Rainbow's End: Versé's Story

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Handmaiden Yané, Aug 11, 2002.

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  1. Handmaiden Yané Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 6
    Here's a story about the most elusive of the AOTC handmaidens: Versé! I hope this turns out to be a good story..

    Title: Rainbow's End: Versé's Story
    Author: Handmaiden Yané
    Rating: PG, I suppose
    Time Period: pre-AOTC
    Spoilers: Minor spoilers concerning AOTC
    Disclaimer: The Star Wars universe and everything in it belongs to George Lucas and Lucasfilm, Ltd. No money is being made from this story and no infringement is intended.

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Prologue~In the Garden

    A young woman sits on a stone bench, looking into the pond before her. Her reflection stares back at her. It shows a radiant, merry face wreathed with lovely red-gold hair. Amethyst eyes twinkle back at her, and her red, full lips smile. Her cheeks are pleasantly pink. Her head is cocked, listening for a special sound. The whistle of a beautiful bird. Yet, the whistle won't be made by a bird, but by a very special someone.

    A rainbow stretches across the surface of the pond. The girl absently wonders what is really at the end of a rainbow. She wraps her arms around her. She feels as if she is on a journey; a journey towards the end of the rainbow.

    Suddenly, she hears the whistle. She is instantly off her feet, running towards him.


    Chapter One
    The Flower in the Florist's Shop

    Versé Vilana sighed as she started on yet another rose wreath. She hated and loved the third month of winter, the month of love. She hated it because of all the rose wreaths she had to make in her mother's florist shop. She was seventeen! She shouldn't be here in a florist shop, she should be at a party! She loved this month because she loved love. And because her birthday was on the 14th, Lovers' Day.

    A month ago, she really couldn't care less about romance. But that was before Devon. Wonderful Devon.

    Versé's face took on a faraway look. Jobali Vilana looked sharply at her daughter.

    "Versé! Are you done with your quota yet?"

    "Almost, Mama, almost." Versé replied absently.

    *Due to the fact that Versé is obsessed about Devon, we will skip past her love lorn thoughts and move ahead*

    Versé quickly finished her last wreath. At last! She got into her winter things and raced out the door. She ran to the ice skating rink.

    Versé loved Naboo. She loved Theed. And she loved the Theed Ice Rink. She met Devon and kissed him on the cheek. Together they rented some skates and then they headed out to the rink.

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    So, so far Versé is a lovelorn teenager.

    Feedback?

    February is actually the third month of winter.

    1)December
    2)January
    3)February
  2. Knight-Ander Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    "so far Versé is a lovelorn teenager."

    Gee, you could have fooled me! :p

    This is a well-crafted beginning. Are we seeing a handmaiden before she becomes a handmaiden (if that made sense)?

    The only problem I have with it are the Earth-isms. Think up something creative to replace them like "the second month of winter" for Februrary, or "Lover's Day" for Valentine's Day, or something like that. Remember, this is taking place in a galaxy far, far away. :D

    And well crafted names, too. Versé's mother's name and their last name seem to fit very well in the Naboo tradition. :)

    Keep it coming!
  3. Handmaiden Yané Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 6
    Yep, Knight-Ander, I can't fool you.
    Yes, I should have made it more Star Warsy. I can't edit the first post anymore, so it will just have to stay that way. I'll keep what you said in mind for future posts and possibly future stories. :) Thanks for the feedback!

    I'll put up anothe post soon...
  4. Alybrylla Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2002
    star 4
    I really like this Yané, I'm glad you started a new one :)

    You can't edit your post anymore? *frowns*
    Then something must be wrong with the board... I know that this board lets you edit indefinitely so writers can edit their story whenever they wish.

    I can also get you a list of the galactic year (with months etc.) if you want :)

    I'm looking forward to more :)

    EDIT: Erm, I'm sorry Yané, but I can't seem to find the list :(
    I'm sure someone in the Writer's Resource Forum knows though
  5. Handmaiden Yané Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 6
    Oh! I didn't know that! Silly me! :p I'll edit it and make it more Star Warsy! Thanks, Aly. And a list of Galactic months would be great! I'll put up a new post as soon as I fix the first one!
  6. Handmaiden Yané Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 6
    Here's more.

    I'm having Versé be the same age as Amidala. When does Amidala stop being Queen?

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Chapter 2
    Lovers' Day

    Versé smiled as she fixed her hair. Tonight was the Lovers' Day ball. Today she had turned eighteen.

    A knock sounded at the door. Her velvet red dress rustled as she turned around to face her mother.

    "My daughter..all grown up."

    Versé smiled. "It was bound to happen someday, Mama."

    "Oh, I know, I know. Just the reality of it...you look beautiful tonight, Versé."

    "Thank you, Mama." The sound of an approaching speeder brought Versé running towards her window.

    "It's Devon!" She smiled and raced downstairs and out the door. She climbed into the speeder and waved goodbye to her mother as she and Devon sped away.

    Jobali sighed as the speeder disappeared from view. She remembered a very special Lovers' Day ball that she had gone with her then-fiance, Rik. What had gone wrong with their marriage?

    At the ball, Versé was thinking of other things.

    "You look great, Versé." Devon said.

    "Thanks, Devon, so do you. Let's dance."

    Dancing wasn't one of Devon's strong suits, but somehow Versé dragged Devon onto the floor.



    They were taking a break from dancing. Puffs of breath were visible as they strolled outside in the park.

    "Versé," Devon cleared his throat. "You know...that I've been working for Mr. Drayson the past few months..."

    "Yes..."

    "Well, Mr. Drayson just got promoted...to Governor of Peoria. And..he's requested that I go with him."

    Versé's face mirrored her distress. "No! That's...that's kilometers away!"

    Devon hastily took Versé's hands into his. "I'll still be able to visit you."

    "But it won't be the same!"

    "No, it won't. But Versé, I love you, and I won't allow distance to stop me from loving you."

    "I will always love you, Devon."

    A more subdued Versé returned to the ball with Devon.

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    I know, I know, mushy stuff. It'll get better...I promise.
  7. bobilll Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    wow! your story sounds pretty good! keep going!
  8. Alybrylla Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2002
    star 4
    Nice new icon :)

    No no, mush is good! ;)

    Amidala is about 22 when she leaves office as Queen, I think...

    Poor Versé and Devon :(

    Lovely post Yané :)
  9. Handmaiden Yané Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 6
    Thank you, Bobill! And welcome to TFN!

    Thanks, Aly! I like my icon too! What do ya think about my sig?

    Yes, poor Devon and Versé...
  10. bobilll Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
  11. bobilll Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    oh, and thanks, hm yane!
  12. Handmaiden Yané Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 6
    I know I haven't posted a new chapter in a while, but I have to write when the muses move me...if you take my meaning. Actually, I don't have time right now, even though it's my birthday! YAY! About my birthday, I mean.

    You're welcome, Bobill.
  13. bobilll Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
  14. Alybrylla Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2002
    star 4
  15. Handmaiden Yané Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 6
    Thank you Bobill! And at long last, a new post.

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Chapter 3
    Angry

    Versé sighed as she looked out the window of her bedroom. It had been three weeks since Devon had left, but it seemed longer than that.

    Versé had just finished helping her mother make some more wreaths and was free to do as she liked. Her best friend, Dormé, was out of town on vacation with her family.

    She decided to go for a walk. It was still a bit chilly out, so she took her cloak. It was a lovely purple shade and quite warm.

    Her mother and she lived on top of their florist shop on the outskirts of Theed. She didn't have to walk far to reach the forest.

    Before she knew it, she found herself walking to her and Dev's special spot: an old, worn stone bench that was right next to a beautiful crystal pond. She sat down on the bench. Time passed.

    ***

    Versé reluctantly got up and headed back home. She waved to the people she knew on the way home. She finally reached her quiet street. She frowned. She heard...yelling. Her eyes widened. It was coming from the florist shop! She ran to the door. It was her mother...and an unknown male voice.
    An thief? Was he armed? She couldn't take chances, she picked up a heavy stone in her yard and charged in.

    Jobali and the man were surprised. Versé barely registered that the man didn't look like a thief. She banged him on the head...hard. He slumped to the ground, unconscious.

    "Versé! Why did you do that?! That man was your father!"

    "My..my father? How was I supposed to know!" Versé demanded. Her father had left them when she was barely 2. She barely remembered him.

    "Well, help me get him to the couch. And then get the smelling salts."

    Versé did so and then went to go get the smelling salts.

    The man-her father-regained consciousness soon enough.

    "Jobali! It's just like you to use a lady's medicine to revive me! And why would our daughter hit me with a rock?"

    Versé looked at her feet guiltly.

    "I'm sorry...father."

    "Hmmm...sorry indeed."

    Versé's eyes flashed. Who was this man to come back into her life just like that and yell at her mother anyway? "I was, but maybe now I'm not."

    Her mother was trying to hold back her laughter. Why didn't I think of that, hitting Tristan with a rock? Jobali thought.

    Tristan glared at this insolent girl who was his daughter.

    "I have come here to collect you."

    "Collect me??"

    "Settle down. It has come to my attention that you would benefit from going to the University of Theed and getting a political education. Being a lowly florist is not what I had in mind for my daughter."

    Versé went and stood by her mother. She raised her chin proudly. "I am Jobali Vilana's daughter, not yours. You gave up that right when you left us."

    "You are Versé Cabaré, my daughter. And you are coming with me, young lady."

    "Mother?!"

    Jobali sighed. "Daughter, I may not love your father anymore, but I respect him. He is a good politician. Maybe that's why he was such a horrible husband and father. I want what's best for you. Go with him."

    Versé began crying. She couldn't help it. She was moving away from Dormé, farther away from Devon, and she was going away from her mother to be with her..father.

    "You are eighteen, young lady. Now act like it."

    Versé glared at her father through her tears and then ran to her room.

  16. Knight-Ander Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Oh, no. Complicated family matters. I hate when that happens, they make things so... complicated. :(

    But, seriously, that was a really good post, Yane. A lot of young people want to be eighteen forever (and alot of adults still think they are), but real life winds-up hitting them with a ton of bricks sooner or later, and that's what it looks like what you have happening to Versé, and her father is the "ton of bricks."

    Of course, hitting a ton of bricks with a big rock just isn't going to help. :p

    Great story.
  17. bobilll Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    great post! i love that she hit him in the head with a rock. payback for leaving them.
  18. Obischick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 25, 2001
    star 4
    This is a really good story Yane! I love it so much!! Poor Verse!! Her boyfriend far away in Peoria ( ;) Love the name, btw! :D ), she's moving far away from her best friend to live with her deadbeat dad to study to become a politician! Ugh!! :(

    Tehe. I loved it when she hit him on the head with a rock. At first, I wasn't sure if he was nice or not, but when you made him a total pain in the but, well, that's when I was like: "I decree you shalt stone him unto death!" :mad: Grrr....that is one bad man!

    Can't wait for more!

    ~Obischick
  19. Obischick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 25, 2001
    star 4
    *puts hands on hips* Hey! Where is everyone??

    UP!

    ~Obischick
  20. Alybrylla Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2002
    star 4
    Woo! You GO Versé! Hit the rude one with a rock :p

    Is she going to meet Cordé? Or any of the Queen's handmaidens?

    More soon please :)
  21. Handmaiden Yané Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 6
    Thanks guys!

    Heehee! Yes, Versé hit her daddy-o with a rock! She's glad she did it and wish she could do it again, what with the whole you're going to be a politician bit from her dad.

    If you noticed, she's best friends with Dormé already. She'll meet up with Cordé eventually.

    I really really want to write another post to the story,but I don't have time!

    Obischick, if you have any ideas that would make this story better, please tell me. That includes my writing style. I'm thinking about switching this over to 1st person. That goes for anyone else(about the ideas).
  22. Obischick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 25, 2001
    star 4
    Yané, I think your writing style is great. I would keep this one in third person, though you could include more of her thoughts on the situation. That's one of the things I liked best about your Yané story, we got to hear her thoughts.

    Ander mentioned the only other thing that bugged me a little- the earth-ims. But those are easily fixed. :)

    So far I love it to peices though, really I do! :D I can't wait to see what happens next! And how many rocks with Versé hit her father in the head with? :confused: ;) :p :D

    ~Obischick

  23. Bria Manager Emeritus, -MNFF Council

    Member Since:
    May 15, 1999
    star 7
    I don't have any ideas for you, but I like this, Handmaiden_Yane. :)

    ~*~Bria
  24. Dorme Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 12, 2001
    star 3

    Great job HM Yané, this story is so well done! Pooooor Versé! Her boyfriend leaves, then her heartless father takes her away... to become a... *wince* politician!! [face_shocked] Oh the horror!! :(

    By the way, I loved this:

    *Due to the fact that Versé is obsessed about Devon, we will skip past her love lorn thoughts and move ahead* ;)

    LOL!! [face_laugh] That's a very hilarious little line HM Yané! tehe! ;)

    Well, HM Yané if you have ever read Harry Potter, those books are in third person, yet only Harry's thoughts are exposed. I'd recommend using that for this kind of story!

    Well girlie, I'd love more asap! So chop-chop, time's a wastin! :p UPPPPPpp! :D

    -~Dormé~-
  25. Dorme Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 12, 2001
    star 3
    Andddddd.... UP!!! :p

    -~Dormé~-
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