Provo Quote board--IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

My friends, Spencer and Alicia

I so love this thread. I always come here and re-read it all when I need cheering up.

So Ish just moved in and we're roommates now, but we IM each other in our respective rooms down the hallway as much as we talk in person. This isn't so much of a quote as I wish I had a video clip of this to show you all:

(Over IM):
Me: ok there's no dinner at my fam's today so I think it's time for a nap
Ish: oh crap!

(And before I can ask what's wrong, I hear her running down the hallway past my door into the kitchen. It turns out she left her rice on the stove simmering for like 30 minutes instead of 15. Her food was fine, but just the IM coupled with her running down the hall right afterward was so classic!)

Me: "Does anyone want these gloves?"
Roommate: "I think they have cancer."

[Ish likes to speak in Spanish and me and Kateydidnt like to hit her for it cause we don't understand but she keeps doing it. This is over IM.]

Ish: garhg, je deteste l'internet ca
Mia: [Cyrillic which doesn't show up on the boards]
Mia: I hope you got my Russian
Ish: i did and don't get it.
Mia: EXACTLY
Ish: you can take my lack of response as a
Ish: ...
Mia: That's what you get for sending me foreign languages that *I* don't get!
Ish: and i spoke french. you can't hit me for french!
Mia: Watch me
Mia: what're you gonna speak next, Latin or Greek or Hebrew?
Mia: NONE OF THEM COUNT AS ENGLISH
Ish: lol
Ish: hey, latin and greek count!
Mia: IT'S NOT ENGLISH
Ish: baruch' ata, adonai, adonai el ehenu...
Mia: *smack*

Continued...

[23:16] Me: it's not spanish, punq!
[23:17] Mia: and punq is what variation of punk?
[23:17] Me: phonetic
[23:17] Me: but only because there's no schwah on a keyboard

Mia: "I'm going to go in your room while you're at work tomorrow and take away all your Nazi books."

Mata, my coworker: What the fa-la-la-la-la?

A friend tonight from Puerto Rico:

"You stroke me as a kind of person who doesn't vote with the same party all the time."

"It surprised me, because I am a CD myself."

Me and Katey today:

K: Is this your hair thingy?
M: Yeah, I think it is.
K: It was in the cabinet.
M: Was that the cabinet you were living in or the one I was living in? That came out completely wrong.
K: I got what you meant.

Asked of me by an 18 year old.

Friend:"If you can be paralyzed from the neck down. Can you be paralyzed from the neck up?"

Ish last night: "I'm trying to remember what my but is."

Roommate on phone as message family's answering machine: "You're all FIRED!"

Gardener's cousin: You have to wonder about the mental stability of someone who keeps a Gremlin as a pet.

Me (in English): Thanks for calling support, this is ***. How can I help you?
Customer (in French): French, please.
(The rest of this phone call is in French, which I speak?well, not at all. I was taking my fluent English and Spanish, trying to conjugate it in the French accent with what French I DID know from things like The Devil Wears Prada.)
Me: I?m sorry. I don?t speak French.
C: I don?t understand English. Speak French.
M: I?m VERY sorry. I don?t speak French.
C: Why not?
M: Because I speak English and Spanish and never learned French.
C: That?s fine. I need to talk to Sonja.
M: There is no Sonja in this department.
C: Yes there is. She called me from this number. I need to talk to Sonja.
M: Let me see what I can find out. One moment. (In English to manager.) Do we have a Sonja? This lady doesn?t speak English and she?s trying to find a French-speaking Sonja who called her.
Man: Yeah, I think she?s in the Phillipines.
M: This customer got a call from her.
Man: She doesn?t make phone calls.
M: Does she speak French?
Man: No. Tell the customer to call the number listed on their information pamphlet?
M: I DON?T SPEAK FRENCH!
Man: Oh?give her the phone number to the main office.
M: Okay, I can do that.

Me: Han Solo technobabbling is so hot.

Katey and I were playing a board game and she muttered something in a weird voice.

Me: You sound like a drunk Irish guy.
Her: Yeah, 'cause you know what they smell like...

During LOTR Trivial Pursuit the other night:

Katey: "The ring cannot come within one hundred yards of which city... I mean leagues..."
Me: It's not a restraining order!
Katey: Leagues!
Me: Gondor has a restraining order against the One Ring!
Dana: Gondor's not a city!

"There is a reason I'm staring at your chest."
-Ish to Dana

"Is your dismembered hand percolating?"

Katey forgot to put that the above quote was me to Captain Jack Harkness on Torchwood.

Katey (while looking for a Dr. Who episode): 42...42...where's 42?
Me: Maybe it's "24" for dyslexics.

Lol, I work for the post office, and we get some good questions!

I know it's open 24 hours, when does it close?

How much does a 42 cent stamp cost?

Do I need a passport to go to New Mexico?

And the list goes on...

You should submit a collection of those to notalwaysright.com.

On the subject of fanfic and crossovers last week...

Me: "Didn't I ever tell you about that NCIS/X-Men crossover idea I had?"
Ish: "No...?"
Me: "Yeah, that one was kateydidnt's fault."
Ish:: "Everything is kateydidnt's fault."

Truely, aren't all plotbunnies Kateydidnt's fault?