Spring, MO Random Humor... If it's funny, put it here.

where the hell do you get those things?

 

Did I read that sign right?

In an office:
>
> > > TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

> In a Laundromat:

> AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR
> CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
>

>In a London department store:
> BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
>
> In an office:
> WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY
PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
>
In an office:
> AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND
STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
>
Outside a secondhand shop:
>
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.
WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
>
>Notice in health food shop window:
> CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
>
>Spotted in a safari park:
>
> ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
>
> Seen during a conference:
>
> FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE
IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
> Notice in a farmer's field:
>
> THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE,
BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
>
> On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR THE
BELL DOESN'T WORK

 

http://www.rainbowanimations.com/animations/view.php?id=swtransitions

for all those annoyed with the transitions in ROTS... here's a little presant.

 

Oh, and I have something else...
http://www.nationallampoon.com/nl/03_voices/starwars/starwars.asp

I have WAAAAAY too much time on my hands...

 

It's a blonde joke, so don't be offended if you're a blonde...

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer asks her some questions:

Officer: What's 2 + 2?

Blonde: Ummm... 4!

Officer: What's the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummm... 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Blonde: Ummm... I dunno.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job.

The blonde replies excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"

 

Hey currently I'm a sort of blond!!

 

^Note the spelling ^

 

The spelling of blond? It is generally spelled blond, but blonde is also acceptable.

 

True, but as a response to a post that spelled it everytime as "blonde"...

 

*snort* That's great! I used to be blonde, but my hair darkened with age. Yay for brunettes!

 

Yay for brunettes!

*Won't use as a shameless excuse to flirt....*

 

I've always been a brunette. Used to flirt a lot too.
>>>
>>>

Of course that was before I became a mom 16 yrs ago.

 

*Won't use as a shameless excuse to flirt....*

What's that supposed to mean?

 

Of course I'd flirt with YOU anyway....

 

Proof Girls are evil!

girls=time*money
time=money
girls=(money)^2
money=(evil)^1/2
girlsevil)^1/2)^2
girls=evil

Works for guys too

 

I can out proof you on that one:

As common knowledge tells us:

Knowledge = Power.
Time = Money.

And as a standard physics equation also tells us:

Power = Work/Time.

Substituting into the equation we get:

Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving the equation for Money we get:

Money = Work/Knowledge

As knowledge approaches 0, Money approaches infinity.

Thus the less you know, the more you make.

 

Over my head...

 

Awwww... come on. That's just basic algebra.

 

Actually the whole as knowledge goes to zero isn't. That's Calc or at least pre-Calc.

 

If you treat it as a limit. But the concept can be understood with algebra.

 

Ah I treated it as a limit in my mind.

 

O.K. Back to funny stuff.

A cannibal looks at another as they dine on a clown and asks....


Does this taste funny to you?

 

LOL! Good one Tim.

 

Rearranging the letters....

 

Thanks Ken!
This was my personal favorite!

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT