JCC REBELLION!

Oh man, two in one day. Not only did a bad word for penis appear on the forums and not get Reported by me, I quoted it for further exposure.

 

The 6-year-old leaves her toys and crayons all over the house. When no one is home I go around with a garbage bag and throw them away. I've done this for almost two years now and no one has noticed.

 

Whilst driving eastbound on a highway with a 70 MPH limit there was not 1, not 2, but 3 police cars with speeding offenders pulled off to the side of the road all within a few hundred feet of each other. What does everyone else do? They slow down to the speed limit or under. What did I do? 5 MPH over the limit, changed lanes to avoid the slowing down of others, and coasted on to a clear highway.

 

At the convenience store near my house it seems they have priced the 18-packs of PBR the same as the 12-packs. I have not alerted them to their error and have twice now purchased 18-packs for the price of 12-packs.

 

Pulled into the Tim Hortons parking lot. Saw 3 cars in line in the drive thru. I parked and went inside, got my coffee, got back in may car and the same 3 cars were still in line in the drive thru. I drove by them slowly, sipping my coffee.

Double rebellion: this is not the first time I have done this.

 

When we're at the grocery store, my girlfriend has a tendency to buy unnecessary junk food for the kids. When she's not looking I remove those items and place them on whichever shelf we happen to be near.

 

Speaking of the grocery store, me and my mom made a run the other day to get dog food and other stuff, as I was putting the cart into one of those shopping cart lanes, I noticed a pack of bacon somebody must have forgotten in their cart. I picked it up and it was still ice cold. So with nobody around rushing back to claim it, I picked it up and put it one of the bags in our car and took it home with us.

 

Score!

 

I probably lost a bunch of karma points for that, but I figured it was still cold and if I took it back to the store, the store would have just thrown it out. So better for to take it for use than a whole pack of unopened bacon go to rot in a dumpster.

 

When I'm on a plane and an elderly woman in front of me has a pillow, I take that pillow and punch her in the head.



(actually I just wanted to use that gif and I haven't done anything diabolical lately)

 

I'm not going to use a gif for this post.

 

Danny McBride plays the same character in every single movie which is perfectly fine with me for some reason.

 

Building safety rules at work forbid us from running in the hallways but I ran anyway.

 

Did you run with scissors?

 

I'm rebellious, not stupid.

 

Today, while driving, I cut completely across the parking lot instead of following the white arrows and the slant of the parking spots of a shopping mall.

 

More evil from the "step-dad" department. My soon-to-be stepdaughter (the older one) got caught vandalizing an abandoned home near our neighborhood. She's grounded until June and we confiscated her fancy smartphone. She didn't believe me when I said I'd sell it on craigslist, so I sold it on craigslist.

 

I have used that gif before. Well done.

 

We need a confession thread. I actually save gifs I find for the express purpose of using them in this thread.

 

I do too.

 

I actually approve of this. If she was stupid enough to vandalize a house, then she deserves to have her smartphone sold. Good luck to her getting a job that'll pay her enough for her to get a new one. Especially now that she's got breaking and entering on her record.

 

Turned on red, despite the sign and the color of the light.

 

I opened Diggy's thread and didn't read any of the big wall of text.