Saga Reflected memories ? short Vader vignette

Title: Reflected memories
Author: Darth_Father-in-law
Timeframe: pre- ESB
Characters: Vader, Leia, Luke
Genre: Angst mostly
Keywords: Vader, Leia, Luke, vignette, angst
Summary: Vader?s thoughts of Leia and Luke. This is really short and weird, I warn you.
And I'm sorry if there is many grammatical mistakes, but if I notice them, I will correct them later.

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Since when I killed my master, I?ve felt somehow suspicious. Death Star was destroyed and Empire seemed to shake for that. I started to doubt our strength, even my own. I wondered how some inexperienced boy could blow up our ultimate weapon. How could the small group of rebels oppose our magnificent Empire?

Were we so easily fooled, so full of ourselves that we didn?t take their attacks seriously?
And above all, who was that boy?

Now I know better. That boy was a farmer from Tatooine, with incredible pilot skills and Force sensitivity.
His name is Luke Skywalker. As I heard his name few weeks ago, my breathing blocked up.
First I even refused to admit the truth that he was my son. But I knew there were no other Skywalkers, especially Luke Skywalkers.
I tried to assure myself that our baby died with his mother, but it was a lie. His mother died, but the baby survived.

However I realized that the Emperor had lied to me. I have learned to not trust him, but now I know I hate him. He has taken everything from me; he is the one to blame.
Yet I can?t do anything else than find my son and convert him to be my apprentice.
Together we will destroy Emperor and his pitiful lies.

I have already sent hundreds of probe droids to search for him and his rebel companions, but there isn?t yet any information about his whereabouts.

I know Luke is my son, but only in formal. I will not give in to my feelings. I won?t think of his mother, or my former master anymore. He is dead, and that?s what I wanted. Just to see him falling, to kill him with my own hands. Hurt him like he hurt me. He was just a liar; it?s good to know he?s gone with other Jedi. He started to train my son with his twisted view of life, but I will turn his training to other path. Soon he will walk the dark path just like I did almost twenty years ago.

I don?t want to feel guilty about his dead, but somehow that incident plagues me. I started to have nightmares about my past, and especially from Padmé.
I don?t see those nightmares anymore, but it?s still haunting me.

That same guiltiness surrounded me after I had tortured Princess Leia, but in some ways it felt also satisfying. When I hurt someone else, I forget my own pain for a moment.

Otherwise that Chain of events in death Star before it was blown up made me feel confused. Destruction of Alderaan, death of my master, confrontation with Princess and escape of that small rebel group were just like reflections of my memories, my past that is ruining me more and more every day.

In that day on Death Star, Princess Leia Organa was the person who confused me the most. Her name of course leads me to think my angel, those times when we invented the name to our baby.

Leia Skywalker. It was the name of my girl, my baby. I?m not blaming myself of the past like I should, because it doesn?t help me. My past is no longer significant, it only hurts me more.

But the thing that makes me feel enormous hate is that they have stolen my girl?s name. That yes-man Bail Organa from Alderaan has used his opportunity and taken the name that belonged to our baby girl. Of course, he was the friend of Padmé, so he heard that name from her and took it with his wife.

Princess Leia looks just like my Padmé, but she can?t be my daughter. There was no baby girl, like I was sure about it. I just felt it, but I guess I was terribly wrong. Padmé was right, it was a boy, but I can?t deny that she reminds me of her. Her eyes and hair are the exactly same color what Padmé had, but on the other hand, her mother Breha Organa had those featur

 

WOW!!!!!

That was a powerful and moving piece. I could totally picture him thinking that, I must say you have an amazing job with this one!!!!

 

That was really sad. You did a great job portraying his anger and regret

 

I liked it!

I can very well picture Vader thinking like that. My dear Vader, just think a bit outside of the box: you could have two children! As always, his insticts tell him the right thing, but his twisted mind just doesn't listen.

Loved his anger, his memories of Padme. Looks like he was jealous of Bail too...Bad Anakin.

Sorry for the rubbish of review I gave you this time, I'm just a bit



CrazyAni

 

Wonderful portrayl of Vader in all his glorious complexity and contradictions!

 

Wonderful vignette! I love how Vader refuses to believe anything about Leia--in a sense, he is really only trying to protect himself, but he doesn't understand that. Great job!

 

This was so sad.

You captured Vader's emotions so well - his pain, confusion, sense of betrayal.

She seems to be the reflection of my pain, all of those anguished memories, and all of what I was before.

I especially liked this line.

Wonderfully done!

 

Anakin_Heartbreaker- Thanks for reading, and your fantastic words!
I've always thought what was in his head when he saw Leia, and how he connected her to his past, to those times when he and Padmé were thinking names to their baby.

Alishu06- Thanks! It's always nice to hear someone likes my writing!
His anger is somehow intelligible, but sometimes he could need anger management...

CrazyAni- Nice to hear that!
Anakin was quite credulous person, but now when he is Vader, I think he has some kind of blindness to truths that are in front of his eyes. He is so deep in his desperation that he don't even want to admit some things, like that Leia is his daughter. And I think he was a bit jealous of Bail, he had a jealous nature - now he's jealousy is focusing to Leia.
In my point of view that wasn't rubbish, every feedback is fine!

VaderLVR64 - Well thank you!
He really has contradictions in his life, as well as all kinds of problems. I think he is always battling against his "good" self, whose instincs of course tells that Leia is his daughter, but as CrazyAni wrote, his twisted mind refuses to listen. He is so difficult character, and that's why I love him.

Luna_Nightshade- I'm so glad to hear you liked it!
I'm sure that he knows in his innermost that Leia is his daughter, but he just doesn't want to admit it, yet she is a rebel and reminds him too much from Padmé.

Gina - Thank you for your great response! I've always loved Vader, so it's nice to hear I managed to get into his head and describe his feelings.


I'm sorry for the chattering, but the point is that I really appreciate your comments. So, big thanks to all of you!

 

Great vig!

I loved the way you described Vader's anger towards Leia, and how that sprung from the pain of everything she reminded him of. And I think some of that about Leia and not having a baby girl is simply denial from him...

Once again, great job!

 

Bravo! I loved this vig. I loved the way you portrayed Vadar's feelings about Leia and how he didn't know she was his daughter until the end of the Saga. You should write more... I love ur writings!

Rachel Rose

 

Siaynoqsbride- Thanks! I'm happy to hear you like this vig!
Yeah, some of it can be denial, he just refuses to believe anything, maybe because he has painful memories of Padmé and the baby, and because Leia is so against him and the Empire.
He is kind of naive in this situation.
Thanks for reading!

AnakinLuver- Thank you so much!
I think he knew it deep inside him, but he didn't want to listen his instincts. When he actually finds out the truth in RotJ, he gets a affirmation to his thoughts.
Well, whatever. Thanks for reading!