Redemption (Ep. III fic, AKA - Really Kewl Oba Fic w/ Xan Included)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by obaona, Mar 2, 2003.

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  1. obaona Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Heya! :) Thanks for clicking.

    Title: Redemption (the other bit is for my lovely co-writer, vader_incarnate - she said it, she should know I'd post it)

    Rating: G

    Summary: A man in the shadows saves Obi-Wan and his charge.

    A/N: Hopefully this will make sense to those not familiar with the character. :) Also, many thanks to LadyPadme - she tried her best. :p

    On with the fic. :)


    *********************************************

    The cloaked figure kept to the corners and dark shadows of the buildings, running lightly along alleyways. His shoulders were hunched down protectively, his arms held curved in front.

    It was raining heavily, making the normally dark and dirty Corellian city of Mangeht appear even grungier. Mangeht was known for its total dislike of any government entities, and their interference. Here, everything was a matter of survival and money, never ethics.

    It was a good hiding place for a Jedi, and his young charge.

    The watching man would never have believed the cloaked figure was Obi-Wan Kenobi, had he not seen the Jedi's face purely by accident. Obi-Wan had been crouched on the ground, his dirty, torn cloak pooling around him in the sewer water in which he knelt, resting. His arms had been curled around something he was holding, his back hunched over it protectively as he gazed down. His hood was drawn down very low.

    He had only been passing Obi-Wan when Kenobi shot a wary glance up and around; just as quickly he looked back down, and that brief appearance of his face vanished. He had seen the ginger hair, streaked with a few brushes of gray, stuck to the Jedi?s face with sweat and rain. The blue eyes, normally full of serenity and sometimes even a gentle humor, were dark and nearly unreadable, showing only worry and paranoia.

    Though paranoia was a good thing to have these days, even for those that the newborn Empire had no interest in. He himself had held to wariness, had used what remained of his wealth from the days of the Republic to make himself a haven where he would never be found.

    He should just leave the Jedi alone. It was none of his concern.

    But something within him held him back from doing that. When Kenobi had risen from checking whatever he was holding, the watching man had followed him, keeping his distance carefully. Obi-Wan could very well sense the presence of a tail if he wasn?t careful enough. The Jedi was skilled, and more importantly, he had something ? whatever that bundle was ? to protect.

    Jedi took those things seriously. The watching man knew that very well, for the same principle had been drilled into him. For a time, he had lost that. Perhaps . . . perhaps he had found it again.

    Even as Obi-Wan kept to the shadows, his follower did the same. He trailed at enough of a distance that he could barely see the Jedi. He would often glance at his surroundings, knocking his long black hair out of his eyes, and wonder where indeed the Jedi was going.

    Which was how he saw Obi-Wan?s other stalker.

    He doubted this other one had his own such harmless intention ? curiosity, really ? as he followed Kenobi. This new stalker was clearly a bounty hunter, perhaps even one of those hunting specifically for Jedi. The camoflauging matte color of the Twi?lek?s clothing spoke of experience, as did the easy, silent way in which he moved and the distance he kept from his target. Jedi could only sense so far, and Obi-Wan might not catch the bounty hunter?s presence in time - especially if the bounty hunter used the tranq gun he was holding. It looked to be of the type that shot darts that exploded into mist when caught in heat ? like the heat of a lightsaber, for example.

    Yes, the bounty hunter might very well succeed.

    To the watching man, the question was, what was he going to do about it? He owed nothing to Obi-Wan. Nothing at all. He had never harmed the boy.

    But Force knew he owed so much else, for his crimes against innocent beings and worlds, even.

    Before the thought had finished and fully formed w
  2. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
    Yes! You posted. :D

    Loved it, Oba, but you already know that, right? The title's perfect. [face_love]

    Woo, first reply! :)
  3. vader_incarnate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2002
    star 4
    Of course the title's perfect. ;) And absolutely true! :D

    Beautiful, oba! :) Wonderful, as per usual, and especially so because I've got a nifty picture of Xanatos sitting on my desktop as soon as I minimize all my windows!!

    *does so*

    WIZARD!! :D :D :D
  4. LadyPadme Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2002
    star 5


    You posted! Great viggie, Oba! I liked the way it managed to be both dark and hopeful at the same time.

    Poor Obi-Wan, always caught in a bad situation!

    Agree with our newest handmaiden. The title is perfect.

    Vader_incarnate: you have a picture of Xan? What does he look like?

  5. KatarnLead Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 5, 2002
    star 3
    Wow...Oba, you've done it again! ;)

    Once more, you amaze and grace us with a brilliant fic. The seeming conflict that is going on in Xanatos' mind is great...how he wouldn't normally consider anything about killing the kid, yet for some reason he did this time.

    I haven't read any of the books with him in it, yet it flowed perfectly...I knew what was going on... Yes, that could be cos Oba spilled the beans last night and told me what it was about, told me it was about Xanatos (which kinda spoils it a bit), yet still it's brilliantly written. Of course it's brilliantly written.

    Perhaps Obi-Wan had meant it. Had meant the words that could affect a fallen Jedi so. Perhaps it was message, that he was not completely lost from the Light Side. That Obi-Wan believed him to not be lost. If he was not lost ? if he could find that light again, and keep it ? if he had found it again ? those words would be true. The Force would be with him, would lighten the dark corners of his mind. Perhaps he could do as he did with Obi-Wan, and help, and by those actions know the Light again.

    May the Force be with you.

    And maybe he would find his redemption.


    *faints*

    That was especially brilliant...I'm speechless...

    *tips hat in amazement* Once again, great work! Billiant title! :D

    *hugs*
  6. Lady_Moonbeam Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2002
    star 3
    I'm really stunned. This was just beautiful--everything about it, from Xan noting the change in Obi-Wan's eyes, to the haunting ending... everything!

    "May the Force be with you, Xanatos."

    That gave me the shivers! Absolutely fantastic!
  7. PaddyJuan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 15, 2002
    star 4
    That was wonderful. I love the vision out of Xanatos' mind. Thank you.
  8. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    :) Beautiful! You write Xan very well!
  9. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Oh, Oba, that was wonderful. Do you know how bad that is?

    You've gone and given me an idea for a story - something I desperately need to avoid right now. I absolutely canNOT have another story floating around my head. Sigh.

    I'm going to have to take you out back of the Death Star and beat you or something. :D

    Great work - you do vignettes like nobody's business. Loved the insight into Xan's mind.

    Can't wait to read more!

    Shaindl
  10. vader_incarnate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2002
    star 4
  11. VadeyFan2002 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2002
    star 4
    Oh, fabulous! Can't you make a whole strory out if it, please?

    Vadey
  12. Jedi_Johnson Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2002
    star 5
    Great work Oba... this was fantastic. *is in too much awe to write anything understandable* Wow.

    J_J
  13. Linari_Tanis Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2002
    star 1
    *eyes get all watery* I wish that's how it could happen in the next movie. :) Xanatos saves Obi and Luke. One of the Dark saves Luke in the beginning and Another of the dark saves him in the end. That's so awesome! :D
  14. Jedi_Johnson Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2002
    star 5
    *is still in too much awe to properly give opinion*

    J_J
  15. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  16. KatarnLead Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 5, 2002
    star 3
  17. vader_incarnate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2002
    star 4
  18. Jedi_Johnson Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2002
    star 5
    *J_J sneaks in and looks at v_i's sig.* heh heh heh UP! *runs away before getting smacked*

    J_J
  19. Happy_Hobbit_Padawan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2003
    star 4
    Oh wow this was wonderful! I could clearly see in my mind what was happening as I was reading.

    Why was he crying? Tears leaked from his dark, midnight blue eyes, rolling down his face and off his chin. Guilt had weighed down his soul for years. And he had risked his own life, his disillusioned soul, in the protection of innocence, of an infant. Truly the most innocent of any creature.

    Perhaps Obi-Wan had meant it. Had meant the words that could affect a fallen Jedi so. Perhaps it was message, that he was not completely lost from the Light Side. That Obi-Wan believed him to not be lost. If he was not lost ? if he could find that light again, and keep it ? if he had found it again ? those words would be true. The Force would be with him, would lighten the dark corners of his mind. Perhaps he could do as he did with Obi-Wan, and help, and by those actions know the Light again.


    I loved the ending; it was so moving. I liked how you had him following Obi-Wan out of mere curiosity at the start, but then he acts out of the light that is still within him.

    Also, the image of Obi-Wan recognizing Xan, while comforting the baby, and telling him 'May the Force be with you', was powerful and memorable. :)
  20. crystalrain Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2003
    star 4
    That was really good, obaona. I'm not familliar with Xanatos though, although I've read about him in the waters edge. I understand he was a fallen Jedi?
  21. vader_incarnate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2002
    star 4
  22. obaona Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    First of all, apologies its taken me so long to respond to my lovely readers. :) Being sick = :mad:

    Jedi_Suzuran: Thanks! :D

    vader_incarnate: You silly. :p Well, I had to write a Xanatos fic sometime. We've got him in our goodbye ritual, after all! ;)

    LadyPadme: Yay, I posted! :D [face_mischief] And thank you. It's meant to be dark, but the ending is supposed to be hopeful. :) There are a few Xanatos pics on JA covers, also. And some people like to draw him. ;)

    KatarnLead: [face_blush] [face_blush] [face_blush] [face_blush] Ah, my Knight. [face_love] The fact that he wouldn't normally consider the kid's life, but did this time, is supposed to be a showing of a change that's been going on for a while. Don't know if I managed to get that across, but *crosses fingers*. I'm also glad you understand what's going on. :) *hugs*

    Lady_Moonbeam: Thank you! :) At first I thought about having them talk, but that single line seemed more . . . dramatic. ;)

    PaddyJuan: :D Thank you!

    obi_ew: I know how much you like him, so thanks a lot for the compliment. ;)

    Shaindl: Er . . . *grabs KatarnLead* He'll protect me. [face_plain] Seriously, thank you. And I write viggies because they're so much easier and less time-consuming than all the long plot bunnies. ;)

    VadeyFan2002: I briefly considered going on about Xanatos' light-side exploits, but at present, I'm not going to. It'll be fun to do someday, though. :)

    J_J: Thank you! :D :D

    Linari_Tanis: Hey, it might. Of course, with Xanatos being dead and all it would be difficult for it to be him . . . . Thanks. :)

    J_J: [face_blush]

    PadawanKitara: Thanks! :D

    J_J: *smacks*

    Happy_Hobbit_Padawan: Thank you. :) The idea or promise of redemption is a powerful one, and one I'm sure all us SW fans like a lot. ;) As I told someone else, I thought about having Obi-Wan and Xanatos carry a conversation, but the one line seemed more dramatic, and all that was really needed.

    crystalrain: Yes, he was a fallen Jedi. Well, a fallen Padawan. He was Qui-Gon's second apprentice, and his last test before Knighthood involved his father. Qui-Gon had to end up killing Xan's father, and Xanatos turned at that point. He was killed in the JA series, committing suicide rather than be brought before the Jedi Council. And thanks. :)

    Elli darling: Thanks for the ups! I appreciate it. :)
  23. Jedi_Johnson Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2002
    star 5
  24. Nudist_Jedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2003
    This is really good Obaona. :)
  25. KatarnLead Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 5, 2002
    star 3
    *holds Oba*

    I'm here, any time you need me, dearest. :D

    btw, up!
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