Saga Reality Bites (response to the "I Dare You!" challenge) - Han, Leia, Luke, OCs! ANH-ESB (humour)

This fic was posted in response to the I Dare You Challenge.


Title: Reality Bites

Summary: Leia and Han find out that reality bites.

Darer: East_Coast_Ryder

Dare: For your dare, I dare you to write a Han/Leia in-between ANH and ESB. Other than that, it's up to you.

Inspiration: Shakespeare's Beatrice and Benedict in 'Much Ado About Nothing'

---

The blue sun seemed to wink at her from outside the huge glass doors. Unable to resist the temptation, Leia stepped outside, stretching languorously as she let its warm rays bathe her. For the first time since Alderaan, she almost felt at peace.

It was a fine morning in Caperni. And it followed after a finer evening when the Rebel Alliance signed on one more allegiance to her course. Tucked between the Mid and the Inner Rim, the beautiful little planet of Caperni was reputed to be more interested in the pursuit of art than war and her loyalties in the war had been undeclared. It was a surprise then when twenty years later, the Royal Family had a secret request to join the Alliance. Mon Mothma had immediately ordered her pet trio - Luke, Leia and Han - to visit the world and finalize their entry into the Alliance.

The Royal Family had welcomed them well, hosting them in their glorious palace and feasting them with meals so artfully prepared it seemed almost sinful to eat them. While a dancing troupe entertained the guests, the three bluebloods laid out their complaints about the Empire to the trio.



"Palpatine is a monster," the old King said solemnly to Luke. "He places bans on the artists of my world." Tears had stood in his eyes and he pressed Leia's hands painfully.

"Nothing is allowed except art that praises him," said the young Prince fiercely to Han. "His task masters are everywhere, teaching our musicians, painters, storytellers what to sing, paint, tell... A hum of an old sonnets can cause a singer his life."

"Last tri-moon, he ordered that the library of old manuscripts be destroyed," the King said. "We tricked the stormtroopers by smuggling them away and filling the building with blank sheets. But we don't know how long that will work."

His mother, the Queen, had stared at Leia with eyes that were both old and powerful. "This moon, his task force cancelled our bi-moonly presentation of the epic tale of [i]Betrix and Bent[/i]. That is the last straw. We will fight him before he destroys our heritage."

"A Jedi, you say?" The King asked Luke who nodded uncomfortably. There was look in the King's eyes that was positively hungry. "There was a Jedi in Xar's sonnet of [i]Betrix and Bent. [/i]Do you have any stories to tell us?"

All in all, it had been a very successful visit and it was with a wistful heart that Leia watched the sunrise beckon in the new day and their departure. In another life, she would have enjoyed this planet. What a wonderful little treasure Caperni was. She breathed in deeply, determined to relish the last moments of her stay. Nothing could spoil her mood.

"Monster!"

Leia blinked slowly. She had spoken too soon. She knew that voice. And it seemed to be talking to her.

"Monster!"

She turned her head slowly and saw Han Solo leaning out of his own balcony flashing his cocky grin at her.

"Are you talking to me?" She said coolly.

His grin widened. "Sure. Monster."

"I guess that makes you a gargoyle then," she declared, utterly irritated. With a sniff, she turned to step back into her room.

"Hey!" Han shouted. "Can't a fellow say good morning to his neighbour without getting his head hacked off? Hey, come back! I'm talking to you."

She slammed the glass doors shut.

Five minutes later, he was at her door.

"Leia, open up!"

 

Han and Leia in an 'enforced' Reality Show!

 

This was quite adorable. I think you got the Han/Leia banter down just right. Poor them, to be stuck in a reality show for so long.

Good job

 

Ha! Very ingenious idea. Poor Han and Leia . . . I love Much Ado, so it's wonderful to see it sent up . . . er . . . adapted for our favourite bickering couple. Fantastic!

Nem

 

loved the banter between Han and Leia.

great job!

 

Absolutely hilarious!

 

Good job! Loved it! Oh, darn... now I need to work on mine... You weren't very nice with yours. Oh, well. It could be worse...

 

lol. That's a good "spoof" of reality shows.

 

?You must think I?m one of those bimbos you roll around with back in Correllia, right, Han? Big bust. Tiny brains.?

?Sweetheart, no offence, but whoever told you you got ?em big up there, wanted something really bad.?

Ah, typical Han. But gotta love him.


The Family looked unconvinced. ?Then how come your scene was an exact replica of the episode? Down to the part when Betrix knees Bent in his nether regions??

Han blanched.

?I didn?t knee him there!? Leia exclaimed, blushing furiously.

No, Leia didn't. But I can just see her doing that when Han gets her really, really mad.


The episode ? night, I mean ? when you kicked Bent, Han down the stairs broke all the theatre sales records.


That's got to hurt more than being kicked in the nether regions.



I was just thinking about Much Ado About Nothing and to find this story is great. Han and Leia really are like a reincarnation of Beatrice and Benedict in space...

The banter is wonderfully in character. Poor Han and Leia. Another reason to hate reality shows.

 

Thanks to everyone that read and replied, especially my darer East_Coast_Ryder I really enjoyed writing this dare. And yes, there might be some truth - not much, just some - in what she put in her comment.


Glad it ticked your fancy, PonyTricks


I think you got the Han/Leia banter down just right.
::gasps:: Thanks dianethx!

JediNemesis: I love Much Ado
So do I!

Thanks KELIA!

Glad you liked it, VaderLVR64.

East_Coast_Ryder:You weren't very nice with yours. Oh, well. It could be worse...




Crazydan: That's a good "spoof" of reality shows.
Who wrote a spoof? Me?

Liesl: That's got to hurt more than being kicked in the nether regions.

LOLOLOLOL!

 

Great Han and Leia!!!! And perfectly funny!!!

 

Thanks, solojones, not least of all for giving me a reason to Up this fic!