestion (as well as the Rule of the Two)almost 900 years ago. Yoda then kindly informed the Hutts to stay away from the Sarlaac pit for that reason. We have thus, inadvertently, solved the mystery of Yoda's origins: he's a native of Tatooine.
  19. Mateo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2001
    star 4
    Does Lord Vader ever regret turning to the Dark Side of the Force? are the StormTroopers/CloneTroopers actually attracted to women or are they gay? do the Clones really deserve to be born into Slavery and Bondage and be forced to live their entire lives as slaves for a Galactic Empire without having their own lives to live as they wish?

  20. han_solo_321 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2002
    star 4
    If Han Solo was a jedi what color lightsbaer would he have?
  21. han_solo_321 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2002
    star 4
    1.) What was Leia doing all that time on Endor when the Rebels had an entire search team looking for her? She didn't even care. Hell, it looked as if she had let her hair down (literally) and was planning to spend the rest of her days as an honorary Ewok. Did she forget about her mission?


    She is waiting for Han an Luke to find her[

    2.) Why was Captain Panaka so bitter? Was he a disgruntled bodyguard working slave hours and pulling in minimum wage? Watch The Phantom Menace again-- every line he says in that movie leans towards the negative. He even quit his job by the time AOTC came out.

    He is a bitter guy :p






    3.) After Han won the Falcon from Lando, how did Lando get home?

    He probley had a differnt ship with him.



    4.) R2 is fearless, C-3PO is a coward. Who would program fear into a droid? Why not make them all like R2?

    Anakin is 10 years old. He doesn't know what he is doing!



    5.) In a New Hope, Chewie's handcuffs don't fit, but they fit on Empire Strikes back when Lando removes them. Did Han put Chewie on a diet between films?


    Differnt size handcuffs?


    6.) If Dexter studied to become a Jedi, would he get 4 lightsabers?


    No he wouldn't


    7.) Sebulba never uses his feet to walk, eat, or stand. How does he wash his hands?

    His mom does it for him



    8.) Wouldn't every person on Coruscant have to be a millionare? Think of the electricity bills alone. Not to mention gas for the inevitable and endless traffic jams.

    They don't have to use as much energy as we do.



    9.) Why doesn't Tatoinne have any blue cows?

    Because there are no blue cows in star wars



    10.) Description of the Sarlaac's digestion process: "In his belly you will find a new definition of pain and suffering while you are slowly digested for over a thousand years." How does anybody know this?


    Maybe someone wrote it down in a book
  22. Darth_Genius Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2003
    Han_Solo_321, you obviously didn't get the joke referring to the blue cows. And as for the Sarlaac, my point is, once you fall in, you're dead! Who can tell the details of what occurs and how long? Jeez.
  23. That_Wascally_Droid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2001
    star 6
    Description of the Sarlaac's digestion process: "In his belly you will find a new definition of pain and suffering while you are slowly digested for over a thousand years." How does anybody know this?

    Simple! They toss someone in and keep tabs on them.

    HENCHMAN: Still alive?

    VICTIM: Oh God yes!! Please! Make the pain and suffering stop! *sobs hysterically*

    HENCHMAN: Okiedokie. Juuuuust checking.
  24. Darth_Genius Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2003
    LOL @ That Wascally Droid
  25. Palps_Apprentice Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2003
    What is holding up Cloud City?

    Anywho...I want some blue milk.
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