Beyond - Legends Random Factor - Humour/Adventure/AU

*Shifty eyes* Shameless advertising time!

Anyways...

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, George Lucas does (The great and wonderful mastermind behind Starwars and Indiana Jones). Riddles are made by Padme-96. The only thing I own is some of the planets, and the Potato Bear.

RANDOM FACTOR
Chapter 1

Kyp yawned and rolled over. Placing his potato bear on his bed side table, he got up and changed out of his pink pyjamas, casually flicking on the holonet with his free hand. Yawning again, he walked over to the ?kitchen? to make his breakfast, in reality just pressing a button on the food processor, while listening to the sounds issued from the holonet.

?Oh George!?
?Oh Martha!?
?Oh George!?
?Oh Martha!?
?Oh George!?
?Oh Martha!?

He sighed and turned it off. Skulking a hot cup of coffee, he turned his attention to a note on the bench.
?Congratulations, you have won the honour of going on a dangerous quest to find an ancient weapon that probably doesn?t work. To claim your prize, please come to the command centre ASAP or contact us on 1800 STUPID.?
Jumping for joy, Kyp raced to hug Jessie, his favourite potato, goodbye and briskly made his way to the command center.

***

Luke looked at Mara uneasily. She wasn't a morning person; he learned that the first time he poked her in the gut, and awoke three weeks later in the hospital.

Staring at him in ill humour, she asked, ?WHADYA WANT!??

Luke blinked and drew back.

?Meep??

Mara sighed and shook her head, throwing a pillow at him.

?Idiot! What do you want??

She whipped out a frozen breadstick and hit him on the head as hard as she could, inducing another three week coma on him.

?Damn wimp??

She noticed a piece of paper in his hand, and grabbed it from his clenched fist. Feeling curious, she read it.

?Hey, we won a prize!?

She grabbed the limp body of her husband and started to drag him towards the command center, forgetting they were still in their pyjamas.

***

Jaina held a bucket of water, grinning impishly. She was getting ready to throw it at the person who had so rudely woken her up with their loud knocking. The knocker finally grew impatient, and forced the door open, just as Jaina threw it. She drew back as her sopping wet twin brother glared at her, and grabbed the bucket off her. With the remaining water, he returned the favour. The now also wet Jaina sighed.

?Erm?What do you want??

Jacen reached into his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. He waved it in front of her face.

?Did you get one of these??

Jaina shrugged.

?I wouldn?t know, I only just got up.?

She rummaged around, looking to see if she could find one. Her search was fruitful, and she picked it up.

?Hehe, I won a competition! Did you win as well??
?Yep!?
?Really??
?No, everything I tell you is a lie!?
??Then you were lying when you told me what you just told me, so you telling the truth??

Jacen gave Jaina a weird look, effectively confused. Shaking his head, he grabbed her arm and dragged her off to the command center.

***

The representative for Kellog?s Cornflakes inc. looked around the room. Assembled were a cardboard cut-out, an unconscious jedi master, a jedi master in pyjamas, two jedi knights soaked to the core, and one potato loving jedi freak. Yep, all the contestants were here ? Jag, Luke, Mara, Jacen, Jaina and Kyp. He cleared his throat and began to speak.

?As you know, you are all eligible prize winners for our competition. To win the grand prize, you must go on a dangerous quest to find the most deadly weapon known to the universe. To find it, you must solve clues in the form of a riddle format, which will lead you to the next one. There are ten clues in all, and the last one will lead you to the end of your quest. It will lead you to the *dum dum dum* SPRAY CAN OF DEATH!?

Jaina raised her hand.

?Just one question, what?s the main prize??

The representative looked flustered.
{Damn?How do cover this one up?}

End of ch

 

brillent as always Evil. told you what i think already so i won't bother again. now if you'll just right more i'll be happy.

 

::dances:: It's uuuup, It's uuuup!

Hehe... as I said in the PM... I like it! And keep it up.

~Dot

 

hey drunk i think we need to rally some support readers for evil. this is her first story and it's really funny. what do you think?

 

It is funny! Love the pink pajamas! LOL

 

padme : I very much agree... I will see what I can do... and I also think I am going to bring back something I have not used in a long long time... I am going to bring back my crazy intermission posts of doom... and hopefully, between that and private advertising, maybe we will be able to get our friend here some readers!

:rders a contigent of dwarves to go hunt down readers and drag them back here::

::the dwarves, as well as Dot scatter to search nearby threads::

~Dot

 

That was....messed up.

 

that's the point of it MJ

i'll see what i can do bout oming my friends drunk.

as for you evil. please write more!!!!

 

Thou art highly insane...I love this fic

-JSD

 

Interesting...

Must watch this one closely seeing as its CRAZY like me!!

 

I don't understand it . . . ?


Dana

 

LOL!

 

i dont laugh much, but that cornflakes line...



awesome, i need more

 

LOL!!!!!!!!

 

Well, that was....unusual.

I like it!

 

I like this. It's funny, and... insane. Randomly insane. Nice!

--Den

 

All of a sudden, the thread goes dark.

A single spotlight flicks on, illuminating the one and only JMK.

Hey all! I'm heeeeeeeeeeeeeere!

LOL@Kyp's potato and @Luke being a wimp!

 

thankyou everyone who followed my pm. i'll try to get evil to respond tomorrow.

thankyou so much..

hey tang how it going on your end

 

Hey JMK, post in Kyp's Adventures in Babysitting!!!!

 

It was...... interesting

 

okay she did read your replys shes just being slack

 

I did answer to your replies individualy, but the internet stuffed up when I clicked post...

At the rate of it, the second chapter should be up by mid-next week.

Delaya, WarmasterDan, Jaina_Solo_Durron, Mirax Jade, DarthXan318, Infiltrator, Moon_Child, Lank_Pavail, Deneveon & JediMasterKobe (Basically the whole lot of you) - Good to see people with good taste!

Master_Jacen - Yes, it was messed up. I am very messed up.

DantanaSkywalker - I don't understand it either, and I'm the author...

Otto_den_Ktulu - I'll take that as a comlement!


{Quoting Monty Python} And now for something completely different:

CCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE

 

Very nice! Can't wait for the next post!

~Dot

 

and now for something completely different, and man with nine legs. (-e's run away!-) oh...
Sorry.



Oh my goodness!!!! This is soooo funny!! Poor Luke. I would imagine Mara is indeed NOT a morning person. She probably greatly resembles me. Viper Woman, armed to the teeth with pillows and an attitude...

-Nio