"Recreating a Jedi" (A Jedi Apprentice add-on fanfic)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Lwyn'nya Kenobi, Jul 1, 1999.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Jedi Master Ann'ho Fiida Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 1999
    star 2
    WOW! *The Jedi Master sits staring at her computer* That was incredible! The music was a great touch! It really added a lot to the atmosphere. I love the plot twist; it seems our evil Jedi isn't completely lying after all! It's weird, I want to read more of this story, but I also don't, knowing that it only takes us one step closer to the conclusion. You should make this story very long! Once again, great work!

    Oh, I have a question. Is this story devided up into chapters or anything? I've just been dividing it by post, but I was wondering if you have any idea about that?

    [This message has been edited by Jedi Master Ann'ho Fiida (edited 07-29-1999).]
  2. Obese-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 1999
    WHOA!! (takes a moment to catch breath) What a great scene!! This story keeps getting better and better. The music really added to it also.
  3. Bria Tharen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 1999
    star 1
    Bravo Bravo!!
    You must write more!
  4. Narianna Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 1999
    This story's getting better and better all the time! Now we have poor Obi-Wan thinking that he is Xanatos! At least Kali has enough sense to get Qui-Gon (at least I hope it is Qui-Gon). And Xanatos (the real one) is using Obi-Wan's anger to manipulate him. I was wondering, though. Isn't Kali afraid of the Jedi? Maybe she would be a bit hesistant about asking Qui-Gon for help. The story's great, though, and I can't wait to get more of it!!! Keep up the good work!!!!

    Nari-Anna Liras
    Jedi Pupil

    "In the Darkness, find the Light.
    In despair, find hope.
    In the confusion, find the calm.
    In yourself, find the Force."
  5. Lwyn'nya Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 27, 1999
    star 1
    <<rewritten, see below post>>

    [This message has been edited by Lwyn'nya Kenobi (edited 07-30-1999).]
  6. femalepadawan Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 1999
    wow, this story has really sucked me in, its really great, i came in thinking to post my own story but it wouldn't compare to this. your charaterization of qui-gon is absolutly fabulous!!!
    femalepadawan
  7. femalepadawan Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 1999
    wow, this story has really sucked me in, its really great, i came in thinking to post my own story but it wouldn't compare to this. your charaterization of qui-gon is absolutly fabulous!!!
    femalepadawan
  8. Kerby Beagel Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 23, 1999
    Wow. This story is better than the JA books...
    Great job, Lwyn'nya!!
  9. Lwyn'nya Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 27, 1999
    star 1
    *hey everybody! Guess what I got for an early birthday present? The Mountain Dew lifesize stand of Obi-Wan Kenobi! It's now proudly standing in my room
    *********************************************

    Qui-Gon pulled his hood lower over his face and gathered his cloak about him as he started to walk to early morning market streets. The tall Jedi hated throwing caution to the wind, but finding Obi-Wan Kenobi had taken precedence. Normally he would find more subtle clothing to wear as he explored unknown populated territories, but all he was left with was his hooded cloak and his Jedi robes. Between the two he favored wearing his cloak over his robes than striding around town in his Jedi garb proclaiming his status as a Jedi. A quick glance revealed that the locals wore ragged, simple clothing. He would stand out, but it was a risk he had to take.

    Qui-Gon's bold, confident stride that demanded attention changed to a slow, clumsy shuffle to better blend in with the passerby. One half of him kept rapt attention to everything that was happening. The other half of him was lost in the Force as he used the power as a second set of eyes, searching for his student. He couldn't detect his Padawan's presence but it wasn't because he wasn't there. Someone, or something, that could also tap into the Force, was blocking a part of his probe. This piece of information both made him anxious and hopeful. But what could have been blocking his probe? Qui-Gon remembered the slight feeling of familiarity from yesterday, but he knew it didn't stem from Obi-Wan. So who could it be?

    His thoughts drifted to the dark Jedi with the red strips of cloth that covered most of his face. He was an added danger. The dark Jedi could shield himself from the Force that alerted Qui-Gon to any potential danger, to make it seem as if he never even existed. This arcane ability took away the advantage Qui-Gon had by using the Force. At any moment the dark Jedi could sweep in an attack, and so Qui-Gon's defenses were on alert. Hmph. Trust a dark Jedi to not play fair. Qui-Gon thought irritably. But then again, the Jedi who had turned from the light side rarely, if ever, played fair.

    A small commotion farther down the street suddenly commanded all of Qui-Gon's attention. A young man, dressed in a black tunic and pants, was doubled over in pain, his hand clutching the side of his head in agony.

    Relief flooded the Jedi Master. Obi-Wan! His apprentice was alive!

    Qui-Gon squinted to see what the matter was. His student's eyes were squeezed shut in pain, and he leaned upon another man for support. The man was a tall, thin figure, dressed in black robes of office. His hair was stringy and black.

    But then Qui-Gon got a closer look at the man who was helping Obi-Wan. A circular scar was etched on the man's cheek, in the shape of a broken circle.

    Xanatos?? What was he doing here? And why was he with Obi-Wan?

    So lost in his thoughts, Qui-Gon didn't notice as a rather burly, rather intoxicated man bumped into him. The unexpected collision had knocked Qui-Gon to the ground, his cloak and hood falling back.

    The broad-shouldered man looked about to apologize, but when he got a good look at Qui-Gon, at his Jedi robes and his lightsaber that hung from his belt, his eyes went wide with surprise and anger.

    Before the Jedi Master could even get a word in, the burly ruffian had grabbed him by the collar and hauled him to his feet. "Somebody get me the Sheriff!!" he barked, "Looks like I found us a Jedi snake!"

    Qui-Gon, struggling for breath as the burly man's fat hand squeezed tigher around his throat. The Jedi Master was taller than the drunken thug, but his grip squeezed the air from his lungs. "Y-you are mistaken," he spoke, his hand passing before the man's eyes in a casual movement, invoking the Jedi Mind Trick, trying to impose his own will over the drunken slob's.

    But the man's mind was so lathered in sheer hate and liquor that it had no effect. Instead, the other man's hand came up in a fist and clocked Qui-Gon in the stomach in a hammering punch that
  10. The Beef Chick Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 1999
    Write faster or I will have to kill you. I know where you live!
  11. Jedi Master Ann'ho Fiida Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 1999
    star 2
    I am in suspense! This is SO good! Ack! Obi-Wan in confusion, and Xanatos (slimo!), and Qui-Gon arrested!...and...*gasp*
  12. Kerby Beagel Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 23, 1999
    I'm thinking of starting a Lwyn'nya Kenobi Fan Club.... anyone care to join me?


    [This message has been edited by Kerby Beagel (edited 07-31-1999).]
  13. Mrs. Sei-Jil Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 28, 1999
    star 1
    Ahhhhhhhh you have gotten me totally addicted to your story here!!! And now you've got Xanatos messing with Obi's mind and poor Qui-Gon in jail....ohh man, this is like a soap opera---only way WAY better!! Write more soon or I'll die of suspense!
  14. Narianna Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 1999
    A Fan Club? Cool! But why don't we make it a Jedi Apprentice Fan Club? It would be fun to join one. But a Lwyn'nya Kenobi Fan Club/ Website would be good. Maybe all us fans can join together and make one... Anyway, I'm holding my breath here! Hurry up and write more, Lwyn'nya Kenobi! This suspense is definitely killing me! You definitely have talent, and I can't wait for your novels to get published.

    Nari-Anna Liras
    Jedi Pupil

    "In the Darkness, find the Light.
    In despair, find hope.
    In the confusion, find the calm.
    In yourself, find the Force."


  15. legacyAccount Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2012
    Redundant post : THIS IS GREAT !!
    Please go on quickly, I just WANT to see the fight between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan.

  16. Bria Tharen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 1999
    star 1
    The suspense is REALLY getting to me.. write more!!!
    Please!
  17. Amidala22 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 1999
    star 3
    where is she???? i need to know!!!!!
  18. Lwyn'nya Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 27, 1999
    star 1
    :_) You guys are sooooo sweet!

    @_)~}~~~~~ @_)~}~~~~~ @_)~}~~~~~~ @_)~}~~~~~

    Roses for everybody Here's more!
    *********************************************

    Peace over anger.
    Honor over hate.
    Strength over fear.

    This phrase has been the backbone of the Jedi creed. New initiates to the temple were taught this over and over, till it was ingrained into their minds. "Finding courage under fire, peace under chaos," the masters taught, "Is what makes a Jedi."

    For Qui-Gon, these words have been his tenet for as long as he can remember. It had often kept him from losing his control, from losing his temper. Now it was keeping him from losing his mind.

    Sitting in the center of the small, dark cell, Qui-Gon struggled to keep his resolve. Meditation would help him to logically reason out how he could survive this, but his sheer will was crumbling under the random questions that bombarded his mind like shrapnel from an ion bomb.

    What was Xanatos doing here? What was his plan? Why did these people hate the Jedi so much? Well, that one at least has a plausable solution. With Xanatos here, there was no doubt in Qui-Gon's mind that he had to be behind it. Or at least have fan the flames of hatred to suit his dark purposes.

    But that was only part of the worry. His thoughts centered on his apprentice. What was Obi-Wan doing conversing with Xanatos? His student's dislike of Qui-Gon's former Padawan rage even higher than Qui-Gon's. Was Obi-Wan still under the effects of the poison? Had Xanatos brainwashed him?

    All Qui-Gon could see in his mind was the look on Obi-Wan's face as he passed him. The first initial look of confusion, as if he had no recollection of his Master. Then, something had clicked. The look of sheer hatred in his eyes . . .

    Qui-Gon shook his head to clear it. He was getting nowhere fast. Taking a deep breath, he focused his mind on meditation. That would give him the wisdom and clarity of thought that he needed to devise a plan. The Jedi Master's eyes closed.

    ...the look of hatred in his eyes...

    A small noise, nothing more than a soft scratch against the floor, snapped Qui-Gon to attention. Deep down, part of him was grateful for the sudden disturbance that distracted him from the haunting memory that was breaking his heart. Qui-Gon didn't move, but his eyes narrowed to search the small prison. He figured it to be somewhere around midnight. Could it be Xanatos here to gloat or perhaps to give him a quick execution himself? The Jedi Master seriously doubted that. That wasn't Xanatos' style. He'd make Qui-Gon suffer greatly first. And something in Qui-Gon's mind told him that Obi-Wan would be part of that vengeance.

    From the darkness, a soft light from a small glow rod barely lit the room. Qui-Gon looked over to see a young woman with disheveled brown hair and a simple dress approach him. On her face was the guarded look of suspect and determination. She knelt by the cell.

    "You know him, don't you?" she asked softly without preamble, "I saw the look of recognition in both your eyes."

    So this girl knew Obi-Wan as well. "Yes," the Jedi Master answered quietly. "How did you get in-"

    The girl waved her hand as if to brush off the question. "Nevermind that. Can you help him?"

    Even without the Force, he could sense true concern in the girl's voice. "I will do my best," he replied, "But first I must know what is wrong with him. And who are you?"

    The girl's head hung and with a mixture of sadness and embarassment, she told the tale of how she had found Obi-Wan in the forest where he crashlanded. Of how she had changed him from his Jedi robes into peasants clothes and tried to convince him of a life he hadn't lived. Of the Sheriff and the pills. Of the confrontation with him when he had found the truth behind her lies.

    Qui-Gon listened to it all, his face expressionless. He didn't quite understand why the girl had lied to his apprentice in the first place, but realized that it didn't matter much anymore. Things were becoming clearer now.

    "So he suffers from amnesia," Qui-Gon replied to himself, things
  19. femalepadawan Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 1999
    you are too cruel!!!! the suspence is killing me!!!!!!!!!! arg!!!!!!! its not fair to torture us with such wonderful writing !!!!!
    fp
  20. Amidala22 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 1999
    star 3
    brillant!!! now write more!!! please u have us at your mercy!!!
  21. femalepadawan Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 1999
    hi all! i decided to go ahead and post my fan-fic even though it doesn't rate as well as this one. check it out its called Theidia.
    fp

    [This message has been edited by femalepadawan (edited 07-31-1999).]
  22. Lwyn'nya Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 27, 1999
    star 1
    femalepadawan ~ I've read your story. Great job! I like it Can't wait to see where you go with Theidia.

    Okay, everyone, I promise I'll post some more tonight, soon as I get off work. BUUUT, I thought I'd throw in some good news. While being bored at work, I came up with the ideas for two/three new Jedi Apprentice fanfics! So once I finish this one (which shouldn't be too far) I'll start those, so you have different ones to read, rather than having to rely on one. (Mona's taking over on the Episode 1 What if, so that'll free up some time to work on these)

    One of them is fashioned after Mulan. (No, Obi-Wan doesn't become a cross-dresser, so don't worry!) . . . although he has such pretty eyes . . .
  23. Old Juan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 1, 1999
    star 4
    Lwyn'nya...brilliant..absolutely brilliant. Your work is stunning. I have no doubt in my mind that you will achieve your goal of being a professional writer. You are the best writer in this forum. Keep up the great work. But now I must do something that I am ashamed to do. I have been writing a story called the Trials of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Only a few people have read it so far. I would like more feedback but every body comes here and the What If Episode 1(I can't blame them, both are excellent stories). I want to make more people aware of my story. Again I aplogize for my plug. This story rocks!! Can't wait for your next one.
  24. Jedi Master Ann'ho Fiida Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 1999
    star 2
    More stories! Really? I can only wait in anxious anticipation! I will be checking back here every opportunity waiting for the duel! Once again...wonderful...wonderful!
  25. Bria Tharen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 1999
    star 1
    Write more!

    I cant sleep!
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.