Beyond ~Reconciliation~ Ben, L/M - AU Story.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jade_Pilot, Apr 9, 2006.

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  1. Princess Cambria Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 20, 2006
    star 4
    Lucas Skywalker Enjeris [face_love]

    Great writing as usual =D=
  2. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    Amazing! Simply amazing. All the different emotions that came to life with this update. It reminded me of my own son's birth. He too wasn't breathing when he was born, and the first couple minutes were tense until we heard that little cry from his lungs. All those memories came flooding back to me as I read about Ben and Rachel's reactions.

    So wonderfully done JP! It was definitely a great way to bring this part of the story to a close. Can't wait for the epilogue!

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  3. ccp Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 29, 2005
    star 4
  4. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Lovely, and absolutely satisfying! I have to admit I had a birth almost exactly like this. It was a rare snow storm in Florida and the bridge between me and the hospital was closed. I told the officer that he could glove up or let me go. He let us go over the bridge. [face_blush] And that baby also needed a little "kick start" to get breathing! [face_laugh] It's funny NOW of course, but it wasn't then. So this chapter was especially appealing to me. [face_laugh]

    Ben rushed over to his kneeling wife, helping her to keep her balance on the floor. ?Just now? It broke just now?? Ben asked.

    ?Yes,? she gasped again, holding her abdomen and breathing hard.

    ?It?s okay, we?ll just get you to the med center and?? said Ben, lifting his wife gently.

    ?Nooooo?.? Rachel sank back down to her knees. ?This one?s?coming? fast.?

    ?How fast?? asked Ben. ?Tiann-fast or Nirice-fast??

    ?Abby-fast,? she groaned, closing her eyes.

    ?Not good,? said Tiann.

    ?That?s not helping, Tiann,? Ben said, giving his twelve year old a look. ?Dad, call whatever medical emergency transport is available and tell them we need medical assistant now.?


    Sounds like Abby's birth was an adventure in and of itself! =D=
  5. smiley_rancor Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2006
    star 1
    Hiya!!

    OOOO amazing post!, glad the baby was ok and that Abilee and Luke could save the baby. Maybe now that ben has seen what one of his children could do with the force then he might be more inclined to allow them to train as jedi. Tho it makes me think that having a baby for me should not happen for a v-e-r-y long time! hehe.

    Can't wait for you epiloge - tho sad that this story will be over. But thank you for writing it.:)

    S_ r


    (PS. Soz that this post is so short but have to get back to RL and revise for horrible exam at 9.30 am tomorrow)






  6. Star_Angel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2006
    star 4
    Oh, wonderful update and thank God that the baby is all right, yay, Go Luke.

    And Abby was really sweet.

    Thanks for the pm[:D] and I?m looking forward to read the epilogue but I?m really going to miss this story.
  7. DarthJaded Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 8, 2006
    star 1
    Loved how Ben and Rachel compare the pain and contractions to Abby. Medic Ben was great to see and poor Rachel having to give birth in front of her in-laws. Great story and thanks for the PM. Is the story really almost over?

    D.JadedO:) :-B
  8. Kinderriegel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 18, 2005
    star 1
    Hey:)

    Once again you've written a great chapter. I love the characters you created as well as the development the already established characters (like Luke and Mara) underwent. Your dialougs are especially refreshing.

    If I had to criticize one thing it would be the length of your chapters. I'm not complaining or anything. I only think that your story would gain even more depth if the chapters were longer. Take, for example, the end of this chapter. The previous chapter ends with Ben being terribly mad at his father. Now said father saves the life of Ben's newly born son. I would have died to know Ben's thoughts at that moment. Of course I assumed that he was probably more than grateful, but I would have liked to read it, too.

    I also would have liked to know Luke's thoughts when he realised that his grandchildrens' middle-name is Skywalker. After all Ben's name change has been a big issue for Luke to deal with.

    Ben's reaction to his wife being in labour was great. You depicted that very well. You can see he has got some experience :) It was fun to see how he took command.

    I'm looking forward to the epilogue. You've written one of the best fanfictions I've ever read!

    Good night:)
  9. Jade_Pilot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2005
    star 5
    A/N: Thanks y'all for your kind words and encouragement! [:D]


    ginchy: Thanks, girl! I'm going to miss the five younglings, too!

    RebelMom: Sometimes it does indeed take a near death experience to help someone put things in perspective.

    Kidan:Thanks! Epilogue is off in my master's hands as we speak!

    padawanlost: ooooooh! A Luke and Abby story! What a great idea!
    Thanks for reading and the plot bunny!

    Mere: Home births, huh? Is that how you entered the galaxy? Thanks for reading.

    Princess Cambria: Thanks. I'll take the baby name suggesstion under advisement!

    WyoJedi: Thanks, bro! [:D] I can't imagine having to go through what you did with DS! My DS was born with cord around his neck, so it was pretty intense for a while. Ah, birthing stories...

    ccp: Thanks! :)

    Vadey: A snow storm in Florida???? :eek: Holy cow, girl! Glad you made it to the hospital in time. Thanks for reading!

    Smiley rancor: Thanks, smiley. Epilogue coming soon.

    Star Angel: Thank you. I am going to miss these characters, too!

    DarthJaded: Thanks! Yes, it is almost over...>sniff<

    Kinderriegel: Thank you. I appreciate your comments. I am still a new writer (since March) and learning my craft. I can see how it would have given the story more depth to include the areas you mentioned. Hopefully with each fiction I tackle, I will become more experienced and learn to add this kind of weight to my writing. Thank you, again!

  10. Master_Vicky Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 29, 2003
    star 4
    Wow! That was great catch up read! I should miss posts more often. There's more to read. :p And it was some good stuff too. ;) The baby's here! It's a boy! Yay! I can't wait to find out his name. I've got some ideas, but I'll just wait and see.





    -Vicster
  11. JadeLotus Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2005
    star 4
    Wonderful chapter J_P - it's so wonderful for Luke and Ben finally come to terms with one another, especially with a new grandchild in the mix.

    =D=
  12. Jade_Pilot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2005
    star 5
    A/N: Well y'all...we made it! What started out as a simple "Ben" challenge grew and grew to become my first short story! I'm certainly going to miss those five children...it's almost like I gave birth to them. :)

    I want to thank all of you for your kind words and wonderful support. This is the most encouraging place I've ever found and I wish I could have y'all over over for fried chicken and pecan pie.

    My special thanks to my wonderful master, JadeLotus. She has been so awesome! Not only is she a great writer, but a great mentor as well. @};-

    And so...without further mush (thanks for allowing me to ramble a bit):



    Epilogue ~ One year later


    ?Hurry everyone they?ll be here any minute!? Rachel raced through her small, but cozy Naboo home stashing toys in cubbies and under chairs. She glanced at the chrono once again and ran to the kitchen.

    ?Smells good Mom,? commented Tiann as he watched his mother take the cake out of the oven.

    ?Where are your brothers and sisters?? asked Rachel, testing the top of the dessert and frowning. Needs another five minutes, she thought.

    ?Emia?s got the baby almost dressed and Caleb just finished brushing his hair and teeth,? said Tiann.

    ?And Abby?? asked Rachel, putting the cake back in the oven.

    ?Uhhhh?.? began Tiann, looking around worriedly.

    ?They?re here! They?re here!? cried Abby bouncing into the room fully dressed and laughing.

    Rachel hurried to the door, as Ben pulled up in the old family land speeder. Her heart pounded as she opened the door to greet their guests. ?Luke, Mara! It?s wonderful to see you.?

    ?Oh Rachel thanks for having us,? said Luke hugging his daughter-in-law to him.

    Rachel embraced Mara also and guided them into the family room. Then she turned around and raised her hand to her lips, blinking back tears as the next person entered the doorway.

    ?Hi Mom,? said Nirice, smiling brightly dressed in her Jedi robes.

    Rachel embraced her daughter, tears falling freely now. ?Oh honey, you look so grown-up??

    ?Hey, don?t I get a hug,? said Ben, laughing as he carried in some of the luggage.

    Rachel leaned over to hug her husband but was interrupted by the oven timer. ?Later dear, I?ve got a cake to see to.?

    ?Grandpa!? Four year old Caleb burst into the room and leapt into Luke?s arms. ?Wait till you see the baby, he?s walking and talking and getting into trouble now.?

    Ben shook his head. ?And who do you think has been teaching him all that??

    Caleb smiled as he leaned over and whispered into Luke?s ear. ?Emia will tell you it was her, but I?ve been a helper, too.?

    Luke laughed, ?I?m sure you have Caleb.? Abby joined Luke as he and Caleb sat on the couch. ?And Miss Abby, how are you doing??

    ?I have hardly been any trouble at all,? smiled Abby gazing up at Luke fondly.

    ?Well, where is my youngest grandchild?? asked Mara impatiently. ?I have a mountain of naming-day presents for him.?

    ?Is everybody ready?? Emia?s voice echoed from behind the living room door. ?Here we come.?

    Into the room came big sister Emia holding little Luke?s hand as he toddled his way toward the family. The newest member of the Enjeris family was almost an exact replica of his dad with strawberry blond hair and the famous Skywalker blue eyes.

    ?Happy naming-day little Luke,? smiled Mara holding out her arms to the one year old. Emia let go and Luke weaved his way over to his grandmother smiling broadly the entire way.

    Rachel?s heart filled, as she took in the sight of her family all together. They certainly had come a long way in the year since that day on Tatooine when her last child was born. ?Nirice you have to tell us all about Ossus.?

    Nirice beamed, looking from her Grandfather to her Grandmother.
    ?Well, I have been steadily improving and seem to excel in telekinetics and lightsaber techniques. But I don?t seem to have a lick of healing abilities.?

    ?Just as long as you don?t have any abilities with boys, I?ll be happy with your progress,? teased Ben.
  13. ginchy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2005
    star 4
    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!

    LOVE IT!

    (Have to go eat lunch now, but will be back in a few with more gushing! :D)

    ETA: Okay! Back! Oh, great epilogue! I love that they named the baby Luke! [face_love] And I love that Luke asked Rachel if she would like to call them 'Mom' and 'Dad'. They're truly a happy, normal family now! And I'm so glad Ben seems fine with his kids choosing whether or not they'll become Jedi--he's certainly grown, and so have my feeling for him. ;)

    Great story, gal! Excellent job; I really enjoyed it! =D= :D
  14. Star_Angel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2006
    star 4
    =D= =D= =D= =D= =D=

    Oh, this ending was perfect but I?m going to miss this story.

    ?Speaking of which, Mara and I would like to know if you?well, we?d like it if you would call us ?Mom? and ?Dad.??

    Rachel gasped as she made her way over to Luke and threw her arms around him. ?Oh, I w-would love to!!?


    That was so sweet.

    ?You?re not the boss of me, poopy head,? taunted Caleb.

    ?Poo-ee head,? mimicked little Luke.


    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Abby smiled as she pointedly looked over at Caleb and then at little Luke. ?Another baby, of course.?

    The ending of the ending just cracked me up [face_laugh].


    Thai have been the most amazing story and thanks for the pm?s[:D].

  15. Princess Cambria Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 20, 2006
    star 4
    You did a wonderful job writing this short story.=D=

    I've enjoyed every chapter. I liked Ben's transformation regarding the force, Rachel was an awesome character, L/M adorable as g-parents and the kids too cute.

    Abby's wish at the end...priceless:)
  16. Bianka_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 21, 2005
    star 1
    Loved it! I don't know if i've commented previously, but this story was so cute! I can't believe Abby wished for another one. I loved your AU, esp. Ben's decision on why he couldn't be trained. What a temper!

    You're from the south? Yay! I'm from Alabama, but now I live in California. I can't get sweet tea anywhere :_|
  17. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Wonderful! =D=

    ?So, Abby,? asked Mara, her eyes shining, ?just what wish did you make for your baby brother??

    ?A very special wish,? she replied.

    ?Oh, a very special wish,? said Luke nodding as he wiped the one year olds? mouth. ?Maybe a couple more teeth for little Luke so he could enjoy a nerf steak or two??

    ?No, Grandpa. I wished the same wish from my last two naming-days,? she said simply through a mouthful of icing.

    ?And what would that be?? asked Ben, feeding cake to Caleb as he dangled over his shoulder.

    Abby smiled as she pointedly looked over at Caleb and then at little Luke. ?Another baby, of course.?


    I'm surprised she didn't specify a boy or girl! ;)

    A perfect ending for this lovely story! =D=
  18. padawanlost Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 16, 2006
    star 4
    So Abby really is the trouble-maker extraordinair after all. [face_love]

    At least Ben's making sure the galaxy won't run out of Jedi any time soon.


    Please let me know if you start that Luke/Abby plot bunny [face_praying]

  19. cdmcc Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 24, 2005
    star 4
    Wow, this was a really nice piece. I know diddly squat about beyond so if you can keep me engaged then you're doing a lot of things right[face_laugh].

    The family stuff was just perfect, and Luke was excellent, and quite good as a tauntaun too.

    Excellent stuff=D=
  20. Shaelyn_Skywalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2006
    star 4
    It's over! It's over! Shaelyn says it's over! It's over! It's over! It's...oh, fergit it. It makes me sad to see those kids dissapear just like that. It was fun while it lasted, of course I will read it over and over again. Good story.

    Yay! Little Lukie!!!!![face_dancing]
  21. DarthJaded Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 8, 2006
    star 1
    Great story!!!=D= I`m so sad that it`s over but at least Ben patched everything up with his parents and everyone is a big happy family.

    D.JadedO:) :-B
  22. RebelMom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 20, 2000
    star 6
    Ah, cute ending. I'm glad the family reconciled.
  23. Meredith_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    Home births, huh? Is that how you entered the galaxy?

    Nope. I'm the third of nine kids, but only the last five have been at home. Anyways, on with my review!

    Caleb smiled as he leaned over and whispered into Luke?s ear. ?Emia will tell you it was her, but I?ve been a helper, too.?

    [face_laugh] He reminds me of my littlest brother.

    Abby smiled as she pointedly looked over at Caleb and then at little Luke. ?Another baby, of course.?

    I bet Rachel wasn't so happy when she heard that! [face_laugh]

    This was sooo good! I love how they named the baby Luke [face_love]. So cute!
    I'm so sad this is over. I'm really gonna miss reading the new updates. :(
    Congratulations on your achievement writing this beautiful fic!!! =D= =D= =D=

  24. ccp Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 29, 2005
    star 4
  25. Kinderriegel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 18, 2005
    star 1
    Hi:)

    Great ending to a great story. I can't wait to see what else you have in store. You hace talent and I'm glad you're sharing your writing with us.

    Thank you for this awesome story(-:

    Kinderriegel

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