Qui-Gon's First Padawan

up!!!!!

 

*Ar hits her head on desk* I meant to reply to this yesterday. Sorry!

 

yeah a post

 

Oh, Liara has to worry about not getting posts because this is *only* the 78th. How much longer did it take me to make 3 pages (coughmorethanaweekcough)? And same comments as always: good ideas, more detail.

 

fine I know but I have posted more on mine and you had more fans

 

:elurks:: Hi, I've been reading your story off and on. It's pretty good, keep it up! =)

 

yeah someone likes it

 

Up!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Here you go.

------------
Ariana rushed to the cockpit where her master was sitting. "Master, what's going on?"

"Well, Padawan, it seems that we have been detected again." Just then a enormous explosion rocked the ship. "They hit our engine, I'll have to land somewhere in a hurry." Qui-gon commented, his seemingly implacable continence driving Ariana nuts. "Hold on tight Padawan." He instructed. The ship was bounced, and buffeted by the laser bolts, and the atmosphere of Malastare. Both Master and Padawan held on for dear life, while Qui-gon piloted the ship down, using the Force as a guide. After much bucking, and struggling, the ship finally hit the ground, none to softly. "Come, Padawan. We must hurry and get out before the ship blows up." Qui-gon
hurried out the hatch, with Ariana close on his heels.

When they were safely away from the now burning wreckage of their ship, Ariana asked, "Master, what are we going to do now?"

"Well, Padawan, I suppose wee shall have to hike to safety." Just the several, none to friendly feeling, figures appeared and surrounded the two Jedi. Blasters trained on them.

 

feedback PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!


One man from the crowd dressed entirely in black stepped forward. Qui-Gon had no idea who it was and neither did Ariana.

?What is the meaning of this!? Qui-Gon exclaimed.

?You mean you don?t recognize me old friend,? the man said.

?Unfortunately not,? Qui-Gon replied.

?I am Hurge, I was in the same group of initiates as you.? The man explained.

?I believe I remember you actually, you were small for your age, Right?? Qui-Gon said.

?Yes, the one everyone picked on. The one everyone, especially you, made fun
of. Yes, that is me, and because of the way you treated me you will be punished.?

 

Ohhh, Qui-Gon teasing someone...? Well, I guess most people do at one time. Even us who are picked on ourselves.

That was good, but of course I want more.

 

Does that mean that YOU get picked on?

 

Not anymore. I actually got people to like me this year. I have more than two friends.

 

Well, that's good, I guess. I'm glad people don't pick on you anymore!

 

Oh, but it was funny. One had this strange story about what would have happened if Ani had a pit droid with one leg. Inspired by my broken keychain.

 

I wrote that inspireed by when I used to be picked on

 

Sounds like you got over it too, good.

 

I am new here. Aralna has got me in to it. She insists that if i like something to say so. so here goes. I wish you to keep adding because this makes sense and i really like it.

 

Thank you for finally posting. I've been trying to get her to for over a week.

 

Thank you for posting I really appreciate the feedback

 

I am really not sure what to write so the next post might not be up untill tommorow

 

PLEASE POST

 

*looks around* who post? Me? Well, I'll post anyway. Jk, is DWB still attacking you?

 

This story is comming along great, but i saw a few errors in this segment, First you for got quotations around the very begining. and you spelled 'an' ans. There are more but i don't like being rude.

 

Hello. I need more of that story!!!!!!! Keep it going!!!!!!!!!!! Hi Aralna.