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Before - Legends Qui-Gon Jinn Challenge Thread - Note on first post

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jinn is MINE, May 12, 2005.

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  1. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 7, 2005
    diane Yikes! I know that I'm always saying the Obi-Wan is yummy and stuff, but I didn't mean it that way! :p Creepy and disturbing and wonderful as always. I felt cold reading that story. Great job.

    VL Sadly, this seemed entirely possible. It probably took a lot of inner strength for Qui-Gon to hold himself together in the wake of that betrayal. Excellent writing. Keep it up!
  2. darshaassant

    darshaassant Jedi Youngling star 2

    Mar 13, 2005
    Oooh... fantastic one there. Love Xan's reaction, though I expected him (Xan) to put up more of a fight. Still, a master is always more skilled.

    My muse still isn't kicking in.... :mad:
  3. raisedbywolves

    raisedbywolves Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 1, 2005
    maychorian: I agree with you on that last story - I can see it really happening.

    The way Qui-Gon and Xanatos each used some of the habits and mannerisms from their Jedi past made this story more sad to me than creepy, it seemed like they were both longing for the old days as master and apprentice, at least at some level.
  4. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    Holy Moly!!! MamaVader, that was great. I can so see that exact thing happening... how utterly frightening, in a thrilling kind of way.

    I can understand loving to write evil Qui, because I have been loving to read these and it only increases the man's attraction in my eyes. And if loving it is wrong, I don't want to be right. [face_love] :D :D
  5. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 16, 2004
    Vadey...!!! That was superb!
  6. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Mar 2, 2004
    Ok here's my lil tidbit. [face_worried] Not much really not a whole lot of info, but thought I'd throw it out there. It kind'a hit me at work.

    Title: All for the Greater Good

    ?Fire when ready, my friend.? The older man?s voice was sultry and soothing at the same time. Something that had taken a long time to get used too, but the man had been the other man's all those years ago so the tone did not ease his tension.

    The younger man eyed the planet through the view screen. Many memories lay in that overpopulated place and many friends as well. Pushing some of his brown hair back from his face, he swallowed as the choice came down to him.

    A chill went through him as he thought on the matter at hand. He had done so much within the last 10 years for the Republic. Many people had died and many more planets taken over by force - all for the greater good.

    It had first felt wrong because it went against the teachings of the Code, but the Force led him?urged him to do what was right. His ultimate guide had always been the Force, so he willingly embraced what was to be and left the Order. Left to join his old Master.

    So many innocents among the corrupted. But this planet is the main hub of the corruption. Take out the heart and the beast will fall. He then rubbed his bearded chin thoughtfully. He says that these are only a few?that if we do this the millions in the galaxy will be freed.

    Lowering his head, he nodded once. Looking back at the planet one last time, he whispered farewell to those that he known and to the place where he had grown up and learned the ways of the Force. And a special farewell to his own Padawan...a boy who had grown into a fine Jedi Knight, a man he had been proud of to call him son.

    Turning around, he reached for the button that would fire the massive destructive power. Glancing back over his shoulder, he watched as the wide green light emitted from the station he was currently on and drove straight down to the planet?s surface.

    It only took a split second and the planet exploded into a million pieces. He vaguely could remember something that Obi-Wan had stated not too long ago to a Gungan on Naboo. How interesting that memories forgotten can awake after being buried.

    The Death Star had done its job well.

    Tears misted his eyes for only a second as he felt the deaths through the Force. For the greater good?the Republic will be rebuilt to what it should have been. What it used to be.

    Qui-Gon Jinn turned and smiled at Count Dooku of Serenno. ?Now we can begin with stage II.? He watched as the ex-Jedi Master send a signal through the com station. The clones would be ordered to finish off what they had started.
  7. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Oct 28, 2003
    Here is my humble offering as well :) Special thanks to VaderLVR and Kynstar for looking this over for me!

    A Broken Sacrifice

    ?Is everything arranged??

    ?Everything has been arranged. You and young Kenobi leave for Naboo first thing in the morning. My assassin will be there to meet you.?

    ?Thank you my Master,? the rich baritone voice said in sincerity.

    The Dark Lord smiled and the effect on his face was revolting. Decent people were so easy to manipulate. When Qui-Gon had first come to him after Xanatos? betrayal, he had been innocent, for he was lost and miserable. The Sith had been able to persuade him through various methods, that he would be able to help the Republic and to be reconciled to the son he had lost to Darkness. Only then had Qui-Gon pledged with an open mind to study both aspects of the Force.

    He would never truly be dark, therefore he was not the true apprentice that Sidious desired. He desired one who would eradicate all Light within himself.

    The Chosen One.

    ?You have done well my apprentice.?

    Qui-Gon studied his Master keenly. ?With respect, Master, I do not like the idea of leaving Kenobi alone.?

    His Master regarded him shrewdly. ?Do you doubt my apprentice?? he asked, the threat evident in the underlying tone.

    He gave a quick shake of his chestnut hair. He had doubted his path when he was first taken and chosen by his Master. He did not want to experience that pain ever again. Tahl had died for his doubts then. He did not wish the same fate on young Obi-Wan. He was too innocent and too important for the future.

    ?No, my Master.?

    ?Good. You will die a hero?s death and join your true son soon. Your death will be the catalyst for the exposure of the corruption in the Republic. All will be given justice thanks to the service you give, Qui-Gon. You do a great honor to the Republic and the Order.?

    ?Forgive me Master, but I foresee it will be very difficult to convince Kenobi to train the Chosen One.?

    ?Use your persuasive charm and manipulate him. The same methods you use to rebel against the Council should be adequate. He will have no choice but to accept your words if you act accordingly,? the Master replied, a hint of warning in his tone.

    Qui-Gon heard the threat in the unspoken thoughts. ?If you fail your apprentice will pay the penalty..? and he flinched slightly. ?Very well my Master. I defer to your wisdom.?

    ?The tide is turning my apprentice. The Force will be with us in that.?


    ?Master!? The anguished voice of young Kenobi echoed through the chamber as he knelt down by his side. Tears of grief, anger and shock were in his eyes as he cradled the fallen Jedi?s head.

    Qui-Gon?s breath?s were labored. He knew now was the time, but he couldn?t say the words. He wanted to tell Obi-Wan how much he had meant to him, how sorry he was that he hadn?t been the Master that he should have been? all of his dreams were soon awash in a sea of doubt. He reached up to wipe his padawan?s tears away, one last time. /Don?t cry for me..../

    His Master?s unspoken threat of what might happen to his apprentice gave him his voice. He had to follow through ? for the good of the Republic? for the life of his apprentice, no matter how hard it was to him.

    ?Obi-Wan, promise me you will train the boy.?

    ?Yes, Master,? Kenobi desperately agreed, ready to promise anything to save his teacher.

    ?He is the Chosen One. He will bring balance. Train him.?

    A final shuddering breath and Qui-Gon felt the darkness claim him, never hearing his padawan?s broken sobs.

  8. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    Two more great entries Kynstar and Layren I loved them both! :D =D=
  9. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    I had to laugh when I saw that this was updated twice since I didn't remember changing the headers. :p Thanks Layren!

    Kynstar - oh, loved that you used the Death Star to blow up Coruscant. What a great idea. And poor Qui-Gon thinking that it was a good thing. Boy, his mind has certainly twisted around, even if the Force is telling him to do it. Great job.

    Layren Loved how you tied in the whole dying scene and that it was all a fake to get Kenobi to take on Anakin. That Qui-Gon had to use manipulation to do so. Gives a whole new meaning to the Council scene and this one. Great job with it.

    Well done both of you... see, it wasn't so hard after all![face_batting] :D
  10. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    All For The Greater Good... Would you believe I'm not a bit surprised that Dooku is there right next to evil Qui?? A most delicious fic with Qui doing what the Force demands.. no matter what. Bravo Kynstar.

    A Broken Sacrifice Oooh, very good keeping cannon up and just giving it a little twist. That was quite nice Layren.

  11. raisedbywolves

    raisedbywolves Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 1, 2005
    :_| Each of these were so sad!!

    Kynstar, I thought leaving so much of this story to our (obviously vivid) imaginations was actually a great device.

    Layren, "The Sith had been able to persuade him through various methods" - oh, that doesn't sound very nice at all!
    Loved the threat to Obi-Wan, it makes Qui-Gon's decision much more believable.
  12. darshaassant

    darshaassant Jedi Youngling star 2

    Mar 13, 2005
    :_| Kynstar: WAHHHHHHH! :_| At east he still feels a little regret...

    Layren: Another sad one too. Reminds me of the conspirascist theories.
  13. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 16, 2004
    Kyn: Qui and the death star???!!! Lady, you never fail to amaze me. :D In a very very good way. Ooh, that was thrilling. But he killed Obi for the greater good! <wails>

    Layren: Such an unwilling sacrifice. And Qui had to go along with it too. Cool!

    Great work, you two. :D

  14. vader_incarnate

    vader_incarnate Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 29, 2002
    *nervous* First post here. [face_blush]

    Title: "The Last Fall"
    Author(s): vader_incarnate
    Timeframe: post-TPM
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin
    Genre: drama, AU
    Summary: It's the last fall that kills a man. Always.
    Notes: Love to obaona, because she encourages me and my obsessions. Written because Batman Begins made me want to write morally ambiguous Qui-Gon fic liek whoa. o_O Actaeon, anyone?

    Though you make a token effort to escape, you don?t try very hard or run very far because you know they?ll bring you to earth in the end.

    [i]Can?t you hear the baying of the hounds?[/i]

    Soft moonlight bathes your surroundings, hesitating to cling to you as if it knows that you shun its touch. You move through the night without pause, and your motion stirs the darkness around you, trailing invisible swirls of night in your wake.

    You can hear them. Or, more importantly, you can [i]feel[/i] them; your pursuers are numerous and closing in, but there are two in particular that catch and hold your attention. They are bright and familiar, glistening in the darkness like a pair of stars, and you can't help, in spite of it all, regretting that you caused this turmoil to fall upon them.

    You?d hoped that they wouldn?t come, even as you knew that they would. They will come because not to come would be unthinkable. You?ve trained them too well, and they wouldn?t leave such a threat to the Republic at large, even if it is their master. Especially if it is their master.

    Oddly, that may be the one thing you regret most about tonight: that your sons should see their father fall.

    It will not be your first fall, but it may well be your last.

    According to the stories, the first fall is the most costly. But in your experience, it?s the last fall that kills a man.

    You can't deny that it was different than your normal modus operandi. Or even that it was reckless or foolhardy or even, yes, stupid. But, in the end, what would you have accomplished? Had you succeeded, you would have saved them all; you've seen what the future holds, and you know what price you would give to keep it from becoming reality.

    Your life. Your soul.

    You would give your soul to save theirs and, perhaps, that's exactly what you're doing.

    So in the end, you find yourself merely waiting when you hear Anakin catching up to you. The boy doesn't even try to hide his approach, making no attempt at stealth or secrecy. And of course that's what he would do: the most direct method first, trying to reason and using force only if all else failed.

    "Aren't the stars beautiful tonight, Anakin?" you ask when you sense he's behind you, close enough to hear your soft voice on the night but at a discreet enough distance that you can't quite reach him with a good kick. He's wary; that's good.

    Oh, how well you've trained the hounds that hunt you.

    But they are young, yet, and have not surpassed their master.

    Perhaps they never will.

    "Qui-Gon," the young man responds, ignoring your question. "They say you tried to assassinate the Chancellor tonight."

    "And almost succeeded, too," you reply, turning to face him and noting that he takes an instinctive step back. "But I suppose they wanted to keep that off the holos to keep up the public morale."

    He's grown so much since you first found him on Tatooine; he's almost as tall as you are, but in the moonlight he still looks so damned young. Too young to be caught up in any of this.

    "Qui-Gon, I don't understand--"

    "You'll understand if I don't come quietly, of course?" you interrupt, and before he has a chance to react, you're on the move.

    He has his shields up in an instant with all the raw strength of the Chosen One, but you aren't using the Force. A quick jab to his neck leaves him unconscious and boneless in your arms, and you lower him gently to the floor.

    "I'm sorry, Anakin," you murmur, reflexively running a hand through his hair. He'd never allow that, awake. "It's for the b>
  15. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    Yay.. welcome vader_incarnate.

    That is stunning and ambiguous in the extreme!! I can't help but love we've no idea who is on the side of darkness... that it could in fact be either one. vi, you must come play with us more often, please!!

  16. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    Whoa, that was so cool! I couldn't decide if he was the bad guy or the good guy but he even when he was fighting them, he left himself open to attack (unconsciously or not).

    Great job!!!
  17. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    OH Vadey! I almost hate reading your stuff because it always makes me so darn jealous! :mad:

    But well done. Yeah, I'm glad for you. Yeah, wonderful![face_not_talking] :cool: o_O

    Okay, well done! There! Actually extremely well done and twisted. I like that! [face_whistling]
  18. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Mar 2, 2004
    Awwwwwesome! LOVED it! Poor Qui :( he did try to tell them, but in the end it's too late...always too late.

    Great job!
  19. StarFighter5

    StarFighter5 Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 25, 2003
    That was nice. Qui Gon the double agent. Working against the Jedi to protect the Jedi. Or something like that.:p
  20. raisedbywolves

    raisedbywolves Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 1, 2005
    Oh wow. That was wonderful! I loved the image of the hounds coming to hunt Qui-Gon down. And I've rarely seen anything done in second person so well! Wow!
  21. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Oct 28, 2003
    Oooh Vadey! I echo what was said earlier! you must come play with us more often!!
  22. darshaassant

    darshaassant Jedi Youngling star 2

    Mar 13, 2005
    Love the tense. ANd the rest. I'm too stunned to say anything else. It rocks, man.
  23. -The-Negotiator-

    -The-Negotiator- Jedi Youngling

    Jun 23, 2005

    raisedbywolves Ah, so downright evil in this. Poor Shmi. :(

    ithesock I absolutely adore this. [face_love] But you already know that. ;)

    diane Qui-Gon was absolutely ghastly in this, but it was so well done. The astmosphere was chilling and vivid.

    VaderVLR64 (shudders) Someone worse than Xanatos, and in such a quiet, creepy way. :eek:

    Kynstar The thing that got me was Qui-Gon's tears at the end, because he didn't want to do it, but thought it was necessary. Very in character there. Great job. :)

    Layren Oy, what a twist! That can definitely make one think differently of The Phantom Menace. :D

    vader_incarnate I so loved the style. It was beautiful to read. =D=


    * * *

    ?Really, Qui-Gon. You indulge him as if he were a child.?

    In the massive doorway stood the tall, lean figure of Count Dooku. The darkness clung to his every surface, as though he possessed the shadows, and would string them along as he moved into the chamber. But when he walked across the polished wood, only his heels trailed a black silhouette. The rest of him was lit by the amber incandescence that streaked out from glow rods. Like everything else, they were incased in old world grandeur, surrounded by intricately carved, jewel encrusted metal.

    Qui-Gon Jinn watched him approach. With his slow, elegant gait, the Serenno native and former Jedi Master appeared much like a King observing the state of his palace, obsidian orbs flickering over the walls and furniture, the richly textured fabrics that spilled across the floor and bed, hung from the sprawling windows. One could feed a starving village for weeks-dessert included-with the mounds of credits tossed into this single room?s décor. One might think (and in this case, ?one? represented Qui-Gon) that such frivolity was ridiculous, even embarrassing.

    But then, Qui-Gon was not a member of the higher class, could not wake to a five-course breakfast and spend the whole of the day strolling down art-filled hallways and sipping tea with an array of equally endowed acquaintances. He didn?t much care for the desperate façade of the wealthy. This room was piled with priceless artifacts and treasures, but in the end, it was a room like any other. Walls, a door, a window.

    What truly mattered was who lived within those walls, and walked through that door, gazed out the window. Despite all that had happened in recent weeks, Qui-Gon still believed that. Or, at least in the case of this particular room.

    ?He?s tired. This has been?? He sighed; glancing at the form huddled on the bed, ?Difficult for him to accept.?

    Dooku stopped at the foot of the bed, which was draped in maroon silks and pillows, and studied the scene of Master and apprentice.

    Obi-Wan Kenobi lay curled in the middle of the downy expanse, hands over his face. Between the slender fingers was clenched a plaited length of auburn hair. Qui-Gon sat beside him, gently smoothing damp strands off the pale forehead. Together, they projected a tacit tenderness, for it was evident that the older man was providing comfort to his young protégé?something that was not so easily accomplished these tangled, confusing days.

    For many of those days, Kenobi had been in this exact position. Dooku could understand a period of shock following the initial severance with the Order, but really, this was unbecoming of the lad. And Qui-Gon?s behavior was little better. This incessant coddling was unnecessary and detrimental to their agenda. If Dooku were not aware of Kenobi?s supreme skill and potential, he would be tempted to think that the apprentice was not vital to him, and therefore, unworthy of his place in the Serenno castle.

    But Kenobi was vital, just as his Master was. Their combined power was, perhaps, limitless.

    Of course, there were obstacles blocking their ascension.

    ?But he must accept it, Qui-Gon.? Dooku said crisply, looking his one-time student in the eye, ?The road we have chosen is not for the
  24. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    OH, this was really wonderful. I kept wondering if Qui-Gon was Sith or not.Even now, I'm not quite sure - so ambigious is he, both light and dark and straining towards the dark. I loved the language, the descriptions, the way it flowed, leading you down a path of discovery.

    But now is a greater mystery... who are you??????:eek: Sock of someone who likes/adores Obi-Wan. This is driving me nuts. Thanks for that!

    Great job with the story!
  25. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    Just came back from seeing Batman Begins and find this gem.

    Ooohhh, -The-Negotiator-, that was wonderful! And long and oh so sneaky of Qui-Gon, but just how is he planning to change the universe??.
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