Beyond - Legends Rags to Riches - Starring Han and Leia, COMPLETED! Author replies up

We'll just say that I was being sarcastic when I said it wasn't very mushy. *gives best innocent face* I have proven the fact that I can't write H/L angst. Thanks, everyone!

 

Up! I have a four-day weekend, so I'll probably get around to updating this story sometime soon.

 

Awesome story!!! This is alot closer to how I imagined post-RotJ before I read the EU.
Great job.

 

Thank you! I'll be updating soon (though not as soon as I had thought, as usual)

 

Hey, everyone - sorry about the wait.
My muse hasn't been friendly as of late.

Oh yeah, that's what I call poetry.

The next chapter brings back our beloved Fabio...and his changes in accent are on purpose, by the way. There's also a quote from Hamlet and a quote from Heart of Darkness, and if anyone can find them I'll give you a slice of pumpkin pie.

KnightedRogue - Thank you! Well, I suppose it is mush, after all...

Solo_Fan - Hehehe...I was hoping that I could trick some people. I'm happy you loved the mush. I have also always wondered what it would be like for Han and Leia to have a child who wasn't force-sensitive. I wanted their first to be a Jedi, however, and thought their second child could be like Han, and be extremely skilled, yet unable to use the Force.

jedi-lelila - Yup, Han is a very bad boy. You're welcome - glad you loved the mush.

GreatOne - Hey, I got you too? In the words of Family Guy, tee hee. I'm glad you liked the post.

dm1 - I actually can dish out angst...when it has nothing to do with Han and Leia. The H/L angst part of my muse is completely unaccesible.

I'm sure it was quite the punishment. I'm glad you still love it!

HerHighness33 - Another mush lover, I see...thanks!

Starrunner - Welcome to the story! I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm flattered that you think it's closer to what post-ROTJ should have been than the EU.

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Chapter 70

When it had reached mid-morning on Ican?tbelieve, the Solos, Chewbacca, and Threepio exited the Falcon in order to make the best of their stay. They would be leaving the next morning, and they wanted to do as much damage?or, enjoy themselves as much as possible.

However, their day was not going to go as planned, if Fabio had anything to do about it. He was poised on his noble steed in front of the Falcon, silhouetted by the sun and all its magnificence, hair whipping in the wind and his very presence mocking all the mere mortals surrounding him.

The (other) creature bucked, and Fabio leaned back, facing the group and running elegant fingers gently through his glorious mane, before slowly bringing down his hand, clenched in a fist, so that it rested against his dignified brow. He closed his eyes with pensive flair, and began to speak.

?My friends, my allies??

Then he fell off.

Han started laughing, while Leia went to check on the fallen idol, pitying him.

?I am but hurt,? he whispered before fainting.

***

A half hour later, Fabio came to with the help of his servants? fanning. He squinted one eye open, seeing a crowd huddled around him, then quickly shut it again, moaning softly.

?The horror! The horror!? he murmured.

?What was that?? Han asked.

?Fabio say?the horror, the horror!?

?What?s the horror? The fact that you miserably fell off, or the fact that you?re hurt??

?Han!? Leia exclaimed, shoving him gently.

?The horror?the horror is?my hair is mussed,? he sighed. ?Do you?have a comb or brush??

?Uh, no, I don?t have either of those. Leia likes the messy look,? Han replied, grinning impishly. ?In fact, I think you would have better luck with the ladies if you didn?t worry about your hair so much. I think you tend to scare them off.?

?You think?women scared of me? But Fabio so tan, and beautiful, with such long, blonde hair. He so cultured and?mysterious.?

?Yeah, except you have the wrong idea. Women don?t go for the nice, cultured men - they go for the scoundrels. I know from personal experience.?

Leia rolled her eyes and attended to Alden, ignoring the men, but Fabio sat up.

?You think Fabio should be a scoundrel?? the prince asked attentively.

?Well?I really don?t think it?s possible, but you would get more women that way.?

?Fabio will be a scoundrel. Will you?help me, Han??

?I guess, since I?m the expert. Let?s see,? he began, rubbing his hands together, ?f

 

"I am but hurt" is said by Claudius in the final scene of "Hamlet". I've never read Heart of Darkness, but it's on my list!

My lit major freakishness is revealed yet again.

I vote for the extended "Matrix"-style fight scene, with a touch "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" in it . . . right, or have Leia punch the dude.

LOL about the covers of idiotic romance novels!

Great job, PrincessDaisy2!

*KR*

 

?But I did come off the cover of an idiotic romance holonovel,? Fabio protested.


**rolling_on_floor_ **

_________________________________

Can we have Threepio do Ring-Around-the-Rosie with Tonto, er, Fabio? (Sorry, but your dialogue for our flaxen-haired flummox brought flashbacks of that SNL skit with Tonto, Frankenstein and Tarzan...I have no es'planation other than the time...)

...Of course, Han gets to give Fabio a wedgie and then deck him first!

Oh, please don't let Han do too good of a job with his Scoundrel Eye for the Pampered Guy makeover...

 

There?s no way you could beat me, anyway. I?m Han Solo, for Sith?s sake - *shakes her head* Han, you and your oversided ego.

Funny post, Princess.

~Lelila

 

hmmm. What should Han do? Hmmmm. Since Leia is standing right there, he should ask his wife. I think she'd like that! - And then Leia could tell Fabio exactly what she thinks of him! Getting lashed by Leia's tongue would be the worst whipping Fabio could get!

 

?Yeah, except you have the wrong idea. Women don?t go for the nice, cultured men - they go for the scoundrels. I know from personal experience.? That's for sure!

Fabio's attempts at becoming a scoundrel were hilarious! As to what to do with him now that he revealed his plan, Leia won't be too happy if Han beat him up, would she (ever the diplomat)? Maybe GreatOne has the right idea in asking Leia's opinion, or Threepio COULD do ring around the rosie with him, like Rxchiquita suggested. That would truly be punishment!

 

I think Han should be Han, and use either his verbal wit or his blaster to put Fabio in his place. Han doesn't need to worry about impressing Leia because he knows how Leia feels about him.

 

SoloFan is right. Han should use his blaster... maybe challenge him to a duel, and then watch as Fabio wets his pants! LOL!

 

Thanks, everyone! All your ideas were really good. Han using his blaster is a definite possibility. I'll consider it. Who knows, maybe I can work everyone's ideas in.

I'll be gone most of this weekend, so I probably won't get the next post up until sometime next week. I'll have it up by Thanksgiving break at the very latest.

 

at the way Fabio talks

Great Post!

 

Cool beans! I'm still trying to put together the next chapter, but I should have it up fairly soon. Thanks for all the replies!

 

Hey everyone. Happy Thanksgiving!

I disappoint yet again. I was almost done with my next chapter, and was all set to finish it tonight, but then my brother decided to go to bed, and he's sleeping in my computer room. That's Thanksgiving for ya - too many people to keep track of. I'll post the next chapter asap, though.

I hope you all have a great day, whether or not you celebrate Thanksgiving. Feast!!!!


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(my turkey looked much cooler when it was formatted differently)

 

Finally, it's here! I gotta get this going since I have to wake up early tomorrow to go shopping...

I forgot to mention that I'm going to Disneyland yet again next week, so I don't know what the deal will be with the next post. It'll be the forth time my parents have gone this year. It's sad.

KnightedRogue - Very good with the line recognition. Here's some pumpkin pie! Not really, but you can use your imagination. The other one is "the horror! the horror!" from Heart of Darkness. The book is a real downer, but it's a quick read. It only takes a few hours. Looking back at your post, I wish I had done your Matrix idea, but it's too late. That would have been funny. I'm glad you liked the chapter!

rxchiquita - I'm glad you thought it was funny! I don't remember that sketch, which is pretty amazing for a SNL freak like me. What exactly happened? And Han won't do a good job with his makeover because he's not going to do it anymore.

jedi-lelila - Thank you! Hehe, Han will never completely lose his ego.

GreatOne - Leia will get the chance, but Han and his blaster will prevail.

I like your signature. Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain...

dm1 - I'm glad you liked it! I tried to incorporate a variety of readers' ideas with my own strangeness, but there were so many different approaches it was hard to go with all of them. Hopefully the chapter is satisfactory (though Leia does go a little OOC).

Solo_Fan - The next chapter most closely represents what you suggested. Congrats!

Starrunner - I'm glad you liked it - thanks for reading!

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Chapter 71

Han was quick on the draw, pulling his blaster out of its holster and pointing it directly at Fabio?s chest. The prince cowered, falling to the ground and covering his head and chest with his arms, hair falling in front of him, creating an ineffectual blast shield.

?Ah, stop it, Captain Solo, stop! Oh, how dreadful. Why don?t we play ring-around-the-rosie instead?? Threepio cried.

?What the hell are you doing, Fabio?? Han questioned, ignoring the droid.

?Don?t shoot me!? the prince meekly commanded.

?And why shouldn?t I? This whole time you?ve been lying, and I?ve had to put up with all your stupid behavior. Maybe the galaxy would be better off without you.?

Dun dun dun!

?No, I?ll change, I promise!?

Han pushed the blaster closer. ?What, you mean like how you wanted to become a scoundrel? You weren?t exactly telling the truth about that one.?

Dun dun dun!

?I really did want to become a scoundrel. I just couldn?t do it. This time I?ll follow through. I won?t go after your wife anymore.?

?You may have been telling the truth before, buddy, but you still had the wrong intentions. I don?t believe you.?

Dun dun dun!

?Please, just give me a chance. It?s what your wife wants.?

Han glanced over to Leia, keeping an eye on Fabio. She shrugged.

?I don?t really think she cares what happens to you, Fabio.?

Dun dun dun!

?Where?s that blasted noise coming from??? Han asked Fabio, scowling.

Dun dun dun!

Fabio nervously pointed over to a man playing a large instrument nearby. The musician was watching them intently, hands poised over the apparatus. Han swiftly shifted his arm so that his blaster was pointing at the man.

?Are you finished?? Han asked, voice offering no alternative.

The man nodded, but by this time Fabio had jumped to a standing position and was attempting to run away. Han leapt after the prince, tackling him to the ground. The air escaped from Fabio?s lungs with a loud ?umpf!?

?I?m not finished with you yet. In fact, maybe Leia wants to help,?? Han said, glancing at his wife.

?Not really. You go ahead. Don?t shoot him, though, Han. He?s not worth it.?

Han gawked, amazed at his wife?s uncharacteristically sadistic attitude, while Fabio made a wheezing sound under the weight of

 

Chic! un nouveau chapitre!

Sorry, I'm a bit tired and I don't really want to speak English today. I'll make an effort, because it is you!

I loved this post. Though, a bit shocked by Leia's sadistic attitude! Hopefully, Han's behavior didn't completely detained on her!

~Lelila

 

LOL! So, once again, Fabio is out cold! And he deserves it too! Great post.

 

Thanks, you two! I think everyone else is running away screaming...

 

Good! Fabio got what he deserved!
Great post!

 

I'm still reading! I just haven't been online much this holiday weekend. I think Han and Leia should have Fabio shipped off to some primitive planet where the natives can have fun with him. When it comes to Fabio, I like Leia being sadistic. Glad you liked my idea. Han and his blaster are inseparable.

 

Thanks! Hopefully I can get another chapter up before I leave for my vacation. If not, I'll just have to see how much free time I have while in Disneyland (which probably isn't much).

 

Well, I'm going to Disneyland tomorrow. I'll try to write the next chapter at the hotel, but I can't guarantee anything. I hope everyone sticks around.

 

Hey, I'm working on the next chapter - really! I'll do my best to get it up during my vacation. Wow, Fantasmic is loud.