Provo Quote board--IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

Discussion in 'SouthWest Region Discussion' started by DarthIshtar, Sep 30, 2006.

Moderators: DieWompRatDie, Grimby
  1. MiaTieska Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2003
    star 4
    Kateydidnt: Were you trying to play footsie with me?
    SpiritofEowyn: I thought it was the table leg!

    ~~~~~

    [everyone is talking about natural disasters -- don't ask how we were on the topic -- talking over each other and then:]
    Gardener: Caesar Romero was tall.

    ~~~~~

    [Gardener came to visit and made wands for a couple of people, and they were showing them to us]
    Dana: What did she make the wands with?
    Kateydidnt: Chopsticks, not chapsticks!

    ~~~~~

    [Gardener is reading outloud all the ingredients to everything we're eating]
    SpiritofEowyn: *points wand* Silencio!
    Gardener: *keeps reading*

    A few minutes later:
    Ish: *points wand* Avada Kedavra!
    Gardener: *keeps reading*

    A minute later:
    SpiritofEowyn: What's the one where you control people? Imperio!
    Gardener: No one can control the Gardener. ...I can't even control the Gardener.
  2. Allofthemonkeys Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2007
    star 1
    My coworker Andy: Kiwis look like a hairy spiders butt
  3. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Another late-night gem from me and Katey in the context of her reading Stargate fanfic:

    K: It's a fanfic about Jack's clone...
    M: You're obsessed with this clone.
    K: Well, he only shows up for one episode and then they don't say anything for THREE SEASONS!
    M: Well, that's plot bunny fodder.

    (later)

    K: But it's really well-written because it was written by a guy who's...in the military, so he knows what he's talking about.
    M: For a second, I thought you were going to say it was written by a guy who's a clone.
    K: Yes, so he knows what he's talking about.
    M: Hmmm...
    K: It was written by Dolly the Sheep!
    M: That explains a LOT of fanfics.
  4. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Why you never discuss titles with headphones on (me and Katey again):

    M: Here's an option for a title: Honor's Wrath
    K: HUH?
    M: Honor's Wrath.
    K: Oh...OH! I was hearing "Honor's Raft."
    M: Oh, yes, because it's a crossover between Star Wars and...
    K: Huck Finn?
    M: Exactly!
  5. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Kate's friend much earlier in the century: Window's Vista is so sexy...

    Tonight:

    Me: Not all of us think Windows Vista is sexy.
    Him: It's still sexy. It's just crap. It's sexy crap. It's like a dumb blonde.
  6. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    At a restaurant this weekend:

    Little Girl (about three): I went pee an' I washed my hands!
    Mother: Shhhh! Everybody in the restaurant doesn't need to know.
  7. MiaTieska Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2003
    star 4
    [Dana has had problems with her laptop battery, charging port, etc. lately -- this just took place over IM]

    Dana: *gasp* compy is running on ac power!
    Dana: i just know that if I move it, though, it'll start whining at me
    Dana: i should call it "Compy", 'cause it's deceptive, and just when you think, "Aww, nice computer!" it hisses, pops its frill thing, and sprays acid on you so it can eat you
    Mia: hahahahaha
    Mia: you, my dear, just got quote boarded.
  8. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Me and my coworker C.:

    C: Did you know a noun could be neutral?
    Me: Neutral? Do you mean neuter?
    C: Yes! Neutered!
    Me: No, neuter. It's neither female nor male.
    C: Right, neutered.
    Me: No, not neutered. It's not like 'Is your noun spayed?'
  9. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Me: It's in Ladron que roba al...
    Katey: What about the drunk?
  10. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Me: Quiero dormir
    Katey: Where's the bed?
    Me: ...
    Katey: I want to sleep?

    and later

    Katey: I got it right the next time!
    Me: Yes, I'm very proud of your linguistic powers of elimination.
  11. Allofthemonkeys Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2007
    star 1
    At a church meeting the bishop said, "We need to clear the food out of the closet because the church doesn't want to atract varmits and vermin."

    One of the other guys in the meeting, "What? I'm already here."
  12. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Convo between me, Kara and Chris at a party last night:

    Chris: So, I dreamed last night that I was dating Paris Hilton.
    Kara: Ew!
    Me: I'm sorry.
    Kara: What a nightmare...
    Chris: Actually, it was pretty awesome. At least I was.

    and me to Katey last night: Yeah, so when she did cornrows, no one told me I'd look like Shepherd Book when I took them out!
  13. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Okay, this has to go up, with me and my sister.

    Me (getting into her car): Hey.
    My sister: Good grief! You should have knocked or warned me you were there! You could be a car thief!
    Me: I don't think a lot of car thieves go around to ignited cars...
    MS: WHAT?!
    Me: I think I mean...cars that you turned on the ignition...you know what I mean!
    MS: Yeah, because cars that have burst into flame are a lot better!
  14. Allofthemonkeys Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2007
    star 1
    My friend Marnee, "Christina, you're trying to get Dan to Psuedo-strip in the chapel? You are too obsesed with Mr. Darcy."
  15. Allofthemonkeys Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2007
    star 1
    At work I said: I need some date ideas

    my now famous co worker Andy: You want to date an Indian?
  16. Allofthemonkeys Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2007
    star 1
    Some quotes from my friends birthday party.

    Brodrick, "I don't know whats going on, but three guys just raised their hands to 'metapause'."

    Michelle, "Is 10 violent?"
    Jake, "No, it golf, lowest score wins."
  17. Allofthemonkeys Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2007
    star 1
    Some more crazy friend quotes.

    "I lost mt thong!" Random party girl.

    "I assume my prize in in the freezer." Todd as he was in the kitchen.

    "Bryers Rocky Road is like crack." Marnee
  18. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    "So, I'm driving along and you were sitting out there and wearing that shirt and I saw bush, bush, bush, oh, that bush has red hair!" ~Dana on my visibility in green shirts.
  19. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Me: GL
    Gardener: GL? Oh, good luck.
    Me: No, silly. I was wishing you George Lucas. May your final have crappy dialogue and cool explosions!
    G: Eek no!
  20. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Me: I love making new OCs
    AlexisWingstar: OC's come out of my brain like... um....
    Me: mush?
    AlexisWingstar: i was actually thinking like blood from a popped vessel
    but thought that was too gross
    Me: OCs are a ruptured aneurysm?
    AlexisWingstar: ROFL
    AlexisWingstar: yeah
  21. jedi_master_boy Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2007
    A couple weeks ago, we were on a drive to Pleasant Grove and passed by the Purple Turtle. Sherie commented about how we hadn't been there in a while. We get to PG and turn around and as we pass by the Purple Turtle again, I say out loud "The Purple Turtle!" and Sherie says "Oh, there's another one? Oh, wait!" At this point we both start laughing.
  22. MiaTieska Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2003
    star 4
    (Me and Ish were in the pool last night and there were a bunch of floaty toys and such in there.)

    Mia: I haven't diven for... I mean... dived for anything in awhile.

    Mia: Do you want another noodle to floot -- I mean, float with?

    ~~~~~~

    (And then, tonight, at different random points:)

    Mia: Yeah? Well, your FACE is a... non-soapy... cup... for juice...

    Mia: Why is Palpatine in the fridge??
  23. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Mia at 3 a.m. or so: I HAVE MUTATED BREAD! COME SEE!
    ****
    Me and Kateydidnt at lunch today:

    K: I've had a cucumber yogurt soup once. It was like a palate-cleansing thing.
    M: Yeah, sort of like sucking a lemon after Mexican food.
    K: But theoretically not as hard on the enamel.
    M: Yes, because computers are so...I meant to say cucumbers! Cucumbers are hard on teeth enamel!
  24. Allofthemonkeys Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2007
    star 1
    S: Wet willy!!
    A: No way, wet willy my butt!
    S: Eeewww! No way!
  25. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
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