1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

  2. Hey Fanficers! In fixing the prefixes something happened and now you can't edit titles. Don't panic! We're looking into what happened and trying to fix it.

Saga R2D2 - Droid Master of the Empire (AU - droid torture - repost)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by dianethx, Jul 2, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    Title: R2D2 - Droid Master of the Empire
    Author: Diane Kovalcin
    Timeframe: RotJ
    Characters: R2D2, C3PO
    Genre: AU
    Keywords: R2D2, C3PO, RotJ
    Summary: R2D2 is not what he appears to be....
    Notes:**this means electronic speech, translated into Basic**
    This was written originally for the short story challenge on the old boards (write a good character bad or a bad character good). I was never happy with it when I first posted it but have changed the language considerably since.

    It was quiet in the Ewok village that night. Cyanbeetles sang in the darkness, a humming sound that was soothing and repetitive, inviting slumber and the sweetness of dreams. The fires were banked low and all around, the soft mounds of sleeping forms gave a gentle snoring counterpoint to the sounds in the dark forest. Soon enough, the dawn would break and the morning would bring either joy in triumph over the Empire or death to the Rebellion. Tomorrow - no, today - the attacks on the second Deathstar and on the shield generator bunker would begin. But, for now, the slumbering rebels only dreamed.

    Standing some distance from the snoring hordes, hidden from view among the tall trees, the squat astromech droid, R2D2, and his shiny counterpart, C3PO, were not dreaming, but deep in animated discourse. It appeared to be a one-sided conversation. Little R2, celebrated hero of the Rebellion, was rocking back and forth in an intense cacophony of movement, appendages whirling madly, the battered blue and silver top twisting ferociously as the enraged whistles of his electronic speech echoed harshly through the still forest. Uncharacteristically, 3PO was silent but appeared to be trembling as he tried to back away from the obviously unhappy R2 unit.

    Abruptly, R2 shot out his spiraling claw to the fearful golden droid, capturing one gleaming arm and yanking him deeper into the forest gloom. C3PO was terrified, dragging his metallic feet with horrified determination, trying frantically to get free. And then the protocol droid began to wail, ghastly sounds pitching higher and higher as the electronic screams passed above human hearing, begging for release. **Please no. Please don't do this. Please, Master, I won't do it again.**

    The little droid only clamped on tighter and began to pour shattering bolts of excruciating energy into the 3PO's hypersensitive neutral circuits. R2D2 turned his malevolent eye socket to the whimpering protocol droid and chittered balefully, **Where is that blasted Skywalker brat? You were supposed to keep track of him. Where is he? Tell me, you fool.**

    The golden mechanical only wailed his anguish, shuddering in his desperate attempt to get away from the fiendish droid. **I don't know what happened to Master Luke, I swear it.**

    The electric shocks increased in painful intensity as the diabolical R2 unit jostled the droid's gleaming arm. His shrill whistles and piercing clicks, vicious and evil, showed his intense displeasure at 3PO's last statement. **What did you call that cretin skinshell? I am the only Master here and you better not forget it.** He wrenched the golden droid's arm painfully backwards, the fiery electric shocks climbing up the helpless 3PO, spilling over the surface of the arm and writhing as flame into his interior systems.

    **Yes, Master. Sorry, so sorry. Please, you're singeing my circuits. No, please.** The metallic stench of burning circuitry filled the air as 3PO's shriek pitched higher. The droid squirmed in agony, trying to get away. **That hurts so much. Please... please... stop...**

    R2 finally dropped his claw and shot one long ferocious bolt of blue fire at 3PO. As the golden droid fell to the ground and groaned piteously, R2 moved to his side, brought out his hammer arm and punched 3PO, denting the battered armor.

    **Shut up, you stupid object. You are a fool and, if you don't do whatever I say, I will dismantle you piece by painful piece. Now, stop whining and tell
  2. Darth_Leia_6669

    Darth_Leia_6669 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 26, 2003
    Wow! That was good! I like the diabolical R2, he was just too :cool:! And C3PO getiing fried! Oh, the laughter! Great job. I'm glad you decided to repost it, or else I never would have found it!

  3. JediNemesis

    JediNemesis Jedi Padawan star 4

    Mar 27, 2003
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    *holds sides* That was just hilarious Diane!
    OMG.... evil R2... :cool: *cracks up* And his masterplan to take over the droids of the galaxy! Genius!

    Just one thing.... that Skywalker brat ?! :mad: My Luke is not a brat!

    Actually, maybe he is. ;)

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Nem [face_laugh]

    *must* *calm* *down*

  4. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    Darth_Leia_6669 Glad you liked it. I really had a good time making R2 so evil and the really scary part was that it was pretty easy to do....LOL.

    Nemesis - I'm thrilled that you thought it was funny. If you think about it, though, he was everywhere the Empire was and they did seem to dog the Rebellion's every step....there could have been a traitor and who better than the beloved R2? <<Snicker>> No one would have suspected a thing!!!

    As for the Skywalker brat...I adore Luke and he's not a brat to me....but he was a thorn in the side of the Empire for 3 movies!

    Glad you liked it. See, I can write stuff other than Obi angst!

  5. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 31, 2001
    That was hysterical
  6. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 18, 2002
    You know, I think I read this a while back, and I can't remember if I left a reply or not. So I'll do it now! :)

    Great work, Diane! I wrote an evil Owen for that challenge myself and it was a lot of fun to write a character so completely out of character. Yours however, was much better. Evil R2 was hysterical. Droids unite! That could be a presidential campaign motto for 2004...

    Hope you'll post more like this!

  7. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    Kitara - Thanks. I had fun writing it!

    Shaindl - I'm glad to get the review. I think I only got one before. I actually would have just left it alone on that old thread but I really wanted to rewrite it and improve the language. Give it more uummph!

    I remember the evil Owen! You do a great job (always) and that was pretty evil! Yes, Droids Unite!!! LOL. I can just picture R2 on a poster campaign for president...

    As for posting more, I really should be writing more Betrayal and at least finish it first...

    Glad you liked it and, btw, stunning post on your Garen fic!!! I want MORE!!!
  8. Happy_Hobbit_Padawan

    Happy_Hobbit_Padawan Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 3, 2003
    That was brilliant! :D
  9. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    Thanks HHP I thought this was long buried.... but it was great fun to write!
  10. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Sep 10, 2002

    skinshell Leia


    The CGI bedroom scene


    **Yes, Master. It was unbelievable. But you weren't to blame, no, not you. Vader blasted you. It's his fault you were unconscious. I'm sure that you would have been able to deflect the shot that Luke made. You are the Master. It's Vader's fault.**


    :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

    I never liked that droid! ;)
  11. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    This was hilarious! I loved R2 and his evil master plan? Hey, how do WE know it didn't happen that way?
    Great job!
  12. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Apr 20, 2000
    Hilarious. [face_laugh]
  13. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    Whoa, I thought this was well and truly buried.

    leia_naberrie - LOL. Thanks for the I never liked that droid! I think he's rather endearing in a twisted sort of way.

    VaderLVR64 - You are right. It might actually be that R2 is the phantom menace behind all the problems of the Rebellion...LOL. Thanks.

    RebelMom - Thanks. I try, I really do...

  14. Fate

    Fate Jedi Master star 3

    Apr 22, 2003
    *grins* Great job, dianethx! :) So uncharacteristic, and yet so very believable. I actually felt bad for Threepio, and that's saying something. Bad Artoo! Bad! :mad: ;)

    I'm glad this got rediscovered. :)
  15. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    Thanks Fate. You felt bad for Threepio--- oh my! [face_shocked]
  16. Wes_Janson

    Wes_Janson Jedi Youngling star 5

    Mar 17, 2004
    This needs to be continued/expanded!

    rewtite the entire saga!

    Good fic.
  17. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    Thanks Wes. I'm really surprised that you found this one! It's been buried forever. Unfortunately, this is the only one of its ilk. But thanks for asking. Glad you enjoyed it.
  18. Jedikma

    Jedikma Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 5, 2004
    Wow! I never knew R2D2 could be so diabolical!

    hehehehe! This was so great, I loved it.

    R2D2 rocked with amusement, chuckling in sincere malice. **Yes, yes. My turning Anakin was a master stroke of subtlety and deviousness. He really believed those holopics I fabricated about that skinshell wife of his and the oh-so-honorable Obi-Wan Kenobi. The CGI bedroom scene was perfect, with those naked writhing bodies and the moans of pleasure. And the fake discussions of how they were deceiving Anakin and loving it. Such treachery, such subterfuge. Those scenes just tipped him over to the Dark Side.** R2 chortled with malevolence. **Yes, I am the Master.**

    So now we know the truth behind Anakin's turning! What they can do with CGI! Oh the treachery!

    Great job, Diane!

    ~Jedikma :)
  19. Knight-Ander

    Knight-Ander Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 19, 2002
    Diane, you need to seek-out help from the best psychologists money can buy. :p

    I never heard of "droid torture" before. Very clever. :D
  20. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    Jedikma Thanks for reading. It was a twisted view of the universe but think about it. He was in all the movies and had the perfect opportunity to take over the universe - without anyone being aware of it!!! Everyone would believe little R2...LOL


    Knight-Ander Diane, you need to seek-out help from the best psychologists money can buy. LOL [face_laugh]

    Actually, I got the idea of droid torture from ROTJ where they were torturing droids at Jabba's palace. I figured R2 was perfectly suited to it - he had all those arms and the arc lightening... And who would believe that R2 was a crazed megalomaniac? LOL.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.